Griffin

“I love Victor, and I will marry him.”

Those words have tormented me in dreams and waking.

I have never felt so defeated in my life.

We have had multiple conversations with me asking her not to marry Victor, but not once did she ever say she loved him.

She spoke about how I don’t control her and how she does whatever she would like and will marry whoever she wants. But the question of love never came up.

It broke me apart in ways I never thought possible, and I was certain if the ballroom had gone quiet as she walked away with him, the whole pack would have witnessed the weight of my heart falling at her feet and how she trampled on every piece.

It was laughable how I could almost swear I was getting through to her with the kisses and stolen moments. But now, I know those feelings were only made possible by the bond we shared and not born of her will.

It was evident in the way she looked at Victor. A mating bond couldn’t birth the deep feeling of adoration I saw in her eyes. Those could only be born of true love and complete devotion, and I knew without doubt that she didn’t feel any of that for me.

I was no stranger to pain, but this felt like the type that would burrow into your skin and make a home for itself, the type you can’t get rid of by breaking things and throwing yourself into work.

It would stay, silent and simmering, waiting for the distractions to die down.

Then, it would remind you of its presence.

Was this how she felt when I told her I was in love with Lilith and had no interest in our mating bond? I could still remember that day in my room and the look on her face when I told her I had responsibilities that trumped the will of the goddess.

How she was able to put up a strong front and be so understanding about things while Lilith and I fawned over each other without breaking down was a mystery to me.

She was hurting. She just hid it better , my wolf whispered before retreating into himself. I’ve never seen him so solemn my whole life.

The errors of my ways and the selfishness of my actions played out before me. In my quest to define my own fate to ensure my happiness, I somehow ended up drafting the cruelest destiny for myself.

“I hope you’ve had enough time to come to your senses,” Lilith’s voice almost startled me as she perched on my table, casually twirling my bedroom key on her finger.

“I asked you to drop my key and everything that belonged to me with Michael,” I hissed, the sight of her bringing to mind all I had lost.

She let out a dramatic sigh, hopping off the table and taking lazy strides toward me .

“I was hoping that seeing the happy couple at the banquet would jog your brain into seeing we belonged together.”

“We’re over Lilith. I made that very clear when I asked for a divorce, and it doesn’t matter what happens. I’d rather remain single and celibate to the grave than spend one more day married to you.”

Her face twisted into a hideous frown, anger rolling off her features.

“I am done being patient with you, Griffin. My whole life I have put you before me and indulged your every whim. I supported your dreams and never said a word about mine. Now that it’s finally time for you to let me live out mine you decide you want a divorce?

What will happen to all the years I’ve given you?

All the suitors I rejected for you? I rejected my mate to be with you, Griffin. ”

“Spare me the pity party, Lilith. You could’ve saved us the waste of time if you had just been honest from the beginning. This was never about me or how much you love me. You’ve only ever seen the throne and the power it gives, so don’t act like you’re some innocent damsel in distress.”

“And this innocent damsel in distress you speak of would be Mira, isn’t it?” she shot back, her eyes alight with rage.

The sound of Mira’s name coming from her fueled my anger to a different level. “You’ll keep her name out of your mouth if you want to leave this room in one piece.”

She exploded into maniacal laughter, her aura reeking of pure, unadulterated evil.

“Let’s face it, Griffin, you have neither balls nor guts to hit me, so here’s what we’re going to do.

You will tell everyone that the divorce is a sham and send that girl out of our lives, or I’ll ask my parents to pull their support from you.

You know they’re highly respected by the nobles, and if they pull away from you, you’ll stand to lose the support of more than half of the council. ”

It was my turn to laugh. I had considered all these factors before proceeding with the divorce, and none of them enticed me to stay with her. I’d gladly lose the support of her parents if it meant that she’d disappear from my life.

“Be my guest, Lilith. You can take your parents and the high council with you on your way out.”

“You would give up your birthright for her?” she asked, her tone devoid of the smugness from earlier.

