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Kassandra wiped a bead of sweat from her brow and gave the arnica cream another good stir. It was a small fire without much heat, but she was still hot. Ever since she woke up this morning, she’d been hot, which was rare for her since they’d traveled so far north into the colder weather. “I need to get a little air,” she said to Greta, pulling the small copper jar from the fire and bringing it to the table where the healer laid out the medicines she was working on.

Greta examined the cream and gave it a curt nod of approval. “Going to go look for Lodan again?”

“I don’t go out looking for Lodan.” Kassandra paused. Maybe she did look for him.

Two days had passed since they’d returned, and Lodan had named her one of the camp’s healers. She was completely free to come and go as she pleased, with no hulking Myrdinians at her heels all the time, however she hadn’t altered her schedule much. When she wasn’t tending to Lodan, who was the worst patient in all of Anatolia, she helped Greta in the healer tent, exactly as she had in the evenings before.

Greta was right, though, she did scan the camp constantly for him, letting out a small sigh when he was near, as if something inside could finally relax. She kept telling herself it was only concern about his injuries, injuries he’d sustained going after her, but deep down, she knew it wasn’t because he was healing fast. Already he walked as if he’d never broken a rib. “He needs to rest more.”

Greta shrugged. “That one will never rest. He’s haunted, and until he defeats those demons, he’ll never know peace.”

“Demons?” Lodan certainly hated the Sardi, and he’d shared his hatred of the Blood Laws, but she wouldn’t describe either of those things as demons. “Do you know what haunts him?”

“He’s never told me, but I have an idea. And no,” —she held her hand up— “I’m not going to share.” She peered at Kassandra in the odd way she had, as if she saw right through her. “When the time is right, you’ll see who he truly is.”

Kassandra sniffed. “Well, I’m going to go find him and bribe him to play chess again.” Since they’d returned, the only times she could get Lodan to rest was to tempt him with a chess game. They still made bets when they played, but her bets weren’t for freedom, and his were for her to tell him things. Silly little things, like her favorite fruit and her favorite flowers.

It was strange. For so long he’d used his touch, or her touching him, to weave a sort of spell around her. Now he was using words, which might be just as effective because she liked talking to him. He also told her what was going on in camp while they played. After finding Ambrose hiding in Argos, he’d removed him from power, and no one in Argos seemed upset by the change. And he’d sent a message to the Dorians and was waiting for a reply.

All he’d done was talk with her. No demands to touch him. No demands to kiss him.

And now all she could think about was his mouth on hers again. His kisses were like him, powerful and demanding, yet also surprising at times, like when they gentled, as if memorizing the shape of her mouth. She couldn’t stop thinking about it, especially today. She could almost taste him on her tongue, smell his lingering scent on her shirt. Her skin. She tilted her head, drawing her nose closer to her shirt, and inhaled deeply. Another pulse of heat washed through her, and she fanned herself. “It’s hot today.”

Greta walked to her side. “Look at me.” Her cool fingers gently gripped Kassandra’s chin, and she moved her head slowly from side to side. “I haven’t treated many Omegas since I specialize in mopping up Alphas, but …” She frowned, and limped back to her table. “Come here, I think you’re going to need this.” She reached into her box of medicines and grabbed a small packet wrapped in leather. “I picked this up in Argos for you.”

Kassandra joined her. “What is it?”

“It prevents conception.”

Kassandra’s face flamed with even more heat. “I don’t need to worry about that.”

Greta rolled her eyes and leaned on the table. “Don’t be coy. The two of you aren’t only playing chess together.”

“That’s not it.” Her face grew hotter, and she wiped at her brow again. “I don’t go into heat.”

“Lodan mentioned you said something like that. You sure about that? Because it’s colder out today than it has been. Not warmer. Have you been feeling off at all? Uncomfortable?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m just hot. And as for Lodan, I’ve been taking strobile to help with things.” She bit her lip. She’d said too much. Greta would certainly tell Lodan what she’d said. Then again, if she was a free Omega, who cared if she was taking something to prevent bonding.

Greta’s brows shot up. “Strobile. Really?”

She nodded. “Yes. Cian had some.”

“Do you know what strobile does, girl?”

“It suppresses an Alpha’s impact and prevents bonding.”

“Yes, but it’s a bit more complicated than that.”

“What—” Another blaze of warmth swept over her, this time so strong her knees buckled, and she crashed into the table. Jars and vials tipped over.

Greta grabbed her arm and helped her into a wooden chair. Shoving the leather packet into her hand, she said, “You’ll need this. Let me go find Lodan, it’s his lucky day. His Omega is in heat.”

