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“Yeah, but it felt like I was punched in the mouth by a brick.” She brushed her fingers over her full lips, like she was trying to soothe them. “Why was your mouth so hard?”

Weldir’s mist spread out before quickly sucking back in, as discomfiture trickled through him. “Was it? I can soften my form.”

He stopped the physical part of him from pulling in so tight, and pieces of it flaked off to stick to the rest of his body freely. He leaned in closer to try again, and Lindiwe put her palm over his face to stop him. Inadvertently, she poked his left eye, but he felt no pain, as he never did.

“There’s no need. You said this was something you didn’t want.” Then, with her head to the side, she pulled her hand from his face and grumbled, “You even said it was pointless.”

His essence winced at hearing those words said back to him.

Giving himself a reprieve from using his magic to fully form his face, he let his oily self streak across his body like normal. “I admit my words were callous, and I did not give the idea more thought before speaking.”

Lindiwe peeked at him, her eyes slitting mistrustingly for a moment before softening. “Is that your way of apologising?”

“In some way, yes.” He gave her a little space since she brought her gaze to him fully. “Lindiwe... I am an imperfect being that has no experience with any of this. Matehood. Humans. Emotions. Even just sharing a casual conversation is out of the realm of my aptitude.”

“Then why this now?” She offered a mild laugh, but it lacked any humour, then she went on, “It’s been years since we married, or bonded, or whatever it is you call it. And when we spoke of it...”

Weldir had an inclination that his next words would be important and would weigh heavily on this moment.

“You... have sacrificed much for me,” he started slowly. “You may not realise it, but I do wish for you to be content in this bond. This is something you desire, and therefore, I wish to give it.”

Her brows furrowed with a pained emotion, which gave him the impression he was in trouble and had not said the right thing.

“But you won’t enjoy it.” She fidgeted like she often did when embarrassed.

“I didn’t say that.” He didn’t not say it either. “We don’t know until we try.”

He may derive pleasure from it in some way, much in the way he could perceive his emotions. Perceive his world. But yes, largely, this was for her.

I seek for us to form a proper bond, Weldir thought, reaching out with a tendril to push a few of her curls from her eyes. At one point, we had an amicable time when we spoke. I would like that again.

He didn’t want to feel like an outsider with the only person in any existence he was connected to. It never bothered him until her, but he tired of that. Of being alone, totally and utterly, even if he would always remain so.

Because, even with her presence, his lack of true form made anything real entirely impossible.

When she didn’t reply, nor pull away – instead cupping her hands to her chest shyly – Weldir read that as he could continue. This time, when he pulled his physical self to his face, he didn’t yank so tight, so the impacted layers weren’t so hard.

He was slow to lean in this time, being ever watchful of her reaction to know if he should stop. Other than her shoulders turning inwards nervously, Lindiwe didn’t back away even when he pressed his mouth over hers much more gently.

For a moment, they did nothing, and he had no idea how to proceed.

When her head moved but didn’t dip away, revealing she’d done something in return, he realised he had no idea what was going on.

He separated his consciousness from his physical self, and like an out-of-body experience he was all too familiar with, he viewed how his form and surrounding mist interacted with her.

This should help...

January 8 th , 1738

Lindi flinched when his lips touched hers. She closed her eyes, unsure if she wanted to run away or stay.

Her heart felt as though it was beating a million times per second, her stomach fluttering with butterflies. Uncertainty and nervousness skittered beneath the surface of her skin, causing heat to flush throughout her body.

His mouth wasn’t so hard this time, giving under her lips rather than crushing them against her teeth. When it didn’t hurt, and he hadn’t moved, she tentatively brushed her lips over his to instigate more and see what it was like.

He feels like... nothing.

Although she could feel him, his body lacked a temperature. She was glad he wasn’t icy or too hot, but she’d expected some warmth, maybe a little bit of wetness. It was only when their lips locked and moved with each other a few times that her saliva made things slippery, and more enjoyable.

She peeked open her eyes to find his were wide, and she internally screamed before shutting them again. She’d rather just pretend he wasn’t watching her so intently.

But he leaned to make it deeper, and she melted a little.

