Page 10 of Thief of Night (The Charlatan Duology #2)

[DRAFT] Transcription via AI from recording by Madurai Malhar Iyer

Context: I was asked to talk to the shadow in these recordings, who refers to himself as “Red,” with the hope I might remedy memory loss caused by Red’s transformation from a self-sustaining shadow (sometimes also called a wild shadow or Blight, although the negative implications of the latter designation are obvious) to a parasitic, bound shadow.

Personal bias: I have a friendship with Charlotte Hall, the person to whom Red is bound and a closer friendship [ note to self: situationship?

something else that sounds more scientific?

tk ] with her sister, Posey Hall. I didn’t know Red before he lost his memories, although I am aware that he went by “Vincent” and was able to pass for human.

Further personal bias [ remove? tk ]: I have wanted to talk with a Blight for a long time.

Also note: He is terrifying.

Malhar: You can tell me to stop asking questions at any time and the interview will end.

Red: Good. Stop asking me questions.

Malhar: Don’t you want to remember?

Red: Remember what? Naming myself Vincent? Pretending to be a person and living among them? I don’t know. Should I want that?

Malhar: What do you want?

Red: To be…

Malhar: Human?

Red: To be or not to be. That is the question. Or what is it—I think therefore I am? And I am. Or at least I think I am. I am. Sam. Green eggs and ham.

Malhar: What does it mean when you talk that way?

Red: Maybe just that I don’t know what’s appropriate to say out loud. Some of my thoughts should probably be in chains.

Malhar: That’s a dramatic way of putting it.

Red: That’s what you think, though, isn’t it? That it would be easier if I was in chains.

Malhar: Why would you say that?

Red: I can tell you’re afraid.

Malhar: Of course I am. I’m aware that I don’t know you very well and that you could hurt me. You’ve hurt other people. You admitted that much. But I’ve decided to trust you.

Red: Is that smart?

Malhar: You tell me.

Red: I have wanted to be human.

Malhar: I’m surprised. A minute or so ago, I thought you felt otherwise. In fact, I thought you were mocking me for suggesting it.

Red: Who wants to be a thing full of holes? A half-woven tapestry? Something poised to unravel? Something that maybe shouldn’t be at all. I’m just the pieces someone else didn’t want. Why would I want to be as I am?

Malhar: Do you believe that? That that’s all a shadow is?

Red: Now you’re the one who must tell me. You’re the scientist.

Malhar: I’m an ethnographer .

Red: And I am a creature made of holes. I don’t know what an ethnographer is.

Malhar: We’re supposed to be talking about you . About how you see the world. And don’t worry about not knowing what an ethnographer is—my cousins give me endless crap about it not being a real job. Even my mother keeps forgetting what it means.

Red: I don’t know how to describe how I see the world. I don’t have anything to compare it with. I could say that I see it how it is, but I know too much for that. Like—what’s it called, the thing with the shadows on the wall of the cave? Plato?

Malhar: You are a disturbing combination of erudition and instability.

Red: Oh yes. I disturb even myself.