Page 7 of The Unseen Hour (The Unseen Hour Duology #1)

I shook my head, dazzled at how my hair stayed in place even as my neck whipped about. My attendants were truly skilled, and I inwardly groaned at how long it would take to remove all the pins after our arrival home, when all I wanted to do was sleep and forget this conversation.

Not that I’d be sleeping even if my hair were loose. I turned my attention back toward Mother.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I preferred it that way. In fact, we could wait another few years if?— ”

“You have delayed long enough! Arguably too long! Within another year or two, people will be saying you’re an old maid, and what of your options then?”

Then I’d be free to live in peace and get into whatever mischief I wanted.

At least that was what I was tempted to retort with.

The problem was, my mother was right. In one small detail only.

I didn’t want to be alone. I did want marriage and a relationship, but I wanted it on my terms. I wanted romance and passion, and I still wanted freedom.

“And what about a loveless marriage? What about being forced to become nothing more than a woman who has babies and exists on her husband’s arm?”

Mother flinched, and I regretted my words. After all, Mother had done just that, dedicating herself to her children, and prior to my father’s death she had been vivacious and charming.

“Mother, I’m happy your choices brought you joy, and that’s what I’m asking for myself. I want to be my own person, and have my own adventures. You used to encourage that. When Father was here?—”

“When he was here we had more safety and security! It was his own reckless choices that took him out that night and cost us all. I will not have you following in those footsteps. I could not bear to see something happen to you, Celia.”

Tears glistened in the corners of my mother’s eyes, and I bit down on a retort.

I knew the fear and pressure was coming from a place of grief, but that would mean nothing if I ended up married to someone like Bellamy for the rest of my days, doomed to talk of nothing more interesting than the unusual amount of rain or whether the bread was particularly dry at dinner.

My mother sighed, putting a hand to her forehead and giving it a sharp squeeze before dropping her hands in her lap and looking at me again .

“I’m thinking only of your future, Celia. At some point I won’t be around, either. I know your brothers will look after you, but I want you to have your own home. I want you to have your own security, and that means a good marriage.”

I almost pointed out that the queen ruled just fine in the king’s prolonged and mysterious absence, but I held my tongue, knowing the argument would make no difference.

The queen was the queen, and she didn’t have a mother pushing suitors on her.

She had the officials of Emrys, constantly trying to push her out.

My mother reached back out, taking my hands.

“If the other choices are really all so unpalatable, why not marry Thomas? The Huberts are a good family. You have a friendship with Charlotte as well. Your life would be comfortable.”

True, I’d rather spend my days at the Huberts’ estate than anywhere near many of the other men who had been interested in me, but it seemed fair to neither Thomas nor myself.

In spite of any rumors, we had no desire to wed each other.

I knew, having seen it in past seasons, that friendships could blossom into something more, but that hadn’t been the case with us.

I truly viewed him as platonically as I did my own siblings.

Just the thought of being intimate with and having children with Thomas made me uncomfortable.

Even if I was willing to set that aside and marry him to prevent a worse fate, I couldn’t ask it of him.

Thomas, like myself, had his own dreams. He wasn’t interested in marriage at all, from what he had shared with Charlotte and me.

I couldn’t ask him to sacrifice that to save me from a lifetime of living with a boorish man.

Besides, I reminded myself, if I can hold Mother off for just the remainder of the season, it won’t matter. I’ll rescue Father, and she’ll have other things to focus on .

My future would hinge on my success during the Unseen Hour, just like my father’s fate. This whole conversation was meaningless, and I could afford to give in for appearances.

“I will seriously consider potential suitors. Lord Whipples did look handsome this evening, did he not?” It was a safe choice, because I knew the earl in question had eyes for Charlotte, but my mother beamed nonetheless and spent the remainder of the ride discussing the various advantages of his family.

When the carriage arrived at Scopshaven, I breathed a sigh of relief and returned to my rooms.

The conversation had driven home the need for me to maintain my focus.

Everyone else would be as exhausted from the evening as I was, but that meant I had to take advantage while I could.

This was the perfect opportunity to follow the next step on my father’s trail.