Page 6 of The Wolf’s Appetite (The Lycans #8)

LENNOX

“ T his isn’t a waste of time, Lennox,” Dr. Bronwyn Mikonovich said in that soft, placating voice of hers.

I didn’t respond.

“This is good for you. It’s been going well, don’t you think?”

I snorted. “If ye think being forced by my father tae come here weekly while ye tell me all the shit that I can do tae ‘better my life,’ then ye and I have very different ideas on what’s been going well.”

She leaned back in her chair and nodded in that way that annoyed the fuck out of me. Because it genuinely seemed like she got where I was coming from.

It was also the way she stared at me that told me she could see through my bullshit and wanted to call me out. But she’d also said we weren’t “there” yet in this professional relationship for her to really open up the way she wanted us both to.

I looked at my watch. “Time’s up, Doc,” I said and rose, the couch behind me looking like a fucking piece of dollhouse furniture compared to my size.

She exhaled but didn’t say anything in response. She stood as well, setting her tablet on the little table beside her chair and looking at me to once again give me that placating smile.

I dwarfed her so much she had to tip her head back to look at my face.

Being a Lycan meant I was a big male in general, but ever since my accident and losing the one integral part of me—my Lycan, my inner animal—all I’d been focusing on was working out.

Lifting helped to keep my head clear and focused. It helped me not obsess over the things I couldn’t change.

At the very thought of no longer sensing my inner beast within me, I felt those dark tendrils of nothingness start to creep through me.

They’d been my friend—or enemy, more accurately—for a very long time after my accident, after my face had been scarred when we’d attacked our enemies.

It wasn’t even the fucking scarring that bothered me. It was the fact that after I’d woken up from my accident, I hadn’t been able to feel my wolf.

It was as if he’d deserted me at the time I needed him the most.

I knew Dr. Mikonovich could sense how on edge I constantly was and smell that frantic energy in me, seeing as she, too, was a Lycan.

But she didn’t seem intimidated. Not one fucking bit. Then again, I was sure she saw a lot of Otherworld creatures who had a lot more darker issues than I did.

“I’ll see you next week, Lennox.”

I grunted my affirmation because she and I both knew I didn’t have a choice.

Father or not, when the Scottish king of the Lycans told you to do something, you fucking did it, thanked him, and asked for seconds.

I left her office and was in my SUV before I realized that I’d even made the small trek to my vehicle. I sat in the driver’s seat for a minute with my hands on the steering wheel, the leather creaking as I slowly tightened my fingers around it.

Truth was, I was fucking exhausted. My father had gotten sick of seeing me either moping around my room, cursing out the staff in angry fits from my frustration, or picking fights with my brothers or the Guard.

The testosterone and aggression in my body was so high it was starting to choke me .

I hadn’t been able to shift into my animal for far too long, which I could have handled if I’d known I could at some point. But I didn’t know. I had no fucking clue why my inner beast was gone or if he’d ever come back.

And seeing as there was no recorded history of this happening to our kind, no one knew how to help.

It was an itch under my skin, a burn in my veins. It was that feeling when you are so thirsty that it physically hurts.

I made quick work heading back to the estate, although I should’ve taken my fucking time. I didn’t want to see the sympathetic looks cast my way from everyone I passed.

Fuck their sympathy.

They could never know the destruction you felt when you no longer had that other part of yourself. I wondered if this was what it was like to have a mate and have her taken away.

It was a hollowness that could never be filled, and it fucking sucked.

It fucking sucked.

I didn’t bother going through the front doors when I got to the estate, just parked and headed around back to one of the less used entrances.

I could hear voices across the property and glanced up to see my father with a few of the Guard, his personal Lycan army, working on fighting drills .

Although we had an entire lower level in the estate dedicated to training, having natural terrain to get your body used to different stances was better.

I ducked my head and walked inside, passing a few of the staff as they went about their day cleaning or cooking.

They had seen me grow into the male I was today and watched me slowly spiral to the bottom of the barrel.

I wondered what they truly thought of me.

I wondered if they would still feel sympathetic or give me their sad smiles if I wasn’t one of the princes of the Scottish Lycans. I’d never truly know, so I straightened my spine, threw my shoulders back, and growled the best I could as I ascended the service stairs.

Once upstairs, I headed down the hallway to my room, thankful I hadn’t run into my brother Tavish or my mother.

With Caelan mated and living with his female, I only saw him when he came over for a visit or when we worked out together.

But Tavish was unmated—like me—and was still at the estate. And because I’d become an unbearable, surly bastard, I found myself picking fights with him almost every time our paths crossed.

It’s because you want to feel again.

I felt like a fucking prick most of the time. Snapping at my father, ignoring my mother’s gentle urges to open up and talk to her, and then getting into physical altercations with my brothers. And fuck, we wouldn’t even talk about how much of an asshole I was to the staff and Guard.

Especially her.

I scrubbed a hand over my face. I was tired, but it wasn’t the physical kind. No, I had fucking energy for days where that was concerned.

This exhaustion was of the mental and soul-deep kind.

I slowed and finally came to a stop in front of my bedroom door, seeing it ajar and instantly bristling when I inhaled deeply and caught the scent of her .

You’d think for as fucking miserable as I was to everyone, she’d take the hint and leave me the fuck alone or at least keep a wide berth.

