Page 20 of The Untamed Duke (The Secret Crusaders #3)

CHAPTER 20

J ournal of the Duke of Foxworth:

From birth, I was destined to lead, groomed to one day rule a great family. When my father died, a new role – and life – was thrust upon me, and a position of great power. Though all these and more, I endured and persevered, never forgetting my ultimate goal.

Yet those endeavors pale before the obstacle I now face. Making Sophia mine is my greatest challenge, yet the most important of my life.

I will be victorious.

She was a fool.

A heartbroken, lovesick fool.

She’d fought for strength her entire life, clawed as much independence as society allowed a mere woman. She’d championed social action, supported those without a voice and strove to better a world that saw her as less .

Yet in the end, she was a prize caught between two men’s hatred for each other.

“Sophia, are you all right?” Kenneth reached for her.

“You should not be here.” Edmund grasped for her.

She backed away from them both.

No, she was not all right. As she suspected he would, Kenneth had offered, yet not from a declaration of love but an avowal of hate. She was no more than revenge’s pawn, the ultimate payback for a life lost. Her brother may love her, but he would never see the woman she truly was.

Kenneth took a step towards her.

“Get away from her,” Edmund snarled. The two men glared at each other, fists clenched, stances poised in battle. Would they fight a duel in Priscilla’s drawing room?

Not if she showed her own power. “Enough!”

“Sophia–”

“Sister–”

“Let me speak.” She regarded one, and then the other. “I have something to say to both of you.”

Wary eyes flashed, as both predators stalked her. “Speak your mind, but quickly,” Edmund growled. “I do not want you in this man’s presence any longer. After today, you will never see him again.”

“I think not,” Kenneth snarled. “You lost the privilege of caring for Sophia. She is mine now.”

How dare he?

After countless days of delight, endless nights in each other’s arms, how could he turn her into nothing more than revenge? She gathered her strength. “I am not marrying you.”

His eyes glinted like daggers. “You haven’t a choice.”

Edmund opened his mouth, but she stopped him with a raised hand. “I will decide whom I marry. And when. And it will not–” Her voice broke. “It will not be you.”

“I compromised you.”

She gasped.

And Edmund lunged.

Kenneth leapt out of the way, so fast he was almost a blur. Edmund circled his prey, but Sophia jumped between them. “You will not fight in Priscilla’s drawing room.” Her voice stumbled, as she drew a shuddering breath. “Please.”

The single word halted them, the lust for blood, but not the anger, departing their eyes. As both men stepped forward, she cried, “He didn’t do anything I didn’t want.”

Everyone froze.

She stared at her brother, returning the same power he wielded. “Before you say anything, consider your own life. My actions are no different than you or any other man in the ton. I will not be condemned for living my life.”

Edmund hesitated. When he spoke, his voice was low. “I would never condemn you, Sophia. I love you.”

She released a breath. He accepted it, accepted her.

Deep down, she always knew he would.

Kenneth watched with an unfathomable expression. Now she stalked him. “Despite what we’ve shared, you still only think of revenge. I will no longer be an instrument in your scheme. I thought…I hoped…” She swallowed. “It doesn’t matter now. I want a love match, and this was always about hate.” She wrapped herself in the power of every woman who fought for love. “What we had is over.”

“My offer has nothing to do with hate.” His voice was stiff, as he followed her step for step. “I want you.”

“This is not about me,” she hissed. “This was always about Edmund.”

“That’s not true.” He shook his head, tousling the locks she’d smoothed so many times. He hesitated, as if weighing his words. “Why do you think we stayed for a month?”

She gripped her dress. “We had no choice. The bridge was destroyed, and the river was too dangerous to cross.”

He held her gaze, then glanced to the side. “That’s not exactly true.”

“What’s not true?” she demanded. “The bridge fell into the river. I saw it.”

“It did fall.” He kept close beside her. “But the river was not impossible to cross. Although you cannot see the other bridges from the estate, they aren’t nearly as far as I indicated. Several hours in either direction would have provided a viable path home.”

