Page 57 of The Witch who Trades with Death

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Khana knew she should offer to help Heimili, but the idea of being with other people made her skin crawl. She wanted to hide from the world, so that’s what she did. While Heimili, Tlastisti, and the unit had a subdued celebration, she went upstairs to her room, took off her boots, and sat on her bed, leaning against the wall.

Her hands found the lute resting against the furs. She plucked a few strings, listening to the sound swirl within the stone walls. A melody formed, slow and mournful, grieving everything she’d lost and was about to lose. Because Yamueto would return. He would win. And she’d be back in his clutches. If she asked Phramanka or Heimili to burn her body and then killed herself, would they honor her wishes? Neta probably would, though she’d be disappointed.

She was still thinking it over when Sava poked his head into her room. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Can I come in?”

She shifted down the bed. Sava joined her, brushing against her shoulder.

They sat in silence for a while, the only sound Khana’s mournful lute melody. Sava let out a shaky breath, his eyes red. “He told me once that he wanted to be a soldier not for glory or respect, but so his life would have meaning. I wish I had found a way to tell him that it already did. That even if he’d never put on a uniform, losing him would be like losing a lung.”

“I think Bhayana put those thoughts there,” Khana said. “Or at least made them worse.”

“He looked so scared and angry, when…” Sava shook his head. “Why did the emperor take his body?”

She swallowed. “Because… I know how to bring back the dead.”

Sava blinked. “What?”

The words spilled out of her: “You make a deal with Death, but you have to sacrifice a part of yourself. A significant part. When I tried to revive Sita, Death told me they’d need something like my conscience or emotions. Giving them my memories is how I get extra aji without draining anyone. But that’s not enough to bring back a human soul. Or immortality, or the ability to create night creatures, which is what Yamueto got when he traded his compassion. But I can’t be like Yamueto, Sava. I can’t!”

He stared at her, slack-jawed. She stared back.

“Have you told anyone else this?” he asked.

“Heimili knows. Amati knew. And Haz….”

“Keep it that way. We wouldn’t want…” He let out a breath. “That’s a power that would be too easy to abuse.”

She slumped back against the wall, sliding so she was against his shoulder. “Thank you. For understanding.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” He pulled something out of his cloak. “Here.”

A coin purse bulged in his hand. Khana frowned, taking it. “What?”

“It’s from our emergency stash. We have plenty more,” he said. “I know a tundra guide. He’s agreed to escort you to the city.”

Khana hadn’t known her heart could break any further. “You’re sending me away?”

“Ma’s not declaring evacuation yet,” he said. “She thinks there’s a chance we can still win if we hold out for reinforcements. But when it comes to you, I don’t know if we can–” He stopped, biting the inside of his cheek. His eyes were wet. “I don’t know if this town will protect you,” he admitted. “The Pinnsviris still want to offer you as a bargaining chip, and now the Cituvas agree.”

Distantly, Khana thought that Neta was going to have words with her relatives when she heard about that. But now, the coin purse weighed a thousand pounds in her hand, and Sava wasn’t looking at her. “You… don’t want me here?”

“Of course I want you here!” he burst. “But that doesn’t matter. Not when that means …” He huffed and turned so he was facing her completely. He took her face in his hands and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “I want you to stay with me. To explore what we have. Watching you make a place for yourself here, building up your courage and community, I can’t even put that into words. You’ve helped me heal, helped me find my courage again, and I wish…”

She leaned into his hands, vision blurring. He brushed her tears away with his thumb, hardly seeming to notice the ones falling down his own cheeks.

“I don’t know what Yamueto has in store for you,” he said. “But I know it’s bad enough that you begged us to kill you rather than send you back. I’ll be damned before I let that happen. So please: take the money, take the guide – take your whole damn unit if you want – and get out of here. As far as you can.”

She dropped the coin purse and lute, curling her hands around his wrists. “Come with me,” she begged. “You and me, and your parents, and our friends…”

He shook his head. “This is our home. We won’t leave until we have to. And probably not even then.”

Khana opened her mouth, but no words came out. She wanted to scream but couldn’t make a sound.

Sava rested his forehead against hers. “Haz told me you enlisted to look after him, and that he felt guilty for it. That’s why he kept looking after you, especially in fights. He didn’t want you getting killed for his sake, and I refuse to let you be killed for ours.”

“Yamueto will kill you,” she croaked. “You can’t stop it.”

“No, but we can slow him down. Long enough for you to get to the coast, at least.”

He kissed her. It was all salt and no grace. It was good-bye.

Sava pulled away, visibly steeling himself, and stood. “Leave before nightfall,” he said. “We’ll hold him off as long as we can.”