Page 55 of Toxic Temptation (Krayev Bratva #1)
VESPER
My body feels like it’s been hit by a freight train.
Four. Hours. That’s how long it’s been since we woke up and started again. We’ve been at this for four solid hours, and I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten how to form coherent thoughts that don’t involve Kovan’s hands on my skin or his tongue between my legs.
My thighs are shaking. My heart won’t stop racing. And I’m definitely going to be walking funny tomorrow, but I can’t bring myself to care.
Because this—whatever this was—has completely rewired my understanding of what sex can be.
I’ve gone years without sex, without any kind of serious intimacy—and then suddenly, in one night, I’m indulging like it’s the last meal I’ll ever have.
I roll off him, my legs wobbling as I stretch out beside him on the rumpled sheets. The soreness settling into my bones feels earned. Deserved, even.
He was not wrong—the man knows his way around a woman’s body. Every time I think I’m done, he manages to coax another toe-curling orgasm out of me.
He eats me out in every imaginable way. He takes me in a dozen different positions, against a dozen different surfaces. He lords his attention over me until he does fulfill his promise: Some time around my fifth orgasm, I do forget about Jeremy Fleming and Carmen Monroe.
Hell, I forget my own damn name.
He’s gotten so deep inside me that it’s rewiring everything—physical, emotional, spiritual. I’m not sure any man has ever been that deep. I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted to have a man that deep.
But with Kovan, all the things I thought I’d be uncomfortable with cease to matter the moment he touches me.
“God, I’m glad I don’t have to show up to work tomorrow.” My eyes bulge as soon as I hear what I just said. “Jesus. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever felt that way.”
Kovan’s laugh is rough, satisfied. “I’m not surprised. That’s how most women feel after a night with me.”
I grab the nearest pillow and launch it at his smug face. “Can we not talk about all the women you’ve slept with before me?”
“Don’t tell me you’re jealous already.”
“I’m not jealous. I’m just not interested in picking up some horrific STD from one of the—” I break off, a gasp swallowing the rest of my words. “Oh my God! We didn’t use protection! Jumping off the bed, I run my hands through my hair. “And I’m not on the pill.”
The color drains from his face. “What?”
“I’m not on the pill,” I repeat, panic clawing at my chest. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit!”
There’s nothing as sobering as reality hitting right after a night of tantric sex with someone completely inappropriate.
I should have known that I couldn’t just do whatever the hell I wanted without immediate consequences.
Who do I think I am—Jeremy Fleming?
He’s looking at me and I feel the need to defend myself. “Stop glaring at me like that. I haven’t had sex in two years. I had no reason to be.” I’m pacing, my hands shaking no matter how hard I try to hold them still. “This is bad. This is really, really bad.”
Kovan sits up, and despite everything, I can’t help but notice how the moonlight cuts across his chest, highlighting every scar, every tattoo, every perfect imperfection.
“What exactly are you worried about?” he asks. “Getting an STD or getting pregnant?”
“Both! Either! Take your pick!”
“I’m clean,” he says simply. “I get tested regularly, and I always use protection.”
I gesture wildly between us. “Except for tonight, apparently!”
“Yeah. Tonight was different.”
Something in his voice makes me stop pacing. “Different how?”
He rakes a hand through his dark hair, looking genuinely rattled for the first time since I’ve known him. “I don’t know. It just was.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only one I’ve got right now.”
The taut silence lingers between us, heavy with things neither of us is brave enough to say.
“How many?” I ask finally.
“How many what?”
“Women. You said there were too many to count.”
He looks away. “There were, once upon a time. But not recently. You’re the first woman I’ve been with since Vitalii died.”
“That was over a year ago.”
“Yeah.”
“So you haven’t?—”
“No.”
That confession startles me. I don’t know what to do with it, so I focus on the practical problem instead.
“I need to get Plan B,” I say.
“We’ll get it once the sun’s up.”
“Okay.” I take a shaky breath. “Okay, that’s something.”
I sink back onto the edge of the bed, suddenly exhausted. The adrenaline is wearing off, leaving me hollow and confused.
“Thank you,” I say quietly. “For tonight. For listening to me about everything. I just needed?—”
“You needed more than a distraction,” he interrupts. “You needed someone to remind you that you’re not alone in this.”
The gentleness in his voice nearly undoes me. “You don’t have to do anything crazy for me, Kovan. I know this is just part of our deal.”
His face darkens. “Right. Our deal.”
And just like that, the warmth between us evaporates.
Because that’s what this is, isn’t it? A business arrangement.
I’m helping him get custody of Luka, and he’s helping me deal with Jeremy.
Everything else—the way he held me, the way he whispered my name, the way my body responded to his like we were made for each other—it’s all just collateral damage.
I pull the sheet tighter around myself, suddenly cold. “I should probably get some actual sleep,” I say.
“Yeah. You should.”
But neither of us moves. We just sit there in the aftermath of something that felt real but apparently wasn’t.
At least not for him.
“Vesper—” he starts, but I cut him off.
“It’s fine. Really. We both got what we needed from this.”
It’s a bitter, empty lie, but it’s easier than admitting the truth—that somewhere in those four hours, I forgot this was supposed to be meaningless. I forgot this wasn’t supposed to change anything.
But it has.
Everything has changed.
And I’m terrified that I’m the only one who feels it.