Page 35 of Twice Baked Risky Whiskey Cakes (MURDER IN THE MIX #53)

LOTTIE

T he crowd scatters before me as if I’m a human bulldozer and my pregnant belly is the wrecking ball as I try to cross the street right in the middle of the St. Patrick’s Day parade, right here in Honey Hollow.

I waddle my way through the junior high marching band with all the grace of a penguin on roller skates, one hand supporting my lower back, the other extended like a bumper to ward off potential collisions.

Carlotta trails behind me, jangling with enough parade beads to sink a small ship.

“Make way for the human incubator,” she calls out to anyone who fails to dodge quickly enough. “Two tiny humans coming through—still in their original packaging! Let’s try to keep it that way, Lot. Shall we?”

Before I can answer, Sebby materializes beside me as his ghostly fox form shimmers with excitement. “Lolita! You’re moving with the determination of a fox on a rabbit hunt. I find your waddle most dignified!”

“Thanks, Sebby,” I mutter. “Nothing says dignified like not being able to see your own feet.”

“This too shall pass,” he hums contentedly as he floats by my side. “Although there’s no guarantee it’ll pass anytime soon.”

“Or ever,” Carlotta contributes. “And it’s all your fault, Lot. You’ve coddled those kids. You keep feeding them donut after donut, and now they’re never going to leave. I went on a strict diet of booze and cigarettes when it was time to give both you and your sister an eviction notice.”

“That might explain a few things,” I sigh as I do my best to dodge an Irish band coming in hot to my right.

One of the bagpipers blasts a note so high-pitched, I swear one of the twins does a somersault in protest.

The smell of corned beef and cabbage wafts from a nearby food stand, mingling with the sugary sweetness of green cotton candy and beer that’s been dyed an unnatural shade of emerald. And my stomach growls appreciatively at all of it.

What can I say? The twins have my taste buds working overtime.

By the time we reach the opposite side of the street, my foot misses the curb by half an inch.

I wobble precariously—because apparently, my center of gravity has packed its bags and moved out of state—when Venus Finnegan appears out of nowhere.

She grabs my arm with surprising strength and hauls me onto the sidewalk as if she’s landing a particularly stubborn marlin.

“Lottie,” she pants with her eyes wide. “What in the world were you thinking? You nearly took a tumble there.”

“Or twelve,” I tell her, hugging my belly as a quasi-apology to the twins. “I was just hopping over to say hello.”

Venus cringes my way. “All you had to do was wave me over and I would have been there in three seconds flat.”

“You’re so kind,” I tell her. “And thanks for the save,” I say, patting my belly. “These days I’m about as graceful as an elephant trying to balance on a beach ball, and twice as dramatic when gravity gets its way.”

She gives a mournful chuckle, just as Sebby circles around Venus curiously. “The blonde one has quick reflexes! In my fox days, I would have been impressed by such hunting skills. Although not so impressed if I were to end up on her trophy wall.”

Keegan approaches with measured steps, looking as polished as ever in her designer emerald ensemble. Not a hair out of place, unlike me. I’m pretty sure I have powdered sugar in my eyebrows and frosting in places it doesn’t belong.

“Lottie,” she acknowledges me with a tight smile. “Enjoying the festivities?”

My mouth opens and closes. “Would you ladies mind if we found somewhere quieter to chat?” I nod toward a large maple tree where the crowd has thinned out and we head that way.

“Venus”—I begin once we’re settled under the branches—“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but are your siblings your full siblings or step-siblings?”

Sebby’s ghostly ears perk up a notch. “ Ooh , Lolita! Direct questioning! This is just like those detective shows Sebastian used to watch. I can’t wait until you say, ‘Cuff ’em, Carlotta.’”

Carlotta nods. “And it just so happens that I travel with a pair of those on me—for recreational purposes, of course.”

Venus inches back like I’ve just asked her to help me hide a body. “They’re actually my step-siblings. Why do you ask?”

Keegan lifts her chin and her posture screams “guilty” louder than Lyla Nell when denied cookies. “Lottie, I told you I needed a chance to speak with my children. Whatever you think you know, please stop now.”

“ Ha .” Carlotta is quick to laugh in the woman’s face.

“Lot Lot, stopping anything?” Carlotta snorts and gestures at my pregnant belly.

“Just look at her. She can’t even stop at one baby.

She had to go for the two-for-one special.

And don’t get me started on her donut consumption.

The woman has never met a baked good she didn’t like. ”

There are no truer words.

“Thanks for that character reference, Carlotta,” I mutter before turning to face Keegan directly. “My mother confirmed that you went by the nickname Kay.” I take a moment to glance at her daughter. “I’m sorry to do this, Venus, but I’d like for your mother to answer a few questions.”

“What?” Venus gasps as if I just wielded a knife their way—much like the killer did to Sebastian.

Sebby circles Keegan with his ghostly tail swishing. “Her aura is twitching like a rabbit’s nose, Lolita! She is definitely hiding something tasty!”

Maybe so, but I know for a fact murder leaves a bitter taste in just about anyone’s mouth.

Keegan groans and it’s almost inaudible beneath the blare of the passing band, but I catch it anyway.

Venus must have heard it, too, because she gasps at her mother while her perfectly manicured hand flies to her throat as if she were in a Victorian novel.

“Mother,” she says with a growl. “Whatever she asks, just answer it. For goodness’ sake, it’s not like you’re the killer.”

Keegan doesn’t say a word; she simply crimps her lips, and that alone causes Venus to gasp twice as loud.

Venus closes her eyes in defeat for a moment. “I just pray this day doesn’t end with the need for legal counsel.”

Carlotta nods. “Green beer and attorney fees don’t mix well. Ask me how I know.”

