Page 23 of Truly (Peachwood Falls #2)

L aina

Luke doesn’t say a word on the walk to the truck. He opens my door, waits for me to get situated, and then shuts me inside.

I don’t know how to bring this up to him. I don’t want to sound accusatory, like he lied to his parents. But he was lying to them, or he’s been lying to me .

For the life of me, I can’t figure out why this is a thing. How can I possibly be caught up in another situation that affects me and I’m totally in the dark?

Why does this keep happening?

Luke climbs in and starts the truck. He doesn’t look at me as he puts it in reverse and backs down the driveway. We hit the road under the cover of darkness, God forbid anyone see me and give me something else to worry about tonight, and head toward his house.

The longer we travel silently, the more time I have to think. It’s uncanny how similar it is to situations with my father when he refuses to explain why everyone around me knows something about me that I don’t.

And I also can’t avoid comparing when I sat with Tom, waiting for an explanation about the Paris photos. Nothing was satisfactory that time either.

My cheeks flush. My chest tightens. I can’t help but be self-conscious, and I hate it .

We’re halfway there before I can’t take it anymore. If I let him, he’ll clearly avoid the discussion. Too bad for him—I won’t.

“What was that back there?” I ask, trying to sound normal and not on the verge of coming out of my skin.

“What do you mean?”

I laugh, the sound tight and twisted. “Please don’t act like I’m a fool.”

“I’m not. Or I don’t mean to.”

“Then answer me.”

“Why are you so upset?” he asks.

My eyes widen. “Short answer? I have trust issues.”

“And you don’t trust me ?”

I don’t want to be mad at him. I really, really don’t. But the more he dances around the question, the harder it is to stay not mad.

“It’s weird,” I say, watching his profile. “I do trust you. You’re one of the few people in this world I trust, and you know this. You know the shit I’ve gone through with people being shady.”

He regrips the steering wheel.

“So imagine my surprise when your dad says you came to see me in Cleveland like it’s a fact. Only, the thing is that I was there, and you, Luke, were not.”

I pause, allowing him to jump in, but he doesn’t take the opportunity.

“What am I supposed to think?” I ask. “That you lied to your dad? Or did you lie to me? Or is this all a huge misunderstanding, and you’re just acting odd for fun? Because that, your failure to come to Cleveland—or anywhere, really—is what broke us apart.”

He whips his head to mine. “You want to pin that all on me?”

“I called you. You didn’t answer or call me back.

I couldn’t jump on a plane and come home to you, and you knew that.

Anyone in their right mind who wanted to save a relationship would’ve tried, and you, Luke Marshall, didn’t.

” I heave a breath. “I’m not even mad about that.

I don’t want to get sidetracked. I just want to know what you’re hiding from me. ”

My chest is so tight that it’s hard to breathe. Each breath is shaky. I don’t know whether to yell or cry, but I’m scared, and my emotions are building.

And I’ve put my trust in him. Please don’t break it.

“Okay,” he says, turning onto his road. “I did fly to Cleveland to see you.”

My jaw drops.

“You were amazing, Laina,” he says, shaking his head like he’s reliving the experience. “I’d never seen anything like it. You owned the stage and every person in attendance. It was incredible.” He looks at me. “ You were incredible.”

Tears flood my eyes.

“I was so fucking proud of you,” he says, smiling sadly. “I was a fanboy in the crowd, wanting to tell everyone you were my girl. But I knew they wouldn’t believe me. Look at you … and look at me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were there? I don’t understand.”

“I didn’t tell you I was coming because I wanted to surprise you. I had this big, stupid idea that I would find you after the show and tell you that I couldn’t live without you and that we’d figure out how to make things work.”

I cover my mouth with my hand.

He did come for me .

Luke lowers the speed as we hit the gravel and takes the bend slowly.

The sky is jet-black and starless. This far from town, there are no streetlights, and the only thing you can see is wherever the headlights shine. It seems fitting.

“It has killed me to hear you say that I didn’t come for you—that I didn’t fight for us,” he says, pulling up the driveway. “Because I did go to you. I did try to make things right. My God, it’s all I ever wanted.”

“Then why didn’t you see me?”

We climb to the top of the hill. He parks the truck and then kills the engine.

“I called you after the concert,” he says warily. “Your dad answered your phone.”

My spirits sink. A bitter taste rises from my stomach, and I nearly gag.

“He had me come backstage.” Luke stares at the house—not at me.

“So I did. Your dad met me at a certain place, and I knew immediately something was wrong. He led me down a hallway and then cracked open a door.” A faint smile settles on his lips.

“You were sitting on a couch with a handful of girls and guys living the dream. You looked so happy. I couldn’t take that away from you. ”

I swallow past a lump in my throat. “But I wasn’t happy, Luke.

I was playing a part. When you’re on stage performing, you’re not Laina Kelley, the girl from Indiana who used to have a lemonade stand every summer and charged fifty cents a cup.

You become someone else, a caricature, almost. That stadium full of screaming fans?

They’re not there to support me . They’re there to sell the Laina Kelley, the woman who never has bad days.

