Page 51

He raised his head. “Thank you, cara.” His voice was grave.

She buried her cheek on the soft wiry mat on his chest and his fingers reached up to tangle in her hair. “Why do you not speak?”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m too full—” She broke off as she felt the reverberation of his laughter beneath her ear and she realized her unintentional play on words. “Well, that too.”

He flexed lazily within her. “If you think I’m going to leave you yet, you are very much mistaken.

I’ve waited too long to reach this haven to withdraw until I’ve sated both of us.

” He pushed her away from him to smile down at her with surprising sweetness.

“I think you’ll like this game far better than chess.

Shall we move to another square? There are many strategies left to test.”

“Not yet. I’m not sure how I even came to this point.”

“I am sure.” His hands cupped her breasts.

“And it was not the vino . I seduced you. I think I did it very well considering I’ve never attempted to lure a woman to my bed before.

My nature is usually too rough and blunt for seduction.

I would never have succeeded if you hadn’t already wanted me as much as I wanted you.

” His hand moved down and began to stroke her belly.

“Do you believe it possible I’ve given you a child?

” He laughed softly. “Do you feel me stir? I grow ready just thinking about my child moving in you and—” He broke off as he felt her stiffening against him. “Sanchia?”

“I didn’t consider a child. I didn’t…” Panic was rising within her. “How could I be so stupid?” She began to struggle but he held her immovable against him. “Let me go, Lion.”

“No.” His voice was fierce. “You want to be here.” His hand lay heavy on her belly and he began to rub slowly back and forth. “And you want my child in your womb. I used no force. You took my seed willingly.”

“The child would be a bastard and I a whore. I’ve lived only a shadow life since the moment I was born, and now you want me to live in those shadows for the rest of my life.” Her hands pushed at his shoulders. “I should not have done this. I should not have let you—”

“Do you think I would not give you marriage if I could?” His hands grasped her shoulders with bruising force. “Do you want me to murder Bianca so that I can take you as my wife?”

Her eyes widened in horror. “No, I didn’t mean—” “I cannot undo my marriage. As God is my witness, I wish I could.” His eyes were fierce in his set face. “I cannot make you my wife. I can only make you my love.”

“Love?” she whispered.

“It must be love. I told you I had feeling for you. What else could it be?”

“You did not say you loved me.”

“The word is hard for me.” His hands opened and closed on her shoulders. “I’ve never said it before.” He burst out, “I’ve never felt it before. I can’t say I like it. It twists my gut and makes me want to smash something.”

“It doesn’t sound like love.”

The fierceness faded from his expression as he looked down at her.

“It also makes me wish to…treasure you. To care for your needs and protect and defend you.” He slowly lifted her off him.

“And to have you feel something besides lust for me. I know I can rouse you to want to lie with me but—Why do you sit there and say nothing?”

“I’m confused. I never expected you to say these words.”

“And I never expected to say them.” He gazed at her directly. “You have no love for me?”

“I don’t know.” She shivered. “Dio , I hope not.”

A flicker of pain crossed his face. “You are honest, at least.” He shrugged. “So I must depend on lust to draw you to me. It was no more than I anticipated. Lust and perhaps my child in your body.” He turned toward the fire.

She began dressing quickly, in a fever to be gone.

He glanced over his shoulder. “You’re in a great hurry. Do you think I mean to keep you locked here in my tower room to use for my pleasure?”

“Of course not.” Her trembling fingers made a futile attempt to tidy her hair. “I’ve already been in one prison for your sake. You would not cast me into another.” She moved toward the door.

“Unless I cast myself into it with you.”

She undid the bolt and threw open the door. “And you would not do such a foolish thing. You love your freedom too much.”

“Sanchia.”

She stopped, not looking at him.

“Do you believe me when I say I love you?”

“I don’t know.” She turned to face him. “I have a question for you. Was it your intention to lure me here only to get me with child?”

“What do you think?”

“I think you capable of it.”

“You’re quite right.” His smile was bittersweet. “I’m capable of most acts of ruthlessness, but I thought you knew I had no liking for deception.”