“Keegan”—I press on, fully ignoring Carlotta’s potentially dicey diatribe—“did you have two children with Sebastian Gallagher? Were you married to him, and did he walk out on you? Or am I just making wild assumptions based on my sugar-addled pregnancy brain?”

Okay, so I gave her an out, but that’s because I like her and I like her daughter, too. I don’t want any of this to be true.

Keegan pauses to look at the sky as if she’s checking if somehow the luck of the Irish might actually save her from this conversation. Finally, she bows her head in defeat.

“ Yes ,” she admits, the word seemingly dragged from her against her will.

“Sebastian drained my trust fund during our five-year marriage, then abandoned me with two small children. In fact, I recently discovered he maintained a long-term girlfriend throughout our entire marriage.” Her voice hardens.

“It’s true. I was married to that donkey and he did exactly what you said.

He told me he was going to the store and never came back. The man was deplorable.”

“Good grief,” Venus says as she bows slightly as if she might be sick.

“Oh, Keegan,” I say. “I’ve heard of deadbeat dads, but that’s reaching Olympic levels of abandonment. I am so sorry to hear it.”

Sebby’s ghostly eyes widen. “The plot thickens like your famous whiskey pudding pie, Lolita!” His ears slope down toward his face and his entire countenance falls into despair. “Sebastian was even more dastardly than I could have imagined.”

Poor Venus looks as if she’s been slapped in the face as she looks at her mother. “But you told us your first husband died! You said his name was Phillip Dawson!”

“I’m sorry, Venus.” Keegan’s eyes swell with tears that she doesn’t allow to fall.

“I was too ashamed and angry to tell you kids the truth. I was going to, though. I was getting ready to.” She turns and glares at me sharply enough to frost cupcakes from across the room.

“But someone has decided to take that opportunity away from me.”

I also decide to cut straight to the chase. No sense in tap-dancing around the elephant in the room—especially when I’m basically the elephant both metaphorically and literally speaking.

“Did you kill him, Keegan?” I ask point-blank.

“Oh, course she did, Lot,” Carlotta chimes in with an inappropriate whoop.

“The jerk did her dirty. Now we need to forget we ever had this conversation and skit, skat, scoot across the street and celebrate with a pint of green beer that the dirty rat is dead. I mean, if I had a quarter for every man who deserved a stabbing, I’d have retired to Fiji by now. ”

Sebby zips around the four of us. “Carlotta speaks the ancient vulpine wisdom! In the fox world, such betrayal would warrant a swift nip to the hindquarters!”

Venus looks at her mother, her face crumpling faster than my resolve in front of a fresh batch of cinnamon rolls.

“Mom, did you do this?” she asks just above a whisper. “Did you stab Sebastian Gallagher in the heart?”

“No,” Keegan doesn’t hesitate with her answer.

“He tried to corner me that night and we spoke for less than a second before I got away from him. I needed to collect my thoughts. I don’t appreciate being caught by surprise.

I was just about to let you know that I was leaving the event when I saw the crowd gathered around his body.

” She closes her eyes for a moment. “I’ll admit, I was a bit relieved, a bit saddened, and a bit angry that I didn’t get a chance to properly give him a piece of my mind. ”

“I’m sorry to hear it, Toots,” Carlotta says with genuine sympathy. “A good knife to the chest would have made you feel a heck of a lot better. Especially if you were the one delivering the blow. Nothing says ‘I’m over you’ quite like a well-placed stab wound.”

“ Carlotta ,” I snip. “Maybe dial back the homicidal cheerleading while we’re in public?”

Sebby nods. “At least wait until the leprechauns are out of earshot.”

Carlotta gags as she tosses up her hands in mock surrender.

“I’m just saying what we’re all thinking.

Nothing clears the sinuses like justified homicide—except maybe wasabi.

And the way these twins are pushing on your bladder, you might be contemplating it yourself soon.

I’ve seen you waddle to the bathroom fifteen times today alone. Sexy has it coming to him.”

“Thank you for keeping count of my trips to the potty,” I deadpan. “I was worried no one was monitoring my bladder habits.”

Sebby nods sagely. “Being a ghost has its advantages, Lolita.”

I’ll keep that in mind.

Keegan straightens her already perfect posture. “If you’ll all excuse me, I’d like to go home now. I’ve had enough St. Patrick’s Day festivities to last a lifetime.”

“ No ,” Venus says firmly. “The best thing you can do is tell Detective Fox everything you just told these ladies and me. He’s around here somewhere. I saw him earlier. I’ll help you track him down.” She turns to me with an apologetic half-smile. “I’m so sorry about all of this, Lottie.”

I shake my head at her mother. “But if you didn’t do the deed”—I start— “then who did?”

Keegan shrugs with elegant dismissal. “I did hear he ran into some real legal trouble years after he ditched me. And in typical Sebastian fashion, he made sure someone else took the blame. I’d look in that direction.

I heard it had something to do with a scientist he was dating at the time.

” They take off before I can respond, leaving me staring after them with my jaw just about hitting the pavement.

A scientist he was dating?

Sebby floats in front of my face with his transparent tail swishing with excitement.

“Lolita! My fox senses are tingling! A scientist with a grudge is always a dangerous predator—they know all the clever ways to make things go boom!”

The members of the redheaded roundup continue to march the parade route, tossing more beads and waving to the crowd, their crimson hair blazing like warning signals in the afternoon sun. And suddenly, one particular redhead comes to mind.

And just like that, my mind is blown.

Boom , indeed.

I scan the crowd, searching for a familiar face with vivid red hair and a friendly smile that might conceal the darkest of secrets. Because sometimes the most dangerous poison comes in the sweetest package, and up until now I’ve been swallowing every single drop.