Page 85 of The Worst Best Man

“I’m not acting crazy! I’m making sure my daughter isn’t getting in over her head with a crowd that runs too fast! What if he wants you to go to Monaco or St. Barths? What if he gets you hooked on drugs? All the celebrities need rehab, you know.”

“Jesus, I’m not thirteen, Ma! And Aiden isn’t hooking me on drugs.”

“I don’t want you losing your focus on your degree for a handsome face with deep pockets.”

“Mother!All you’ve talked about since I was twenty-two was me getting married.”

“I meant to a nice guy from Brooklyn who could offer you a family and a nice home within a three-block radius of our house. Not some kajillionaire who would treat you like some trophy.”

“Oh, I’m not a trophy?” Frankie demanded at full volume.

“I thought you said you weren’t marrying him?” May demanded.

“You know how I operate! You say no, and that’s what I want to do!”

“Tuesday would be great,” Aiden said.

“Awesome,” Marco nodded.

“Meet at the Garden?” Gio suggested.

“Works for me,” Marco nodded.

“Me, too.”

“Who’s gonna sneak in there and get another round of beers?” Hugo wondered.

“Oh, my God. I’ll do it,” Rachel said, pushing back from the table.

“Be careful in there, babe,” Marco warned her, no longer as concerned with the welfare of their unborn baby since beer was on the line.

Rachel headed down the hallway supporting her belly.

“Everyone can hear every word you both are saying,” she announced.

“No, they can’t,” both Baranski women announced.

“Yes, we can,” the Baranski men insisted from the dining room.

“See what you did, Ma?”

“Me? You’re the one who brings a trillionaire to lunch!”

“We can still hear you,” Gio yelled.

“No, you can’t,” May insisted.

But the yelling ceased, and after a few stage whispers from down the hall, Frankie, Rachel, and May reappeared. Frankie and May had topped off their wineglasses.

Rachel was juggling four beers that she doled out at the table.

Aiden guzzled the last of his beer and reached for the fresh one. “This roast is delicious,” he announced.

Marco snorted and choked.

“We’re so happy to have you here to enjoy it,” May said, smiling sweetly.

Frankie flipped her brother the bird.