Page 42 of The Witches Catalogue of Wanderlust Essentials (Natural Magic #2)

Chapter 24

Burnside Porter’s Famous Lecture

“T his isn’t the Mudpuddle,” Will exclaimed as they crashed through the screen and onto the stage of the darkened theater.

“Where are we?” Zani exclaimed, still clinging to Will’s back. “When are we?”

“Settle down.” Burnside removed his cloak and shook it out. “Remind me how I reset this thing? It’s 1978, and we’re in Baltimore. Welcome to the Charles Theater.”

“Pardon?” Zani jumped down and snatched the cape from Burnside. She looked livid. “What the flaming fewmets are we doing here? I thought you were taking us home.”

“I will. Just had to make a quick pit stop first. I’m starving. Is anyone else hungry?” Burnside asked.

“I could eat…” Will admitted. He didn’t want to make a scene, but even though he’d eaten both sandwiches in the 17th century, his tank was already approaching empty again. Time travel was far more depleting than regular porting.

“There’s a place not far from here—Gampy’s. We can port right through to the kitchen. They make the most amazing Monte Christo sandwiches.”

“It’s worth the trip back here just for that, isn’t it, old man?” A voice rang out from the booth up above.

“It sure is!” Burnside gave a wave to his younger self. “I forget what’s playing tonight. Anything good?”

“It’s a double feature,” the younger Burnside said. “Spies and spaceships, nothing like the movies we used to make back in the day.”

“Well, that’s what happens when you try to substitute ‘technology’ for magic, right?” Older Burnside waved. “Thanks for letting us use the theater. We’d best be off now.”

“It’s technically your theater, too. And thanks for getting me out of that lecture.” The younger Burnside grinned. “I really did not know what I was going to say. I’ve been so busy with this place. I think the patrons really appreciate the fact that we use real butter on the popcorn.”

“It’s the little things,” older Burnside shouted. “Keep up the good work!” He turned back to Will and Zani, speaking more quietly from the corner of his mouth like a ventriloquist. “Not sure I should thank myself for doing that lecture. Feels pretty weird. I’m about to get banned from the entire Ordinary speaking circuit with this one.”

And with this, he opened another portal. “Come on, kids.” Burnside smiled. “I promise this will be worth your while. We’ll stop and have some lunch. I’ll do my infamous lecture and have you both home by suppertime.”

“What do you think?” Will glanced back at Zani. She’d lost weight in the 17th century, and she looked tired. Much as he wanted to hear Burnside’s lecture, he didn’t want to push it. “We can split off and head home if you don’t want to stay. I think we’re fine to get back on our own.”

“I could eat,” Zani admitted. She wrapped her arms around Will’s neck. He crouched slightly and reached around his back, placing his hands to give her backside a boost. “To tell you the truth, a fried sandwich sounds heavenly right now, and who knows when I’ll have another chance to visit the 1970s?”

“Wait till you taste the raspberry sauce,” Burnside crooned. Will could feel his own mouth watering.

“You’re sure?” Will placed one tentative hand on Burnside’s shoulder and turned his head back toward Zani’s face. Her long hair brushed his cheek. It smelled of orange blossoms and sunshine. The perfume of Versailles still clung to her.

“If you want to go, I’m happy to go with you. Just don’t leave me again, okay? There’s so much I need to tell you, Will. So much I’ve learned about the bloodstone. I met Cosimo again at Versailles–”

With a whoosh, Burnside’s portal popped open. Will reached out and placed a second hand on the older man’s shoulders.

“Hang on!” Burnside shouted. “I already called in our order and reserved a private booth. We’ll be there in three…two...”

Will took a single step forward. When he lifted his second foot, it collided with the front of a cigarette vending machine. The machine was located outside the men’s room in a dark and smoky paneled hallway.

“Ouch!” Will exclaimed. Cosimo’s name still rang in his ears like a sonic boom. He felt the worm of jealousy slithering in his gut once more, and struggled to subdue it as Zani wriggled off his back. She bent over to examine the cigarette machine.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of these things up close, in real life, with cigarettes in them! I’ve only seen them repurposed to sell art at Ordinary clubs in our time. There’s a secret apothecary in Berlin that uses antique vending machines like this to dispense potions.”

“So sorry about that!” Burnside’s head peeked out from the door to the restroom. “I really needed to use the facilities. Was thinking about that and overshot the mark a bit. The booth’s right around the corner. Why don’t you two go get settled? I’ll just be a minute.”

