Page 46 of These Dreams (Heart to Heart Collection #1)
Chapter forty-six
D arcy found his study to be the most peaceful room in the house, but even there, he did not like to linger. Its one advantage was that few dared to trouble him there, but he was surrounded by the oppressive business of Pemberley. He sat in his chair, elbows on his desk and kneaded his aching forehead. There seemed no logical place to begin, no loose end that cried out for him to pull.
Jefferson had spent the last hour with him, apprising him of all the events centred around the attack on his sister and Elizabeth. And that other woman. He was still marveling that his quiet sister and his intelligent Elizabeth could tolerate the younger sister’s company. She was ignorant and crass, and her last name was Wickham! She should never have been brought to Pemberley, but that had been in part Richard’s doing. Surely Elizabeth, sensible as she was, had been unhappy with the scenario from the beginning, but there had likely been little she could do against it.
His fingers pressed into his throbbing eyes, and then he tried to look over his notes again. There could be no doubt that Woods was the second man described by Elizabeth. He had been sent directly to the magistrate—Darcy would not have him about the estate another moment—but Elizabeth had written a clear description of the fellow and given it to Mr Jefferson, then preserved a second copy for herself. Clever woman!
Sighing, he dropped the papers back to his desk and closed a portfolio over them to keep them in order. His head was growing dim and pained from the protracted period indoors, and there was nothing he should like just now quite so much as a walk in the cool afternoon with Elizabeth. So long he had ached for her, and now that she had come at last to his home, he scarcely had a moment to feast his eyes upon her, to bask in her presence and assure himself that she was real!
Just as he was rising, a footman entered to ask if Miss Bennet might be shown in. He smiled privately. So, she was thinking of him while he thought of her! His heart warmed.
She came, her steps light and soft on the thick carpet of his study, her smile weary but tender. “William, are you well?”
He took her hand and found seats for them near the window. “I am somewhat better,” he permitted a draw to his lips—almost a smile.
She threaded her fingers through his and looked to the floor, apparently gathering her thoughts. “William… have you thought more about Colonel Fitzwilliam?”
“Thought? I have scarcely thought of anything else. Would that I knew where to begin to unravel the mystery!”
“You still suspect that it involves him somehow?”
“I am merely cautious. I can take no chances, not even with Richard.”
Her fingers tightened and she drew a careful breath. “It is true, perhaps, that we can never know another person’s heart.”
“I do not think that true. I judge a person by their actions. Someone who is loyal and faithful displays a habit of looking to the interests of others.”
“So you have done, when you tried to warn me of Mr Wickham,” she answered quietly. “It was more than justification, for you shared sensitive information. You were looking to the interests of my family, not your own.”
“I would thank you not to remind me of that particular episode, Elizabeth.”
“Forgive me, of course! But that is surely not the only example of your goodness. What of the way you have cared for Georgiana all these years? Surely, she depended upon you a great deal—far more than a young man might have been prepared for. I have sisters,” she smiled, “and I know something of the demands of raising a young lady. It must have been difficult, all on your own, but you tirelessly sought her good.”
“I did not do so entirely on my own,” he objected. “Do not make me out to be a paragon, Elizabeth, for my failings were many. Were it not for Richard—” his voice trailed off and he narrowed his eyes. “Elizabeth, I seem to have forgotten how easily you are able to trap me with my own words.”
She smiled. “Perhaps that was unfair, for you must be weary. It was far too easy! I shall play by the rules of polite discourse, rather than attempting to provoke you.”
“You may tease and provoke me as much as you like. I find it rather comforting, and you are helping my aching head to think clearly. I beg you, Elizabeth, do not stop.”
“If you wish. I was just wondering,” she tilted her head and gave him a pensive smile, “would you count the colonel’s past behaviour as evidence of a loyal heart?”
His lips thinned. “By appearances, of course. However, how do I not suspect that he was merely preparing her to become his wife one day?”
“She does not need gentle manners, piano lessons, riding instruction, and a champion among her relations if her only destiny is to be forced into a marriage with her guardian. If that were his desire, why would he not have demanded a marriage after her brush with Mr Wickham, to ‘save’ her reputation?”
He heaved a rough sigh. “I do not know. I simply… I do not understand any of it.”
“William, did you know what he told me just before he left for Portugal?”
A questioning glance was his only answer.
“He begged me—nearly forced me, if I am truthful—to come to Pemberley to be a friend for Georgiana. Never once did he suggest that she hide at Longbourn, nor did he close the gates of the estate to her other family and friends. He merely wanted her to have someone else loyal by her side while he went to search for you.”
His expression twisted in confusion. “He told you even then that he suspected I was alive?”
“William, he pulled the body out of the grave to examine it, so great was his doubt.”
He pinched his lips. “Someone utterly disconnected with the business would not have suspected. Perhaps he merely had a guilty conscience.”
“William!” she chided, laughing. “What am I to do with you? There must be some means by which the colonel may convince you of his fidelity.”
“Why are you so determined to prove him innocent?” he asked suspiciously.
She sighed, squeezing his hand. “Because he is a good man, William, and he shared with me something of his grief at losing you. I passed him a moment ago—he is delaying his departure by every moment he can, and his face is that of a boy who just lost his best horse. I beg you, will you not speak to him?”
He straightened, blinking rapidly and looking straight ahead.
“You are fond of him, William,” she reminded him in a soft voice. “I know you do not truly wish to banish him from your life.”
“Do you think it was easy for me to order him away? I have Georgiana to protect, and now you as well! Lord willing, Elizabeth, we will have children someday, and any heir to the Darcy estate would seem vulnerable unless I root out this conspiracy!”