Kassandra bent over. Her entire body felt like it was on fire, with an ache throbbing deep inside. An ache spread through her similar to hunger or thirst, but with an edge of pleasure uncoiling wisps of need between her legs.

This was impossible. This didn’t happen to her.

She opened her palm and stared at the leather pouch. When he captured her, Lodan told her he wanted her to bear his child, but since then, he’d given her freedom, and things had changed. Having his child bound her to him forever. Bound them in the exact way he wanted. Whether he paraded her around Anatolia or not, she would still be a representation of the Blood Laws falling. A Sardi at his side he could still use at will.

Another wave flashed through her. It burned deep inside, a heat that needed something to cool it. She knew what she needed.

She rubbed her thighs together and gasped. The sensation was incredible, as if feeling pleasure there for the first time. The world around her turned fuzzy, and she slumped forward, panting.

She opened the leather pouch, knowing what she was going to do.

She had no idea how much time passed, she wasn’t aware of anything until the scent of cedar and leather wafted through the tent. Her chin shot up. Lodan.

He dropped to a knee in front of her, one hand cupping her cheek.

“Lodan.” She threw her arms around his neck and clung to him, burying her head into his neck where his scent was strongest.

“I’ve been waiting for you to finally stop fighting how much you want to touch me, but this feels a little like cheating.” He scooped her into his arms and turned to the Beta, Carl. “You, get cheese, bread, dried meat, and those figs and apples I bought and stack them outside my tent. Also, I need wine and water.”

Figs and apples. She’d told him those were her favorite.

Cool air kissed her skin as Lodan carried her out of the healer’s tent. She nibbled at his neck. “It’s you. Only you. No other Alphas smell good. I never wanted any of them.” She was babbling, unsure if she even said the words aloud.

He groaned, and his steps quickened.

She flattened her palm over his chest and caressed along his collarbone up to his broad shoulder. “You were right before, I do like that you’re so big.”

He swore. “You keep talking like that, and I’m going to go into a rut. It’s better for us if I don’t do that.”

The ache inside squeezed, driving pure pleasure through her. “It might be better for us if you do.”

He shouldered his way into their tent and was at the bed in two strides. Her back hit the blankets and he was on top of her a second later, his mouth claiming hers.

Yes. Oh yes. She clawed at his armor, wanting his skin. “Lodan. Alpha.”

He froze, then slowly drew back. His golden eyes were dark, more the color of amber, with his pupils already wide. “As I first started battling across Anatolia, the people named me Lodan.” Their gazes locked. “In here, call me by my true name—Vasick.”

“Vasick.” She leaned forward and kissed him gently. Slowly, she traced the scar on his upper lip with her tongue.

He shuddered. “Not touching you has been torture. Far worse than the beating.”

She tugged at his cuirass, and he reached under one arm to undo the lacing. With a shrug, he tossed it to the ground. She shoved his shirt up his chest, her hands skating up his warm skin. The ache intensified, and she whimpered. “I need you.”

“I know what you need.” He grabbed the neck of her shirt and in one yank, ripped it in two.

Her fingernails dug into his chest, and she mewled. She’d never made such a desperate sound in her life. She didn’t care, she needed him to help her. To soothe the ache. His seed was the balm.

His mouth landed on her breast, and she jerked. “Ah. Oh gods above. That’s so good.” She was so sensitive. Every lap of his tongue, every circle, made her even more mad with desire.

In the back of her mind, she knew she was in baby-making mode, her breasts primed for Alpha stimulation, but she didn’t care why she felt like this, only that she did. She wanted more.

Lodan reared back to remove his greaves and step out of his pants, and Kassandra shimmied out of her own. She touched her breast, still slippery from his mouth, and rolled the tip between her fingers. Falling back on the bed, she spread her legs.

Lodan stretched over her, his chest heaving. “You want me to take care of you. Only me.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes. You.”

“You do have a choice.”

She ran her hands up his stomach, skimming over his ribs because they were probably still sore. “What choice?”

“You can tend yourself through your heat. I’ll stand guard and get you food and water. I won’t …” He looked down at her, trailing his gaze down her body. The muscles in his arms flexed as he fisted the blankets. “I won’t bed you.”

She pushed at him, and he let her roll him so he was on his back. Kassandra straddled his hips, and slowly, slowly dragged her sex over his length. She was so slippery, so wet. So ready. “Should we test if you really can resist me? Maybe have you read poetry?”

His big hands circled her waist. “I won’t be able to read a single word.” He sucked in air. “Shit. You’re a free Omega. I want you to know you have a choice.”

She lined herself up. “My choice is to have you deep inside me.” With one dip of her hips, she took him inside. “Alpha,” she whispered, her head falling back. She sank down.