Oh. My. Goodness. She brought trembling fingers to her lips. “How could I have been so senseless?” she whispered. “Of course a single bridge wouldn’t be the only method of travel to London.” She fisted her skirt. “You said you’d never lie to me.”

“I didn’t lie. I merely implied it was longer than it was.” Yet his wooden voice belied the misdirection. He purposely deceived her.

“Do you not understand it’s the same thing?” She took a breath, then another, so quickly, the world started to tilt. She forced her breathing slower. “Did you wish to punish Edmund even more? If a few days hurt, imagine what a month of agony would accomplish?”

“No.” He stepped forward. “Bradenton had nothing to do with it.”

“Then why?” she demanded. “Why would you make me believe we were trapped?”

“For the same reason I offered for you,” he thundered. “I want to be with you.”

“Do not lie! All I am is a weapon to wield against my brother.” Her voice broke, her eyes blurring with unshed tears. “You don’t care for me at all.”

“That’s not true.” He reached for her, but she backed up. He grasped her hand, and the connection immediately sparked. “My words were borne of anger, and I will forever regret them. Sophia, I–”

She snatched her hand away. “Do not pretend you care for me.” Her heart cracked and shattered, yet she pushed forward. “My answer is the same as my brother’s. I do not accept your offer.”

Her heart beat so loud it drummed in her ears, fast, irregular and broken .

For a moment, Kenneth looked as if he would throw her over his shoulder and kidnap her. Had her brother not been present, she would have all but expected it.

“You have the answer to your question.” Edmund stepped forward, perhaps sensing the same. “Time for you to leave.”

For a moment, Kenneth stood frozen, considering another abduction, perhaps? In the next, he strode forward, his steps booming on the hard floor. Her heart lurched as he passed, so close, yet a lifetime away. Instincts urged her to run to him, to leap in his arms and ask him to kidnap her. Yet she stayed still, for all the strong women before her and all the ones after, who would choose their own destiny. They deserved a match of the heart.

Even if hers had to shatter.

No one spoke as he crossed the room. Yet with his hand on the knob, the untamed duke turned. “This changes nothing.” Pure power defined the words. “You are still mine.”

“I’m going to kidnap Sophia.”

“Didn’t you already do that?”

“I am going to do it again.”

Adam strode into the library, stopping before the grand desk in a stance as straight as the swords lining the walls of an armory. The fire crackled in the marble hearth, warming the room and casting amber light on the rows of antique books. It smelled of opulent leather, rich wood and relentless tension.

“You said were only taking her for a few days.” Adam’s mild tone hid something far stronger. “Then it became a month. Now you plan on keeping her permanently?”

“Do not judge me, cousin. After all, I’m not the only one with secrets.” Kenneth rose from the desk, stepped slowly around its amber drawers. “You stole Priscilla’s journal.”

His cousin’s eyes glinted in the firelight. Guarded, unyielding, yet there was no denial. “How did you know?”

That his cousin did not feign ignorance was a show of their kinship, and trust. He would return it with unfiltered honesty. “Priscilla saw the thief flee in my carriage. She and Sophia both assumed I took it, but they were wrong, of course.” He stepped forward. “The book you had that night was Priscilla’s journal. I shall like an explanation.”

For a moment, Adam remained silent, unwavering and unmoving. When he spoke, his voice was low, somber. “From the moment I learned of your existence, I supported you. I ensured you received your inheritance, sought you when others would steal it from you. I covered for you when you stole a lady of the realm. Now I am asking you to do one thing for me.” He leaned forward. “Forget about the journal.”

Kenneth stared into furtive eyes, where secrets swirled and hidden motivations lurked. The journal was no small matter; by Sophia’s admittance, it affected dozens of lives. Yet his cousin was not one for exaggeration, and no doubt important reasons propelled him. Behind the request, a single question loomed: Did he trust him? “I will agree, on one condition.”

Adam gave a curt nod.

“You must promise no harm will come to Lady Priscilla or any of the other ladies. While I have not seen the journal’s exact contents, I know it contains secrets with the power to do great harm. I will not allow it to touch the ladies.”

