Page 47 of There’s a Way (Mythic Beast #2)

Davy

I don’t actually mind seeing Dr. Woods most of the time, but I really didn’t want to talk about my grandparents yet, so I dawdled and fretted until Master ordered me to get dressed and leave.

Security followed me off the ridge to make sure no one was tailing me, and then made a right turn at some point to head back to the Beast Castle.

I reluctantly drove myself to the business tower beside the hospital, parked, and made my way to the elevator. Step by step. I’d so much rather have just gone to work.

I was his first patient of the day at seven in the morning, so he motioned me right in even though I was five minutes early. No receptionist yet, just the doctor.

“How did things go in Alaska?” He asked as we walked into his office, before we even took our seats.

And I decided to talk about what I’d learned about supernaturals, rather than talk about my grandparents.

You see, I’d figured out a hack. I tried to tell Angie, Master’s house manager, about werewolves, and it just came right out.

She told me she’s a lioness once I told her who’d managed my oath.

So, it made sense that if I tried to tell someone who didn’t know, I wouldn’t be able to, right? The weird oath-thing would stop me.

I started out by telling him about Alfheim, and then learning about shifters and vampires. Would it let me tell him about Jupiter? Only one way to find out.

“I met Jupiter. Like, the real guy, who apparently lives on Olympus. The old gods, the pantheon deal, that’s all fucking real?” I managed to tell him the whole thing without any problem, which meant he knew, of course.

“It is, and I find it interesting Jupiter introduced himself to you. I take it you ran into danger?”

“Nathan apparently pulled him in and asked him to intercede. It’s more about them protecting Micca than anything to do with me, but I still appreciate that Nathan cares enough to make sure we’re safe.”

“You were never religious, were you? How has this affected your view of reality, spirituality, God?”

“One of my foster families made us go to church, but I never put a whole lot of stock in a God who’d let me be born into a family who treated me worse than an animal.

I guess this shows me I was right? There isn’t someone looking out for us.

The gods left a long time ago, decided humans fought too many wars in their name, and we’d all be better off if they left us to our own devices.

” I shrugged. “Maybe we would’ve been if we hadn’t gone and created different gods to fight over. ”

“What’s the saying?” Dr. Woods asked. “More wars have been fought in god’s name than for any other reason?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Basically, unless your girlfriend happens to be under the protection of the motherfucking King of the Lions, there isn’t a chance in Hell that one of the gods is going to intercede in your life and help you.”

“It’s my understanding that the pantheon gods believe in an overarching universal being, I guess what we’d call the One True God.

A being without gender, and it’s possible this being’s body is the universe, from what I gather, though that part seems a bit…

” He shrugged. “Obscure? Out of the range of our intellectual capabilities? Unknowable at our level of three-D understanding?”

“It still feels like everything is just chance and luck. Whether you’re born into the royal family, or the child of a billionaire, or into a middle-class family.”

“Or into hell,” he said.

I nodded. That was a little close to the mark, and I didn’t trust my voice.

“And your grandparents didn’t know anything about your situation, so it’s hard to be mad at them.”

He said it as a statement, and I nodded in agreement but said, “I think I’m still a little mad, though, and I didn’t realize it until just now.”

“Perfectly logical for you to be mad. Is it something you want to talk to them about?”

“No. It’s possible I’m pissed at the gods more than my parents or grandparents, and I don’t even care if it’s logical or not. And maybe it’s fate or chance that I’m pissed at. Hell, maybe I’m pissed at the universe itself.”

Micca sometimes referred to The Universe as if it should be capitalized, as if it were some kind of god. Did she believe as Dr. Woods said the old gods did?

“I wish I had an exercise to help you work through the anger, something besides just talking through it, but this is one of those things you’re going to have to come to terms with.

Honestly, it won’t hurt anything for you to be pissed at The Universe until you decide it no longer has any personal value for you to put forth that energy. ”

“And if I never come to that conclusion?”

“You’re a smart guy. Some people never figure it out, others take twenty or more years to get there. I’m willing to bet it takes you less than five years. Seven, tops.”

I took a few seconds to consider what he was saying. “Is that your way of telling me I’m not going to get over this in a few weeks?”

He tilted his head and asked, “Did you like your grandparents, once you met them in person?”

“I did. I can see my own mannerisms in some of the things my grandfather does. Also, I didn’t expect to have so much in common with my grandmother.”

And maybe there was something Dr. Woods could help me work through. Something I actually wanted to talk about and figure out.

“I never thought I wanted kids. I mean, I’m gay, so it wasn’t likely the subject was going to come up, but still. I was relieved about the fact I wasn’t likely to just accidentally end up with kids.”

I stopped talking to figure out how to say what came next, and he asked, “And this has changed?”

“I mean, I don’t want them now , but I can see a time in the future that I might.

I never wanted to bring a fucked-up child into the world, and based on my parents, and on my lifestyle, I guess I thought it was good I wasn’t going to do that.

But now, after having met my grandparents?

Maybe my genes aren’t so totally fucked up. ”

And something else I hadn’t talked to Dr. Woods about.

“I think it’s possible Carlos chose me because I told him I didn’t intend to ever try drugs.

Not even once. Nothing stronger than alcohol, and even with alcohol, I didn’t want enough to get drunk.

My parents were addicts, so I figured it was best I never stepped onto the train that might take me there. ”

“You’ve never been drunk?”

I shook my head. “I drank beer before I came to the conclusion I shouldn’t. But the thing is, I never had a chance to get drunk, back when I started drinking beer. I’d only have one or two cans available, enough to get a buzz, but…” I shrugged.

“Why do you think this appealed to Carlos?”

“Because I was around his supplies all the time, his inventory — accepting shipments, handing it out to his dealers, counting and weighing, and of course, muling for him. I was safe around all that product since I wasn’t interested in using it.”

“How does this alter your view of the relationship you had with him?”

I shook my head because I didn’t really know the answer, but I knew from experience I had to say something or Dr. Woods would just keep asking the same question in different ways.

“I guess I already knew he found someone he could take home and turn into a slave. He didn’t fall in love with me, he just saw someone he could mold into the kind of slave he wanted.

Would he have taken me home if he’d been able to get me drunk?

Or if I’d have snorted the cocaine he offered?

I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, I guess. ”

“Except for that fate thing?” He asked. “Something else you can blame on your parents? If you hadn’t been scared of becoming addicted, would you have been invited to go home with him?”

I met his gaze. “Okay, and I know this is fucked up, but I had to figure out who I am eventually, right? Someone was going to turn me into a slave, and who’s to say the next person who came along and saw that need inside me might’ve been worse?

The thing is, I realized while I was in Alaska — I like who I am right now, and I love my life.

If my grandparents had swooped in and rescued me, they’d have taken me to bumfuck Alaska, and I’d probably still be there.

Maybe I’d love my life because I didn’t know what else was out there, or maybe I’d hate it because I doubt there are that many gay guys living up there, and it’s doubtful there are many gay Doms, much less true Masters. ”

We talked the full hour, and I had more to say when it was over, which isn’t the way my time with him usually goes, but I walked away from the appointment realizing I needed a conversation outside of power-exchange with Will and Micca.