Page 54 of To Cage a Wild Bird (Divided Fates #1)

By the time I reached the infirmary, I had remembered myself—remembered who Vale was.

His mother had killed Gus.

“You’re the Councilor’s son,” I whispered, once Vale laid me on a bed in the infirmary.

His eyes widened, and he looked away for a moment. I wondered if he’d deny it, hoped he’d inexplicably prove me wrong. But

of course, that’s not what happened.

“I am,” he breathed, running a hand through his hair. “But it doesn’t change anything, Little Bird.”

“It changes everything ,” I cried, my hands fisting in the sheets on the bed. “You lied to me.”

I felt like I was drowning, the air too thick to breathe. It filled my lungs, choking me with grief and betrayal.

Or perhaps I was dreaming.

Anything but living in reality.

Vale’s mother stood for everything wrong with Dividium—everything my parents had fought against.

And Councilor Elder had murdered Gus.

I swallowed. “Who else knows about this?”

His silence was all the confirmation I needed.

All of them, then. Yara. Kit. Even Momo.

My heart felt like it was being ripped apart by the betrayal.

“Your mother killed Gus,” I ground out, the words tearing at my throat. “How am I supposed to trust you? Is anything you’ve told me true? What’s the real reason you’re here?”

I held my breath, willing myself to listen to his explanation, hoping his words could offer some sort of redemption. Maybe

all wasn’t as it seemed.

“Everything I’ve told you is true,” Vale insisted, reaching for me. I turned away, wincing as the sudden movement sent a spike

of pain through my head. “I took this position as a way to help people without joining the Collective, just like my father

wanted. But... it didn’t hurt that my mother wanted me here, too.”

I turned back to him, unspeaking.

“She’s grown paranoid. She thinks Coates might be trying to shut her and the Council out of Endlock’s profits. I’m supposed

to listen and report back to her.”

Councilor Elder’s communications. The ones the Collective had wanted me to intercept before Jed was arrested. Now I knew they were letters she’d written to

Vale.

“So you’ve betrayed me and your father’s beliefs?”

He cringed. “No, Raven, no. Of course not. I only give her the barest pieces of information to keep her from becoming suspicious

of me . Only enough so that she continues to believe that I’m supportive of the Council.”

I refused to look at him. I didn’t want to believe him. Hated that I did.

“I’m not like her,” he whispered, his voice catching. “My mother’s a councilor, but my father was a rebel. Why are you more

inclined to believe that I’m like her than him?”

“Then why did you lie?” I hissed, fighting back tears.

“I wish I hadn’t. But I was scared, Raven. I thought you’d hate me. That you’d never trust me, never work with me to get our

friends out of here. It seemed too risky to tell you before we escaped. I swear I was going to.”

And now I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to trust him again.

“I need time,” I told him, shutting my eyes. I didn’t open them again until I heard his booted steps shuffle across the room

and out the door.

Minutes later, Dr. Row entered the infirmary and was surprised to discover I wasn’t dead and but had miraculously survived my treacherous fall into the trench.

Lucky me.

Dr. Row diagnosed me with a concussion based on my feigned unconsciousness on arrival and my lack of responsiveness to her

examination.

Truthfully, I was too numb to answer her questions or follow the path of her finger with my eyes. Hyde knocked on the door,

interrupting us as he escorted an inmate who was shivering and coughing and scratching at their arms into the room.

Dr. Row sent me on my way, mentioning something about a bacterial infection going around the prison that she didn’t want me

to catch.

The guards deposited me in my cell after I begged them to let me skip dinner. The thought of eating and facing the others,

of seeing a red X next to the number 412 on the live screen, made me feel nauseous all over again.

I sat on my cot, looking at my hands resting on my thighs, my fingernails encrusted with dirt from gripping the edge of the

trench, some of them cracked from the force I’d used.

The alarm must have signaled for the others to return to the cellblock because I looked up to see Yara, Kit, Momo, and Jed

waiting at the entrance to my cell.

Yara entered first, sitting on my bed. Jed came to sit on my other side, and Kit and Momo remained by the entrance, staring

at me warily.

It was a long while before I could muster the strength to speak.

I looked down at my hands, inhaling deeply. The scent of iron and rust filled my nose, and I bit back a sob. Was that Gus’s

blood staining my cheek? I had the sudden urge to peel the skin from my bones.