Adam’s eyes flashed with emotion, gone in the single blink of an eye. “I wish you knew me better than to assume I could harm an innocent.”

Kenneth started at the words, spoken so low, he wasn’t sure he was meant to hear. Had he inadvertently insulted his cousin?

Yet when he looked up, Adam appeared as strong as ever. “You have my word. No one will be injured, and the journal’s secrets will remain intact. On the contrary, my actions serve to further a very important quest. A friend has a vested interest in an individual mentioned in the journal.”

A thousand questions churned, amidst stark dissatisfaction. Kenneth didn’t know Adam well enough to be certain he wouldn’t misuse the journal, and Adam didn’t know him well enough to trust him with his secret.

Perhaps that was his fault.

“Of course, I shall keep your secret,” he affirmed. “I do trust you, and should have known you had no ill intentions. You are the noblest man I know, and I am honored to be your kin.”

Surprise, and satisfaction, flashed in his cousin’s eyes. “I would say the same to you.”

Kenneth looked up sharply. “Normally, I would cherish such a complement, yet I cannot accept it.” He looked past his cousin, at the bookcase where he kissed Sophia. “I kidnapped a lady to seek revenge on her brother. I kept her captive for an entire month. Even now, I plan to abduct her again.” He shook his head. “Have I become the villain?”

“No.” Adam placed his hands on the desk. “Ignoble as it seems, there was honor in your quest. You sought to punish a man you believed to be a murderer, prevent him from harming others. Your goals were noble.”

“That’s only partly true.” At the beginning, he’d convinced himself it was his only motivation, casting himself as a righteous defender of good. Yet he had taken a careful look at himself these past few days. “You never approved of my actions.” He regarded his cousin carefully. “Why did you help me?”

Adam stayed still for a moment. “Because you are my cousin and my friend. A man who I should have grown up next to, a man who, although he eschews London society, is an excellent duke. You take care of your tenants, are kind and generous with those under your care. Your charitable endeavors have helped hundreds.”

Kenneth stiffened. “How did you know about that?”

Adam’s eyes shined with intelligence. “My specialty is learning about people, and uncovering the truth. I chase those who hide.”

A memory of the journal flashed, amidst Sophia’s words. Was Adam hunting one of the women ?

Yet he kept his silence, honoring his promise. Perhaps one day his cousin would trust him with the truth.

Maybe time would change that.

Or perhaps, he would.

“If there’s anything I can do for you, Adam, you need only ask. We are family, after all.”

Satisfaction shone in his cousin’s eyes. “I appreciate that.”

He reached out a hand. Adam took it, then surprised him with a brotherly embrace. When he pulled back a minute later, somehow the weight of the dukedom seemed just a little less daunting.

Adam rubbed his hands together. “Now that that’s settled, there are a few matters we should discuss. You received numerous messages from your father’s business associates.”

Kenneth opened his mouth to offer an excuse, yet the words wouldn’t form. If he wanted a true connection, he had to be honest. “They attacked me the night I took Sophia.”

Adam’s features hardened. He traveled to the sideboard, poured two generous splashes of brandy and handed Kenneth a glass. “What happened?”

Kenneth conveyed the story, and Adam’s gaze darkened with every sentence. By the time he finished, his normally unflappable cousin was unequivocally furious. Seems he was not the only one discarding his neutral mask.

Kenneth drank the brandy in a single gulp. “I plan to confront them immediately, and this time there will be no doubt our business is concluded. Then I will claim Sophia.”

“I’d hoped you were joking about that.” Adam seemed only slightly calmer. “What happened during your meeting with Bradenton?”

Disaster. “Matters did not progress as I intended, yet nothing has changed.” No obstacle would lessen his resolve to marry his once and future captive. “Sophia will be my duchess.”

“So that Bradenton may suffer more?” Adam responded quietly. “You would sacrifice her future for your revenge?”

“Of course not.” Kenneth tightened. “Don’t you know me better than that?” It was the same question his cousin asked, and the discomfort was just as sharp. Why did no one understand his motivations had nothing to do with Bradenton, or revenge?

