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H awk debated calling her a hundred times. He needed to, needed to explain what had really happened. Even if they couldn’t be together, the idea that she’d believed in him, and was questioning everything she’d heard about him, made him love her that much more. He had to make it right with her, even if it didn’t change anything for them. Her faith in him moved him in ways he didn’t understand, driving him to make the call .
Her cautious greeting on the other end nearly made him cry with relief. “ Hello ?”
“Hi, baby.” His voice was gruff, unsure whether or not she would hang up .
“You probably shouldn’t call me that anymore,” she whispered sadly .
“I know, but I wanted to talk to you, to say I’m sorry. I really am. I just… I needed you to know that if I’d known who you were when we first met, I never would have …”
“Never would have what? Saved my life? You’d have let me get shot by those gang guys ?”
“Never.” His voice cracked a little. “I’d never let anything happen to you .”
“You left me here alone, dealing with your mess .”
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea we’d been seen. No one ever pays attention to me when I’m in Hawaii. I don’t know why…” His voice trailed off. “Shit. My stepfather .”
“Your stepfather ?”
“It’s a long story, but he’s been mad ever since I joined the NHL instead of going to college. I told you I went to my parents’ house when I first got down there. Instead of support, I got a huge I-told-you-so, telling me what a horrible human being I am and how this never would have happened if I’d gone to college and joined the family business. I walked out and he was still yelling about how ungrateful I am… I guess this was his revenge, telling the press where I was .”
“Why would he do that ?”
“Like I said, he’s pissed that he took me under his wing and taught me everything he knows about cars—which is a lot, I have to say—and I thumbed my nose at him to play hockey .”
“You can’t play hockey forever… Couldn’t you invest in his business and then join him when you retire ?”
He chuckled, loving that even in the middle of this crisis they thought alike. “Yeah, I tried to tell him that but I gave him a check for $25,000 a couple years ago and he tore it up. Said he’d rather go bankrupt than take money from me .”
“I’m sorry, Garrett .”
“We got off track here—this phone call isn’t about me. I wanted to make sure you were okay...clear up a few things .”
“Like?”
“This doesn’t change anything—we still can’t be together—but I couldn’t stand the thought of you believing I was capable of saying something so ugly .”
“I don’t know your side of the story .”
“I know .”
“Well, are you going to tell me ?”
He didn’t say anything, merely waited as she grappled with his silence .
“Is this really too much to ask? After all you’ve put me through, you can’t even be honest with me?” She sounded so sad, it hurt him to listen to the pain in her voice .
“I am,” he whispered, willing her to understand, to know his heart as well as he thought she did. He couldn’t spell it out; she needed to know instinctively that he was innocent .
“Garrett?” She sounded miserable, her voice quavering a little .
“Honey. Listen to what I’m saying. Please .”
She was silent now too, the only sound coming from her strained breathing. “You haven’t said anything… Wait, are you trying to tell me that you actually didn’t… say anything ?”
He closed his eyes, so much emotion coursing through him he wasn’t sure he could speak. Not only did she know his heart, she trusted him. She’d basically been presented with proof of his guilt and she’d still questioned it. She had his back more than even his parents did, and that meant everything to him. How the hell could he live without her now that he’d found something so special with her ?
“I don’t understand! The linesman said he heard you, that’s why you got such a harsh suspension and fine, because it was right in front of him… Garrett, tell me what happened. Please .”
“It wasn’t me who said it .”
“It was that guy next to you—I saw the video—what’s his name? Cucumber ?!”
He snorted. “Culkin. Roger Culkin .”
“Then why are you taking the blame?” she demanded. “Why are you letting this moron get off scot-free while you’re in trouble ?”
He blew out a breath. “It’s really complicated. The dynamic in the locker room is based on trust. If I give him up, no one will ever trust me. You don’t do that to a teammate. You just—ask your brother. Ask him about the locker room bond. And tell him I’m sorry, that I’d never, ever say something so hateful. I have nothing but respect for him and Viggo, and I hope he understands why I have to keep quiet .”
“ Garrett! ” Her voice broke as fresh tears were unleashed in a torrent of sobs that had her crying so hard she couldn’t speak .
“Aw, baby, don’t…” He spoke gently, his voice as filled with pain as hers. “Please don’t cry. I just needed you to know the truth—I had to make sure you knew I’m not that kind of man, that I care about your brother, that he really was my friend… Please don’t cry .”
“I need you,” she sobbed. “I need you here—I can’t do this by myself again, facing the press, hounding me at work, my apartment… I can’t! I had another nightmare last night and I’m so nauseous I can’t eat and I. NEED. YOU!” By the end she was shouting through her tears, hiccupping .
“Shh.” He dropped his voice a couple of octaves, hoping it soothed her frayed nerves. “You’re okay. I’m going to take care of it and I’ll make sure the press leaves you alone. I can’t come back to Hawaii right now, but — ”
“You have to. Dammit, I said I need you !”
“Honey…”
“Are you mine, Garrett ?”
“Always.”
“Am I yours ?”
“You know you are .”
“Is there a really obnoxious bruise on your right shoulder ?”
He couldn’t help it; he chuckled. “Yeah. There is .”
“Then get your ass on a plane and come back to me .”
He sighed heavily, opening a new tab on his laptop and pulling up the travel site he used .
“What are you doing?” she demanded when he hadn’t answered her .
“I’m online looking for a flight .”
“Oh.” Her voice became a soft whisper .
“You have to think about this, babe… I can be on a flight first thing tomorrow morning, but I don’t know what this is going to change. I can weather the media with you, I can defend you, I can protect you—but in the end, I’m can’t throw Culkin under the bus. Publicly, I’m still going to be the guy who said that horrible stuff about your brother. The media is going to have a field day with you for dating me—not me, but you . The terrible, selfish slut of a sister who doesn’t even care about her poor brother, who almost died. I’m telling you, that’s where it’s going to go if you stay with me .”
“The only opinion that matters to me is Jamie’s, and once I tell him about Roger Cucumber, or whatever the hell his name is—none of this will matter .”
“It will matter to me. I don’t want people saying that kind of thing about the woman I love .”
She caught her breath. “Did you just say you love me ?”
“Aw, come on—all that romantic nonsense was a little too intense to be simple pillow talk, don’t you think ?”
She sniffled. “I hope so .”
“Listen, I have a call coming up with my agent, and if I’m coming back to Hawaii tomorrow, I have a bunch of stuff to do. Can you lay low until I get there, okay ?”
“I will .”
“Think about what I said, Maddie. You’re going to wind up getting hurt— again —if you choose me .”
“You don’t know me as well as I know you, I guess .”
He paused in confusion. “What does that mean? Maddie ?”
She hesitated. “You’re really coming back, right? Do you promise ?”
“I promise .”
“I’ll see you soon then .”