Will tried not to think about Cosimo and whatever he’d told Zani. He tried not to wonder how much time the two of them had spent together at Versailles. Three months! She said she had been there for three whole months.

But she hadn’t wanted to stay. She’d been happy to see him. He tried to focus on that fact, as Zani grabbed his hand and pulled him around the corner to their booth. She seemed more energized now. Perhaps it was the return to modern times. Or perhaps it was the delicious smells of freshly fried foods wafting through the air of the dimly lit restaurant. The dining room was dark and mysterious, lit only by the scattered neon lights on the wall. Framed posters of melodramatic cartoon characters, mid swoon or about to kiss, added additional flair. Will had to admit he liked the ambiance at this place. It felt like a safe harbor, almost as if it existed outside of time, or perhaps in its own little universe inside of a Gearheart Locket.

True to his word, Burnside had ordered ahead, though Will couldn’t guess when, or which version of the man had placed the order. All he knew was that he was grateful when they rounded the corner and saw the lavish spread waiting on the table. Steam rose from the plates of fries. The most delicious aroma came from a miniature cauldron of bubbling cheese. A tiny tea light flickered beneath it.

“You guys are with Burnie? He’s the best. Let me know if you want anything else!” The eager young server smiled, exposing his plastic fangs. He had blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. Will did a double take, instinctively flinching away. “Chill out, man, it’s Halloween. They’re just plastic!” The server handed them a menu.

Despite the scare, Will was starving. He sat down and dug into the feast.

“You’re starting with French Fries? I’m going straight to that Monte Christo sandwich. Mystic miracles! It looks amazing!” Zani slid to the back of the circular booth. She shrugged her satchel off her shoulder and reached out for one half of the deep-fried concoction. When she bit into it, her eyes half closed. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had anything this hot and delicious?” She dunked the sandwich into a dish of raspberry sauce and took another bite. This time, her eyes nearly rolled back in her head. “Oh my snozzberries, Will. You’ve got to try this.” She shoved the other half at him.

The menu was oversized and extensive. It divided food into fun categories like Mood Food, Wet Food, Big Food, and Food on Bread. There was an entire section dedicated to different flavors of fondue.

“Why don’t we have anything like this in our time?” Will fanned himself with the menu to help dissipate some of the heat from the spicy jalapeno fondue he was overindulging in. “I think it would make for a perfect port stop if you could just locate it on the right ley line nexus.”

Zani set down her sandwich at the mention of ley lines. “Speaking of ley lines,” she said, “I learned quite a bit more from Cosimo about the bloodstone and Celestial Sapphire, and how it’s all related. Do you want me to tell you now, or should we wait till we get back to our own time?”

“You make it sound as if it’s urgent.” Will frowned and reached out with a napkin to wipe a little raspberry sauce off her chin. “So Cosimo really enlightened you then?” His stomach was twisted in knots. He wanted to hear what she had learned. But he didn’t want to hear about Cosimo. “Do you still think he stole the stone back from you?”

“I’m not sure I do.” Zani slurped some fizzy fountain soda through a straw and closed her eyes again. “Oh, fairy foofies, that’s good stuff. Do you know how hard it was to get a sugar fix in the seventeenth century?”

“Mmmhmm.” Will nodded. “So you don’t think Cosimo stole it?”

“I’m not sure,” Zani admitted. “Even he wasn’t sure. All I can tell you is that Cosimo of the seventeenth century couldn’t get rid of that stone fast enough. He wanted nothing to do with it.”

“How much time exactly did you spend with Cosimo in the seventeenth century?” Will asked, trying not to seem jealous as he dragged a French fry savagely through some ketchup.

“Are you jealous, Will?” Zani’s eyes grew wide as she studied him. “There’s no need to bludgeon that potato stick. I assure you, my interest in Cosimo is purely professional. I only saw him once. And the only topic we discussed was the bloodstone. He told me exactly how he made it and how it’s cursed.”

“What’s this?” Burnside slid into the booth and cut her off. He seemed far less rumpled, but even more aged. Almost as if he’d come back from a twenty year long shower with a new set of clothing. Which, Will reflected, was entirely possible. “You’re talking shop? Not in my booth. This is a sacred space. We don’t discuss anything serious here! Not until after dessert. Now pass me my sandwich!”

An hour later, Will and Zani were following Burnside across the campus of Johns Hopkins University.

“This is a critical moment in progressive magical history,” Burnside whispered. “It marks the first intentional integration of magical folk with Ordinaries at a mainstream university. This year’s freshman class includes forty-two witches and twenty-seven shifters from all around the world.”

