Page 15 of Time After Time

While everyone else dives headfirst into a spirited debate about what neoliberalism actually means, I slip away.

They let me. My family knows I need space aftertoo much togetherness—knows that quiet is how I reset. It’s never personal. I just reach a point where even love becomes noise.

They respect my introversion, even if none of them share it. In a house full of extroverts, that’s its own kind of grace.

I walk softly down the hallway, my footsteps muffled by thick rugs, the sounds of cutlery and conversation fading behind me.

I sit by the window in my room, watching snowflakes melt against the pane. A part of me is preening because Ransom called my analogybrilliant. Maybe I should write that down in my journal, I think caustically…if I journaled, that is.

I close my eyes.

Seeing Ransom again, up close and personal, is having the exact effect I knew it would. It’s destabilizing me.

I used to wonder what was wrong with women who fell in love with emotionally unavailable men (Hello, Carrie Bradshaw)—now, I believe in things likedon’t throw stones when you live in glass houses.

I whimper softly and murmur, “Oh, God! I don’t want to spend thirteen more days watching him adore someone else.”

Maybe I should leave early.

Maybe I should save what remains of me.

Maybe….

It’s a pipe dream.

My family will be hurt if I leave. Freja and Aksel will wonder if it’s because of Mama and Tanya talking about how I look. Aunt Tanya will cry, and Uncle Bob will swear. My mother will feel guilty. Papa will be distraught because Mama is sad, and I’m upset. Freja and Aksel will get into protective mode. It’ll be awholething.

So, I’ll stay and watch Calypso touch my man, and my man touch her.

You know what they say, Ember? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

You know what else they say? What doesn’t kill you gives you unhealthy coping habits.

“Damn it—I should’ve brought along that half bottle of Montrachet,” I groan, flopping onto the bed.

CHAPTER 4

Ransom

“Let’s go into town,” Calypso pleads.

Some of our party are going skiing, which is my plan, but others, including Ember, are heading into town for lunch and the Chamonix-Mont-Blanc Christmas Market.

Before I can tell Calypso that she can go on her own, I hear Ember laugh as she pushes her brother away, who’s doubling over in laughter.

I realize I haven’t heard her laugh—really laugh—around me sinceus.

The first few times I saw her after we ended, she kept her distance, her smiles tight, not reaching her eyes.

Now, there’s none of that residual hurt, and….

That’s a good thing because she and I were never going tolast.

Butit bothers me that she doesn’t think of me any longer, that I’m just a man from her past.

“I’m going to get you when you least see it coming,” Aksel cries out.

“That’s what they all say.” Ember picks up some snow in her gloved hands and makes a ball.