Page 39 of Time After Time (Golden Sands #1)

Sebastian

S he wanted me, and I could feel it in every breath she took, in the way her body shivered, in the heat rising in her cheeks. I needed her, too, that same pull gnawing at me.

I’d be lying if I said the thought hadn’t kept me up at night.

Gen was in my head more than I wanted to admit—her smile, her laugh, the way she’d playfully smack my arm, that scent of hers.

Even the lightest touch from her set something off in me, a kind of longing that left my heart aching and my mind wandering where it shouldn’t.

As I buried my face in the crook of her neck, I bit down on my lip until I tasted blood. This couldn’t be a dream, no matter how surreal it felt.

Thoughts I didn’t want kept pushing their way in, even now. I tried to block them out, but they wouldn’t quit, leaving me feeling raw and exposed.

I just hoped, more than anything, that what had happened—and whatever came next—wouldn’t break the trust between us. Gen had been in my life for as long as I could remember, and the idea of losing her made everything feel like it could fall apart.

We were our own people, with separate worries and dreams. Still, I couldn’t help wondering if she felt the same gut punch at the thought of us drifting apart.

Deep down, I knew my feelings for Gen went beyond friendship. She might only see me as Seb, her best friend. But to me, she was Geneviève St. James. My Gen. My everything. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

Part of me was terrified she didn’t feel the same—that in her eyes, I was just the guy who’d always been there. So I kept pretending I only saw her as my best friend, too, hoping the lie would be enough to keep my heart in check.

“Sebastian?” Gen’s voice broke through the storm of my thoughts, pulling me back to the moment. I suddenly realised my head was still resting against her neck, and most of my weight had shifted onto her.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to keep going,” Gen whispered, but the worry in her voice gave her away. Her fingers, kind on my skin, traced slow circles on my cheek.

I let out a snort, half disbelief, half amusement, as her touch lingered. “If only you knew.”

Her brows pulled together, a crease forming between them as she leaned in. The dim light caught the flicker of curiosity in her widening eyes. She held her breath for half a second, bracing herself. “If only I knew what?”

“How much I want this,” I confessed, my heart racing under the weight of finally openly expressing one of my biggest desires.

But there was more, something deeper that went beyond physical intimacy.

I’d imagined it so many times, even if it played out differently in my mind, in a way that felt more meaningful between us.

Her hands slid to the back of my neck, drawing me in until our lips touched. The intensity of her kiss turned my world upside down. We started off hesitantly, but soon found our rhythm, tilting our heads and figuring out the way our tongues moved together.

Damn , it felt incredible.

I gasped against her lips, overwhelmed by the way her tongue met mine and the heat of her hips pressing against me. I needed to steady myself, so I gripped her hips, pulling her closer to the bed, afraid I might lose myself in the pleasure she was igniting in me.

Gen, however, didn’t care. Her hands slid down to my chest, nails grazing my skin and sending shivers through me. As she teased me, my hips instinctively moved against hers, craving more.

Her fingers traced the edge of my boxers, skimming over the place I had trimmed.

I tensed with anticipation, silently urging her to go further, but she held my gaze, taking her time in easing the fabric down.

When I nodded, she continued until the waistband rested just beneath my butt, revealing my eager arousal.

With my cock now exposed and quivering under her intense gaze, she abandoned my boxers without a second thought. Her hands explored my rear, pulling me closer to her, and in the process, my shaft brushed against her lips, eliciting a mutual groan of desire.

“Fuck.” My eyes had been ensnared in the depths of hers, but the sensation of her hand encircling my hardness snapped my focus downward.

Her touch followed the contours of my length, a drawn-out movement that set my nerves on fire, but I had to stop her.

Impatience surged within me, a primal urge to be closer, to feel her warmth all around me.

“Gen,” I murmured, tearing my gaze from her mesmerising stare to meet her puzzled expression.

She peeked her tongue out, a sign of concentration, and I knew I had to intervene.

“Gen, wait.” I seized her wrist, pulling her gaze back to mine.

“As much as I ache for your touch, I can’t hold back any more.

I need to be inside you.” The moment felt charged, and I could see her reaction—a slight tremor that told me she felt it too.

A hush settled over us.