Burnside was providing context for the lecture he was about to deliver while they walked through the quad at a fast clip. The talk was to take place in Gilman Hall. It had been advertised to both magical and Ordinary students. Flyers were posted throughout the physics and engineering buildings, as well as the notice boards in front of the freshman dorms. The talk was well publicized. But as they crossed the campus and kept seeing students in costume, Will wondered if the holiday would affect Burnside’s turnout.

“Has the mixed university population experiment ever been repeated?” Will shot a glance at Zani. He knew she had attended an Ordinary university, with Maida as her roommate. It wasn’t entirely uncommon in their time for this to happen. But it was far from the norm.

As far as Will knew, most magical folk still kept to themselves, and maintained the veil that separated themselves from the Ordinaries. Few Ordinaries could handle the shock of enlightenment without going mad. “Isn’t this rather a risk for the Ordinaries?”

“The Ordinaries here are not enlightened.” Burnside put the fear to rest. “They perceive the magical folk as creative, eccentric, and odd.” He made a wry face as if to say go figure ! “But they can’t quite put their finger on it. The real experiment is the co-mingling of witches and shifters. This never would have been accepted in a purely magical setting. It could only have happened on an Ordinary Campus.”

“Makes total sense to me,” Zani interjected. She hitched her satchel up on her shoulder and tossed her period appropriate feathered hair over her shoulder. There hadn’t been time to style it. It was just part of the cloak’s magic. Will thought she looked fantastic in a close-fitting wrap dress and wooden clogs. Much better than he looked in the tight bell bottoms and pointed-collar polo the other cloak had chosen for him. He didn’t love the look of his platform shoes, either. Burnside had been more prepared. He’d changed into his own clothing from the era. He now looked every inch the natty professor in a corduroy jacket with leather patches at the elbow.

“I was hardly the only magical student in my class, shifter or otherwise,” Zani continued, “but we were so few and far between, we had to stick together. We were far more accepting of each other than the general magic population.”

“Did your social circle include many vampires, then?” Will teased. But he was only half teasing. He was curious if Zani’s open-minded attitude toward vampires went back to her college days.

“No, Will.” She rolled her eyes. “There were no vampires at my school. At least not while we were there. Having a vampire at large on a college campus is never an ideal situation. I think we’ve all seen the films.” She touched his arm reassuringly. “I don’t think vampires would have been my thing as an undergrad, anyway.” Her lips twisted as she attempted to repress a smile.

“Who was your type, then?” Will tried to downplay his curiosity by pausing and pretending to read a flyer tacked to a tree. The bottom of it was snipped into fringe and someone had handwritten a phone number onto each scrap. He tore off one and crumpled it absentmindedly in his palm.

“I was into my professors.” Zani cracked a grin, laughing at herself. Burnside stood a little straighter and adjusted his tie. “Are you looking for a roommate in 1978, Will?” Zani gestured at the flyer, and the scrap of paper he was still worrying in his hand.

“You never know!” Will shoved it in his pocket.

As they continued to make progress across campus, Will searched his memory for what he knew about the school. The name Johns Hopkins was familiar to him, not just for the medical research and scientific discoveries the school was famous for. There was a closer connection.

“Wait a moment…” Will stopped in his tracks. “Didn’t Buffalo Westabrook go to college here?” That was the reason the name of the Ordinary school was so familiar to him. Will didn’t think he’d heard him speak of it, but he’d seen the degree hanging in Buffalo’s office.

“Indeed, he did.” Burnside smiled knowingly. “Along with a few others whose names you might recognize.” He pointed at a red brick building, stopping them before they turned the corner and hustling them to a plain, unmarked door. “Come, we’re here. Let’s go to the side entrance to avoid the crowds. They’ll be lining up right about now.”

Once inside, Burnside led them down a corridor that smelled of floor wax and old books. The forest green walls were lined with display cases full of academic treasures from the archaeology and anthropology departments. For an Ordinary school, Will thought it felt quite magical. At last, they reached the lecture hall.

Will and Zani settled into their front row seats while Burnside went off to greet some colleagues and prepare for his speech. Will enjoyed studying the students filtering in and filling the back rows. A part of him wished he could join them. He’d always been a back-of-the-auditorium kind of student. It was always easier to pass notes and whisper there.

He could tell that Zani was enjoying people watching as well. Even the Ordinary students were fascinating to observe, arguing as they were over the possibility of time travel. That so many of the students were wearing costumes only made it more fun to guess at who or what they really were. Each time a magical student entered the lecture hall, she poked him in the ribs. Twice she whispered in his ear with guesses about the variety of shifter.