She was again aware of pain beneath the toughness he wore like armor, and that perception awoke an answering hurt within herself so sharp she instinctively took a half step toward him.

“I do know you’re an honest man. I did not mean…

” She shook her head wearily. “I spoke without thinking. I didn’t believe I would be so weak as to let you couple with me again.

It frightens me to realize I’m not as strong as I thought I was.

” She straightened and gazed intently at him.

“But it will not happen again. I am on guard now.”

“It will happen again,” he said quietly.

“And again and again. I’ll waylay you in the garden, I’ll pull you into any vacant chamber that has a bed, a quilt, or a cushion on the floor.

It will keep on happening until you admit you want what we’re doing more than food or drink or sleep.

Until you let me take you away from here to live with me. ”

He meant it. Once again Sanchia felt panic rising within her. She muttered an exclamation that was half despair, half protest, turned and fled from the chamber and down the spiral steps.

She stopped at the bottom of the first flight of stairs and leaned her cheek against the cold stone of the wall.

She could not go back to the hall and face Caterina and Bianca.

She had betrayed both of them. She had betrayed herself.

She could feel the tears sting her eyes as she ran down two more flights of stairs and along the corridor toward Bianca’s chamber.

She would go to bed. She would go to sleep and not think of Lion or the way his face had looked when he had said he loved her or her own agonizing response to his words.

It couldn’t be love between them. Wouldn’t love bring joy?

Marco and Bianca loved each other and the joy shone from their faces.

Surely if she loved Lion, it would be the same?

The tears were running down Sanchia’s cheeks as she paused outside Bianca’s chamber. She had forgotten Bianca’s maid, Anna, would be waiting up for her mistress. Sanchia could not arouse Anna’s curiosity with these stupid tears or she would doubtless mention it to Bianca.

She turned and ran down the hall to the chamber which Piero occupied next door, quietly opened the door, and slipped into the room.

The fire in the fireplace had burned low and only the orange-red embers sparked up the chimney.

The faint glow revealed Piero’s fair hair gleaming on the pillow on the big bed across the room, and Sanchia immediately felt as if a cool, soothing hand had been laid upon her heart.

Here was a love with no pain, a love that would leave her with honor and independence.

Whole. She moved closer to the bed and looked down at Piero.

His long lashes curved on his round cheek, and he appeared even younger than his six years now that she could no longer see the wariness in those bright blue eyes.

Even as the thought occurred to her, his eyes opened to gaze up at her. He was instantly awake. “Sanchia.”

“Shh, all is well. I wanted to make sure you were sleeping.” She tucked the coverlet more closely around him. “It was a fine, splendid party. I’ll tell you all about it in the morning.”

He raised himself on one elbow. “Why are you crying?”

She wiped her eyes swiftly with the back of her hand. “No reason. I’m merely tired.”

“You don’t cry when you’re tired. Is your hand hurting?”

“No, next week I’ll take off the splints and it will be quite well.” She reached out and smoothed his hair. “Go back to sleep. I’ll sit here awhile.”

His gaze searched her face and then he shook his head. “Lie down. I want you to hold me until I go to sleep. Will you do that, Sanchia?”

She hesitated and then lay down on the bed beside him. “Why do you want me to hold you? Are you afraid of the dark?”

“Of course not. I’m not afraid of anything.” The denial came fiercely. “I just thought it would be…nice.” His arms came around her and he held her tightly. “Good night, Sanchia.”

“Good night, Piero,” she whispered. Her throat was so tight she could scarcely speak.

She was obviously not lying here to comfort, but to be comforted.

Piero, with that instinctive wisdom he had learned so young, had comprehended her pain and bewilderment and was trying to soothe it in the only way he knew how.

Her heart swelled with poignant tenderness as she nestled closer to the warmth of Piero’s small body.

Yes, this was the only love she wanted in her life. This was the best kind of love.

“You’ve made this garden into an Elysian field.” Lorenzo’s gaze ran admiringly over the rows and rows of brilliant blooms as they walked slowly toward the arbor. “I’ve always liked to stroll among your roses.”