Page 9 of Those That Don’t Exist (Hidden Vampires #1)

AURORA

P ushing my way into the dining hall, through the glass door, the buzz of my anxiety rises. It crackles under my skin.

It’s been a couple more weeks and my diet hasn’t improved. I still haven’t told anyone. Coffee has become my main sustenance.

Tonight, however, I wasn't going to get away with not eating.

Following last week's club night, Claire and Bree had declared that once a week we would put in the effort to do something fun together - third year was no joke and all our schedules were insane.

We needed to make sure we got time together.

Unfortunately, tonight's choice was Claire’s suggestion.

It was to hang in the student cafeteria on their weekly pizza and wings night.

I’d just come from the gym, hoping a gruelling workout would trick my body into being hungry, but as I walk through the diner the smell of melted cheese and hot sauce just makes me want to hurl.

It takes me a while to spot Claire and Bree. I scan the multiple long cafeteria tables first, where we usually sit. I know they’re here because they messaged me. Sliding the ring on my thumb as I chew on my bottom lip I’m about to bail when I spot them in a booth on the far side.

The table is completely hidden in pizza boxes, they’ve got enough to feed an army. I slide into the seats with a smile and tell them as much.

“I couldn’t decide. If I’m giving myself a night off, I want everything,” Bree garbles, whilst stuffing the biggest slice of pizza into her mouth. I can’t help but chuckle. Bree meticulously feeds her body for her dancing life, but she goes into full binge mode every once in a while.

Claire, who’s reading something on her phone, starts practically bouncing in her seat, drawing my attention. I give her my attention as I grab a plate and put a slice of the meat feast pizza in front of me.

“They said yes!” she practically bursts. Bree and I shoot confused looks at each other. “My parents, they said yes to the Hallow’s Eve Party!”

“Oh my gods, yes!” Bree drops her pizza back onto the plate before licking her fingers. “This is epic, we need to start planning right now.”

“Yeah that's great Claire.” I genuinely smile. Hallow’s Eve was my favourite holiday. It’s the night the vail fell a millenia ago and the Fae entered our world. Some purer blooded Fae still do the ritualistic celebrations but mostly people use it as an excuse to dress up and party.

Claire’s parents’ house is right here in the city, and large enough for us to host a proper party. It's only a ten minute walk from campus, just across the river.

Her parents were the loveliest couple, and had been friends with my parents. I’d spent some holidays and events with them and my dad growing up. Whilst not blood relatives, they were the closest thing I had to an aunt and uncle.

They’d also been kind enough to let me stay at their house after I got released from the hospital. They’d helped me with all the legal stuff following my dad’s death like renting out the home I didn’t want to sell, along with the shop my dad owned and ran.

“I have to allow David to invite some of his medic friends,” Claire tells us. “But we will still have enough room for loads of people. They said we can decorate and hire a DJ too.”

David is Claire’s older brother. He’s a couple years older and in med school, following his father into the profession.

Bree and I had great fun ribbing Claire over how hot he was.

Whilst I had grown up with the guy he wasn’t technically my relation, I could appreciate his cute looks.

He was also the nicest person you’d ever meet.

“That’s cool, I really don't see how adding a bunch of hot doctors is a negative.” Bree flashes a chagrin smile, knowing how it’ll wind Claire up.

“They’re not doctors yet,” Claire admonishes, giving Bree a playful shove.

“No but they will be. I will need a killer outfit.” Bree replies, righting herself and picking up her pizza again.

I pick at my slice, ripping the crust off and taking small bites, it's like chewing cardboard. I’m working up to ingesting the cheese.

“We should go shopping, I could use a new outfit too,” I suggest.

“Yes, definitely,” Claire says, mouth full of her favourite mushroom pizza. “Are you both free next weekend?” She pulls out her phone to open her calendar.

We agree on the date, then start talking about ideas for costumes.

I play around with my single slice, making it last the whole evening whilst the other two devour an incredible amount of the four pizzas in front of us.

It feels good to be having a normal night, a night where I can forget everything that happened last summer.

I’m just me. As the conversation shifts to the guest list, I can’t help wondering if I should invite the hot guy I keep spotting around campus.

Assuming I’d see him again in the next couple of weeks.

At the gym last week He was looking all sorts of delicious in his workout gear.

Even in long sleeves I noted his arms flexing as he shifted his body on that damn rowing machine.

I swear he laughed when I failed to land a particularly hard kick.

The way his eyes had widened, his blue irises flashing in shock, when I’d shot him a look, confirmed it.

Then he’d bailed out of there quicker than a thief fleeing a crime scene.

I’d been back to the gym at the same time for the following three days, hoping late afternoon was his usual time to workout.

After facing disappointment each time, and getting annoyed with the number of people in the gym at that time, I reverted back to my usual time slots.

If he wasn’t going to be there I wasn’t putting up with working out with half the student body. Or looking that desperate.

“Hey, earth to Rory!” Bree’s hand is waving in my face.

“Oh, sorry.” I snap out of the thoughts of the tall, dark and mysterious stranger.

“Are you ok?” Claire asks.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I give her a weak smile. My friends exchange a look, setting me on edge.