Okay, so my first kiss kind of sucked, but this is... She almost wanted to moan with how nice it felt, how it pleasurably tingled her lips.

But it was her mind that ran rampant, throwing her images that had plagued her for decades.

She flinched at them, but didn’t push or evade them, letting them play behind her eyelids to help her lean into this.

She parted her lips a little further and wetted his by lightly slipping her tongue forward to taste him – again, nothingness.

Dear lord, am I actually going to have sex? Like actual sex and not some weird, freaky, wriggly little tendril doing its thing?

Her stomach unknotted itself as a pool of warmth began to grow, subtly dripping down until wet heat spread between her thighs. Not unfamiliar with the sensation, Lindi only squirmed due to the anticipation that began to build.

She hated admitting how quickly she caved for this. She’d been wanting to know what it truly felt like for a long time, and she couldn’t believe it was finally happening. Suddenly her anger vanished in the wake of the touch she’d been craving, and the hopeful promise of more.

A little of her loneliness ebbed, and her annoyance about Weldir getting in the way of the friendship she’d been making dissipated with each foray of his mouth. She’d rather this companionship – to reach for the person she was tied to, rather than a total stranger in desperation.

Letting out a raspy moan when her nipples budded against the coarse material of her tunic, Lindi reached out to wrap her arms around his neck. She wanted to cling to him, to deepen their kiss and let him know she was ready for more.

Her arms wrapped around air and fell forward, making her smack her nose and forehead against his. She sucked in a gasp while pulling back to right herself with a struggle as she pushed through his intangible body.

“There is only so much of me right now,” Weldir stated.

Her gaze flicked down to his lips, glistening and wet from her, and it felt naughty. Heat rose in her cheeks when her own felt a little puffier than normal, like they were swelling.

“Try again. I will give you something to hold.”

When glitter shimmered against his chest, but the consistency looked different to the chalkiness of his face, she reached out. Cool hardness met her palm, and it reminded her of the barriers she could cast.

It wasn’t him, not like his face.

He’s trying.

He was making this work, despite the constraints of his abilities and form. She appreciated that more than he’d ever know. She could be disheartened that she was merely touching a magic barrier and not him, but the fact that he was doing this was enough.

She ran her hands up his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. Only when Weldir leaned in did she meet him halfway.

This time, she moaned when his lips gently brushed hers and she instantly deepened the contact. Lindi kissed him hard, trying with all her might to ignore how her heart attempted to betray her by uttering painful truths in her ear she just wanted to disregard for now.

That she didn’t love him, nor truly desire him. That she was touching someone intimately out of curiosity and physical need, rather than because of lust for him. But even if every single little thing about their relationship was fucked up, he was the only person she trusted.

And that trust was superficial at best.

At least she knew he’d never hurt her; that had always been a constant.

M-maybe we can change that. Maybe this could be a start to more.

She wanted that more than anything.

When they kissed for too long, and her body began to painfully thrum for the next step he never took, she pulled back just enough so she could talk. She kept her gaze on his wetted lips to avoid his glossy, pitch-black eyes.

“A-are you going to touch or undress me?” she asked with a raspy, shaky voice.

She didn’t want to seem pathetically needy by stripping on her own. Then again, she was suddenly acutely aware that Weldir was always... naked.

“Do you want me to touch you or undress you, Lindiwe? I cannot do both at the same time,” he said, and she thought she heard the mildest humour in it.

Dear heavens, his sinfully rough voice wrapped around her senses more than ever. She couldn’t help the shiver that cascaded across her skin, causing goosebumps to form in a wild wave. Even her pussy clenched when he said her name.

When his lips tightened, she looked up to greet his gaze just in time to see his brows knit together.

“Would you prefer if I didn’t speak? You always seem to have an adverse reaction to my voice.”

Her eyes widened. “Pardon? No.” She hated that her face flushed with shy heat once more. “I actually like your voice very much. It’s deep, and kind of rich.”

“I... didn’t know that.” Then, parts of his face broke away like ash and collected somewhere else on his body. “You don’t make the truth of your thoughts obvious, and it’s rather infuriating. You should have told me.”