Page 5 of Thruster (Hunted Relics #9)

Kelta never once screamed or cried. She didn't tell me to put her down even when I burned her. I know she's a pilot and lives in the sky like me, but it's her resilience that impresses me most. She knew what she had to do to survive.

Pain reminds us we’re still operating.

I lock my mind so I can think privately as Rebel runs his scanner over my hover pads. His eyes swivel with little laser bars while his tablet pulls up schematics of my engines.

She hugged me…by choice. Why would she do that? I’m a walking burn factory for humans. I even damage Brothers if they get too close.

As I sit on the rock, waiting for Rebel to finish his assessment, I think about her gesture. It means so much and yet changes so little.

I can’t let her get to me.

Rebel frees gravel from several engines in my back, then repairs the panels I’ve dented from the hard landing.

I can’t get used to how large he is compared to his previous size.

"Just say it," Rebel remarks, replacing a reshaped panel in my upper back. "What's on your mind?"

“ How did you take his body?”

Rebel lets out a weighted sigh. "The head unit and cores were destroyed. It had no digibadge. The shell was all that was left. I just put it on like a spacesuit. Then it molded to me. I'm no longer a body inside of a body. This husk has joined with me. There is no difference anymore."

“But how?”

Rebel shrugs. “It responded to me. I’m starting to think the Creators built our bodies to adapt to us as much as we were trained to adapt to their capabilities. Then they matched us by personality for efficiency, not out of necessity.”

I get up, not sure I want to believe him. “You’re saying that I have this body because of whoever I was before this?”

Rebel glances toward the women's quarters, where Poppy talks with Kelta. "Creators knew us in ways we still don't understand. Whoever we were before becoming CyberTitans, we had roles and skills that gave us certain qualifications. I was likely a medic of some kind. You were likely a pilot, maybe a StarJumper."

“What about Commander Savage?”

Rebel shrugs. “Monster types I’m not sure about. There are quite a few that I can’t figure out. But what matters now is that we are still here, still fighting, and we have humans to protect. But I’m less and less inclined to think that is all we are capable of. Since the jailbreak, I’ve seen Brothers do many things not in their designated skill set.”

It’s easier to think I’m just what I am. The more I consider the notion of adapting to a different purpose, the more I fear leaving my decommissioned Brothers’ behind, like I’m dishonoring their memories by betraying what I am…having a life after service that they don’t get that chance to have. It also makes me wonder if I could change enough to have a mate like Rebel, Diesel, Savage, and the others. It makes me want Kelta. But to retrain mid-battle is a very bad idea. I’ll adapt when I’m forced to, not before.

“Am I good to go?”

He steps back and crosses his arms, then looks me over. "Your cyberpsyche is damaged more than your body. But you did a number on yourself this time. Why are you risking permanent damage?"

I get up, not wanting to bring it up again. “You know why.”

Rebel sighs and motions to where Diesel is in the cavern. “Get a charge, and stop pushing yourself to your limits. There will come a time when you will need that reserve energy. I hope you have it when you need it most .”

I rub my head and try not to think about what he's implying. "Diesel's not fueling up on oil or some junk, again. Is he?"

“Rhee won’t let him. She makes sure he has good fuel.”

Noticing Taline watching from a tunnel, I tilt my head in her direction. “I’ll get back to work. Looks like your mate needs you.”

Rebel’s posture softens as if the very sight of her comforts him. I desperately want to know what that’s like.

As I walk away, Taline jumps into Rebel’s arms and kisses him with force. I want what they have, what Diesel and Rhee have, Savage and Leah, Amp and Cara, and so many others since the females fell in escape pods to Ellipsis’ surface from the motherships above.

I cannot touch humans.

And yet it’s all I can think about: Kelta’s soft skin in my hands, her curvy body against mine, the way she fought back even when she was injured.

I’ve stared at her for hours now, through her surgery and until she awoke. She fights hard even though she is alone, separated from her family, unsure if they are still alive out there somewhere. I want to understand her conviction. I fight because I’m programmed to, but I feel like I’m just going through the motions most of the time.

I want to stop and check on her again, but it isn’t fair to have Holo patrolling the sky alone in a ship.

Diesel doesn’t even ask as I approach him. He keeps talking with Rhee and the other Titans and females seated on rocks around him. I stand outside their circle in a shadow as Diesel pulls a charge cable from his body and connects to a port in mine.

