Page 32 of Three Girls Gone (Detective Amanda Steele #14)

TWENTY-SEVEN

Katherine’s head was spinning as she drove away from Central. Another little girl was paying the price because of her. All because she just couldn’t leave things alone and let Julie go.

Not just a little girl. Say her name, coward…

“Eloise Maynard.” Katherine spoke out loud and caught herself in the rearview mirror.

Her eyes filled with tears, and a few fell.

She swiped them away. Indignant and angry at the undeserved display of emotion.

As the cause of Eloise’s abduction, she had no right to fall apart.

None. Just as she had no right to be involved in Julie’s case.

She’d given that right away the second she resigned from the NYPD.

And before that when she gave her beautiful baby girl up for adoption.

But how was she supposed to turn her back on her own flesh and blood?

A car horn blasted her from her thoughts. She found herself in the oncoming lane with a pickup barreling straight for her. Cranking the wheel of her Mercedes, she overcorrected, and by some miracle didn’t spill over the curb onto the sidewalk.

That was close!

Her heart pounded as she heaved for breath.

If she went home to her empty house and stared at the walls, she’d go crazy.

But if she didn’t get off the roads, she might kill herself or someone else.

And she already had enough deaths on her conscience.

She pulled over to the side of the road.

She’d give it a few minutes before she decided what to do next and where to go.

If only she’d had the courage to keep Julie all those years ago, but she just couldn’t swing it then.

She couldn’t even face her rapist day in and out at the NYPD, and had slunk away for a few months to have her baby.

It was her shame, and she even kept it from her mother.

A tough feat because she loved that woman and still did.

The veil of death wasn’t strong enough to shatter love.

If so, there would be far less suffering in the world.

For years, Katherine had buried her secret so deeply inside, she could convince herself it was someone else’s story.

Then came Julie Gilbert. Once Katherine pieced together that Julie was her biological daughter, the wound reopened.

She transformed into a mother bear wanting to protect her daughter, but since she was too late for that, she was intent on catching her killer.

But that intention escalated to obsession.

When she was overlooked for a promotion within the NYPD, she saw it as the chance for a fresh start somewhere else.

But that wasn’t the only reason she considered a move.

After her mother was murdered, she needed a change.

It was around this time she saw the position for interim Homicide sergeant with the PWCPD come up, and the posting seemed meant to be.

The location made it possible to connect with her mother’s estranged sister, May Byrd, and build a relationship with her.

But she discovered that geography did nothing to sever her bond to the Gilbert case.

It might even have made it stronger. She rented a storage unit and dedicated that space to finding the person who killed Julie, her Amy .

That’s what she would have named her if she’d kept her.

Aunt May… Her name swept through. She was just one more person who knew nothing about the baby girl she’d given up for adoption. It might be time to confide in her.

Katherine got back on the road and drove to the diner.

The lot was packed, making it a challenge to find an available spot.

To think when she came to the county, she believed it would also give her the chance to simplify and slow down the pace of her life.

The plan was working until she handed in her badge and started full time at her aunt’s cafe.

Then Katherine took it on as a personal mission to expand the business.

She taught herself social media advertising through online courses, and it turned out she was quite good at putting what she’d learned into practice. The diner’s business boomed.

But at what cost?

Katherine swallowed a lump of regret as she pulled into a newly vacated spot.

The energy she’d directed toward Hannah’s Diner had taken her focus away from Julie’s case.

Her daughter’s case. If only she had scaled back some on marketing, Katherine would have had time to pursue the angle she’d started last fall.

It’s my fault that Hailey is dead, and Eloise was snatched from her bed… If not for me, both girls would be alive and safe with their families…

The thought made her want to take further action, not retreat.

But what was she supposed to do? She could endanger yet another child or be sent to jail for interfering with a police investigation.

She didn’t have a badge anymore, and the police chief had made his position clear when he’d had Malone toss her out the door.

The sad part was she could even appreciate it from their viewpoint.

Her phone rang over the car’s speakers, and Amanda’s name came up on the display. She didn’t have the bandwidth for a conversation with her right now. She just had to push forward. She rejected the call, shut her car off, and headed into the diner.

Regulars smiled at her. Her aunt was cashing out an order and looked at her with eyebrows raised in surprise at seeing her.

Katherine had told her she was taking a few days off and Aunt May hadn’t pressed her further.

Since they’d been separated for years, they had started from strangers a short time ago and some boundaries still existed.

But upon seeing her aunt, Katherine realized this was where she needed to be. Another project, another focus, something to distract her from her culpability.

Her eyes burned with a fresh batch of tears, but she took a deep breath and headed behind the counter. She pressed on a smile for her aunt. There was no way she could tell her right now.

“What are you doing here? I thought you said you were taking some time off?”

“If anyone needs that, it’s you.” Katherine admired her aunt’s work ethic and how, even well into her sixties, she was still tireless and dedicated to her diner.

May batted her hand. “Ridiculous.” Then she turned to the next customer. “What can I get for ya today?”

“Let me take care of this, May. Go rest your feet for a few minutes.”

May narrowed her eyes but relented.

Katherine looked at the man across the counter and smiled at the regular. “Let me guess, a large half caf, half decaf with one sugar and a splash of milk?”

The man smiled. “You remembered?”

“Just be a second.” Katherine made up his coffee, appreciating that this task was mundane and took little thought. But because of that, her mind had free space to chastise her.

Julie, Hailey, and now Eloise… They are all my fault.

She jumped and cried out when a splash of hot coffee hit the back of her hand. Cussing under her breath, she popped the lid on the to-go cup and handed over the coffee to the waiting customer. After collecting his money, she sent him off with, “Have a good day.”

He lifted his cup to her as if in a toasting gesture. “Oh, I plan on it.”

The next person in line stepped up to place their order, but Katherine couldn’t stay here. She’d been mistaken to think she could just shut everything off. Maybe if she told her aunt, she’d get some peace.

Katherine turned to another server as they walked behind her.

Hattie Knox, a woman in her fifties, was one of the first employees at the diner when business started taking off.

It looked like she was just returning from break.

“Could you…?” she asked her, the implication being that she take over her line.

“Of course.” Hattie wasted no time helping the next customer.

Katherine headed to the back of the diner in search of Aunt May. This might not be the optimal time and place, but she deserved to know the truth. And if Katherine didn’t tell her now, she feared her secret would burrow between them and suck her soul dry.