Page 20

Aire

I watched in astonishment as he, using his fork and knife, cut a rash of bacon into three, piled all pieces on top of a small square piece of toast, dunked into an open boiled egg and ate. How can he be so casual when last night literally changed my life? How can he talk about last night being something that would never happen, implying he regretted it, only to turn around a few moments later and suggest we 'continue' our 'relationship?'

My body was still deliciously sore, and every throb reminded me of how I came apart in his arms. It was as though he had left an invisible mark that only I could feel. And yet he was less affected by the experience than I was. Maybe that's how the more sophisticated, sexually liberal people did it, but I was too inexperienced to act like him. Even when I knew he was being rational when he said he would only sleep with me once, hearing him say that to his brother had still hurt. But he wasn't as cool as he pretended to be. I'm pretty sure I saw a flash of jealousy pass through his face when his brother kissed me on the cheek. And now he was talking about extending our agreement from one night to indefinite.

Until one of us gets bored.

He didn't want to say he would be the one to 'get bored' of me than the other way round, true as it was. Was there any harm in saying yes? It's not like I would fall in love with him. It was obvious he had no feelings for me. Grandfather would like this, though. I don't know what he has planned, but he wants me to have Nolan's child. I am not on birth control, and even though we used a condom last night, who knows what will happen in the future?

"So you like me now." I smirked. "I should have known you wouldn't be able to stay away."

His lip curled. Good. It was working. I chuckled. "You men are all the same. You swear up and down that you don't want us, but one night is all it takes to flush your principles down the drain."

"Please. You were the one who failed the test, remember?"

"And you are the one who's begging for seconds."

He turned his gaze down to his plate. "Forget I said anything."

I won this round. The minor victory should have been satisfying, but it felt hollow.

***

The sun was high and the sail boats looked like paper toys in a river from the vantage point of the yacht club terrace as they sailed to the starting position. I sat in silence, occupying myself with the binoculars while Thalia and Ivy chatted next to me. Nolan was at the pier with the 'men,' Damien, his son, and Levi, as they watched Carey sail his boat to the start line. They all stood in a row, Damien on the far left, holding his son's hand, then Levi and Nolan on that far right. My stomach somersaulted as I focused my binoculars on Nolan. He looked like a Ralph Lauren model in a navy blue polo shirt and pristine white shorts that looked like they had never seen a speck of dirt.

The trip to Massachusetts had been tense. It wasn't hostile. Far from it. Nolan was kind, but he was distant. Respecting my boundaries and keeping to himself. And yet that was not what I wanted from him. I wanted him to be angry and aggressive. But instead of passion, all I got was the same professional he was before. Gone was the man who made me come twice in his bed.

"The race is about to start," Thalia said beside me. She was speaking to Ivy, who nodded. The conversation was stilted, and it was obvious that they were barely tolerating me, which I understood. I would not want to talk to me too, if I thought I was the type of woman who calls CPS on a friend out of spite.

"Where’s Lake? He loves wandering away at events like this." Ivy asked as she picked up her binoculars on her lap.

"With Damien," I said, pointing at her husband.

An awkward silence fell upon us. I guess she wasn’t talking to me, but with Thalia. I had instead ruined the mood with my loud mouth. And as if to validate the thought, Ivy turned to Thalia and said, "Damien lost him for an hour when Lake wandered off at Comic Con last year.

"Yeah you told me about that. It must have been scary for you."

"It was scarier for Damien. You should have seen him. He didn’t want to bring him and instead wanted to leave him with the babysitter, but Lake insisted."

"Carey told me Lake likes his boat." Thalia checked her phone. "When is this thing starting? "

As soon as she spoke, a voice boomed through the speakers, announcing the sailors and the name of their boats. Carey's boat was in the third lane. Thalia clenched her fists in her lap and looked to the side. "I don't think I can watch."

A gun went out, and the race began. The boats were moving faster than I expected. Carey was in the second to last position. His boat started slowly and other boats, except one with an even slower start, passed it. But as the race went on, he quickly gained momentum. First by overtaking one boat, then two, until he was in third position. Ivy clapped, jumping up and down in her seat. Her sunglasses, which were perched on top of her blond head, threatened to fall.

"What's going on?" Thalia asked, eyes shut.

