Page 25 of The Virgin Duchess (Unwanted Brides #2)
Chapter Twenty-Two
T he street was quiet when Charlotte stepped onto it from Cordelia’s house. Perhaps that was why she didn’t see Selina until it was too late, and she collided with her friend, sending them both stumbling backward.
Shock played over Selina’s face, undoubtedly reflected on her own. Charlotte smoothed her hand down the front of her dress, looking around the street. Her carriage was still parked up ahead, and she couldn’t see anyone else lingering there.
“Charlotte,” Selina breathed heavily, “what are you doing here? You look…upset.”
Shaking herself, Charlotte schooled her expression so that the churning thoughts that plagued her were less visible. It took a moment for her to feel confident enough to speak, the surprise of running into her and the dread of someone learning about Kitty flaring brightly inside her.
“I…nothing. I’m quite well. I assure you. What are you doing in this part of town?”
Selina recoiled slightly, giving Charlotte that classic look of condescending annoyance. How dare Charlotte have the gall to question her, after all. The Dowager Duchess would never.
“Me?” As she pulled backward into herself, something changed in Selina’s stare, and her shoulders slumped forward. “I was seeing my solicitor. He has an office here where he serves clients of a less… secure financial standing.”
“Your solicitor? What call do you have for a man of the law?”
Confusion swam within her, and it was only dampened when Selina met her stare with one of despondent grief. Her friend stared down at where she had wadded up a bit of paper in her hands, twisting the thin sheet until it crinkled and tore at the edges.
“I’m afraid that the heir of the Duchy of Soulden reached out to him. My solicitor informed me that the heir has ‘requested’ that I find a suitor expressly. He expects me to have secured one by the time of his arrival so that he can…make himself at home in the estate without worrying over me.”
Charlotte’s jaw dropped, and she reflexively reached for Selina’s hands. “He wants you to leave your home in such a short time?”
Selina just nodded.
“Oh, Selina,” Charlotte surged forward, taking the woman in her arms and squeezing tightly, “I am so sorry.”
The two of them stood there in the street, and Charlotte’s heart ached. As much as Selina was a terrible flirt, to the point that it frequently irritated her, she wasn’t deserving of such treatment. For her numerous faults—vanity, shallow thinking, undoubtedly promiscuous behavior—Selina was a friend who had been there for kind words when they all needed it.
If only Ethel were here. She is so much closer to Selina. It would be such a benefit to her to have her closest friend in town .
“Well, then.” Selina pulled back, wiping a gloved finger beneath her eyes as she pulled herself together, the picture of sorrow in her exquisite dress. “As the French say, c’est la vie. My life will go on, and I am certain I will find a suitor. There are a number of eligible men looking to marry, and my exchange for it will be well worth taking my hand. I am still young as well. Bearing a child shall be certainly possible as it was my poor Duke who had gotten on in years and lost his potency.”
Selina nodded as if that was that. There was no more use discussing the matter because it would all be settled. Charlotte had a sneaking suspicion that she was putting on a brave face, but she still admired Selina a bit for doing so.
Still, her friend looked around them again, and her brow furrowed deeply. “Charlotte, what were you doing here? You have not answered.”
Fear interwove itself through the vertebra of her spine. What on earth was she supposed to tell the woman. Selina had been rather honest with her, but it was a different matter to trust the Dowager with this secret. She had not even told Amelia, and Selina and herself had never been that close.
The silence persisted, and then Selina put her hand on Charlotte’s, offering a nod.
“It is all right. When you are ready, I will be here.”
Charlotte’s chest ached, the expression of quiet understanding on Selina’s face pulling at her heartstrings to create a discordant melody that she could feel itching across her nerves. Charlotte just didn’t know what to say. The situation was far from simple, and Selina, while her friend, had a nose for gossip.
“Well, thank you for that. Do get home safely, Selina. And I am quite sure you’ll be snatched up by a new husband in no time.”
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Thank you, Charlotte. We shall talk soon.”
Charlotte felt weighed down, pulled to the bottom of an invisible ocean. “Indeed, Selina. Soon.”
Carefully slipping inside, Charlotte stepped into her home without speaking. The butler was quick to take her jacket from her and the parasol she’d brought with to keep her face out of the sun. Diedre was there to take her request for a repast or cup of tea, but Charlotte declined both, saying only a handful of words to her.