“Actually I do know you.” The accusation in his cousin’s eyes disappeared, replaced with understanding and empathy. “If you cannot be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself. Why is it so important she accepts your offer?” He straightened to his full height. “Why do you care so much about claiming Lady Sophia?”

Because he lo–

Kenneth froze.

The room wavered for just a moment, as life-defining uncertainties swirled. Pushing away forbidden thoughts, he forged ahead. “Because I kidnapped her. Because we were alone without a chaperone. Because I held her captive for a month.” The room sharpened. “Any gentleman would make an offer in such circumstances.”

If it was true, why did it sound so very wrong?

His cousin’s gaze was far too knowing. “Your offer was not accepted.”

“It’s preposterous.” Kenneth braced his hands on a wingback chair, squeezing the leathery fabric until the seams stretched. “Bradenton should be pleased, ecstatic even. Most lords would have demanded an immediate betrothal.”

“Bradenton isn’t most lords,” Adam reminded him “He loves his family, and does not bend to society’s rules. I implore you to reassess your revenge. I’ve known Bradenton my entire life. I cannot believe he murdered a man.”

“But the journal–”

“Was written by a drunk.”

Kenneth sucked in a breath.

“I apologize for my harshness, yet it’s necessary.” Adam’s voice remained steady. “You didn’t know your father, and you certainly don’t know Bradenton. Ask anyone in the ton, and they will say the same. Have you investigated the journal’s claims?”

Kenneth set his jaw. He’d never been a man to rush into judgment, or action. Yet when he read the journal, uncontrollable fury had sparked, and he’d acted without consideration or deliberation. Sophia claimed her brother couldn’t have committed such atrocities. Could there be any truth to her claims? “I suppose a deeper search can do no harm.”

“Excellent.” Adam leaned forward. “No matter what you discover, consider whether your hatred for Bradenton is greater than your regard for Sophia. Because if not, you could lose her.”

Not. In. This. Lifetime. “Losing her is not an option.”

“That’s what I thought.” The sides of Adam’s lips quirked up. “When do you plan to confront your attackers?”

“As soon as possible.” Kenneth pushed himself away from the chair. “I’m hoping they show up tonight at the Rawlings affair.”

“I’d like to help.” Adam finished his drink and placed the glass on the table. “I have some friends who do this sort of work. If you are amiable, they can provide assistance.”

Instincts demanded an immediate no, yet he hesitated. With Sophia involved, the criminals must be neutralized in whatever way possible. “Do you trust them?”

“With my life.”

With another pause, Kenneth nodded his agreement. It was strange and disconcerting, accepting help, yet the expected tension didn’t emerge. It felt almost good .

Something shifted, as he shook hands with the man who had changed his life, in so many ways. Adam was proving to be far more than a cousin.

Perhaps this was what it felt like to have a brother.

“This life is not as terrible as I imagined.” The murmured words came on their own, yet once uttered, it was shocking how very true they were.

His cousin stilled in clear surprise. “I’ve been trying to tell you that since you arrived.”

“I haven’t listened.” Kenneth ran his hand along the ladder, where he had caught Sophia. She had been so spirited, and so brave. “I resented the title so much, I was blind to the good it represented.”

“I know this isn’t the life you imagined.” Adam put a hand on his shoulder. “That doesn’t mean you can’t be happy.”

No, it didn’t.

He gazed at the beautiful adornments of the library. Despite his love of books, he’d allowed even this to be a source of negativity, a reminder of the unjust class differences the ton endlessly exploited. Yet perhaps he could strive to transform society instead. “The dukedom is an opportunity, a chance to do good.” He took a step underneath the many volumes. “It’s inexcusable for these priceless books to be locked away, seen by so few.”

“Your father didn’t even read them.” Adam selected a book with an ornate leather cover. “He considered them a sign of wealth rather than a treasure to be enjoyed.”

“Perhaps we can change that.” Kenneth rubbed his hands together, as possibilities shaped. “I could create some sort of library, a place where everyone can share in their riches.”

Approval shone in Adam’s eyes, bringing a level of satisfaction he’d never admit. “That’s a capital idea.”

