Page 67 of Theirs for the Holidays
“I think I finallydounderstand, actually. Your mother died, you sold your company, and it ruined you. It made you richer than everyone in Sweetwater Lake combined, but it ruined you all the same. And I don’t think you even understand why.”
I wait, going silent for a beat to see if one of them is going to interrupt me. When they all stay quiet, I look at each of them in turn. “You were hurting. You lost your mother, and you felt lost. Isn’t that right?”
There’s some hesitation, but then they all nod.
“Lennox, why did you think taking the offer was a good idea?”
He looks at me, then ducks his head to stare at the floor. “I wasn’t sure what else to do. None of us were thinking clearly, and I was worried that—” He swallows hard. “I was worried that I was going to fuck it up for us. We had already lost so much, and I was afraid we would lose this too. Taking the offer meant letting it go on our own terms.”
Rhett makes a noise like he’s about to say something but then cuts himself off, and I turn to him next. “How did it feel to you?” I ask him.
He takes a breath, and I watch him go through the effort of unclenching his jaw. “It felt like he wanted out,” he mutters. “Like he didn’t even want that last thing that tied us all together anymore. After losing Mom… it just felt like a rejection.”
Lennox’s gaze shoots to him sharply at that. His face is set into a frown, but it looks more sad than angry.
I look to Sawyer. “And you? How did it feel?”
His arms are still folded, his posture screaming that he’s not getting over his anger that easily. “It felt like giving up because things were hard,” he says bitterly. “I just wanted us to all take some time tothinkbefore we rushed in and made a decision like that. Everything after Mom’s death felt like it happened so fucking fast. The funeral, the offer, the decision. We didn’t even take time to grieve properly or breathe, and then we were selling our company.”
“You wanted to keep it?” Lennox asks.
“I wanted it to at least be a discussion. More than just you telling us it was for the best.”
“It would have been nice to talk about it,” Rhett agrees. “The timing was bad.”
“Yeah.” Lennox clears his throat, scrubbing a hand down his face. “I can see that. I just… wasn’t sure what else to do. I felt like everyone was looking to me as the oldest to know the right answer, but I was just as lost.”
“Did you tell your brothers that?” I ask him softly.
He draws in a breath, his chest expanding with it, then blows it out slowly as he shakes his head. “No. I didn’t.”
“I can’t imagine how it must have felt,” I tell them all. “Losing your mom, and being faced with this decision and all the uncertainties. But can’t you all see that nothing that happened was about intentionally hurting anyone? You were all just reacting from a place of grief and hurt feelings. None of it was malicious. None of it is worth throwing each other away over. Lennox wanted to protect you all from failure because he loves you. Rhett wanted to stay working together because he loves you. Sawyer wanted to discuss it as a family and not just rush into anything because he loves you. It’salwaysbeen about love. You just never said it.”
It’s sort of a cheesy speech, but I can tell that none of them ever thought of their fight in these terms. They just reacted with hurt feelings and let that carry them through the years. Having it reframed seems to have shocked all of them, and I can see them thinking it over, replaying what happened through this new lens.
“Why does it feel like we just had a therapy session?” Sawyer asks after a long beat, and that draws a laugh out of the other two.
“Maybe because you needed it?” I shoot back, hands on my hips. “I think you all just forgot how to talk to each other and it spiraled from there.”
“You might be right.”
I give him a little smile. “Sawyer, you have to remember how to let people in. Otherwise you’ll miss out on too much and end up all alone. I know you get restless, but your brothers used to be the people you trusted most in the world. I hate seeing you estranged from them and having nowhere and no one to call home anymore.”
A look of something almost like vulnerability passes over his face at that, and I can tell I’ve hit the nail on the head with him. Surprisingly, he doesn’t hide it from me, letting me see the honest reaction in his expression. I move in closer to him, meeting his gaze. For a moment, we just stare at each other, and I try to convey with my eyes that it’s nothing to be ashamed of. That there’s nothing wrong with wanting a home to come back to.
I want him to understand that, to reallyfeelit.
I want him to feel like he’s home now.
Following some instinct I can’t even name, I take one more step closer, until we’re standing almost chest to chest. So close that I can feel the heat from his muscled body radiating into mine. Then I lean up, brushing my lips over his.
I can feel his soft intake of breath, and after half a heartbeat of stillness, he kisses me back, deepening it enough that it sends a little shiver down my spine. His lips are warm and firm, and when we separate, I can feel my pulse in every limb of my body.
Lennox and Rhett are standing there, watching, and it feels weird to kiss Sawyer and not either of them. So I take a breath and move to Lennox next.
He looks surprised but doesn’t move away. I reach out and take his hand on the injured side, tapping the back of it until he uncurls his fingers from the tight fist he’s been holding them in.
“I know you think you have to protect your brothers and everyone else too,” I say. “But you don’t have to do it alone. Youdon’t have to make all the decisions alone. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay to lean on the people who care about you. That’s what family is supposed to be for. Don’t shoulder all the burdens on your own, okay?”