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THIRTY-TWO

GIRL

He tells me I’ve been here for over two years now. This capsule is my home, and since he’s started listening to me and my needs, life is easier.

I have my books. He gets lots and lots of books for me, and I love reading so much. It takes me to places I can only imagine.

Being in solitude has made me dig deep into myself. He told me it would, and I fought it for so long. Fighting was such a waste of time. I shudder as I remember the early months, the first time he kissed me, the moment our relationship changed.

He was my captor, the man who took me, but now I knew why: he loved me and I failed to see that for a long time.

I meditate, which is what he told me to do. Sometimes, we meditate together, and I feel it, like he said I would – the deep, spiritual connection that we have.

‘Look inside yourself. You have all the answers,’ he’d say. And I believe him.

We were always meant to be.

He told me a truth; one that took me a long time to comprehend. We were together in another life. I was his one true love and he was mine. He’s lived many more lives, and so have I, and this is the one we met again in. Once he explained everything, I knew we could never part.

I hear his voice in my head, telling me our true love story. ‘It was during the plague. We lived in a castle and I did everything I could to protect you. The disease came for us in a chest of gowns that were my gift to you, and I am sorry, my darling, my angel. I regretted that moment throughout time. Then I found you again. Fate had played its hand. When I saw you on your own that night, I recognised you straight away, and after waiting for centuries, I knew I couldn’t just let you go. You do understand, don’t you? I didn’t want to take you off the street that day, but there was no other way. I had to get you here, with me, in solitude, so you could find those memories of us again.’

And I did find them. I remember them because I lived them. I’ve always felt broken, but now, after years in this capsule, I feel whole again.

His dreams are my dreams, too, because I feel them. As long as I have him, I don’t need anyone.

Back in our previous life, we had no children; he told me that and I saw it when he helped me with my past-life regressions.

I feel tears spilling down my cheeks. As I think about our story, our lives back then, it saddens me that we did not create a life, someone who could be alive now.

I glance at the pills on the worktop. I’ve religiously taken them since I’ve been here – well apart from our first time – but now, I want to do something for him that I couldn’t do back then. What we have is precious.

I throw the pills in the bin. It’s time to start showing him how grateful I am that he found me.

‘I love you,’ I whisper, at the camera above.