Page 24 of This Memory (Moose Village #3)

Brystol

It was ten minutes from closing, and I was tempted to lock the door, but I heard the bell above the door ring before I could.

“Crap,” I whispered, as I turned and saw my mother walking toward me. “Oh no.”

“Hi, Nancy!” Nelly said as my mother walked past her.

“Nelly, how are you?”

I turned before I could hear Nelly’s reply. I made a beeline for the back room and prayed my mother wouldn’t follow. No such luck.

“Brystol? Are you free to talk for a moment?”

Oh, how I wanted to tell her no. I loved my mother with my whole heart, but since this entire surrogate thing started, she’d been treating me differently, and I didn’t like it.

Not different bad, just…different. Things felt strange between us.

I’m sure it had to be hard for her to know my first child wasn’t really my child… or her grandchild.

“I’ve got to look up some inventory quick. Can it wait? ”

“Evelyn called me.”

I froze. Closing my eyes, I counted to ten before turning to face her. “Why?”

“She was very upset, and said she did some things she shouldn’t have, and now she’s afraid she ruined her friendship with you. Which I told her was crazy, since you’d agreed to carry a child for her before you’d even birthed your own.”

I sighed. “Mom, I’m not getting into this with you again.”

She held up her hands. “I’m not here to talk about that. I know I wasn’t fully on board at first, but I support you a hundred percent in your decision.”

Surprised, I asked, “You do?”

“Of course I do. I’m your mother, Brystol, and I’m always going to worry about you. I admit I was initially upset, but you’re a grown woman.”

I folded my arms over my chest and regarded her for a moment. “What happened that changed your mind?”

“First, I want you to know I always admired you, even if at the beginning I thought it might be something you wished…later on…that you hadn’t done.”

Frowning, I asked, “Why do you think I’ll regret it?”

My mother walked forward and took my hand in hers.

“You’re very early on in the pregnancy, Brystol, but there will come a moment when you feel that baby move inside of you.

You’ll see a little hand or foot push against your belly…

and you will fall in love. And then reality will hit that she or he isn’t yours to keep.

And that is what I wanted to save you from.

The hurt and disappointment I know you’re going to feel. ”

I squeezed her hand. “When I did the counseling for this, that was something they talked about. Because I hadn’t had my own child yet, I might have those feelings, so I knew that going in, Mom.

I knew all of it, and I still wanted to do this for Evelyn.

Can you imagine wanting a child so desperately, and your body not letting you carry that child?

The heartache, the disappointment, the way I imagine you’d blame yourself.

“I saw how devastated Evelyn was every time she had a miscarriage, and after thinking about this endlessly for a few months, I knew it was something I needed to do. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not worried about my feelings for this baby, but I’m grateful I will always be in their life.”

She gave me a warm smile. “My goodness. You truly are a wonderful woman, daughter, and friend. I’m sorry if I wasn’t fully supportive from the start, but I want you to know that I am now.

You asked what changed my mind, and it was the call from Evelyn.

She broke down in tears and told me everything. ”

I cringed. “Even what I said this morning?”

Nodding, she replied, “Yes. Even the comment about regretting being a surrogate. I know you don’t, sweetheart, and I can understand why you said it in the heat of the moment.

I told Evelyn I thought she was in the wrong, that just because you’re carrying their child, that doesn’t give her the right to tell you what you can and cannot do.

If she trusted you enough to ask for this monumental gift, then she needed to trust you enough to know you would never harm the baby. ”

I threw my arms around my mother and started to cry. I wasn’t even sure where the tears came from, but whatever dam that had been holding them back burst wide open.

Holding onto me, my mother softly told me everything would be okay. When I finally got myself under control, I stepped back. She handed me a tissue she’d taken from her purse .

“Sounds like you needed that.”

I nodded and blew my nose. “Guess so.”

Nelly cleared her throat, and I looked around my mother. “I locked the front door. I was going to sweep up and mop.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I said, wiping my nose again with the tissue.

Nelly smiled. “I don’t mind, and I want to. You’ve been on your feet all day, so just visit with Nancy for a bit.”

I wanted to hug Nelly. My mother turned and said, “Thank you so much, Nelly, darling.”

Nelly beamed under my mother’s praise. “Of course, Mrs. Duggan.”

When she hurried back out front, my mother turned to me. “I like that girl.”

