Page 19

H ellebore couldn’t have heard that right.

She looked up from the magnifying glass and whipped around to see Haruko in the doorway of her lab. Taiyo was holding the door, looking half-ready to shut it in her face.

“—stay long, you know I wouldn’t ask you to stay long, but you’ve been shut away in here for months now, and they are whispering that you’re afraid. Each whisper of the Moon Elves’ movements or a sighting of a scout has them all in a tizzy. You need to be at this ball.”

Right.

Hellebore had been so isolated from Chymes’ court for the majority of each year over the last decade, she hadn’t even thought twice about any functions she’d be expected to attend as queen. Or that Taiyo would still be required to attend them.

She hadn’t so much as learned the name of a single noble in the months she’d been there.

Taiyo made a strangled noise in his throat. “Tell them I’m sick.”

“And feed into the other rumors that you are deathly ill?”

“Well, are they really rumors if it’s true?”

“Taiyo. Please, they will not stop hounding me about you and your alchemist and what you’re doing hiding her away all hours of the day. Just for a few minutes. Act like everything is fine. Then you can go.”

“I’ll go, but I’m not subjecting Hellebore to their rumors and gossip.”

“That’s exactly what you’ll be doing if she’s not there.”

Hellebore called out, “I’ll go.”

Taiyo whipped around and Haruko raised an eyebrow, like she hadn’t even noticed Hellebore in the shadows, trying to determine if the tincture she’d given the potted iris was actually curing the rot or if she was seeing what she so desperately wanted to.

Taiyo stared at her in stunned silence. Haruko recovered first, clearing her throat and nodding. “Excellent. Then I’ll see both of you tonight. I’ll have your maids prepare you accordingly, alchemist. I’d suggest getting started on that soon.”

“Haruko—” Taiyo started, but she was already gone.

“Don’t worry, Taiyo, it’s just for a night.” Hellebore pulled the glass away from the plant. “Besides, you’re the one who is always getting onto me about not working too much.”

“Technically, it is work, for both of us. And it’s the last thing I would have expected you to volunteer for.”

Hellebore took her gloves off and started for the door, grinning as she ducked under his arm and into the hallway. She tucked her gloves into one of her pouches. “I live to surprise.”

Taiyo followed her out into the hallway, but she was already turning down the hallway, throwing behind her, “See you tonight!”

The second Hellebore arrived back at her room, Phoebe and Elaine were already there, practically bursting with excitement at the chance to do more than just braid her hair or help her into a complicated nightgown.

As Hellebore closed her eyes, letting Phoebe pour water over her head as she washed her hair, she could hear the unspoken question in the air.

Why?

An excellent one. Up until this point, Hellebore had shown no interest in any of the Sun Elves or being part of the court. Why now?

While Phoebe and Elaine were exemplary servants enough to never voice their question, Hellebore knew it was only a matter of hours until she would have to answer it when it came from her husband’s lips.

Her husband…

She blinked past the water still running down her face and looked over at the iris. It sat in its place, soaking up the sunlight. Hellebore had been caring for it as was expected of her, even when no one was watching and when she’d never be allowed to use it.

The only iris she’d ever seen that hadn’t caught the rot.

Even if she failed to cure the rot, would that one iris be enough for her to save Taiyo?

If she did kill the sacred plant to save his life, would he forgive her?

Why did it matter so much to her? When had he started mattering so much to her?

Hellebore focused on the one question she knew she would be asked and could at least answer later.

Phoebe and Elaine fussed over her for hours until everything about her was perfect. As perfect as she could be for a human amongst elves.

Hellebore brushed her hands over the top tier of the full, silk skirt. The peachy-orange sleeves were practically molded to her arms, complementing the gold detailing on the bodice.

She looked over at the Sunrise Iris sitting off by the window.

They were an almost identical match.

“You look beautiful, if I may be so bold, Your Majesty,” Phoebe said, clasping her hands together and beaming.

Hellebore supposed she did. She looked like a Sun Elf, just missing the pointed ears. She looked like she actually belonged there.

Did she?

Before she could examine it or herself further, Phoebe and Elaine were rushing her off to meet Taiyo for their grand entrance.