A knowing smile played at her lips. “Children, Mr Darcy? I was under the impression that a gentleman must first propose before building a family.”
He started. “But I have proposed!”
“I would prefer not to remember Rosings,” she chuckled.
“What do you call early this morning, if not an understanding?”
She tilted her head away, still smiling, and surveyed her fingertips. “My sister asked me the same question. I did not know what to say to her, for without the surety of words exchanged, a woman may not feel secure in an engagement.”
For the first time that day, a genuine smile threatened his expression. “Allow me to set your mind at ease, then.” He fell to his knees before her chair, retaining her hand, and placed it over his chest. “My dearest Elizabeth, I have held you these many months in my heart. You were my companion, my courage, my rest. Will you hold me now in truth, build a future here with me, and spend the rest of your years with me?”
Her eyes were moist and her throat was working tightly. It was a moment before she could speak properly, but she traced his eyes and cheeks with the fingers of her other hand, then leaned forward to press a tender kiss to his lips. “Yes, William,” she whispered.
His form relaxed. “I cannot carry on without you, Elizabeth. Do you think, perhaps, that your father would approve an engagement if I wrote to him? I dread parting from you for so long.”
“I think, under the circumstances, that you have no business traveling to Hertfordshire to secure my father’s blessing. Other concerns are more pressing, are they not?”
His eyebrows rose in agreement. “Then it is settled. You shall remain here while we await word from your father, and then we will marry as soon as may be.”
“I cannot remain in your house without a proper chaperon,” she replied lowly.
“A chaperon?”
“My father entrusted me to Colonel Fitzwilliam’s care. It seems fitting that he might remain as such.”
His face darkened. “Was this an elaborate attempt to manipulate me into agreeing to your plan?”
“Manipulate, no!”
“Then what do you call it?”
“A reasonable solution, William. You must see that.”
“I see that you are exerting all your charms to keep my cousin here. What is your interest in this, Elizabeth?”
She withdrew her hands. “I ask you to do what is right, William. You are searching in the wrong place if you begin with the colonel. Why do you not investigate Mrs Annesley, who seemed to leave Georgiana vulnerable at all the worst times, or the account books, which do not balance properly? Why the colonel?”
“This is the first I have heard of Mrs Annesley,” he confessed.
“It would not have been, if you had not been so determined to pursue the wrong avenues.”
“Elizabeth,” he sighed and rose, standing uncomfortably before her. “You must trust me to know what I am about. I know what I heard in Portugal, and I know my estate and family. I think it likely that Richard is, indeed, innocent in intent, but he was well known to those who held me. I cannot risk it.”
“Have you at least spoken to him about it?”
“I have heard enough lies—”
She jerked to her feet, her eyes glittering with angry tears. “He loves you, William! Would he do the same to you, if he had been the captive and you were the one who searched for him? I have seen him about the estate. He is lost, and has no interest in being the master of it! Why, he refused even to set foot into your study, and was terrified of looking over the household books, but William, he may know something of those men who took you that he himself does not realise until you speak to him. If you send him away, you lose your strongest ally!”
He stepped back, staring at the floor and twitching his fingers in thought. “Perhaps I might speak again with him, as you are so determined to see me do it.”
She stepped near him again and took his hands. “Thank you, William. You will not regret it.”
“You are so convinced of his innocence?”
“I am.” She paused a moment, then her expression brightened. “If you require greater surety, perhaps you might confer with another you trust—another who holds the colonel highly in his regard, and has offered his assistance in your absence.”
He lifted a brow. “To whom do you refer?”
“My uncle Gardiner, of course! The colonel referred some of the estate’s commercial business to my uncle while he was to be away—”
Darcy snatched his hands back from hers and whirled to pace angrily away. “Your uncle, is it! Are you aware, Elizabeth, that he has somehow come into a lucrative contract on the Continent? Do you not find that a remarkable coincidence?”
She tilted he head. “Why, yes, I knew of something. My aunt counted it a very great blessing for the future of their business, but I have not been privy to the details. I believe a party approached my uncle last autumn, after another warehouse failed.”
“Last autumn! Elizabeth, listen to yourself! Does not the timing seem suspicious to you?”
Her features hardened. “Fitzwilliam Darcy, you are the most impossible man! My uncle’s business affairs have absolutely nothing to do with anything! Why, I do not believe he is even trading in Portugal. You are so determined to find traitors among your friends that you will not see the true dangers when they arise!”
“Enough of this! We shall not discuss it again!” He was shaking by this time. How was it that the most intelligent woman of his acquaintance could be so contrary and blind? It was for him to keep everyone safe, but he had neither shield nor armour of his own, save for her. Why could she not see? He placed a trembling hand over his face, then slowly turned back to her.
She was seething with fury, her small hands clenched and her cheeks flushed as brilliantly as they had been that horrible day at Rosings. “Forgive me, Elizabeth,” he faltered, feeling weak with regret. “I did not mean to raise my voice to you.”
“William,” she spoke through clenched teeth, “if you are determined to accuse my uncle and your cousin, if you persist in doubting my word, and if you lash out in anger whenever someone tries to speak reason to you, you are going to lose everyone.”
“Elizabeth! I—”
“I will not tolerate it, William!” she interrupted hotly. “I will not be intimidated into silence. If you cannot bear to hear me speak, then I ought not to be here.” She turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, brushing past the footman who leapt smartly out of her path.
The room was spinning. He reached numbly for a seat, but his hand missed, and he was too dazed to attempt it again. His knees faltered and he tumbled to the floor before the fire and gazed blindly into it. Elizabeth! He stared, his mouth slack, and the heat from the fire turning the moisture from his eyes into rough crystals that trailed down his face.