“Listen, I don’t want to pressure you but you’ve barely eaten any of this tonight,” Claire says, gesturing at the food between us.

“What do you mean?” I fake nonchalance, feeling my defenses rising. “I’ve had some pizza. I’ve just been to the gym, so I’m not feeling hungry.”

“You’ve been working out every evening since you got back, that’s more than you used to,” Bree adds.

“Well, I got into it during my physio. It helps my injuries,” I say with more venom than I intended. My hand goes to my ring, spinning it around my thumb, it’s becoming a bit loose now.

“Ok, ok,” she relents, putting her palms up in a surrendering gesture. “We can take the leftovers home for you later.”

“I’m not hungry.” I hear the petulance in my own voice.

“We’re just a little worried. You don’t eat much and you’re working out a lot. Are you sure you’re ok?” Claire presses.

“Don’t I look fine?” I was exasperated now. I knew they’d notice at some point but I’d just got back to being normal.

Claire blows out a long breath. “Yes, you do. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at us, we’re here if you need to talk, ok?”

“Ok,” I reply, but gather my things to slide out of the booth. I don’t want to be here any longer. “I’ll see you back at home.”

“Hey, we didn’t want you to leave,” Bree tries to grab my wrist. “We’ll let it go.”

“Yeah, don’t leave.” Claire looks at me pleadingly, although the worry in her eyes isn’t far from the surface.

I feel like shit for blowing up at them. Maybe this would've been the perfect opportunity to voice my concerns over my eating habits but the walls slammed up in my mind.

I let their words hang in the air before relenting and sitting back down.

The conversation for the rest of the evening stays firmly on other things. I force myself to eat another slice of the pizza. My friends don’t comment but I see the looks they share. They know I’m just placating them.

Later that night I’m jittery, like I need to move to digest the food. It's sitting like lead in my stomach. I’m not trying to sleep, I’m restless on my bed trying to read some articles. No matter which way I contort myself, I’m uncomfortable. I glance at my phone, it’s just after midnight.

Fuck it.

I sneak out of the house, after I ensure Claire and Bree are in their rooms, and fit in another pounding workout at the gym. It's nearly dawn by the time I fall into bed exhausted enough to catch a couple of hours of sleep.

The next couple of days pass in a blur. It’s a little strained with my best friends but they don’t mention food again, and I start to relax around them again. We go back to a near constant stream of messaging, party planning in full swing.

I work harder in the library, getting ahead so I can start taking some time off on the upcoming weekends. I’m even skipping my nightly workout tonight to get this assignment done.

I regret that decision somewhere near dawn the next morning as I wake up with a jolt. Sitting up quickly, clutching my duvet, I scan my surroundings, panting and dizzy.

I’m in my room. Everything is normal, as it should be. Closing my eyes, I focus on steadying my breathing to stop the spots dancing in front of my eyes.

I’d had the nightmare again. I’d replayed my fathers death. Again. It's the most vivid dream I've ever had, maybe because it's a memory.

But the last few times it's shifted perspective. I watch the events from above instead of from my own eyes. I still get the agony through my wrist and arm. I don’t understand it.

Once I’m calm I turn to grab my phone. It's only an hour before my alarm. Giving up on sleeping I try to read, hoping the escapism will help.

It does for a while but my concentration soon wanes, images of the car wreck still plaguing my mind.

Groaning in frustration I throw the book down and decide to get up instead.

In the bathroom I pee, brush my teeth and turn on the shower, setting it to scalding to hopefully ease my tense muscles.

As I undress I catch my reflection in the mirror above the sink unit.

I don’t have my glamour in place, so I’m staring at a gaunt figure. My skin looks dry, stretched tight over increasingly prominent bones.

It’s scary how fast I’m losing weight.

I’m still feeling good though, I broke my record again at the gym yesterday for the weights I’m lifting. So I can’t be as unhealthy as I look.

My hair is limp, the red I love so much looking dull. I run my fingers through it as tears brim in my eyes.

I wish my dad was here to talk too. We’d been close, I wouldn’t have hesitated in confiding in him about this.

After silently sobbing in the shower I dress before returning to my room, glamour back in place.

I pull out some work, getting on with some smaller pieces of research until I hear my best friends moving about. Today is the day we’re going shopping for our Hallow’s Eve outfits.

I’m just finishing my makeup when Claire’s head pops through the open gap in my door.

“Are you ready?” she asks.

“Yep, ready and raring to go,” I say, putting my mascara down. I swing around in the swivel chair and stand.

All my blood seems to drop with gravity into my feet, sending my head spinning.

“Woah, are you ok?” Claire’s worried tone sounds like it's underwater as I sway on unsteady legs.

Her hands grip my shoulders as she steps into the room fully. The dizziness passes after a couple of seconds, although Claire’s perfume hits my nostrils in a sickeningly sweet hit.

“I’m fine now,” I tell her, exhaling. She keeps her hands on to me for a little longer before stepping back. “It was just a head rush,” I say, offering an explanation, not sure if I’m telling her or myself, “I’ve not had any coffee this morning.”

I offer a laugh at her incredulous look.

“Really, I’m ok,” I reassure her before moving about my room to gather my coat and shoving things into a bag. “Let’s go shopping.”