Taiyo was pacing in front of the doors, ignoring the footmen pointedly watching him as he moved. Hellebore’s breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. He always dressed regally, but ever since stepping back from his duties somewhat to be at Hellebore’s disposal, he’d been dressing a little less formally day to day. Now… he was dressed as only a king should be. His circlet rested on his head, a pristine white suit jacket fitted perfectly to his chest, and on top of it, a Sun Elf style Hellebore had no name for, only that it matched her dress in color and style.

They were a matching set.

They looked like they belonged to each other.

Taiyo paused and looked up at her approach.

His eyes widened and she heard his breath catch audibly as he froze in place, eyes desperately running over her figure.

She resisted the urge to wrap her arms around herself to hide from his intense gaze. Instead, she came up to him, held her arms out and said, “So? Do I make a decent elf?”

Taiyo blinked several times before her words got through to his brain. He stepped back, ducking his head before looking back at her. “You don’t look like an elf.”

Hellebore’s lips started to turn and she looked down at her dress, but before she could reevaluate, a finger came under her jaw and lightly tilted it back up. Taiyo was barely a breath away. He whispered, “You look like a queen, sunshine. My queen.”

“T—Taiyo—” Hellebore didn’t know why she was so out of breath even though she’d done nothing at all. She didn’t know why her voice caught and stuttered over his name or why her cheeks were flushing a brilliant crimson even under the makeup her maids had put on her face.

His thumb brushed her lip for the briefest of seconds before he pulled it back, taking a deep breath and glancing over at the footmen, their eager audience. “We’re ready; open the doors.”

Taiyo looped his arm through hers and Hellebore pushed every confusing, ridiculous feeling away. If she was going to be facing the court for the first time since her wedding, the last thing she needed was any emotions distracting her and putting her in a girlish tizzy.

The next hour was a whirlwind. Everything seemed to blur the second after the herald called out her and Taiyo’s names as they descended the stairs into the ballroom.

She spotted Haruko and her husband across the room, Haruko raising her glass and giving Hellebore a cold but approving nod. Good to know it was possible to get her sister-in-law’s approval.

Then it was noble after noble in front of them, music filling the air, as everyone was eager for a chance to get their claws into their king who’d been mysteriously absent as of late. A few of them were more eager to get their claws into their human queen.

Taiyo never once let go of Hellebore’s arm.

She didn’t know if that was for her sake or his.

What she did know was that she didn’t mind being attached to his side.

Hellebore did notice the instant Taiyo’s condition caught up to him. His tone became more clipped. His grip on Hellebore tightened.

So Hellebore leaned in, cutting the lord off and demanding some water for her parched throat. The lord’s response was only stunned silence until Taiyo cleared his throat. “Your queen has made a request of you. It would be wise to fulfill it.”

The lord scurried off and Hellebore spotted three more vultures moving to take his place. She lowered her voice. “Come on, you need to go. The sun will be setting any moment now, and you need rest.”

Taiyo took in a slow, deep breath, but she could see the frustration in his eyes. “There’s a door to our left. We’ll have to go the long way then.”

If that’s what it took to escape the ballroom and get him back to his room so he could rest. Hellebore took the lead, noting the directions more nobles were coming from and skillfully weaving her and Taiyo through the crowd, dodging any attempts to catch their attention until they were finally through the door and free.

Hellebore immediately grabbed Taiyo by the shoulders and started looking him over. He waved her off. “I’m fine. Just tired, that’s all. I’m not about to keel over right now.”

“You’d better not,” Hellebore said with a huff. She looked around and then put her hands on her hips. “Well, which way?”

He laughed, grabbing her arm and running his fingers down it until he laced them with hers and started walking. “This way. We’ll have to go to the ground floor and go around.”

“Like around outside?”

Taiyo looked over his shoulder and grinned. “Is that a problem?”

“I think some fresh air would do you some good.”

“Probably, but I’ve just spent all night trying to think of ways to get you outside so I can see you and that dress in the sunset.”

Hellebore pulled her hand out of his, rolling her eyes as they started descending the stairs. “At some point, you’ll get tired of all that.”

Taiyo looked back at her even as he continued taking the stairs one by one. “Of you? Never.”

What was the point in arguing with him? She wasn’t even sure what she was really arguing for, only what she was arguing against.