"He's in third now," I said to her.

"Really?" She glanced at the race and jumped up as Carey went into second position. My adrenalin rushed, and I stood up too, fueled by the announcer's ever rising voice and Carey's speed.

"They are neck and neck! Who will win, the veteran or the rookie? It's too close. They're both racing hard towards that finish line."

Many people had gotten up, cheering the boats. On the pier, Nolan now had his nephew on his shoulders, pointing at the two boats. Carey edged in front, but his opponent thrust himself forward again. Carey pushed on. So did the opponent. Back and forth, they switched positions.

"This is too much. I fear my heart is going to drop," Thalia said under the cheers.

"I have never seen anything like it! This race is going to be close!" The announcer's voice had reached its limit. It croaked, but he continued. "Who's gonna take it! Who's taking first! They're both close to the finish line! And the first bow past the finish line is Thalia's Glory with Carey Hawthorne at wheel!"

Thalia and Ivy hugged each other and jumped in the embrace. Their celebration was infectious, and I squealed in excitement as I clapped. "Let's go to the dock," Ivy announced as they disentangled. I watched as Ivy and Thalia got out of their seats and I was about to sit down in mine when Thalia turned back and said, "Come on." I hurriedly rushed after them and followed a step behind as I listened to their excited chatter.

"Carey didn't want to do it at first,"Thalia said. "I had to convince him to sign up when I told him it's an amateur competition. He thought he was going to be last and embarrass himself."

Ivy shook her head as we went down the wooden stairs of the country club. "He can be insecure about the oddest things. Knowing him, he probably trained like crazy because he was afraid to fail. "

Thalia giggled. "He took leave from work and hired an Olympic sailor to train him. You would think he was racing for the world cup or something with the way he was overworking himself. I started feeling guilty for convincing him at all."

Ivy scoffed. "Typical Carey. He takes things too seriously sometimes."

We made it out of the clubhouse and went to the dock where the guys were watching Carey slowly make his boat towards them, as he waved at people clapping at his victory. We arrived just as he got into the bay. As soon as he saw his wife, Carey smiled and waved her over to enter. As soon as Thalia got on, he took her into his arms and gave her a big kiss, his wetsuit messing Thalia's outfit, not that she cared. When they separated, he took hold of her hand and whispered something in her ear. He looked so in love with her I felt an envy I've never felt before. I've never looked at a couple in love and wished I had the same as I did then. Joy and love filled his eyes, and Thalia seemed to understand and appreciate his love.

Would anyone love me like that? Would Nolan? I frowned and put away the odd stray thought. Why wish to be loved by someone who was unsympathetic to me? The man in question, Nolan, no longer had the ten-year-old Lake on his shoulders and was instead standing a couple of feet away from Damien, Lake, and now Ivy. I went to stand beside him, and so though he felt me before he saw me, he turned towards me, a smile on his face.

"I didn't know your brother was that good at sailing?" I said to him.

"Me neither," he frowned. "We all knew it was his hobby. We had no idea how serious he was about it."

"Thalia said he hired an Olympian to help him train."

Nolan chuckled, "That's Carey for you."

"Where's Levi?" I asked and immediately his mood darkened.

"What do you want with him?"

"I was only wondering. Your jealousy would be cute if it was because you cared for me and not because of some fear of being cucked by your brother."

"I'm not jealous!" He spoke so loudly that a couple next to us glanced in our direction. Nolan took a step closer to me and lowered his voice. "I am not jealous. I just don't want you to bring another scandal to my family by fraternizing with my brother."

I folded my arms and raised my chin, surprised by his feelings. My friendship with Levi bothered him and it was kinda funny to watch. "That's what a jealous man would say."

"You think too highly of yourself. "

"Why shouldn't I? I've affected you enough that you're afraid your brother will steal me from you."

His hands encircled my waist, and he drew me to him with a hard pull that took my breath away. His eyes had hardened with a desire that no doubt reflected my own. My heart felt like it was beating in my throat. He's going to kiss me ; I thought and before I could think of anything else, his mouth crushed down on mine and he gave me a hard kiss. It was insistent, aggressive and punishing. When we finally came up for air, I realized why he had kissed me. Levi was standing beside us. Which would have been funny if he didn't have someone else next to him. Darcy.