“Wicked Arcana, I think she’s a platypus !” Zani’s eyes bugged. “An actual Platypus shifter in an Ordinary platypus costume! That’s a first!”

While Will wasn’t as good at identifying shifter types as Zani, there was one couple that entered the lecture hall, arm in arm, that he would have known anywhere.

“Will! Is that…?” Zani pinched his leg unnecessarily to get his attention.

“Yesss, be cool,” Will hissed, exhaling almost all his breath, and then holding it. He took Zani’s hand in his and squeezed it as Buffalo Westabrook and Larkspur Lathrop made their way toward them.

“I wish Maida was here to see them.” Zani breathed in.

Will was thinking the same thing. Even in her gothically inspired vampire costume, there was no mistaking the platinum-haired beauty who was the mother of their good friend. She looked so much like Maida. Same hair, same eyes, same height and build. Yet the sum total of this woman was an entirely different figure. She was haughty. She demanded attention without having earned it. Her costume was showy, her attitude rude. He hated to admit it, but he didn’t care much for Larkspur. She was practically hauling the oversized Buffalo shifter behind her, completely oblivious to his discomfort. Buffalo wore no costume. His scowl was enough. When he shrugged her off, she tapped a long nail against an oversized gem glowing malevolently at her throat. Will did a double take. If he didn’t know better, he’d think that amulet was real.

He nudged Zani beside him, but she was staring steadfastly at the floor, determined not to make eye contact.

“I can’t believe she spoke to me that way. It’s my family’s archives and none of her business!” Larkspur was saying. “I put flyers up all over campus. Don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll find someone else to live with soon, Buffy. Amrita can suck a dragon’s egg. We’re still on for the party after this, right?”

Buffy ?

Will felt Zani stiffen beside him. Never in a million years would he have believed anyone called his fearsome boss Buffy and lived to tell the tale.

He suspected Zani’s thoughts were similar as she squeezed his hand harder. They both stared at the floor now, attempting to look inconspicuous. Will felt very aware of his age and hoped it would make him less noticeable to the pair as they approached. Middle-aged people were basically invisible to him when he was their age.

“Thank goodness for the wards,” Zani whispered just as Larkspur passed.

“What wards?” Larkspur spun on her high wooden heel to stare suspiciously at Zani. “Who are you? You’re old. You’re not a student here.”

“We’re friends with Burnside,” Will offered, lamely, barely looking up. “He invited us to the lecture.” He was still quite taken with the similarities to Maida. Beside her, Buffalo kicked at the carpet. He looked up briefly to scan the crowd and, not seeing whomever he was looking for, turned his back on them so he could watch the door.

“You look familiar.” Larkspur narrowed her eyes at Will. “My mother’s cousin Quentin and you are dead ringers. Funny, because he’s really into Fae, too. Got himself written right out of the famous Lathrop family for his extracurriculars!” She stared at Will’s telltale ears and tapped one of her own. “No offense, Fairy.”

“None taken,” Will choked out. He was grateful for the tight squeeze of Zani’s fingers laced with his own.

“We should take a seat before all the good ones are gone, Larkspur.” Buffalo placed a hand on her back, scanning the middle of the auditorium for unclaimed seats. “There’s a couple back there.”

“Okay, but I don’t want to sit by those nerdy Ordinaries. They’re always hitting on me.” Larkspur’s voice trailed off as they walked away.

“Hobgoblin spit! Can you believe that was them?” Zani whispered.

Will shook his head. There was a lot he wanted to say, but not there, not now.

“I think you took her number… that flyer?” Zani noticed. Will felt the paper balled in his pocket.

“Thank goodness Buffalo didn’t look at us. I didn’t think we’d need the Nip Clips here…”

“Shhh,” Will hushed her. “It’s probably best if we wait to chat about all this.”

He was still thinking about Larkspur’s necklace. Maybe he was crazy, but it resembled the sketch from the Thai food menu. He wished that he’d had the chance to examine it more closely and show it to Zani.

The lecture hall was nearly full now. There was the scrape and clatter of chairs being shifted around. A couple of student volunteers cleared the stage and prepped the podium. One of them tapped the mic, producing a startling screech that caused a couple of pigeon shifter students in the back row to spontaneously shift. They flapped around the vaulted ceiling for a moment, causing a general hubbub before flying out the window that another magical student opened for them.