She’d progressed directly up the stairs, seeking out her room to be alone with her thoughts. But no sooner was she settled on her bed, staring at the closed door in front of her, was there a knock on it.
“Charlotte?” Frederick’s voice echoed through the wood separating them. “Are you quite well? You were so quiet at your arrival? Is something amiss?”
For several moments, she couldn’t bring herself to answer. Selina had been so patient with her. There had been every motive for her to be upset with Charlotte, furious that she wouldn’t divulge why she was there when Selina had been honest from the get-go.
“Charlotte?”
She cleared her throat, which was too sticky and too dry at once.
“Come in.”
The door creaked open, and Charlotte looked up at her husband, whose brow was creased with concern, down low over his eyes. He was genuinely worried about her, and the notion struck her. Just a short time ago, Charlotte had been unable to say whether she loved him or not. While her decision was still not made, it was clear to her in the expression he wore that Frederick cared for her.
It struck her, and the weight settled on her shoulders pressed down all the harder.
“You did not seem like yourself. Are you well?”
Charlotte chuckled, this sarcastic thing that she felt a twinge of guilt for. Shaking her head, she frowned for a moment before looking back up at Frederick.
“I am not sick. You don’t have to be worried over me.”
Frederick walked over, taking a seat on the bed next to her. It dipped down with his weight, forcing her to lean in his direction. Charlotte noticed the urge to lean further, to give herself over to Frederick’s gravity and allow herself to rest against him. She sought comfort, and only a bit surprisingly, she wanted it to come from her husband.
“Health is not the only matter of concern that might affect you.” He brushed his fingers over her cheek. “Your mind and spirit are just as important. And it is clear that something troubles you.”
She dropped her stare to the floor again, gathering up the fabric of her dress by her knees and winding it through her fingers. Frederick didn’t retreat or pull away, taking her chin and guiding Charlotte’s eyes back toward him.
“I am here, dearest. Tell me what bothers you so.”
It was strange to want the comfort and still be so nervous to open up. She had given her friendship to a small group of people, none more than Amelia, and that was all. Charlotte kept most of her thoughts and feelings locked up behind the iron bars of her will, worried she might upset her brother or do something that could affect their family.
For the first time, Charlotte realized how closed off she’d been for so long.
“I saw Selina today as I was returning from visiting Kitty and Cordelia.”
Frederick raised his brows, nodding. “Oh? And did something happen?”
“I was concerned, at first, about why she might be there. No one is to know of Cordelia’s existence, of Kitty’s. I will admit to being terrified that Selina had found out. She is such a nose for gossip, I just assumed…”
Her words drifted off, and Charlotte fought against the sting in her eyes. She had no right to be upset when it was she who could not be bothered to open up to her own friend.
“Did Selina imply that she would be delivering the knowledge to the ton?” Frederick asked, his tone gentle, still seeking to protect her from the discomfort.
“No,” Charlotte shook her head, “she doesn’t know. I didn’t say anything. Selina…Selina had been there to deal with her own matter.”
Frederick smiled. “So, then this is good news?”
Charlotte let out that harsh laugh again, folding over her lap to bury her face in her hands.
“No. Selina was there to see her solicitor, who aids the less financially stable people who live in the area, as well as his more well-off clients. She had been told by the heir of the Duchy of Soulden to find a suitor at once, for he intends to hoist her from her own home.”
“Oh, Charlotte,” Frederick places his hand on her shoulder, rubbing up and down with his thumb, “I am so sorry. I am sure that your friend will find her way, and we could certainly allow her to reside with us for a time.”
She shot her eyes over to him, floored by the suggestion. “You’d do that?”
“Of course.” Frederick nodded, his smile open and genuine. “She is your friend. Is that why you are so upset?”
Charlotte struggled, getting to her feet and taking up pacing, which was her habitual method of relieving tension during stressful moments. It wasn’t working as thoroughly this time, and the swirling floorboard and wallpaper blended together into a muddled haze of brown and pale blue.
“Yes…and no. It’s not only that about Selina’s situation with the heir. She…she was so open about it with me. She spoke of it as if the information was merely a trifle. She had such confidence in her situation even as her eyes glassed over with tears.”
Hiccupping on the sob that burst up her throat, Charlotte stopped abruptly, looking down at Frederick who still sat on the edge of her bed.