He filled her and let out a strangled groan. His hands tightened, holding her in place. He pushed upward with his hips, driving himself in even farther, and put his hand between her legs.

She cried out so loud she was sure it would carry through camp, but she didn’t care and moved her hips in rhythm with his fingers.

He crooned to her. Soft. Intimate. Only for her. She was swamped with need, spinning so rapidly with her desire, she couldn’t make out what he said, only the soft way his words rose and fell, caressing her with speech.

The ache inside grew stronger, a lustful, needy thing demanding relief. His fingers stroked faster, and she shot over the edge. Despite the pleasure clawing through her, the ache only deepened.

“Vasick, I need more.”

“My name on your lips is like one of the goddesses has come down and blessed me.” He flipped her onto her back. He withdrew, then surged back inside. His pace became frenzied, as if he ached inside, too. They rolled across the bed. She clawed at his back. He pinned her hips and slammed deep. The bed creaked and groaned, if it wasn’t so well made, they would have shattered it into splinters.

This was exactly what it was supposed to be like. Her Alpha on top of her. Holding her. Pushing into her like he’d die if he didn’t have her. He really was her Alpha. The only one she’d ever wanted. The only one she may ever want. His scent swirled around, thick and potent. “I see you. I really see you.”

He released a guttural cry and pinned her hips harder to the bed. A telltale thickening caught at her entrance, and he ground himself deep, letting his knot rise to bind them together. She wove her fingers in his hair and drew him down to her.

He groaned in her ear, then nipped at her neck.

With a throb, he came.

The minute his seed entered her, the ache inside cooled. It was both relief and pleasure, a tingling sensation that only made her shudder into a stronger release. It rolled on and on, wringing every bit out of her until she thought she might pass out from the pleasure.

His mouth found hers, and they kissed as he remained in place deep inside her.

She’d never felt anything like this. Pleasure, yes, but it felt like something much deeper. Much more.

She entwined herself around him, her entire body quivering. What was he doing to her? How was she supposed to recover from this? She wasn’t sure she ever could because right now, the truth about what she felt for him blazed through her.

Every muscle ached, but despite the exhaustion after two days of nonstop rutting, she felt better than she may have ever felt in her entire life. Lodan—she hadn’t quite gotten used to calling him Vasick—had been the perfect partner. Most of the time, it was a haze of need, pleasure, and her body insisting he fill her again, but a few things stood out clearly. Like the times he fed her by hand, whispering how he handpicked every piece of fruit earlier in the week especially for her, and even though she had no appetite for food, she still ate because he’d chosen it for her. She fed them to him as well, so when she kissed him, he tasted of fig and Alpha.

She also remembered the time he took her slowly, so achingly slow her entire body was strung like a lute, taut and needy. He hadn’t demanded she look at him, but she had, their gazes entwined the entire time. She’d almost tipped her head to invite him to bite her neck and bond with her. Almost. She was lost in her heat, but not so lost she didn’t hear the voice deep inside whispering how a future with Lodan could never give her what she truly wanted.

They lay facing each other on the bed, Lodan’s arm slung over her waist, holding her close. He let out a small, soft purr, and Kassandra closed her eyes and drifted off.

But she didn’t fall into sleep.

The ground tipped, pouring her into a vision. She struggled. Why couldn’t she fall into the oblivion of a dreamless sleep? Why did she have to have this vision now? It didn’t matter, they didn’t come by invitation.

The darkness lifted, and a charming town spread before her with rolling fields full of crops behind it. The sun was low and hazy overhead, giving the place a golden glow as if the sun worshipped this one stretch of land. A river snaked through, and tall poplars punched into the air in the funny, narrow way they had.

A woman, probably around twenty years old, reached out and ruffled a boy’s dark hair. They stood before a stone house with a thatched roof. A dirt road, wide and well-tended, rimmed by a low fence wound beyond it. Sunflowers filled the yard, interspersed with low lavender bushes.

The woman was pretty, with warm brown eyes and a kind smile. The boy was on the cusp of manhood, with the stretched look of having grown a great deal in a short amount of time. He grinned a cheeky, lopsided smile, and his golden eyes shone in the light.

Lodan.

Almost unrecognizable, but not because of his youth. It was because he smiled.

“Pa’s going to be mad if you don’t get the last of those tubers in,” the young woman warned.

“I’ll do it later. Xander and I are going fishing.”

Normally, Kassandra was a passive observer in her visions, but in this one, she could feel what Lodan felt. He was content. Happy. A peace rolled through him in a way she didn’t think she’d ever experienced herself. It was wonderful. Blissful. When the feeling faded, it made her want to weep with longing.

