Page 30 of Traitor Witch (The Deadwood #1)

Chapter Thirty

NOSTER

I 've heard this part of the book before.

Any moment now.

Yup. There's Nilsa's scent. Lingering by the door.

I carefully slide down my page marker, remove the wire-and-crystal loop that Val made for me from around my ear and place it on top of the book, and wait.

"Nos?"

"Come in." Does my voice really sound that hoarse?

The door swings open, and her scent floods our cabin properly.

There's caution mixed in with the sweetness this time. Caution, guilt, and a tiny pinch of regret.

And covering it all, a sheen of moisture.

Like she's just bathed.

There's a few beats where we're silent. She's trying to figure out where to begin. I'm bracing myself for an ending she doesn't know is coming.

"You... read?" she asks, after a few long moments .

I tap the little loop Val made me. "The captain created it. I point my finger at the page and this hooks around my ear and reads the words to me."

Valorean has always liked tinkering and inventing. It's a mage thing.

But that's not what she's here to talk about.

I sigh and close the book, setting it aside. "You came here to ask me something."

She moves closer, her scent becoming stronger. The reticence in it is more noticeable now.

"You know everything already, don't you?"

"I don't like these games," I whisper. "People trying to figure out what I have and haven't seen. Yes. I know you went into the hold. I know what you found. You want to know why."

"Fae dust, I understand..."

My beast stirs at her anger, demanding I fix it. He doesn't accept what we've seen.

"The captain takes care of his crew. Always. That's the only answer I can give you."

She stiffens, putting two and two together quickly. Our fierce, smart, wonderful mate.

"She's blackmailing you."

I don't speak. The geas ensures I can't say anything that might break the fae-bound bargain. Even now, almost two decades later, the magic is as strong as it's ever been. Even Kier, the fae who was forced to witness the bargain, can't break it.

Only the Queen can.

We can't kill her, harm her, or betray her. She owns our contract and we're bound to serve, eternally.

Queen Catherine has all the pieces... for now.

"That isn't right. The temples should have—"

"You honestly believe the temples in Cawshome are any better off than those in Ilyani?"

She's upset now. The change in her scent is subtle, but unmistakable.

"How did she...? Why would she even...?"

I grimace. “We caught her interest when Val burned down an illegal shifter circus operating at her discretion." I know I'm oversimplifying the whole situation, but the fae bargain prevents me from telling Nilsa exactly what the Eagle wanted with the gruesome place. "She sent her entire fleet against us. They boarded us, and her men started dragging Val off of the Deadwood ."

A death sentence to a bond mage.

He passed out just a few feet from his ship.

I couldn't see it, but I remember hearing the thud.

"We agreed to her terms—"

My air cuts off, stealing my words and making me choke. Nilsa moves closer but I hold up a hand between us.

"I'm fine... I just can't say some stuff."

But Nilsa understands. "Kier was there, wasn't he? She trapped you in a fae bargain."

I nod.

"How has she gotten away with this? Someone has to know about it. The sirens must know. What is she even doing with them?"

"It is what it is," I whisper. "We cannot change the past."

Nilsa gives an angry huff, but she doesn't push me.

"We're nearly at Idos." I'm no good at changing topics, but my mate doesn't mind. "What will you do when you get there?"

"I have my duty." The sound of her voice drifts further away from me, until I think she must be directly in front of my bookshelves. "Avenge my High Priestess and then maybe they'll let me return home."

Goddess, the longing in that single word .

"You could find a new home."

She chuckles, but there's no humour in the sound. "Nos, don't pretend you don't know what I am. Places an assassin can call home are few and far between."

"Maybe a ship full of pirates is one of those places," I argue, pushing out of my seat. "You fit here."

She sighs, long and sad, but it's all the sound I need to pinpoint where she is. "No one else even knows who I really am."

"Then tell them. Most of them have guessed something is up. Goddess, I think Val would be relieved to know you're hiding something and he's not going mad."

"He'll hate me for it."

"Maybe at first," I acknowledge. "But Val only really hates mages, so he'll come around, eventually. He'll never admit it, but he likes arguing with you. Rysen will just be relieved that he doesn't have to be so terrified of hurting you anymore."

"It won't go down well."

"If you're so sure, tell them as you leave," I shrug. "If they hate you, you'll never have to come back, and if not, you'll know you're still welcome."

"Maybe I will."

"Before you go, I wanted to ask you something."

She instantly stiffens, her scent turning curious, but still wary.

"What is it?"

"Would you want to stay, if you could? If your duty and our secrets weren't an issue, would you choose to stay here? With us?"

Goddesses, what I wouldn't give to be able to read her facial expressions right now.

"Maybe." She draws the word out.

My hands hover awkwardly between us. I want to touch her so badly, but at the same time, I'm scared to do so .

But I can't live my life letting her think that I don't want her. Letting her believe that I want her any less than the others.

So I lift my hands, find her arms, and trace them up to her shoulders.

From there, it's pretty easy to lower my lips to meet hers.

It's not a sweet kiss; I need her too much.

I've wanted this for too long to go gently. Years of anticipation are unleashed on her at once. But Nilsa doesn't seem to mind. No. She gives as good as she takes. Hands finding my shoulders and holding on as she moans against me.

My tongue sweeps out, tasting her.

I'm lost. My knees are weak. My beast croons deep in the back of my mind.

My arms wrap around her, pressing her back into the bookcase. Her breasts brush my chest with every breath. Tempting me to take this further. To rip the fabric that separates us.

I've waited decades for my mate.

Every second was worth it.

Her nails bite into my shoulders, the pain the perfect reminder to go gentle. If only for this first time.

I know, later on, she'll match my fire with her own.

I draw back.

"Maybe now, I've given you a reason to stay," I whisper.