Page 30 of To Dwell in Shadows (Shadows of Aurelia #2)

S elene sat on the Bloodstone Plateau for nearly an hour after the trial had ended, feeling deeply unsettled.

Queen Thema had invited her to join a private post-trial celebration that Lamia had planned, but Selene declined, knowing she wouldn’t be welcome.

Besides, the last thing she felt like doing was celebrating.

Although Sam seemed to have come out of the trial with no lasting damage, watching him get pummeled had been sheer torture. She had felt so alone, so out of place, wincing and gasping while everyone else cheered wildly with each punch thrown.

She brushed dirt from her dress, stirred up by the dust rising from the stadium floor. Clusters of demons still remained, some reenacting fights they had seen, others drinking heavily and singing songs of victory.

“Excuse me. You must be Lady Selene, the princess consort,” a deep voice said.

She looked up to see a huge demon with gray-scaled skin, short black hair, and the physique of a professional wrestler looming over her.

“Yes, that’s me. ”

“My name is Borias. I’m a Vengeance demon who works in the Sanctum with Prince Samael. I just wanted to introduce myself.”

“Oh, hello Borias. It’s nice to meet you.” She was always guarded when meeting new demons, but Sam had spoken highly of Borias, and his dark eyes seemed kind. He was actually a bit handsome, in a rough-edged, brawler kind of way. “Did you enjoy the trial?”

Borias raised one eyebrow, but the rest of his face remained neutral. “I prefer celebrations that include cake.”

Selene couldn’t help but laugh. “So do I.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“To be honest, I hated it. I’m far too human for games like this, I guess.”

Borias smiled, flashing straight white teeth. “If I may also be honest, I didn’t enjoy it either. There’s a time and place for violence, but it shouldn’t be a qualifier to become the king’s champion.”

“I think you’re in the minority here,” Selene said, gesturing to a pair of demons who were simultaneously choking each other.

Borias rolled his eyes. “Being a demon isn’t just about cruelty. When I was in Gaia, there were many demons who left the Underworld because they’d grown tired of those who reveled in pain.”

“You lived in Gaia? When?”

“About three hundred of your years ago.”

Selene’s mouth fell open. “You were around in the 1700s? Where?”

Borias sat beside her and shrugged. “Here and there. I mostly spent time in Europe. A few years in Russia.”

“Did you enjoy your time there?”

“Somewhat. I liked the sunsets.”

“I miss those. I’m probably developing a serious vitamin D deficiency here,” Selene joked. “I never knew demons walked among humans until recently. I actually met a demon in Nashville, where I’m from, once. He said he came to Gaia through a séance.”

“Yes, some demons will take that route when they need a quick escape. What was his name? ”

“Halphas. Or Hal, is what he goes by. Do you know him?”

Borias’s dark eyebrows shot up. “Yes. He was the cavalry officer for the Legion of Temptation’s mounted troops, but he deserted. Did he seem all right?”

“Yes. He was very kind to me.”

“Good. Some demons take to human life well. Others don’t. Do you plan to become a demon yourself?”

“No. We’re just visiting.” Selene gave him a sideways look. “But maybe if I did become one, I wouldn’t be so squeamish about watching people get beat up.”

“Doubtful. I don’t know exactly how it would work, but I imagine traits you have suppressed as being undesirable would rise to the surface. It wouldn’t necessarily make you bloodthirsty or sadistic. You might sprout wings, though.”

“Now, that sounds cool.” Her smiled faltered as darker thoughts drifted by.

“What is it?” Borias asked. “Something grieves you.”

She bit the corner of her lip. “It’s just that… sometimes I feel like I’m holding Sam back. Like maybe I should become a demon so he can stay here longer.”

“But do you want to become a demon? Really want it?”

“No.”

Borias gave her an assessing look. “I know your type. I see it in the Sanctum all the time. Not as one to be punished, but as one whom others manipulate. The ancient word for it is whim-shifter.”

Selene drew back, slightly offended. “What does that mean?”

“You try to be what others need. Reshape and shift yourself to please others, or act as you think they want you to.”

Selene’s face flushed. “That’s exactly what I do,” she said softly. It felt as though Borias had just stripped her naked and paraded her around the stadium with his words. “We call it a people-pleaser in my world.”

“Don’t look so horrified. It’s not always a bad thing. It’s just that in my experience, whim-shifters never get what they truly want. They put forth a lot of effort for little reward.”

Selene gave a small snort. “Tell me about it. So, what’s the remedy?”

“Start pleasing yourself. If you don’t want to be a demon, don’t become one. I’ve never heard Prince Samael say he wished you weren’t human. He seems to love you as you are.”

“He does. He absolutely does. But his parents… ” she trailed off.

“See? There you go again. Forgive me for being so bold, Lady Selene, but you’re trying to shift yourself to please someone else.”

“Good grief,” she said lightly. “Since when are Vengeance demons so perceptive?”

“I’m very wise,” Borias said with a wink. Then he added, “I’ve also seen inside the souls of many humans.”

She rubbed her fingers between the fabric of her dress. “I hate being this way.”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. Your ability to understand others is a strength. In some realms it’s a form of magick, used for gaining secrets, negotiation, and winning favor. You just have to make sure it doesn’t consume you.”

“That’s good advice. Thank you.”

“My pleasure.” He stood and stretched his arms overhead. “I don’t know about you, but all this noise and commotion has me ready to turn in.”

“Yes, that sounds good to me, too. Have a nice night, Borias.”

Borias bid her goodnight, and Selene watched him walk out of the stadium and back toward the palace.

Eventually, she left the stadium as well, thinking about how Borias was the second demon to hold up a mirror to her face and force her to confront the truths she’d been avoiding.

If only it were that easy.