Page 96 of Thorns of Blood

“Moving on,” I parroted without hesitation. “I can’t move on without—”killing her.The Mistress who’d taken so much from me. But I couldn’t utter those words. They were not for the world to hear. “I can’t move on until I get my vengeance.”

Darkness morphed into a house of mirrors, nightmares reflecting and facing me with my demons and sins.

“Why not just seek justice?”

I snickered. “I think we both know justice is a fairytale. But vengeance… it burns and devours. Vengeance satisfies.” I pinned her with a look. “You’ll understand when the time comes to avenge your sister.”

She stilled, fear gathering around her like a thundercloud. “You know something?”

I debated telling her. I couldn’t bear to see the hope in her eyes that she’d find her sister by some miracle—not while images flashed through my mind. The video of a young woman screaming while being tortured. She fought them tooth and nail,yanking that exact chain off her neck before dunking her into a tub filled with clear solution. Then, as if she never existed, her flesh dissolved.

The woman that died in my stead when Santiago decided to give me to Perez. It was to convince the world—and my mother—that I was dead.

“If you do, you have to tell me,” Dr. Freud demanded.

Was it mercy to extinguish that hope? I really didn’t know.

“I know she’s dead,” I finally said quietly, feeling her pain as if it were my own. Hope and despair were at war in her eyes. “I didn’t know who she was, but she was held in one of the Marabella Agreements. Like me.”

The words were spoken and out in the open. It was cowardly not to tell her that I was the one responsible for it all, and so fucking ironic that I and my protégé ended up being victims of it too.

“The man who?—”

“He’s dead,” I whispered, my voice catching.

Her hand flew to her necklace, twisting the pendant with trembling fingers.

“And this? What does this symbol mean?”

For a breath, I considered telling her about The Syndicator and Kian Cortes, but the truth was, I didn’t understand what that organization was about. I’d seen that symbol on Kian, but I’d betrayed him enough. He’d forgiven one offense, he wouldn’t another, regardless of the fact that I saved Amara’s life.

“I’m sorry,” I said, releasing a heavy sigh. “I don’t know anything more.”

She tilted her head, something dark and vengeful flashing in her eyes. Then before my next heartbeat, I watched as a mask slid into place, and I couldn’t help but notice similarities in my coping with trauma to hers.

“Thank you for that.” Her voice was professional and so was her expression. This was what made Dr. Freud a sought-after therapist. The woman could switch on her professional mode remarkably well. A little too well. “Now let’s focus on you.”

“Okay.”

But my sins and responsibilities weighed heavy on my chest, refusing to ease. Her gaze slid to my left hand.

“How come you don’t wear a wedding ring?”

I shrugged. “I don’t like the feel of metal on me.”

“Was it because you were tortured?” I inhaled sharply, sucking in a big gulp of air. Her gaze met mine as she added, “It’s a classic human response.”

“Chains, among other things,” I said coldly, and I watched disgust roll through her. Sometimes I wished I’d lose my memory and forget it all. A clean slate. A new beginning. A normal one. But I wasn’t granted such a reprieve. Instead, I remembered too well how my body had been degraded, how many times I’d screamed and fought, only to be overpowered and beaten into submission.

As if she could read my thoughts, Dr. Freud nodded.

“And have you gotten your vengeance, Liana?”

If she didn’t yet feel the very same hunger for revenge that burned inside me, she would. It would push her until she found her answers, just as it had been pushing me. It had twisted inside me until it stained my soul into something ugly and cruel. But these past few weeks, I’d been doing my best to heal, to discover what I wanted in this life of mine after finally trusting that the other shoe wasn’t about to drop.

And it was all thanks to my husband.

But I still wanted my vengeance. I wanted to find the woman who’d taken everything from me and turned me into this monster. Her death would be the only thing with the ability to end my nightmares and allow me to move on with Giovanni.