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CHAPTER 1

RILEY

I had imagined college a thousand different ways.

Some versions were lonely, but freeing. Some were overwhelming, filled with new people and new experiences. Some were even terrifying, but exciting, like stepping onto a stage without knowing my lines.

None of them looked like this.

I stared at my laptop screen, my vision blurring as I tried for the third time to reread the same paragraph. My body ached, my chest tight, and my limbs felt heavy, like I was wading through molasses. I was exhausted in a way that went beyond a bad night’s sleep. The kind of exhaustion that settled into my bones and refused to leave.

My first month at Tennessee had been a disaster.

I had gotten sick within the first two weeks and hadn’t really recovered.

I had barely started the semester before my body betrayed me. A flare-up had knocked me out for almost a month, leaving me stuck in my dorm, barely able to move, let alone attend class. By the time I had dragged myself out of my room, I was already drowning in overdue assignments, missed lectures, and the overwhelming sense that I was falling behind. The professors were understanding—for a while. But sympathy only stretched so far in college.

Now, I was barely holding onto passing marks. Academic probation loomed like a threat I couldn’t afford to acknowledge.

The campus was huge, filled with students who all seemed to already know what they were doing, where they were going…who they were supposed to be. I, on the other hand, spent most of my time lost—both literally and figuratively. I was always five minutes late to everything, trying to figure out how to navigate the endless maze of lecture halls and offices. My body was struggling to keep up, and it showed in everything I tried to do.

And then there was my roommate.

Emma was…odd.

Not in an endearing, quirky way, but in a deep, unsettling way that made me wonder how she functioned in society.

And that was coming from me—possibly the second most awkward person in the world.

Because Emma had clearly taken the first spot.

She spoke in whispers, even when we were alone in the room, and had a habit of staring at me while I was sleeping. I knew this because I’d woken up twice to find her sitting at her desk, completely still…watching me.

The first time, I’d thought I had imagined it. After the second time, I started locking the bathroom door while I showered and sleeping with one eye open.

She seemed to only leave the room to attend her classes.

Which meant that I never had a moment alone. I didn’t have any friends yet, and I wasn’t close enough to anyone to go hang out in their dorm. That meant when I wasn’t working my two campus jobs, I spent most of my time holed up in the library or pretending to study at the campus cafe just to get away from the constant feeling of being watched.

I had considered requesting a room change, but what was the point? I could end up with someone worse.

Possibly.

Well, probably not.

I was pretty sure that Emma may have said, “Sometimes, I wonder what you’d look like if all the light went out of your eyes,” the other night…but she’d said it so softly…and so cheerfully, that I couldn’t be sure.

But really, what excuse would I give? Hey, my roommate is a little too ghost-like for my taste, can I please have someone who blinks?

I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face.

Despite everything, though, despite the loneliness, the exhaustion, and the looming threat of failing, there was one thing that made it all worth it—I was free. Free from him. Free from the whispers in my ear, the suffocating grip he had on my life, the constant reminder that I was never enough. The weight of Callum had been lifted, and even though I was struggling, even though every day I felt like another battle, at least it was my battle. At least I was finally fighting for myself.

The library was half full, the hum of hushed voices and the soft scratch of pens against paper filling the space. I had taken my usual seat at the far end, where the overhead light wasn’t too harsh, and I could spread out my notes without anyone getting in my space.

I had been staring at the same sentence in my textbook for five minutes when someone sat down across from me.

“Do you always look this miserable, or am I just catching you at a bad time?”

I glanced up, blinking at the girl now sitting across from me. She seemed vaguely familiar, her dark curls piled on top of her head, gold hoop earrings glinting under the soft glow of the lamp.

I searched my brain for her name. “Yeah…”

She grinned. “Tasha. We have English together,” she supplied helpfully.

Right. That’s where I’d seen her.

She popped her gum and nodded. “And you’re Riley. The mysterious girl who never talks in class.”

I sighed, rubbing my temple. “Not mysterious. Just…shy.”

“Same thing.” She propped her chin on her hand and smirked. “Anyway, I was gonna leave you alone, let you keep suffering in solitude, but then I figured—what kind of person would I be if I let you waste away in the library when I have the perfect solution to all your problems.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You have some kind of wild study technique that’s going to magically save my GPA?”

She snorted. “No. Something much, much better than that. Sorority recruitment.”

I stared at her. “I appreciate it, but?—”

“Nope.” She held up a manicured hand. “Don’t say no yet. Just listen. We’re hosting an event at the Lucky Strike tonight. It’s chill. No pressure. Just a chance to hang out, meet cool girls, maybe have some fun. Which…based on that look on your face, I’m guessing you haven’t had in years.”

I scoffed…but couldn’t come up with anything to say. Because she was kind of right.

“It’s true, isn’t it?” She gave me a pointed once-over. “When’s the last time you went anywhere that wasn’t a classroom or your dorm or the library?”

Her smirk widened when I didn’t say anything.

“Exactly. And before you throw out some excuse about how far behind you are, it’s basically a scientific fact that in order to study hard, you have to play hard too. I’m surprised you haven’t figured that out yet.”

A grin slipped across my lips, one of my first since coming to campus.

“And you know what professors looooove, Riley?” she asked, leaning forward.

“What?” It was ridiculous how much I hated that word—professor—but it couldn’t be helped. I might never hear that word again without wanting to throw up.

“ Making connections . Professors like students they recognize. And what better way to get involved than by joining the best sorority on campus?”

I hesitated. The last thing I wanted was to spend a night in a loud bar, pretending to be social when all I really wanted was to hide under my covers.

But then I thought about what hiding under the covers actually meant…

Being watched.

By Emma.

While I slept.

And I did have that fake ID that Callum had gotten for me so I could drink when I was with him…

Tasha leaned forward, watching my expression, a victorious gleam in her eyes. “Come on, Riley. You’re not supposed to just survive college. You’re supposed to enjoy the whole experience. Live a little.”

I sighed, biting the inside of my cheek. She had a point. I had spent my time at Tennessee so far avoiding risk, avoiding people…I was missing out on everything.

Maybe it was time to change that.

I let out a slow breath. “Fine. I’ll go.”

Tasha grinned, clapping her hands together. “Not exactly the enthusiasm I’m looking for, but I can work with it.” She stood and stretched. “And hey, if nothing else, there’s free drinks.”

I laughed, and the sound seemed like a good sign. “You should have led with that,” I told her, even though I’d never had more than a few sips of a drink my entire life.

She winked. “See you tonight. You won’t regret it.”

And with that, she sauntered off, leaving me staring at my textbook, feeling something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Excitement.