Once again, time stood still as we held each other’s gaze.

It seemed as though we had both ceased to breathe, our gazes locked in an exchange that conveyed everything that needed to be said.

I shifted, reaching for the box of condoms on the side table, the one I had grabbed at the drug store earlier.

In my eagerness, I nearly slipped off the bed, causing Gen to laugh as she caught my arm, pulling me back onto the mattress.

My free hand shook as I tried to tear open the package, nerves getting the best of me. Gen took it from my unsteady grasp even if her hands trembled just as much, but, unlike me, she was able to open the box, ripping it as the sound invaded the entire room.

Before I could reach for one of the square packets and get comfortable on the bed, she leaned in.

“I want to put it on you,” she said, her voice barely audible.

Her hands still shaking as she unwrapped the condom, but when I brushed my fingers against her cheek, I could see her relax.

With that brief touch, her confidence grew, and she focused on what she was doing.

Her fingers moved with newfound confidence, rolling the condom on, but I hardly noticed. All I could see was her.

I stole a glance at her before pressing my forehead against hers once more, closing my eyes in an attempt to calm the quivering in my chest with a deep breath.

“I’m going to ask once again.” When I opened my eyes, our eyelashes brushed as she met my gaze, her eyes slightly crossed in concentration.

“Are you sure about this? I’m okay with whatever you choose, whatever your decision may be.

” Pulling back slightly, I kissed her. “Even in the moment, if you change your mind, I will stop immediately.”

“I won’t.” Her chin jerked, lips pressing together before parting again, like she was searching for the right words. Was she sure, or was she saying what I wanted to hear? Had I pushed too hard? Was my declaration from the bathroom, my kiss on the beach, or even bringing her here all missteps?

When she said, “I’m scared,” guilt tightened in my chest, like I’d pushed her into something she wasn’t ready for.

“I’m scared because this is new. But I’m tired of having to plan everything and not knowing what I want.

But…” Her eyes shimmered with tears, and I had to blink back my own.

“Yet, I know I want this. Badly.” Her fingers traced my cheeks, guiding me to meet her eyes while I fought the urge to let my tears fall.

“I want this with you, Sebastian. Now, more than ever. I promise.”

I pushed aside her words, determined not to let them pull me into doubt, more than ever …

that was just a way of speaking, yeah. Shaking my head firmly, as if to banish any lingering uncertainty, I mustered the brightest smile I could, my thumb brushing away the single tear that was trailing down her cheek.

Closing the distance between us, I leaned in to kiss her again, savouring every fleeting moment.

I relished the feel of her bottom lip beneath mine, teasing it with nibbles and bites.

A gasp escaped her, parting her lips just enough for me to deepen the kiss, my tongue meeting hers in a heated exchange.

My left hand cradled the side of her jaw, guiding her face upward to maintain the perfect angle for our kiss.

I traced the curve of her neck, my fingers drifting down to where her chest met her ribs.

Each movement was careful, like I was learning the map of her skin.

Her left hand pressed against my chest while her right hand gripped my waist, pulling me closer.

Our bodies shifted together, a slow but growing pressure that seemed to match the beat of our hearts.

As she guided me against her twice, I paused, sensing her need for my hand to help prepare her. I wanted to make this experience as comfortable and pleasurable as possible for her.

Kissing the tip of her nose, I eased my middle finger inside her, moving carefully to ensure she felt good.

She was already moist, her lips glistening with her own arousal, making it effortless for my finger to slip inside her. “You are so wet,” I murmured, eliciting a soft moan from her as she pressed her lips against my neck.

Lost in the sensation of her kisses, I momentarily forgot my task, allowing her to nibble and fiercely kiss my skin.

As my awareness sharpened, I concentrated on what I needed to do. I slipped my ring finger in alongside my middle one, feeling her readiness as I moved gently, the tension around my digits easing with her heightened excitement.

She gasped, her lips abandoning my neck, leaving the area she had ignited with her tongue feeling strangely chilly as the room’s temperature dried it off.

“Does it hurt?” I inquired, concerned. She jerked her head, reassurance evident in her eyes as I began to rotate the motion of my fingers a bit, feeling her walls tighten around my fingertips.