She took a deep breath when they stepped outside the castle, basking in the lingering warmth and glow of the sun as it began to descend. True to his word, Taiyo stopped and stared at her, painted in the pink and orange glow of the sky.

The longer he did, the less the warmth she felt came from the sun and more from the rush that went through her when she had his undivided attention like this.

Finally, he shook his head and started walking, throwing over his shoulder, “Definitely worth it.”

She hurried after him as they wound their way around the castle, passing by and through the public gardens until she spotted a familiar hedge. She grabbed Taiyo’s sleeve and tugged on it. She pointed to it and said, “That’s the iris garden, right?”

Taiyo nodded, coming up to it. He reached in and nudged a few branches to the side, revealing a path into it. “This is a more secret entrance. I’ve let it mostly grow over in the last few years, but I keep just enough of a way through that it still exists. It’s not good for a place to only have one exit. Should an enemy corner someone here, it’s an escape. Hellebore, wait—”

But she was already slipping through, doing her best not to snag her skirts or bodice on the branches. She stepped into the garden and the stench of the rot overwhelmed her all over again without her mask to filter it out.

She turned as Taiyo followed her. She gestured to it and said, “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“I didn’t think it was relevant.”

If both entrances were guarded, but only one was locked with a key…

“Do you think that’s how the Moon Elves got in here and introduced the rot?”

Taiyo gritted his teeth, crossing his arms. “I don’t know.”

Hellebore turned on her heels, looking at the last remaining patch of irises, all on their last legs. They were closer to the main entrance. Taiyo had said the disease had started closer to the main entrance and that patch was one they’d tried to protect.

Why protect that patch, closer to the contagious flowers, rather than the ones farthest away from the disease?

Why—

She whipped around and looked up at the castle. She could hear the music from the ballroom in the distance and it was not helping her think.

She took a deep breath, looking back at the irises. If only one of them was healthy enough for her to be able to use just as a baseline to know if her cure was working on any level. It wasn’t the soil itself, but the roots—

Hellebore let out a yelp as she was swept up in Taiyo’s arms, spun around in the garden as he said, “Dance with me, sunshine.”

“What?” Hellebore clutched his arms until he set her back on her feet, hands on her waist and his face blocking her view of the irises.

“You promised me you didn’t need to work tonight, and we went to our first ball together and didn’t even have the chance to dance. Please, dance with me before the sun finishes setting and I won’t have the energy anymore.”

“Taiyo, if that’s your reasoning, you shouldn’t be dancing at all. You’re just trying to distract me because I started thinking about the irises. We’ll just go back—” Hellebore started to pull out of his grip, but he only wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her closer.

“Just one, Hellebore, please,” Taiyo whispered, and she froze. “I’m not so fragile I can’t dance with my wife once.”

His hand settled on her waist as his other found hers and took the position for a Chymesian dance Hellebore was thankfully passable in. He took the first step and she responded, taking the proper position as she whispered, “Why?”

Taiyo hummed along to the music, eyes locked onto hers as he moved them through the steps perfectly. “Does a husband need a reason to want to dance with his wife?”

She breathed out, unable to look away from him even if she wanted to. “You know that’s not what I’m asking.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re asking, sunshine.”

He lifted his arm for her to twirl under, her skirts fanning out, sending pieces of decay fluttering through the air. The sun continued its vibrant descent, and Hellebore could not pull her gaze away from her husband’s face, practically glowing in the light even as his exhaustion crept in.

He was beautiful, obviously. He was an elf. She’d have to be blind not to notice, and yet, somehow she didn’t think she truly had until now.

What was she asking? And did she really want to know the answer?

If she did, she’d have to respond.

And she still didn’t have a cure for the irises, which meant he was still dying.

“Answer me, now, why did you volunteer so quickly to come to this tonight?” Taiyo murmured, tugging her closer until she was flush against his chest. Her heart hammered against her ribs, and why couldn’t the dreadful organ just beat normally?

Her mouth went dry, but at least she had prepared for this. “I have every intention of doing exactly what I swore I would do. Once I cure the irises and use them to cure you, well, I’ll still have, hopefully, another sixty or so years. If I succeed, we both have a life after this, and I won’t be able to avoid actually being your queen forever. I’m just getting a head start.”

Taiyo’s movements slowed, not ending the dance entirely, but no longer matching the pace of the music in the distance. “So you have been thinking about a future with me.”

