Page 119 of This Blood That Binds Us

“I didn’t kill him. But believe me, I wanted to...” Zach’s voice shook. “I wanted to kill him for what he did, and I probably would have...if Ezra hadn’t told me not to.”

“And who is this Ezra to you?”

“He was a member of Her guard, but to us, he was like a mentor. He’s the one who helped us escape...that’s how we were able to get all of our fake documents and shit and hide in Blackheart.”

“A member of the Queen’s Guard helped you escape?” William scoffed.

Luke spoke. “It’s true. Ezra was the closest thing to a father figure we had. He helped us a lot.”

“When Luke was shot, he promised they would handle it. They didn’t want Luke and I involved in certain things. The Family worked like a real family. Someone hurt us, we hurt them...what did they do to them?”

“You don’t know?” William scoffed, still sitting on the pew beside me, holding my mouth shut.

“Honestly, I don’t. We never saw Raymond again. We never heard anything. After I cooled off and Luke got better, I let it go.” Zach’s voice was more solemn. “That’s the truth. We didn’t kill anyone.”

Kilian cleared his throat. “The Hogert family were massacred in their own home. In that event, Raymond was killed along with his three siblings and his mother. The only survivor was his ten-year-old sister. The Family often leave survivors to send a message to another family member and give them an option for retaliation. Most don’t.”

A lump caught in my throat. How could my brothers be involved with people so sinister? I racked my brain, combing through old memories. All I could see were the smiles of my big brothers. Every time they picked me up from a party becauseI was too drunk or every Father’s Day we spent together celebrating just having each other. They couldn’t be killers. They couldn’t be the same as these people.

Zach grit his teeth. “We didn’t know.”

“Of course you did,” William spat. “Don’t lie here.” The robed figures stirred, whispering together.

“Check my memories, asshole! We didn’t get a choice. They never let us see all the awful shit they did. All they had to do was make us forget! And they did. Over and over. Until we finally figured it out one day. That’s why we left.”

Kilian put his hand up, and the room stopped stirring. “I want to hear from Luke now.”

He walked over to Luke, who was staring a hole into the floorboards.

“What happened to Sarah Garanger?”

I never knew Raymond. I didn’t even know what he looked like. But Sarah, I’d known for almost my whole life. She was funny, inquisitive, and she treated me and Presley like her little brothers. She had long, shiny black hair and a dimpled smile. She made the best chocolate chip cookies. When she went missing, the whole town was littered with her face. My mom cried. We all cried.

It never occurred to me that my brothers might have something to do with her disappearance. But they refused to talk about it. I just assumed it was too painful for Luke, and I didn’t want to make him talk about it.

Luke’s eyes fluttered at her name. “I didn’t hurt Sarah.”

“Do you know where she is?”

I waited anxiously for Luke to speak.

He looked over at me with solemn eyes, then back to Kilian. “She’s dead.”

It was like the wind was knocked out of me. I thought knowing the mystery would make me feel better, but it just made mefeel like I was going to vomit. Sarah, who made Presley and I cupcakes for every birthday, who loved her big family more than anything else in the world, was gone. Why would anyone want to kill her?

Anger ignited under my feet, and I stirred, but William kept a firm grasp over my mouth. His other hand was resting firmly on my shoulder. How could my brothers let anything happen to her? She was practically family.

“She died because of me,” Luke said.

“Stop saying that.” Zach was quick to correct him. “We didn’t kill her. She did.”

I swallowed. A cold chill ran down my spine. I was starting to truly understand how deep my brothers were in over their heads. It only made the anger in my chest burn hotter.

William’s hand tightened over my mouth. “They’re lying.”

“You weren’t fucking there!” Zach yelled.

“Would you rather show me than tell me?” Kilian reached, and Luke flinched away. There was no anger or judgment in his voice. Just pure patience.