The one who always smiles. The one with the perfectly curated answer to every question because no one is allowed to ask her questions unless they’re submitted beforehand and cleared. ”

Irritation gets the best of me, and I get out of the truck.

“Why are you mad?” he asks, meeting me at the porch.

“Because …” I calm myself. I don’t want to make this worse. I don’t want to blow it up into something I’ll regret in the morning. “You realize you stripped me of being happy, right?”

“I wasn’t happy either.”

“But you decided that for yourself. You’re allowed to do that. But why does every fucking person in my life think I can’t decide those things for myself?”

My voice is entirely too loud for the conversation, but it’s get loud or cry.

“Just to be clear,” he says, narrowing his eyes. “I didn’t break my own damn heart to hurt you. I was young. Naive. Foolish. What do you want me to say? When your dad told me that you were contemplating a world tour but wouldn’t do it if I came back into your life?—”

“ What ?”

Luke takes a step back.

“You and my father discussed what you thought was best for me?” I ask so calmly that Luke puts even more space between us. Smart man. “Oh, my gosh. You had your own little clandestine deal going behind the scenes, and I didn’t even know.”

“Laina—”

“Why am I surprised?” I laugh at myself. “Why did I think that you were above that? Because I did. I didn’t think there was a chance in hell that you would team up with my father?—”

“That’s not what happened.”

I square my shoulders to his. “Did you or did you not have a conversation with him in which the sole purpose was to decide my future?”

He looks at the ground.

“Dammit, Luke. Why does everyone think they get to speak for me? Think for me? Why does everyone assume that someone else can handle me better than I can handle myself?”

“It wasn’t like that, Laina. Not for me.” He whips his face to mine, his eyes blazing. “Please listen to me for a second.”

“Why have you never told me this? Why did I have to hear it from your dad?”

“I started to tell you a hundred times, but I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire.”

I pace a circle, trying to relieve some of the energy looking for an escape.

“There were so many days, weeks, and even months when I dissected everything about myself,” I say. “You were my best friend, my confidant. And I was in this new and exciting world and just wanted you with me. I needed you, Luke.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I had a new experience and wanted to share it with you every day. And so many times, I was lonely and scared, holed up in a hotel room with no one to talk to. And I called you, and you didn’t answer.”

“I live with that regret every day of my life.”

“It’s even more than that. I wanted to share your wins and be there for you when you needed me. I wanted to hear about your job and listen to your stories. Gosh, I missed your stories. And you just ripped it away from me because someone told you to?”

I scrub my face with my hands, wishing we hadn’t gone to Maggie’s. I hate that I didn’t know any of this. That, once again, I was ignored. My feelings, my heart was ignored. These men are supposed to love me. Not crush me.

“What else is there I don’t know? Are there more secrets swimming around out there that someone decided I didn’t need to know?”

His jaw sets. “Yeah. There is.”

I was only kidding. I was being a dick. I didn’t expect there to be more.

“Troy Castelli has been here since you arrived,” Luke deadpans.

“You have to be fucking kidding me.”

“He showed up the next morning and told me your label dispatched him. He said there were threats to your life, ones you may not take seriously, so I shouldn’t tell you.”

I gasp. “You’re one of them.”

“What?”

“ You . You’re just one of them.”

He laughs menacingly. “You know what? You’re going too far. I understand you’re pissed, but do not act like I’m out to hurt you. That’s not fair.”

“You wanna know what’s not fair?”

“I know, I know,” he says, his voice carrying on the wind.

“Why don’t you stop for one minute and think this through?

I know people have put you through some shit, Laina.

I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for not being there for you.

You have absolutely no idea what I’d do to go back and change it.

To realize then the games being played that I was too naive even to comprehend.

” He takes a step toward me. “ But I can’t, and I wasn’t . ”

I battle tears from falling down my cheeks.

“You’ve been treated so badly by everyone that you expect it,” he says, shaking his head in disbelief. “You know me, Laina. You know how much I fucking love you. You know my heart. Yet when things get hard, you expect me to hurt you .”

Hot, salty rivers flow down my face because he’s right. I expect everyone to hurt me … including him.

It’s not right. I know that. I wish to hell that I didn’t feel this way. But I’m afraid to stop expecting it because what happens when I’m unprepared?

I’ll be crushed.

And I’m the only one I can trust to keep me from being crushed.

He levels his gaze with mine. “I would never hurt you. Not on purpose. And every decision I made was to save you pain. Do you think boarding the flight home from Cleveland was easy without you? It was one of the worst days of my life. But I did it. I broke my heart because I believed it would save yours.”

We stand under the dark sky not as a couple but as two injured hearts shielding ourselves from the other.

“Let’s go inside and get some rest,” he says, dejected. “We can figure this out tomorrow.”

“I’ll take the couch.”

He shakes his head and takes the stairs. “Take the bed. I’m not going to sleep anyway.”

Instead of going to the sofa, he goes right into the kitchen and out the back door. I watch as the light comes on in the barn, and he doesn’t return.

I go upstairs and cry myself to sleep.

It won’t be the first time.

It probably won’t be the last.