I let out a small laugh. “I do as well.”

“Feel better?”

“Yes,” I said with a nod. “So much better. You don’t know how much it means to me that you’re supporting me, Mom.”

She winked. “I’ll always support you, darling girl.”

I nodded and looked down at the crumpled tissue in my hand. “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Should we sit down?” Mom asked, motioning to two chairs.

Without replying, I walked over and sat. I wouldn’t admit it out loud, but it felt so good to sit. I didn’t feel like a twenty-eight-year-old woman. I felt about fifty years older.

“When did you know you were in love with Dad?”

Her head jerked back in surprise and her eyes widened.

Clearly, she hadn’t been expecting me to ask that question.

“ Oh, well…” She smiled as if enjoying a memory.

“If I’m being honest, I would say the first moment I saw him.

So many people don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do.

I wouldn’t say I was bowled over with the feeling, but there was something different about your father.

Something that made me feel…safe. Seen. If that makes any sense. ”

I thought about the last few months, and how Gavin had been by my side almost every step of the way. He’d been so supportive, and the way he made me feel last night when he made love to me was unlike anything I’d ever felt before in my life.

Even through the years when I’d wanted to hate him, he’d been there for me a time or two.

Like when Bobby Yarning got too touchy-feely at The Muddled Moose one night, and Gavin had stepped in, telling him to leave me alone.

Bobby scoffed about how I wasn’t worth a fight, that I was just another dumb woman—and Gavin lunged forward, fist cocked back.

James had moved in fast to stop him, reminding him that he was a cop who needed to think before he reacted.

I hadn’t understood why he’d gotten so mad at the time, but now it made sense.

“It makes perfect sense.” She tilted her head and smiled. “Does this have anything to do with Gavin Quinn?”

“Aunt Judith?”

Mom rolled her eyes. “You would be correct. She informed me of your growing…friendship. I told her to mind her own business. I swear, I’d punch her in the face if she weren’t my sister.”

I covered my mouth with my hand to keep from laughing. “Mom! ”

“It’s true. She makes life so miserable for poor Hope and Liam.

Did you know that Liam no longer allows Judith to come to the house because she upsets Hope so much when she does?

The poor woman is fighting cancer , and my sister still wants to take jabs at her about how she’s raising her child. It just boils my blood!

“Someone needs to put her in her place, and Lord knows I’ve tried, but she ignores me.

Our mother is probably rolling over in her grave at the things Judith does and says.

And I swear she’s trying to take over Betty Lou’s spot as town gossip.

Apparently, she’ll be writing a column in Moose Happenings .

I told Mayor Browning I thought it was a bad idea, but he said they have to at least give her a chance. ”

I screwed up my face. “That’s going to be a disaster.”

She nodded. “So, tell me about you and Gavin.”

My cheeks heated as I smiled.

“Oh my,” Mom said as she fanned herself. “I can feel the heat coming from those cheeks of yours.”

I laughed. “You already know I had a crush on him in high school. The whole thing back then was forgiven, and we agreed to be friends…but things have progressed.”

Her brows rose. “Do tell.”

“All due respect, Mom…you’re my mother.”

“So?” she replied with a shrug. “I’m also a woman. Is he any good in bed?”

My mouth fell open.

“I hope so, because you’ll need some manly attention during this pregnancy. I can’t remember which month it is that the hormones go crazy. Your poor father. I would practically jump on the man. As a matter of fact, we had sex a lot in the storage room while I was pregnant with you. ”

I felt my stomach lurch. “Mom, please stop.”

She waved me off. “There’s nothing wrong with talking about sex. Oh! You’re going to want to learn some different positions for when you get bigger. And I hope he’s willing to do oral; that’ll be great for when you’re feeling like a beached whale.”

I jumped up from my seat, knocking the chair over. “Mom!”

“What? I’m just being honest with you.”

“You’re talking about Gavin giving me oral sex.”

I heard a strangled sound come from the doorway—and looked over to see Gavin standing there, his face white as a ghost.

“I…I… I don’t know what to do right now.”

My mother stood. “Gavin! What a wonderful surprise. I was just telling Brystol—”

“Please, God, no,” I whispered.

“That the time is going to come when you have to get creative with lovemaking, because her stomach will be in the way. Oral sex is going to be your best friend.”

I looked down at the floor and prayed it would open to swallow me whole.