“I can utilize the dukedom in other ways.” Kenneth took a step, as his heart quickened. “Use my new resources to better the world.” He’d always planned to meet the responsibilities of the dukedom, and he had his charitable endeavors, of course, yet perhaps he could go even further. He could start, rather than join, social campaigns.

Adam returned the book to the shelf, as a smile played at his lips. “My word. You almost seem happy.”

Happy. It wasn’t something he thought possible after he left Scotland. Yet why not? He contemplated the cousin he almost never met. “Perhaps I’ve been neglectful in appreciating the benefits of my new life. I am grateful for you and Grandmother.”

“And we are thankful for you.” Adam gestured to the paintings lining the walls. “You haven’t met much of our family, but they are good people. When things have settled, we should arrange a gathering so you can meet them. They would like to welcome you properly.”

“I’d like that.” He’d thought the dukedom would cost him his family, yet with his frequent trips back to Scotland, he hadn’t lost anyone. Instead, he’d gained a new family.

“I will arrange it.” Adam clasped his hands together. “This world is far from perfect, yet there is much to embrace. Of course, just because you accept the dukedom doesn’t mean you have to abdicate your life in Scotland.”

No, it didn’t. His life may now include more traveling and responsibilities, but he didn’t truly mind either. If he had a certain lady next to him…

He stood taller. “I’ve been so absorbed by the past, I’ve barely noticed the beauty of the present. From now on, I will stop focusing on what I lost and celebrate what I gained. Everything will be different.”

This could indeed be an amazing life.

“There’s one more thing.” Adam reached into his coat pocket and retrieved a small lavender book. “Clara wanted me to give this to you.”

Kenneth reached out and took the thin tome. “Clara?”

Adam dusted off his hands. “She gave it to me right before she departed on her trip. She thought it could be of use.”

Kenneth turned the book in his hands. Its cover was smooth, with no markings or letters to hint at its secrets. The scent of jasmine and cinnamon drifted by, and his breath caught.

It couldn’t be.

“I’ll leave you to it.”

Kenneth barely noticed Adam slinking from the room, or his quiet smile as he did so. He turned the page, and read:

Journal of the Duchess of Foxworth:

Love.

It is a powerful emotion, the strongest of all them, some would say. Worth more than any fortune, stronger than any sword, hope is its beacon. It is a power, over which wars have been fought, wealth given and gained, lives redeemed. I thought I was in love with a man who never truly existed, and although it was a facade, it gave me two beautiful gifts, the children I love and treasure more than life itself.

Some said I should give up on love, should eschew the fickle emotion and grasp something sturdier. Tempting indeed, yet I refused to give up hope that I may one day find true love.

It I had given up on love, I never would have found my Alastair.

We are not married, and never will be. Our class is not the same, and that will also never change. Yet our hearts meet as equals, our souls intertwined. My world is more glorious for his presence.

Love gives hope and joy, a home in this often bitter world. It is what I always wished for myself, and for those in my heart. When I left England, I could have succumbed to the bitterness. Instead I started anew, and I am forever glad I did, for I found a man I could be happy with for all my days. Perhaps not in the way the world demands, yet in the way my heart needs.

Love is beautiful and all-encompassing. Of all the things I wish for my children, may they find true love.

The book drifted from his fingers, its pages fluttering like time’s passing. He always believed love destroyed his mother, yet had it saved her instead?

Memories flitted by, his mother’s smiles, the sweet cadence of her laughter. Alastair had been her friend since childhood, the son of a tradesman. As a young woman, she had wanted to marry him, yet he thought she’d be happier in the splendors of London, among the glorified ton. He’d sacrificed his heart to help hers, yet in the end they had both lost.

Yet perhaps their story hadn’t ended there, as he always believed. Alastair visited often, and his mother glowed with happiness in his presence. He had been gone so much with his responsibilities, he never realized the truth. His mother never gave up on love. In the end, she found the match of which she always dreamed.

Kenneth traced the elegant script on the pages. “Thank you, Mother,” he whispered. “For this one last lesson you taught me.”