I pushed the door open harder than needed but reached out and stopped it before it cracked against the wall. The light in the bathroom was on, and I found myself stalking toward the open doorway and glaring inside.

Aisling was currently bent at the waist as she placed a fresh stack of towels underneath the sink. Her standard issued white-and-black servant attire was snug around her curvy form.

As she shifted position, I clenched my jaw as her generous hips, thick thighs, and full ass were perfectly outlined under the material of her uniform. I swallowed a frustrated groan when I didn’t see any panty lines.

The fact that she hadn’t even noticed I was there also annoyed me. Did she not take care of herself or was mindful of her surroundings? Did she not know when a threat was right behind her?

Although I would never hurt her, never even dream of it, she was a Lycan and should’ve been able to pick up on my presence before I even stepped into the bedroom.

I scowled, annoyed that I gave a shit.

“I thought I asked ye tae stop coming in here?” My voice was a husky growl that startled her. She jumped up and cried out, spinning around as she clutched a single towel against her chest.

But even the plush material couldn’t hide the generous swells of her breasts as her breath heaved. She only gave me that startled expression for a second before her eyes narrowed.

She straightened her shoulders and glared at me. And I felt… something. I felt it tightening in my bones, constricting my muscles.

Was it arousal? I didn’t feel the need to pounce and devour her, yet it was a sensation that pulled me headlong into uncharted territory .

We stared at each other, and her little nose flared in indignation when she inhaled sharply. I was sure she was probably thinking about the last time we’d run into each other.

She’d been bringing towels to me then, too, ironically enough, and I’d all but growled in her direction until she ran out of the room. If memory served me correctly, I also threw the towels out of the room, barking at her to leave me the hell alone.

She’d kept her distance from me until now. But she probably hadn’t been expecting me back yet.

Aside from my family, Aisling seemed to be the only one to grit her teeth and not put up with my bullshit.

She put the towel she’d been using as a poor excuse for a shield from me under the sink and closed the cabinet doors.

When she straightened and smoothed her hand down the white apron covering her black pressed dress, I couldn’t help but let my gaze follow that hand and linger on the luscious curves it traced.

My tongue darted out and smoothed over my lips, leaving saliva glistening in its wake. I curled my fists at my sides, my nails digging into my palms, that strange constricting of muscles around bones so tight the pain almost brought me to my knees.

The offended noise she made and the way she crossed her arms over her chest broke me out of my trance and had me smirking .

“I kno’ what ye said. But I donna work for ye.”

I lifted an eyebrow at the snappy tone in her voice.

“And when the king or queen asks me tae handle household affairs, that includes coming in here and doing my job whether ye like it or no’.”

She kicked up her chin as if snubbing her nose at me, and I felt the corner of my mouth twitching in amusement.

She may be lush with a woman’s body, but she was tiny compared to me.

I took a step into the bathroom, having to turn slightly so my shoulders could get through the width of the doorway.

I crowded her, filled the space so she had to tip her head back and look at me. And as I inhaled deeply, I was surprised to scent only mild annoyance coming from her.

My heart started pounding a little bit harder, the blood moving faster through my veins. My skin itched and my muscles flexed and relaxed. It felt so strange to not have the heightened senses from my wolf, but still, they were far more attuned then a normal human’s.

I didn’t know what the hell was going on with me right now.

But as annoying as that was, a part of me liked the mystery of why this tiny female caused this strong reaction in me when nobody else ever had .

One word kept filtering through my mind, but I pushed it back. I didn’t have my wolf anymore or the instinct to tell me she was my mate.

Realistically, I assumed she was making me feel like this because people didn’t defy me. I was accustomed to their apprehension, the way they kept a wide berth from me. I wasn’t used to them standing their ground.

“Ye’re no’ like the others,” I said absently.

Her eyes flared slightly. “If ye have a specific issue with the way I do my work or complete my tasks, ye’re free tae speak with the king and queen about it.”

It was hard as hell not to take a step toward her. Because the truth was, I wanted to really get close to her. She talked to me like I was… no one to her. She didn’t placate me, didn’t see me as royalty. I was just some fucking dude annoying the shit out of her.

And I… fucking loved that.

I scowled at my own thoughts, which probably looked like I was making the expression at her. And when she pursed her lips and made a little humph sound, once again, I felt my amusement grow.

Gods, it had been so long since I felt any kind of humor that it was almost foreign to me.

“Good day,” she said, a little too prim and proper, as if she were offended by my surly attitude.

Aisling tried to move past me, but I didn’t get out of the way, which forced her to stop when she was just a foot from where I stood.

She craned her head back and glared at me, and after this long standoff where we just stared at one another, I shifted slightly to the side, only giving her a small amount of space.

I sensed her irritation and impatience, and finally, I stepped back a foot. She walked by, and when her shoulder brushed against my abdomen on the way out, I felt a jolt of electricity move through me so strongly that every muscle in my body contracted, almost dropping me to my knees.

I stepped out of the bathroom and watched her leave. It was only when I was alone that I kept thinking one thing:

Could she be my mate? Without my wolf to tell me for sure, I couldn’t say for certain.

What I did know was I wanted to find out, and with a smirk, I felt a cockiness fill me as I reached down and adjusted myself, continuing to watch her leave and thinking about how fun a chase would be.