“Is it true?”

Kit was the one to break the silence.

I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut against the tears that were welling up.

“How?” Yara whispered.

My hands formed fists, my fingernails digging sharply into my palms until the sting of it prompted me to speak.

“Larch took some heat after Au— Gus and me embarrassed Councilor Elder and Councilor Baskan when they visited,” I began, my voice so low that Kit and Momo moved

closer to hear. “He had the guards dig more trenches last night and camouflage them, hoping it’d make hunting us easier.”

Yara nodded, encouraging me to continue.

“Vale warned me this morning before the hunt to watch for the trenches, but Gus wasn’t there to hear him because he was getting

his cast checked.”

The others remained silent, staring at me intently.

“I forgot to tell him,” I said, voice catching. Jed placed a hand on my shoulder, and I cleared my throat, fighting against

the tears that pricked the backs of my eyes. “I’d just found out that V—” I stopped, turning and looking at Jed. He stared

back, unflinching, waiting to take on my pain if I’d only let him.

I had to let him.

“I’d just found out that Vale is Councilor Elder’s son. I wasn’t in my right mind, and I completely forgot about Vale’s warning.

The hunters had just been released onto the grounds. Gus was walking ahead of me and fell into one of the trenches.”

Jed’s eyes widened at the revelation, but he didn’t say anything.

Yara leaned closer to me, slipping her hand into mine.

I continued, my voice a whisper. “When he fell, it broke his leg again. Badly. I said I wanted to help get him out, but he

wouldn’t—”

My voice cracked, and I broke off, clearing my throat. Momo’s eyes filled with tears, and I had to look away.

“He knew he was going to die. He wanted to try to kill Councilor Elder. He asked me to help him and then made me promise to

get Momo out of here alive.”

Momo ran from my cell, and Kit stood frozen for a moment before calling out and rushing after him.

But the words were coming fast now; I couldn’t make them stop.

“Gus made a plan to call out to Councilor Elder. I was supposed to hide until she got there and then sneak up and tackle her into the pit so he could kill her. But I was too late. I tackled her as she fired her weapon. But she... she...”

The words wouldn’t come out. I couldn’t say it.

If I said it, it would be real .

“Say it,” Yara whispered, voice rough as sandpaper. “Please.”

I closed my eyes. “She shot him. And then he was gone.”

The words should have tasted bitter. They should have grated along my tongue, clawing at my mouth until they were free and

I was a bleeding mess, the sound of them wreaking as much havoc on my ears as the truth was wreaking on my soul.

Instead, they spilled free like any other words, settling into the air with finality.

Stop it. You don’t deserve to cry. You did this. You forgot to tell him.

“I can’t believe he’s dead.” Yara got to her feet and paced the cell. “He survived this place for years. No one’s as good

as him.”

“I know.” My vision blurred with tears, and my eyes fixed on my hands once more, now twisting in my lap.

“I have to—” Yara let out a choked sob and spun, racing for the cell door. “I have to go.”

Jed lingered until lights out, holding my hand in silence until the guards forced him back to his cell. Soon after, I watched

as they ushered a newly promoted inmate into Gus’s cell.

Like he’d never been there at all.

I lay awake long after the cells were sealed and the lights in the cellblock had been switched off, listening to Momo’s muffled

sobs a few cells down.

Listening to the silence in the cell next to mine, where Gus should have been snoring.

It’s your fault.

It’s your fault.

It’s your fault.

The words flitted through my head over and over. I couldn’t escape them as they mingled with the haunting image of Gus’s unseeing

eyes, searing every detail into my memory.

The following morning in the mess hall, I had no appetite.

I sat as far from Yara, Kit, and Momo as I could at our usual table, angled away from them.

They all bore the signs of grief—bloodshot eyes lined with deep circles.

Shaky hands that could barely grip a utensil long enough to scoop up a mouthful of porridge.

I couldn’t watch, knowing what I’d done. Knowing that this was what it felt like to get close to someone and lose them. That

I could lose all of them .

Jed sat beside me and took my hand under the table, giving it a light squeeze. He didn’t speak. He knew me well enough to

know I didn’t want to talk and that his presence was enough.

I glanced across the room and saw Vale leaning against the wall, purple shadows lining his red-rimmed eyes like the rest of

us.

The other guards probably thought he’d been up late gambling and drinking, but I knew better.