“I’m not so short-sighted as to not have even spared a few minutes to realize what happens if I succeed.”

“But even before you knew my life was at stake, you had no interest in building any kind of future of acting as queen, only as my alchemist. What changed?”

Well, she hadn’t prepared an answer to that question. She was silent a few moments, finally able to avert her gaze, ducking it so she stared at his shoulder.

No clever answer came to her lips. No cold justification was hiding deep within her mind.

“I… I don’t know.”

“It’s not a failure to not know,” Taiyo whispered.

Hellebore’s throat tightened and water started welling up in her eyes. She was supposed to know. She was an alchemist; the whole point of her existence was to find answers. The only reason she was there in his arms was so she could give him answers and save his kingdom.

She blinked the tears away and looked back up at him. “You didn’t answer me.”

“I will when you’re ready to hear it.” Taiyo came to a stop, keeping her pressed against him. He lowered his forehead to hers, his breath brushing her cheek. Her heart raced wildly even as his beat a slow, sluggish tempo. His eyes fluttered shut and he breathed in deeply in the final pink rays as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. “Tonight… just let me hold you.”

She could close the distance between them. It would be so easy. His lips were only a breath away from hers. He wanted her to. She could feel it in the slight shake of his arm curled around her back. He desperately wanted her to.

But he wouldn’t do it.

She closed her eyes.

She wanted to.

But she couldn’t do it.

Hellebore took a soft, shaky breath and pulled her head back. Her eyes opened and she reached up, brushing her fingers over Taiyo’s cheek. She whispered, “The sun has set. You’ve overexerted yourself.”

Taiyo nodded without opening his eyes. His hands didn’t leave her.

She had to reach behind herself and gently pull them away so they could leave. She had his hands in hers when he finally opened his eyes.

“I love…” Taiyo’s voice was a broken breath, as faint as the music in the distance. “I love when you wear our clothes and our colors.”

Hellebore dropped his hands. “They’re… They’re just not practical. I’m an alchemist.”

“For now?”

The hope swelling in those two words had Hellebore’s stomach turning.

“I don’t know.”

Why didn’t she know? What was she doing? What was she feeling?

Hellebore and Taiyo made it back to their rooms in the dark. She should have never offered to come to this ball. She should have stayed silent and in the shadows of her lab.

She discarded the ballgown on the floor and started to pull on a nightgown, moving to do the buttons when her eyes flickered over to her iris, glowing dimly and illuminating the room.

She still had several buttons left when she saw it.

A small brown and yellow spot on one of the leaves of her iris.

Her knees hit the ground with a jarring thud as she dropped to them in front of the iris. Her mouth fell open, and a strange half-gasp, half-sob tore out of it before she could contain herself.

The door between their rooms slammed open. “Hellebore?”

But she couldn’t pull her gaze away from the Sunrise Iris, not even as her husband ran into the room. Her fingertips brushed the leaf as her vision blurred with the water spilling over them. “T—Taiyo—”

“What is it? Hellebore, what—” Taiyo rushed through the room, until she saw him freeze in the corner of her eye, catching himself on the bedpost. All he had still on were his trousers, his other finery discarded like hers.

She pulled her shaking hand away lest she do any more damage. A sob started rising again despite her best efforts to push it down. Her hand curled into her chest as she lost the fight against her tears.

His arms were around her once more. He pulled her into his chest, turning her head away from the iris.

“I’m sorry—Taiyo, I didn’t—Please, believe me, I didn’t—”

He clutched her to himself, hand rubbing up and down her spine as he gently shushed her, murmuring, “It’s not your fault, sunshine. I know. You did nothing wrong. It’s alright. I promise. Everything is going to be alright, you’ll see.”

Hellebore couldn’t find any more words; all that came out were wretched, keening sobs as Taiyo started rocking her. She buried her head against his chest, his skin warm against hers. She pressed her ear against his heart, sobbing with every painful, slow beat of his heart as it fought to push his blood through his body.

Was each beat just the seconds counting down until his time ran out?

Was trying to save him as hopeless an endeavor as trying to keep the iris from catching the rot?

Where had this agony come from? Why was the thought of losing him tearing her apart from the inside out?

How was she going to live if she failed to save him?