“My position on the throne is not dependent on you or your father’s vote. Now get out of my room.”

To my surprise, she turned to leave but stopped when she got to the door, her hand hovering on the handle.

“You know, for someone who fought so hard to make sure they didn’t end up like their parents, it’s quite an achievement to watch how you’ve somehow managed to surpass their misery.

At least they stuck together until the end.

You, on the other hand, will die alone with no one to hold your hand when you take your last breath, and I’ll be there to watch. ”

With that, she shut the door behind her, leaving me stunned as the gravity of her words settled into me.

A blinding surge of anger tore through me, and I drove my fist into the wall. Unfortunately, I was of royal bloodline, and the injury healed before I would relish the pain.

I repeated the movement a second time and again until my wall bore a huge crack, and I had no strength left to lift my fist.

*****

“That will be all Michael. I’ll let you know if I need anything else,” I said, dismissing him for the day .

I gathered the strength to pull myself up from bed, briefly scanning through the files Michael brought before reaching back for my bottle of liquor, my body welcoming the familiar born of the spirit.

The sun was slowly setting, and the view from my window offered a great view of the garden bustling with activities. People were running back and forth, event planners setting up their display, and the maids helping out where they could. Everything looked just the way I felt, blue.

It was all I could hear in the pack’s mind link: how they were the perfect couple and how their union was exactly what the pack needed at the time.

I should draw my curtains and pretend I didn’t notice the entire pack almost vibrating with joy as they prepared for what many referred to as the wedding of the century.

But I was a masochistic son of a bitch and welcomed the sting of pain.

I tried reaching out for my wolf but he remained as quiet as he had been since the banquet night, refusing to engage or communicate. I couldn’t blame him. I did this to us.

When I told Michael to bring me the most important files from my desk, I hoped work would help, but I barely had the mind space to accommodate anything.

Black hair, blue-gray eyes, and a petite frame haunted my vision. I couldn’t believe I was losing her. I already knew she was gone, but this was tangible evidence. I took another swig of liquor, hating how fast the effect of alcohol wore off on supernaturals.

I don’t know how long I sat at that spot, but by the time I stood up, everything was pitch black. The commotion from the garden was gone, and there were about four bottles of Johnny Walker at my feet.

The world tipped slightly, causing me to hold on to walls as I made my way to the bathroom.

Sleep, drink, sleep some more, and then drink some more.

That had been my routine for the past few days.

But tonight, it didn’t seem like I would be getting any sleep.

Mira was at every corner of my thoughts and my room.

I couldn’t seem to escape myself tonight. I looked as miserable as I felt.

When I was sure almost half of the palace was asleep, I slipped out of my room, desperately hoping some fresh air and a walk would put me in order before tomorrow.

I’ve had a number of elders calling, and I still needed to be present at the ceremony. Elder John had been helpful with concealing my absence, especially after Lilith’s parents pulled their support, but there was only so much he could do. As crown prince, my duties came before personal obligations.

Somehow, I found myself in the library. I stood before the portraits of my parents hanging on the wall, partly apologizing for judging them so harshly and for what I had become.

The aisles were empty, and nothing interested me.

But when I got to the large oak table at the corner, it was clear why my heart led me here.

I could see a memory of Mira and I talking and laughing at the table.

During her short stay in the palace, the library had turned into a meet-up point of some sort for us, and almost all my interactions with her were at the table.

My fingers trailed the edges of the table, marveling at how much memory an inanimate object can hold. Then, a feminine silhouette that looked a lot like Mira appeared on my right.

A dry chuckle escaped my lips. I have moved from drunk and shitfaced to hallucinating. I shook my head in an attempt to clear the image, but it persisted, not moving from the spot.

My wolf stirred, and I froze. “Mira?” I muttered as though she would evaporate if my voice came out too strongly.

She stepped out from the shadowy corner, a vision in a white slip dress and tired eyes .

“Are you okay? Did Victor do anything wrong?” I asked, and even though my wolf urged me to get closer to her, I maintained a safe distance, not trusting my actions.