It was during this kerfuffle that a serious-looking young witch slipped in. Raven-haired, dark-skinned, and small of stature, she didn’t bother scanning the auditorium for friends, as most of the other students had. Her simple black satin witch costume suited her perfectly. She restricted her gaze to the front row and, seeing an empty seat next to Will, proceeded there directly.

“Excuse me. Is this seat taken?” she asked politely.

“Not at all. It’s all yours.” Will met her eye, recognizing her at once. This intense young woman could be, would be, none other than Amrita Berman, the impressive director of the Society for the Protection of Natural Magic, in his own time.

“Thank you.” The witch settled into her seat. “I was studying and lost track of the time. I was afraid I would be too late to get a seat.” She smiled kindly. “I almost wished I had a time machine to get me here earlier. Sort of ironic, being late to a lecture about time travel, no?”

“Totally,” Will agreed, elbowing Zani, who was still preoccupied with Buffalo and Larkspur. She kept craning her neck backward to steal glances at them and was currently attempting to spy with her compact. Will wondered if she was seeing what he saw.

“You’re not from here, are you?” Amrita studied Will. “I haven’t seen you on campus before.”

“We’re friends of Burnside’s.” Will supplied the same simple story to Amrita that he’d given to Larkspur. Simple and true.

“Right.” Amrita nodded, a small smile playing about her lips. “And your girlfriend?” She nodded at Will’s hand, still clenching Zani’s.

“She’s a friend of Burnside’s too.” Will swallowed. “We were both in town because, uh..”

“We had a layover in Baltimore. We’re on a trip researching an artifact.” Zani leaned forward to add her two cents. Her eyes grew wide as she realized who she was speaking to.

“What artifact is that?” Amrita asked casually, looking over her program. “I’m rather obsessed with artifacts myself.” She toyed with the fringe on her shawl as she looked at Zani.

“The bloodstone amulet of Catherine De Medici,” Zani blurted out, looking miserable in the process. A second later, she frowned. “You just compelled me to tell you that, didn’t you? That’s not very polite!”

“No, it wasn’t, I’m so sorry.” Amrita threw off the shawl. “It’s this blasted shawl, I think. My roommate borrowed it and did something to it. I keep forgetting it’s spelled to collect gossip. Take it. I don’t want it.” She tossed the shawl into Zani’s lap.

Zani examined the delicately crocheted garment and Will could see the wheels turning in her head.

“Are you sure? It’s quite a lovely shawl,” Zani said.

“It’s all yours. Just be careful what you wish for when you wear it. It’s not a lot of fun when you end up hearing things you didn’t want to know.” Amrita glanced over her shoulder, ever so briefly, in the direction of Buffalo and Larkspur, and winced. “Let’s just say my roommate borrowed way more than my scarf, and some things you don’t just help yourself to.”

“What things?” Zani asked.

“Boyfriends, precious artifacts, the last of my custom blended shampoo and conditioner…” Amrita rattled off a list.

Will opened his mouth to say something. He wanted to ask her about the necklace, if that was the artifact she was referring to, but no words came out. The tattoo on his wrist grew warm. He noticed the way Amrita’s eye teared up after glancing back at the couple, and tried to find the right words to comfort her.

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine without him,” Will said. He patted the young witch’s arm. “Anyone who doesn’t choose you would have to be a fool.”

Amrita sniffled and took a moment to regain her composure before she turned back to the lectern.

“Sometimes I wish time travel was real,” she said. “I’d love to know how some things will work out in the end. But then again, I worry it might be like that scarf. I might be better off not knowing things I’m not meant to know.” She eyed Will and Zani with a certain canny curiosity, almost as if taking stock, and adding up a sum. “I’d rather study the present. You never know what you might need to recall in the future.”

Will could see the gooseflesh rising on Zani’s arm. It mirrored the bumps on his own.

“But what if, forearmed with that knowledge, you could go back and change something?” Zani asked Amrita. “Without doing damage to the timeline, or anything else,” she quickly amended. Will knew she was thinking about the train again. He’d hoped she’d moved on.

“I don’t actually know if that’s possible.” Amrita shrugged. “What’s done is done, don’t you think? That’s just life. We all want something from time that it isn’t meant to give.”

Eighteen years old. She was only eighteen years old. But in her case, this did not matter. Amrita Berman, the future Director of the Society, was still one of the wisest women he’d ever encountered.

There was no time to talk anymore, as the lights began to flicker on and off in a request for silence. Burnside Porter was finally taking the stage.