Page 23 of Trust Me (Rivers Edge #1)

“Fair enough. Just know I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.

I’d never intentionally hurt you. Either of you.

” Then I get out of the car, leaving him sitting there.

I head inside to file my paperwork, and hopefully get out of here before too many others start to question my still-battered face.

I got lucky yesterday and there was hardly anyone there at the end of shift.

I mentally cross my fingers and hope for the best.

**** *

The next two weeks pass by in a slow blur of days running into nights, which are mostly sleepless as I toss and turn, my mind filled with thoughts of Avery.

I know I want to be with her, I just need to make sure I’ve got my shit together first. If I go to her before I get everything straightened out in my life, I know I’ll just kill our second chance.

And there’s no way in hell I’m going to do that.

If and when Avery gives me a second chance, I will make sure there is nothing getting in the way of it.

Her past is her own to work out, and I’m hoping these past three weeks have helped her do that.

For me, I’ve discovered I’m ready to let go of my fear of commitment and relationships.

I want nothing more than to be the man she deserves and a good father to Brooklyn.

Every time I think of that outgoing, rambunctious three-year-old, I smile.

She may have the worst kind of father on paper, but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t have the best father in her life.

I’ve realized I want to be that man. I want to be her father.

And that thought doesn’t scare me anymore.

Three months ago, I would have run for the hills.

That was before I fell in love with that little girl and her mother .

I also discovered that being with someone you truly love is better than any one-night stand could ever be. What I felt and shared with Avery is more than every girl I’ve had sex with in the past, times a hundred. I can’t imagine not being with her for the rest of my life.

And it’s not just the sex, which is damn awesome, but I love just being with her.

Whether it’s sitting on the couch and watching TV or taking her out for pizza and beer, I want to be with her, near her, because I’m a better man when I am.

She makes me smile and laugh and challenges me in ways I never thought possible.

I miss her something fierce. I miss her smile and her laugh.

I miss the way her eyes sparkle the brightest blue when she’s happy.

I miss the feel of her arms around me and my arms firmly around her.

I miss the way her body molds against mine while we’re falling asleep, and the noises she makes while we’re making love.

Avery is what I want tonight, tomorrow, and forever.

It’s time I tell her and show her. I’m done sitting back and waiting.

It’s time to take action and beg for forgiveness because I am definitely not above a little begging at this point.

The time has come that I tell her how much I love her, and hopefully, when I’m done laying my heart out in front of her, she won’t hand it back to me in shattered pieces.

*****

After my run on Friday night, I decide to shower and head to the store.

I haven’t really shopped in almost three weeks, either just stopping in and grabbing necessities or ordering takeout on my way home.

As I’m heading to the store, I see a familiar old truck parked in front of Jack’s.

It’s still a little early for the Friday night crowd so there’s plenty of parking around our regular hang-out.

Without giving it too much thought, I whip into a spot behind Jake’s truck and head inside.

When I break the threshold, I see James and a few others in the back by our pool table.

No Jake. When I scan the bar area, I finally spot him sitting on a stool, talking to old man Jack at the end of the bar.

He’s in the farthest seat from the door.

Before I can chicken out, I head over and sit in the empty seat to his left.

“Hey, Jack. Slow night?”

“Eh, it’s still early,” he says as he slides a draft beer in front of me. Jack gives me an encouraging little nod and walks over to the other side of the bar to help other patrons.

“What are you doing here?” Jake says without looking up from his mug of beer.

“Saw your truck and thought I’d stop in.” We don’t say anything for a few minutes, both of us drinking our beers while I try to figure out what to say. Since he hasn’t gotten up and walked away yet or thrown me off my stool, I decide to take a shot at fixing our broken friendship.

“You know, Jake, I never wanted to hurt you.” He doesn’t say anything, so I decide to forge ahead.

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but your sister means more to me than anyone ever has.

I tried to fight my attraction to her for a while, but there’s just something about her.

I’m drawn to her. And I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt her. ”

“Sounds like you already did.”