“She just told me of the entire situation when I asked why she was there. Selina just told me, trusting the information to be safe with me. And when she inquired again about why I was there…”
“You couldn’t tell her.”
Charlotte’s tears dripped past her chin as she looked to Frederick and nodded. The guilt was a hand around her throat, a lead weight in her belly.
“I couldn’t! I wanted to. I truly believe I did,” Charlotte sniffled, walking back over to the soft bed with its smooth blue cover, and sat down. “But I couldn’t. And when I hesitated, Selina was…”
“Upset?” Frederick raised a brow, looking genuinely shocked by the notion.
“No.” She shook her head again. “Quite the opposite. Selina was understanding. She expressed that I could tell her when I was ready and simply left—back home to deal with this business with the heir. I felt so horrendous for not being able to tell her my secret.”
“Charlotte,” Frederick took her hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing her knuckles, “you are such a gentle soul. It is understandable that you were nervous to tell your friend of a truth that you have kept locked up for years. You’ve been trained all this time to never speak of it. In fact,…”
He shifted slightly so that he could look her directly in the eye, holding her hand as he took the other and rubbed his thumb over her wedding band.
“You married me because of the fear of that having that secret revealed caused you.”
She melted into herself as Frederick’s warm skin eased the ache she’d been carrying since she left Selina. Charlotte looked up at him with a mournful smile and then pitched forward, resting her head against his chest.
“Thank you…for understanding.” Her voice was muffled by her position, but she knew he heard her, and Frederick stroked his hand over the back of her head. “I just felt like I had to tell her, and still, I couldn’t.”
“Feeling obligated to open up to someone isn’t the proper motivation for doing so. You should feel comfortable with who you are speaking to. You have every right to keep this secret for as long as you feel you need to.”
She didn’t respond, just breathing in the scent of Frederick’s musky cologne—leather and bergamot. It took everything she had to keep herself from spiraling further, and Charlotte didn’t wish to do that. She wanted to be better at pulling herself together, at acting as the proper lady to this estate.
“If it aids you or provides a bit of comfort,” Frederick continued to stroke her, softening the tension that still remained in Charlotte’s spine, “I have seen Selina for a time now, and I can say objectively that she appears to love her friends. I do not believe she would break your trust by allowing that information to get out. Didn’t you say that she was very protective of Amelia during her debacle with Richard and the scandal sheets?”
She nodded against his chest. “I did. And she was. Selina kept everything that we said about the situation to herself. When she learned about what our own friend, Isaac, had done to Amelia, she was the first of us to say that it would not leave the room.”
At last, Charlotte looked up at Frederick, and he offered his soft smile, the one that lifted the left corner of his mouth and made his deep eyes flicker with warmth.
“That is quite the show of faith, Charlotte. While I know that she does enjoy gossip and carrying on, it does appear that protecting her friends takes precedence.”
“Thank you. You are right. Selina does care for us all more than drumming up something to put in the scandal sheets herself. Still,” Charlotte swallowed, thinking about innocent Kitty and how her life would forever be changed if word got out about her parentage, about how her own standing might be affected, “I am nervous. I am just so terribly nervous about what might happen.”
“I understand, Charlotte. I do. You know of the situation with the Baron, and I can attest to the weight that it places on her soul to carry around such a burden. Perhaps speaking to Selina will give you another kind ear to hear your concerns.”
She couldn’t deny that the idea of at least not having to hide anything from her friend sounded appealing. Secrets were tiresome, tedious things that were like the plague to carry inside you, stealing your vitality.
“Perhaps.” Charlotte looked up at Frederick, her shoulders rising and falling.
“You are stronger than you think, especially right now. Charlotte, dear, the Duchess of Mullens, where is that vibrant spirit of yours? I’ve been put in my place several times by your cunning tongue. Surely you can find that resilience to be courageous and face your friend.”
Chuckling, Charlotte nudged Frederick back playfully. “Cunning tongue? Oh, indeed. Your jesting will not serve me.”
“I am most serious!” Frederick swept her up into his arms, the feeling too wonderful and accompanied by a growing heat. “I know you can be brave, as wild as you can be when you so choose.”
“Can I now?” Her thoughts turned darker, the sensation of being right up against her husband’s firm chest doing things to her. “And what brave things are you thinking of?”