“I’m okay. I was just taking a walk,” she replied, sinking into the sofa next to the table. “Why are you here?”

“Me? I needed some errr, some air,” I stuttered, feeling like an absolute idiot.

The wind chose that moment to sweep through the library, and I had to brace myself on a shelf as the effects of my drinking were not completely gone.

“Are you drunk?” She asked, her eyes deep with concern.

I chuckled. “Only a little.”

A quiet moment passed before I decided to bare my heart. We were already at the finish line. What could I possibly have to lose?

“I’m really sorry about everything, Mira. I should’ve treated you better. I should have been the mate the moon goddess intended me to be to you.”

She let out a low laugh. “Now you’re suddenly a fan of the moon goddess?”

“I was a fool, and I was wrong.”

Another silent moment passed before she spoke. “Why?”

I lifted a questioning brow, urging her to go on.

“I have never met a man so hell-bent on proving the goddess wrong and refusing everything without a trial. What made you this way?”

“What made you this way?”

That was a great question, great enough to have me settling into the sofa next to her .

I toyed with the idea of letting her into my past, but I also didn’t want her pity. Eventually, emotions won over common sense, and I began my tale.

“My parents, they were the picture-perfect couple, the celebrated match for the season and the goddess’s most brilliant pair. I don’t know the point they discovered they weren’t meant to be, but when they did, they stayed together, maintaining that it was the will of the goddess.”

I sucked in a deep breath, wishing I had left my room with a bottle of liquor, while Mira soaked up my words like a sponge, her eyes filled with questions.

“To the outside world, they looked like a fairytale, but behind closed doors, I woke up to shouts and insults being hurled. Sometimes, the fights got so bad I had to hide from them.”

“Griffin…” Mira whispered, her voice strained.

“Don’t pity me, Mira. There are a lot of things you can give me. Pity shouldn’t be one of them. You asked me a question. Let me answer it.”

She swallowed her words, and I continued.

“For years, I asked questions about why they remained together, and I was told that the goddess makes no mistakes, and it was her will for them to be together. Eventually, Father got tired of it and sought comfort in the arms of a palace maid. Mather couldn’t take the shame and poisoned herself.

Father nursed a broken heart for years, mourning all his mistakes until his heart couldn’t take it anymore, and he finally joined her.

So, I vowed to choose. I promised I wouldn’t be a victim of the same fate that destroyed my parents.

I let the fear of ending up like them rid me of the best thing that had ever happened to me. ”

I felt her soft hand wrap around mine, drawing soft circles on my pal. “You should’ve told me. ”

“I didn’t think it mattered, and honestly, it wouldn’t have changed a thing. I was angry and deeply rooted in my resolve. There’s nothing you could’ve done to change the outcome. This was all me.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You sought to protect yourself from the cruel fate you were born into.”

“A venture that ended with me marrying the worst woman on earth and losing you. It wasn’t worth it.”

She didn’t say anything, but her fingers continued tracing circles on my skin, leaving a simmering flame beneath them.

“I love you, Mira. So much.”

I hadn’t noticed the words slip out, but once they were out, I felt oddly relieved, like a weight was lifted off my chest. The circles on my palms stopped.

“You can’t say things like that to me a few hours before my wedding,” she replied, her features taut and her eyes glued to the floor.

“Look at me, Mira.”

When she didn’t, I hooked my thumb beneath her chin, turning her head to me, but her eyes refused to meet mine.

“Please,” my voice was raw and needy, and I was slowly getting to the point where I didn’t mind begging.

She lifted her eyes, and I could see her wet lashes and glistening eyes. My heart dropped. I wanted to explain myself, but like the asshole I was, I somehow managed to make her cry.

I couldn’t find the words to console her, so I pulled her into a hug instead, soaking myself in her for the last time.

I don’t know how long the hug lasted, but as we slowly pulled apart, something was different in the air and the way she looked at me.

It was like we had arrived at a silent conclusion.

I didn’t wait for confirmation before I dipped my head and captured her lips in mine.