I let out a long sigh. He’s right and it kills me to know I’m the reason she’s hurting. “Yeah, I did. I walked away from her instead of fighting for her because I was hurt and afraid. That’s on me, and I regret it more than anything.”

“Why’d you do it? Why’d you walk, man?” Jake spins to his left and is looking me in the eyes for the first time in weeks .

“Because I was pissed. She assumed I was seeing someone else the entire time I was dating her. It pissed me off she didn’t trust me enough to just ask me without jumping to conclusions.

But more than being pissed, I was scared.

Scared if I actually put my heart out there and followed through with what I was feeling for her that she’d throw it back in my face. ”

“She deserves someone who will fight for her and love her and Bean. Someone who won’t walk away when things get tough. She deserves better than you.”

I look down at my beer again. “I know she does. But she makes me a better man, and I want to be that man for her. I want to be the guy she deserves. I know I can be because I can’t picture my life without her in it.”

“Do you love her?”

I look up at Jake and stare straight into eyes that are the same crystal-blue color as Avery’s. “More than I ever thought possible to love someone.”

Jake stares back at me for a few moments, not wavering or letting on to what is going through his head.

After several of the longest seconds of my life, he finally reaches his right hand out and holds it halfway between us.

I look down at his extended hand and put my hand in his, shaking it a few times.

He smiles at me for the first time in weeks and says, “Then go get your girl, Mad. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for her and Bean.

Someone who is going to love them and take care of them. ”

“I want to be that guy, Jake.”

He drops my hand and reaches for his beer, “Good. And if you ever make her fucking cry again, I’ll do more than bruise up your pretty-boy face.” He smiles as he takes another drink.

I laugh. “Yeah, well if I ever do that again, you can beat the shit out of me again, and I won’t fight you.”

“So, have you seen her?” Jake asks.

“No. I drove by a couple of times and wanted to pull in, but I knew I needed to get all my shit together before I did. I was hoping to call her maybe this weekend.”

“We’re working all weekend. And besides, Mom mentioned when I was at the bakery today that Bean’s got that cough again.”

I spin on my stool to look at him. “Brooklyn’s sick again? Does she have another fever?” I ask, my voice full of concern .

“Yeah, I guess. Mom said Avery was off again today, trying to get her in to the doctor. I haven’t heard how it went though. I guess Mom and Will are both taking turns going over to her house to help with Bean so she can get a little work in.”

“Have you talked to Avery yet?”

“Yeah, I ran into her at the bakery earlier in the week. She wouldn’t let me leave without fighting it out. Gave all the customers a good show,” Jake says with a chuckle. “Stubborn-ass woman. I have no clue where she gets it from.”

“Right, no clue, huh?”

“None. Wait, I think she gets it from Nate.” We both laugh at that, and for the first time in weeks, I have my best friend back.

We sit on the barstools for another hour and a half, not drinking any more because we both work this weekend but talking about everything we’ve missed in each other’s lives over the past few weeks.

When I head home that night, I feel lighter than I have in weeks. I have made amends with one person, and now I just have one more, the most important one, to go.

**** *

Jake and I are cruising down Main Street on Sunday afternoon when his phone rings. “Hey, Mom. What’s up?”

“Really?” he says, concern etched in his voice.

“What are they thinking?” He listens to his mom for a bit.

“Okay. Well, keep me posted. I’m on until nine, but I can be there as soon as I’m off.

” More silence. “No, I’m not driving while I talk on the phone.

Maddox is driving.” He laughs. “Okay, I’ll tell him. Bye.”

Jake drops his phone back in his shirt pocket and says, “Mom says you’re invited to dinner on Thanksgiving.”

“That’s what that call was about? You sounded all concerned at the beginning.”

“No, she mentioned that part at the end. She called to tell me that Avery is taking Brooklyn to the emergency room.”

My world stops spinning. My knuckles turn white as I grip the steering wheel, and I have to force air into my lungs. “What do you mean? What’s wrong with her?” I’m nearing panic at the thought of Brooklyn being in the emergency room.