His generators spool up more powerful thanks to the new core and ultromotor upgrades his mate gave him. I hate that I need power from him. But a slow charge in the sun will take days for the kind of flight I do in a few hours.

I can't bring myself to eat much. I haven't had more than a few scraps a day since we crash-landed here. There's too much regret and grief in the way.

I should’ve been fighting for my Brothers, saving who I could, taking down Skysprinters. Something. Anything so fewer of our kind would’ve died.

“Thruster.” Diesel stands before me, encouraging me away from the others and into a private corner. My ultro spools in my chest as my body heats from the power Diesel’s dumping into my batteries.

“What is on your mind, Brother?” he asks. “This isn’t like you. You’re usually…happier.”

Diesel is a massive unit, one of the biggest, thicker around the middle than Savage, and taller than Fury with more muscle than even Drillbit. But he has to be indestructible. He’s likely our last charging unit, like I am the last of my kind, and so many of the rest of us.

“I’m fine.”

"No, you're not. Everyone can see it." Diesel squints his green eyes at me. "If you're compromised, we must send others so you can rest."

“No one else can do what I do. Holo is up there while I’m down here, but he should be here with you. I need to get back.”

"I know how that feels, Brother. I do. Being the only one with certain skills is a lot of weight."

I slump against the rock wall. “Yeah.”

Diesel tracks my gaze to Kelta. “Oh.”

“I burned her. It wasn’t on purpose.”

“I heard. Holo messaged.”

Of course, he did. Holo and Diesel were friends long before they were Wrecktanks and then Titans. "I expected to self-decommission. But I didn't. I feel like I should have."

Diesel unclips the charging cable from the port in my side when I’m back to 100 percent. “She’s alive because of you. So she got hurt. She would be food for sand beetles if you hadn’t done anything out of fear of temporary afflictions.”

That’s not it.

“You like her?”

“I lose control around her.”

Diesel leans a burly shoulder against the wall. "Like she's infected you with a virus? Are we talking about some Evo shit? Corrupted?"

I lift my hands, urging him to calm down. "Like she makes me burn too hot. I can't control my engines."

A grin cracks on his face. "You found a mate!"

“What? No! There’s no way this is how that’s supposed to go.”

Diesel grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me. “She fuels you! That’s the sign! I’m happy for you, Broth…”

“Diesel!”

“What?”

“Don’t tell the whole cavern that! I can’t fucking touch her! How can I ever be a good mate for anyone ?”

He pats my shoulders and leans back. “Because mates accept risks for the good parts.” He waggles his brows suggestively. “I heard you torched up when you were carrying her to the cave, more than Holo’s ever seen. That you went engine to engine against a Skysprinter!”

“Yeah, but...”

“Stop thinking about the imperfections of your performance! This war isn’t about polished tactics! You hurting her was an accident. Survival is dirty, messy, and essential if we want to get freedom back for our mates and the other humans. You have to just store that pissed-off energy for later. Figure out which engines to turn off so you don’t hurt her. Practice that.”

“It’s not that easy to turn off years of battle burn in the skies.”

Diesel gives Rhee a sultry look. “You are limited only by your mind, my Brother. If you want to hold her, you will have to learn control. And trust me, that skill will advance the others too.”

He clicks his tongue. “And by the way she’s watching you, I think she’s willing to give you a second chance.”

I track his gaze to Kelta. She hides just inside a cave opening, one eye barely peeking out. I want to talk to her, but I have a job to do. And she’s safer down here with my brothers.

“Keep her safe.”

“Thruster…” Diesel reaches for me. “ Brother .”

I glance back as I hustle away from the camp. “We’re not losing anyone else.”

DieselThruster: We cannot run from what we are. And we cannot crush guilt with our hands. Our Creators designed us to protect them. But the why matters.

I reply as I make my way to the nearest exit shaft. And what’s that?

DieselThruster: There is something humans create and share with one another that binds them more powerfully than any network. It exists when all other systems are down, even beyond decommissioning.

It’s no surprise where he’s going with the conversation. Diesel is different after meeting and mating with Rhee. They all are.

I can’t afford to lose my edge, fall for a female, and let emotional attachment make me vulnerable. But when I look at her, my walls quickly fill with cracks.