The image changed.

Burning. Ash. Screams. A soldier clad in bright armor yelled as he stalked past. Lodan ran into the central square full of people. More soldiers marched through the cobblestone streets.

She’d seen this fire before when she was fifteen years old standing with her father in front of most of Sardi City.

Her brother strutted amid his guards, his armor perfectly clean and sparkling. “You Myrdinian scum.” He scanned the crowd until his gaze snagged on Lodan’s sister. Harl pointed at her. “You’ve all disobeyed for the last time.”

She staggered forward, clutching one bloodied arm against her chest. “You attack the innocent because I found a bondmate the Sardi didn’t approve of?”

Harl sneered. “Myrdinians defy the Blood Laws all the time, but we’ve overlooked it because the unions have created strong lines regardless. Not anymore.” His gaze hardened. “You weren’t to take a mate.”

She scoffed, and Kassandra could truly see the resemblance between Lodan and his sister now. They both had a regal air, something that could never be taught. “You think I’d eagerly become your concubine? You think that’s a better choice?”

Harl’s laugh was cold and cruel. “See, that’s the problem with your kind. You think there’s a choice.” He waved his hand.

Lodan’s panic, his terror, and his anger surged through her so strongly she couldn’t breathe. Kassandra struggled. She needed to wake up. Right now. Something bad was going to happen. In the same way the air stilled before a brutal storm, this scene bristled with expectation. Dread.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t wake.

Harl pointed with his sword and shouted to the soldiers. “This entire village gets destroyed. Kill them all. Omegas too. We’re stamping out their rebellious genes once and for all.” Harl turned his back and walked away, calling over his shoulder, “A pity. The Omegas here are a lot of fun.”

Lodan roared and launched himself at Harl. The prince seemed stunned for a moment, frozen in place, and Lodan sank his fist into the side of Harl’s face.

It was probably the first time her brother had ever been struck. In all the sparring sessions she’d watched with his tutors, they’d never engaged him in more than a mock duel. But this would never be a fair fight. Not with Harl having an army at his back, and not a full-grown Alpha to Lodan’s half-grown one. And her brother wore armor, Lodan had nothing.

Lodan’s sister screamed and ran toward them, but the soldiers surged, blocking her.

The beating that followed was brutal. Clawing against the vision pinning her in place, Kassandra was forced to watch her brother attempt to beat Lodan to death. Her throat clogged with tears, and she gasped for breath.

The scene darkened, loosening its hold on her, but before it faded, Harl smashed his foot down on Lodan’s face. Now she knew the origin of the scar that bisected his lip.

“Wake up.”

She gulped in air, and was back in the tent, cradled against Lodan’s chest, his arms wrapped tight around her.

“All right,” Lodan whispered. “You’re all right.” He sounded relieved. “I couldn’t get you to wake.” Purring rumbled from his chest, and she sagged into him. His warm hand rubbed up her back, soothing her.

With a jerk, she launched herself out of his arms and scrambled backward. Her entire body felt coated in ice, as if she’d never get warm again.

Lodan reached for her, but she scuttled back farther.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “What did you see?” The calm expression drained off his face, and he leaped off the bed. “Are the Dorians going to attack?”

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself. She managed to whisper, “I didn’t see anything about the future.”

Lodan went still. He stood beside the bed, and she scanned his body, taking note of every scar. Which ones were from her brother?

Her gaze jerked up to his face. “I saw how you got your scar.” She lay a finger on her lip, mimicking the position of his. “The image I got when I was ten, the one of a village burning. It was your village I saw.” She swallowed, and her throat was like sand. “Tonight, I saw exactly what happened. I saw you.” Her voice dwindled to barely a whisper.

He didn’t say anything.

More tears threatened, burning the back of her throat. They may have been running down her face, but she was too numb to feel them. “I understand why you’re fighting. Why you’re hunting down my brother and want to destroy the Sardi.” He—” she swallowed hard “—he killed your sister. And your parents, too.” It wasn’t a question. She already knew.

He ran a hand through his hair, and his gaze grew distant. “Yes.”

“How did you survive?” she whispered.

He didn’t look at her. “Xander and his family were having a holiday camping in the forest, so they escaped the slaughter. When the Sardi left, they searched the village for survivors and found I still breathed. I was on the brink of death for four days, unable to wake up, but Xander and his family took care of me, and they took me with them when they fled deeper into Myrdinia.” His hands fisted. “They snuck back and buried all the dead properly, even though they could have been caught and killed themselves. I wish I could have helped, but I was …” His expression grew even harder. “I was unable to move for weeks.”

