Page 53 of Tribute Act

“But if you understood—”

“Mum,” I snapped. “He said no!”

Her expression was wounded, and I added more gently, “You can’t expect him to listen to this. Not if he doesn’t want to.”

She sighed, clearly defeated. “I know. I’m sorry.” She looked back at Mack. “I know you feel he left you behind, and I can only imagine how hard that was for you, but you deserve to know that it’s not that he wasn’t thinking about you all those years, and regretting his actions. Dylan, love, no one has regrets like your dad, but when anything comes up about emotions or feelings, he clams up. It’s like he thinks if he lets himself feel . . .” She shook her head helplessly.

“Like he won’t be able to push the feelings back inside,” Mack finished for her. “Like maybe if he starts, he’ll completely lose it.”

Mum blinked at him, seeming surprised. “Yes,” she said. “I think that’s it.”

I studied Mack, wondering what had prompted those words. If they described how he felt himself, or if that was how he saw his dad. Maybe it was both.

Mack sighed and rubbed a weary hand over the back of his neck. “I don’t know what you want me to do here.”

Mum said, “Just talk to him. Tell him how you feel.”

He laughed. “Tell him how I feel? Christ, Lorraine, you don’t ask much do you? I mean, Jesus, I already donated half my fucking liver to your kid! Now you want me to cut my heart out and hand it to that old bastard on a plate? No. For fuck’s sake!”

He got to his feet and paced away to the window. I wanted to help him, but I wasn’t sure there was anything I could do. So I stayed where I was, leaning against the wall, watching.

“You do feel something,” Mum persisted.

He whirled around to face her, eyes blazing. “Feel something? Yeah, I feel something! I feel abandoned by him. I feel angry that the moment he met you lot he forgot all about me!” He swept his arm in my direction. “I feel resentful that he was more of a dad to Nathan than he ever was to me!”

I swallowed against a lump in my throat and looked away, guilt and misery churning in me. In that moment, I felt his resentment like a wave crashing down on me. He must hate me. Hate all of us.

“Nathan—” Mack’s voice was hoarse, pleading, and when I glanced at him, his expression was raw and naked, every bit of his mask ripped away.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t resent you.”

“You should. I would.”

His gaze was bleak. “It’s not your fault. I know that.”

“It’s not yours either,” I pointed out, because I had a feeling that, deep down, Mack thought that maybe it was. Or at least that Derek hadn’t come back because Mack hadn’t been worth the bother.

Mum stood up then. I’d almost forgotten she was here.

“I’m sorry I upset you, love,” she told Mack, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. “I’ll give you some peace to think. Just please remember: the only reason I’m saying this at all is because I desperately want us all to be a family. I blame myself for allowing this to go on. Derek insisted it was best to let sleeping dogs lie, but I always knew that wasn’t right. I should’ve insisted he fix things.”

Mack didn’t answer.

“I’ll walk you out,” I told Mum.

I went all the way downstairs with her to the main door that led out onto the street. As we stood there, on the front step, she looked me in the eye and said, “Something’s going on between you two, isn’t it?”

I didn’t bother denying it. She knew me too well. “Yeah.”

For a moment, she didn’t say anything but her expression was concerned.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re stepbrothers.”

“So? It’s not like we grew up together. We only met a few months ago.” I didn’t bother explaining that we’d met before I ever knew who he was.

“I know, but be prepared for people to gossip about it. This is a small town.”