Page 13 of The Wives of Hawthorne Lane

Audrey

Hawthorne Lane

Audrey pulls up to the curb in front of her house, her tires crunching over the pavement. Normally, she’d park in the driveway, but tonight there’s a strange car in her usual spot.

Curious, Audrey steps out of her BMW and makes her way up the front walk, inspecting the unfamiliar vehicle—black, sleek, new, paper floor mats still in place—as she passes by. She wonders who it belongs to.

As she reaches for her doorknob, she feels a slight tick of annoyance.

She had a long day at the office, putting out fires for Top Cast ’s upcoming issue, and the last thing she wants is to play hostess to whoever Seth has invited to the house.

But, as it seems she was given no choice in the matter, she straightens herself in her heels and pushes open the door.

“Hello?” she calls into the unnervingly quiet house.

“In here,” Seth calls back, his voice trailing out of the kitchen.

Audrey’s heels click against the hardwood floor as she crosses through the living room to find her husband seated at the counter of their newly renovated kitchen, a glass of deep amber liquid set on the glossy slab of white Carrara marble in front of him.

She winces at the ring she knows it will leave behind.

Audrey scans the room, surprised to find him alone. “Whose car is that out front?”

“Huh?” Seth replies. “Oh, it’s a loaner. My car is in the shop.”

“Again? Didn’t you just bring it in for an oil change two weeks ago?”

Seth nods, pulls a draft of his drink. “Sure did. I swear they mess with it on purpose. Tinker with shit just so that you’ll have to come back and spend a fortune on repairs. The owner said something about a spark plug and needing to order a part.”

“The perils of owning a foreign car, I guess,” Audrey jests.

Seth huffs. “Oh, so now you’re some sort of car expert?”

Audrey’s eyebrows lift in surprise, her arms crossing defensively over her chest. “Excuse me?” She knows that Seth has been a bit…surly lately, but if he thinks he’s going to speak to her that way, he has another think coming. “Don’t—”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Seth is quick to disarm her, slumping over the counter and pushing the heels of his hands against his eyes. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I’m sorry. It’s just…I don’t even know how to say this. But it’s done, Audrey. It’s over.”

“What?” Audrey feels the blood drain from her face, her arms falling limply to her sides. He knows? About… him ? How did he find out? She has no choice now—she’s going to have to come clean. “Seth, I—”

“My publisher is dropping me.”

Audrey opens her mouth to reply but, stunned by the unexpected turn the conversation has taken, it takes her a moment to find the words. “Jesus, Seth. What happened?”

Seth picks up his drink, rattles the ice in his nearly empty glass. “It’s a long story. And I’m going to need a refill first.”

He slides off the stool and wobbles slightly as he lands on his feet, using the edge of the counter to steady himself before heading for the bar cart in the living room.

Audrey quickly pulls her phone from the purse on her shoulder and fires off a text:

Something came up. Can’t meet tonight.

A response comes almost immediately.

What the fuck? You said you could get away tonight. It’s been weeks, Audrey.

Audrey’s jaw clenches as her fingers angrily jab at the screen.

Like I said, something came up at home. Not going to work tonight.

She’s really getting tired of this, his sense that he’s entitled to her time and attention. She doesn’t know what gave him the impression that he gets to call the shots here, but she’s just about over it.

Audrey hears Seth’s shuffling footsteps growing louder as he nears the kitchen. She drops her phone back into her bag.

“Talk to me,” she says as she watches Seth arrange himself on a stool, and she takes a seat across from him, her eyes searching his face.

“Evidently, I’m ‘canceled.’?” He lifts his hands and makes clumsy air quotes on either side of his head as he spits the last word with distaste.

“Canceled?” Audrey’s phone buzzes in her bag. She ignores it. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” Seth replies, wiping a trail of whiskey from his chin with the cuff of his shirt, “that this delicate new generation thinks my books are out of touch. ” The disgust coils off him like fog lifting from a lake.

“Okay,” Audrey hedges, her mind revving into overdrive as she tries to think of a way to spin this.

Seth’s work is everything to him. This was his dream; the Detective Marlow series is his life’s work.

As much as Audrey sometimes resented Seth’s career, felt like she was jockeying with it for his time and attention, it breaks her heart to see it torn away from him like this.

“But they’re not your target audience anyway, right?

Your books have aways been aimed at an older crowd.

So maybe it won’t affect sales all that much.

” Her phone buzzes impatiently and Audrey clenches her hands into fists, her nails digging little crescent moons into her palms. He needs to stop.

Seth laughs wryly. “You’re not understanding how bad this is.

I’m a meme, Audrey. A laughingstock. People are review-bombing my books, leaving one-star reviews everywhere.

Calling me washed-up, a middle-aged has-been.

And not just on this new book either. It’s on all of them. My backlist is tanking too.”

“Oh my God…”

“My publisher already cut the cord. My agent says they won’t be optioning my next book. It’s over, Audrey. I’m finished.”

For the third time, Audrey’s phone vibrates loudly inside her bag.

“Do you need to get that?” Seth asks, thinly veiled annoyance hovering just beneath the surface.

“It’s probably work.” She fishes out her phone. “Let me just turn it off.”

A series of texts shine out at her defiantly from the screen.

Later tonight, then

Are you ignoring me?

This is bullshit

This isn’t a game, she thinks. This is my marriage, my life he’s messing with. He’s showing absolutely no respect for what’s on the line for Audrey. And sure, okay, she hasn’t exactly been the picture of marital morality lately, but he’s overstepping the bounds.

She wonders if it’s because she and Seth don’t have kids.

If this man thinks her marriage is somehow less valid because she’s chosen not to procreate.

Audrey sometimes gets the impression that people feel that way.

As if she and Seth are just playing house, that their lives, their family of two, couldn’t possibly be real, meaningful without children in it.

She hears the comments all the time: Don’t you want to experience motherhood?

Won’t you get bored? Are you sure you aren’t going to regret it someday?

I couldn’t imagine my life without my kids!

As if this were a decision either of them had made lightly.

It wasn’t. Audrey and Seth agreed very early on that family life wasn’t what they wanted.

They wanted to be able to travel on a whim; they wanted big careers that they knew would dominate their time and attention.

They’d understood that it was just as possible to have a fulfilling marriage without kids as it was to have an empty one with them.

Audrey feels Seth’s eyes boring into her as she glares down at the phone in her palm. “It’s the office. I’m going to tell them I’m unavailable and that I’ll deal with any issues tomorrow.” Audrey’s thumbs fly over the screen.

Her marriage might not be in the best place right now, but she can’t help but feel enraged by those texts, by the utter lack of consideration.

She told him she was dealing with a situation at home, and yet he continued to text her.

The more she thinks about it, the more it feels like he wants her to get caught.

You know what’s bullshit? You not listening to me when I tell you it’s not a good time. You need to stop texting me.

Feeling slightly better now that she’s taken back the reins, she follows up with another message:

In fact, I don’t think this arrangement is working for me anymore.

Audrey is surprised by how much she means it. When the affair first began, it felt so good to feel wanted again, to feel seen and appreciated. But this isn’t feeling very good at all anymore.

Three little dots appear on her phone screen. Audrey knows he’s not going to be happy, but she switches her phone off before he can respond. She can’t waste her time thinking about his feelings anymore. Not when Seth needs her. When was the last time he needed her?

She looks over at her husband, sipping slowly from his glass. He looks smaller, somehow, folded in on himself, as if he’s already given up hope.

Audrey doesn’t know what she was thinking. How could she have been so selfish? She made a mistake getting involved with someone else, but it’s over now; Seth needs her and she’s going to be right here by his side.