Tears blurred her vision. “I’m so sorry.”

“It took a long time, but my body healed.” He put a hand to his chest. “Inside though, something broke that will never be fixed. At least not until I hunt down the king and finish what I started. I will get my revenge. I will avenge them.”

Pain lashed through her like a whip. Sorrow and misery for him, and an understanding of how things really were between them. His hatred for the Sardi was all-consuming and never-ending. He may have softened toward her some, but she was still a Sardi. She always would be.

And she didn’t blame him for that. If their positions were reversed, she would feel exactly the same.

The problem was, though, that somewhere along their journey together, she’d stopped hating him, and after he’d asked her to return with him to camp as a free Omega, a slim, trickle of hope had bubbled through her that maybe, maybe, things could be different between them.

But now she knew that was impossible.

It felt like someone kicked her in the chest. “You should have killed me.”

He didn’t answer.

Her hand fisted the blankets, and her shoulders shook. “I’m so sorry. Both for seeing your memory, but also …” Her words dried up. What else could she possibly say?

Lodan returned to her side, pulling her into his arms. He purred his soothing purr and tucked her into him.

She thrashed against him. “You shouldn’t be comforting me.”

“Stop.” He spoke quietly, but it was an order. An Alpha order.

She stopped trying to escape but couldn’t stop crying. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know my brother did that. That my people did that.”

One of his hands rubbed along her back. “I know. You’ve been sheltered from the real Anatolia.”

She drew back and swiped at her face, meeting his gaze. “How can you even touch me?” She bit her lip and looked away. “Everything I think is wrong. I’ve been wrong about my life. About my people. And I’m wrong about thinking sometimes—” She sucked in a sobbing breath. “Sometimes you may not hate me.”

“Kassandra—”

“I can’t be in here with you. Why would you even want me in here with you?”

A long silence filled the tent like a living thing, curling onto itself. Finally, Lodan said, “ You didn’t come to my village and kill my family.” He put his hand under her chin and tilted her face to his. “I expected a spoiled princess, one I wanted to use to flaunt my victory over the Sardi. What I found was a woman who was abused by her family and shut away from the world. I’ve hoped you’d come to understand what the Sardi have really done, but I didn’t want it to be like this.”

“What I went through was nothing compared to what you did.” Her shoulders sagged. “Why are you being kind right now?”

“I’m not kind. I’m just stating the truth.” He shifted her in his arms, holding her more comfortably against him. “Let’s build your nest back up and get you back in bed.”

He was being kind, and that made it so much worse. “I’d rather have you yell and rage at me.”

He sighed. “My rage will find the right target.”

She waved her hand at the bed. “We can’t be together. You must see that.” Tears choked her throat again. “I can’t do it. Every time I look at you, I’ll think of my family murdering yours.” A sob welled up so strong it carried her away. All she could do was cry.

The vision played over and over in her head. His sister’s beautiful face in particular. Her life was crushed simply because she wanted a bondmate she loved instead of becoming a mistress to the king.

The cold reality of her place with Lodan crashed in on her. This was so much worse than being marched in front of angry villagers. Then, she’d felt betrayed, and hurt. This was grief. Mourning. Sadness at a loss of something she hadn’t realized she’d started to hold close to her. She’d been a fool to think she and the Warlord had something real forming between them. To think, when he’d kissed her, that it actually meant something.

Lodan rolled them both fully onto the bed, then pulled some of the sleeping skins over her. “We’ll discuss this more later.” He lay on his side, and he pulled her into him, his arm heavy over her. Then he started to purr. His long, slow purr.

She didn’t stop crying, but the horrible tight feeling in her chest loosened. Waves of drowsiness washed over her. She fought against it, but his purring and the warmth of his body were like a drug, lulling her to relax.

He might be able to calm her body, but he couldn’t calm her mind. The image of him as a young boy with that lopsided smile made her cry harder. That Lodan had died, and he’d never come back.

Greta had told her to find the real Lodan, and she had. She understood the Warlord. Understood his battle. Understood why he was so remote and scary. However, she also understood there would never be a future between them.

She’d felt his true happiness back when he was a kid in his village. The wonderful, all-encompassing bliss. He deserved to feel that again. And that wasn’t going to happen by being with her. It could never happen by being with her.

They needed to part because every time she saw Lodan, her heart leaped a little. Every time he touched her, she wanted to curl into him and demand he never stop. They had to part because she had a sneaking suspicion that blissful feeling he’d experienced was love. And the last two days in bed with him, she’d gotten awfully close to feeling it herself.

He deserved to feel that again. And she was never going to make him feel that way.