Page 46 of The Vampire Debt
And that scares me to death.
This must end. I know it must, even though my gut twists at the thought. And it is because of that that I know I will not be able to withstand the hold he has on me for much longer.
Finally, having grown too restless to stay hidden any longer, I head into the bathing room to wash up.
Once I am finished dressing, I make my way downstairs. The table in the dining room is set, but only for one person.
Lydia is finishing up arranging the various china and items. I catch the scent of the food that normally triggers my appetite and find that, today, I have none.
She lifts her head and takes me in, but rather than saying anything she turns and heads back into the kitchen. I sit in the usual spot and pour myself a cup of tea. I sip on it slowly, hoping it will ease my stomach. I hate to let the food go to waste after so many years of never having enough, but the thought of eating right now is unappealing.
I push away from the table and stand just as Elise comes through the door.
“I saw you,” she says, her words accusing.
Gone is the timid girl who asked if she could speak frankly.
“What are you talking about?”
Her golden eyebrows furrow in anger as she steps further into the room. “I saw you try to stab him last night.”
My throat tightens. I’m not sure what to say to that. This whole time I had assumed that none of the staff was aware of how Alaric and I interact.
Elise looks hurt, as if I personally assaulted her. I don’t know why, but I find that I do not wish to disclose any of the details from my bargain with Alaric to her, or anyone else.
“That matter doesn’t concern you,” I say, then I stride away.
The manor is quite possibly the largest structure I have ever set foot in, and yet today it feels confining. Having no desire to spend any more time in my rooms, I wander the halls until I end up at the foot of the stairs that lead to the third floor.
My usual tactics have not worked to win my freedom. I need to rethink my strategy. I have no idea where to begin, and for this moment I am too weary to practice or come up with a new plan.
The library seems to call to me now. I have been here for a few weeks and have been too preoccupied to spend any significant amount of time there. I could do with a little mental stimulation after the boredom I put myself through.
A fire roars in the hearth making the room pleasant in comparison to the last time I was here.
I run my hands across the spines humming a tune Mother used to sing to us when we were little as I look for a title or three that catch my eye.
“Are you tone deaf, or is this a new kind of torture you intend to inflict upon me until I send you away?” Alaric asks.
I whirl around and Alaric is right behind me. My hand flies to my chest as my heart attempts to leap out of my skin. “Demons and saints, you startled me. It’s a nasty habit you’ve picked up.”
Instinct has me reaching for the dagger I always keep at my side. Alaric’s eyes glint with mirth and that is enough to still my hand. When I don’t immediately try to stab him, one of his brows raises in question.
“Are you missing something?” he asks, a single dark brow arches.
“No,” I say. I have so many thoughts whirling around in my mind I can’t decide which of them to say.I am too tired to play this game,orI am afraid of what one more failure will do to me,or a million other confessions. So, I say nothing.
His eyes darken as if he can sense all of this and more.
“Then I will leave you to it,” he says, and with a half bow, he turns to leave.
I blink, fully expecting him to flirt or find some reason to touch me. I’ve grown so used to it that the absence of his touch feels strange.
“Clara,” he says, stopping in the doorway, not quite looking in my direction. “If there is something ailing you, I expect you to speak up.” And then he’s gone.
I’m not sure what that was about. He couldn’t possibly be worried about me… could he? I told Mrs. Westfield I was sick, so perhaps she told him.
I already have enough things to mull over to last me a lifetime without adding to it.