Page 144 of The Vigilante's Lover

“You like that?” I ask. I push it harder against her, feeling it engage between the folds, pressing her panties into her skin.

“You’re crazy,” she says.

“Mmmm.” I lift the gun a little, then let it slide inside the top edge of the blue satin.

She takes in another breath. The metal is warm now, heated by her skin. I press it into her a little harder, letting it engage with her body.

She moans. “This is so messed up,” she says.

“I think I’ve made my point,” I tell her. I begin to withdraw it from her.

But she tightens her knees. “Do it,” she says. “I want to push boundaries with you.”

My entire body responds to this and it’s all I can do not to rip off the panties and thrust inside her.

But I tighten my jaw and do as she asks, peeling her panties down with the barrel of the gun.

Her gaze is riveted on it. I touch her myself to make sure she can handle this. Her body rises up to meet my fingers as I slide inside. She’s so wet. And vibrating with need.

Now I’m the one who feels the anxiety as I press the barrel gently against her skin. Jesus. I hadn’t pictured going this direction.

I glance up at her, the blue negligee pushed high and exposing her body, her arms tied above her head. She watches me with desire and wicked delight. “Nervous?” she asks.

I slide only the tip of the barrel inside her. I’m so damn erect I feel like I’m going to explode. She’s pink and wet and the blue metal going into her threatens to send me over the edge.

She spreads her knees wide and lifts up. Hell, I can barely manage this, slipping the barrel back out and letting it enter her again. Her body quivers with the movement. She isn’t watching any longer. Her chin is high, her body tense. I can tell she’s moving toward orgasm.

I can’t take it any longer and pull the gun away, shoving it across the bed. I enter her in one swift stroke.

Her body heaves against me, rocking. She’s moaning and crying out and mixing up my first name and my last. I hold on to her hips, driving into her, relishing the feel of her convulsions around me.

We move together, the world completely erased, then I empty into her, my body flush against hers. I wrap my arms around her back and clasp her to my chest.

The ropes hit my head and I realize she’s gotten them loose. Herarms come down and clutch at me.

I hold on to her, and her to me, until our bodies settle. I kiss her neck.

“You got over it,” I whisper into her ear.

“I did,” she says.

For the first time in over a year, since before Ridley Prison, before the night I killed Singer, and before I knew what a traitor I had allowed into my heart with Jovana, I actually smile. A real, genuine, non-sardonic, actual smile.

Shit. I think I’ve fallen in love with this woman.

20: Mia

It’s still dark outside when I wake. I try not to move. Jax is asleep, and he will jump into fight stance at the drop of a pin. I wonder if that comes from Vigilante training, or if he’s just naturally like that.

He’s so vulnerable looking in sleep. I can’t see much, just the shadows of his face from the glow of the alarm clock. But it tugs at my heart. I don’t know how he can live like this, wary and suspicious all the time.

Maybe it’s just our situation. A normal Vigilante probably has breaks between missions. And if he was a director, there were probably days of paperwork as much as car chases and bullet dodging.

I think back on last night and the gun. I shudder a little. Something I haven’t told Jax, but will soon, is that since seeing the gun, I remember a piece of my past that must have been long buried.

I’m on a boat with my parents. I think I’m six, maybe seven. My mother is out on the deck, holding on to the rail. My dad is in front at the controls. This is a typical weekend for us off the coast of Miami.

Mom is watching something through binoculars. I don’t know what she’s looking at. The water and sky seem unbroken to me. After a moment, she comes and takes my hand and calmly tells me to go belowdeck.