Page 20 of The Understatement of the Year

“I don’t think I can make them do that,” I whispered back.

She held my eyes for a long moment, and I saw understanding flicker through hers. But then her evil grin reappeared. “Seriously — you don’t like facial hair? Iloveit. Even when it chafes my inner thighs.Especiallythen.”

With a groan, I closed my eyes, banging my head into the headrest.Thanks for that image, Bella. Of all the people on the bus to remind me how horny I was, who knew it would be a chick? Fuck my life.

She giggled. “I just had the best idea.”

“I can’t wait to hear it.”

“Just for fun, I’m going to tell everyone on the team that you don’t like facial hair. By Christmas, they’ll all be as hairy as Wolf Man.”

The laugh erupted from me before I could hold it in. “Or you could try the reverse, just for kicks. Tell them I’mhotfor facial hair, and by tomorrow they’ll all be as clean-shaven as the Marine Corps.”

We laughed until the tears were leaking down Bella’s face.

“What’s so funny?” A head popped up from the seat in front of us to ask. But it belonged to Groucho, a senior defenseman with the shaggiest beard on the team. Bella howled again, and Groucho began to frown.

“Time for chocolate,” I said, digging into my bag. Because everyone responds to chocolate. I should probably buy it in bulk.

The bus rolled on. We were heading to an invitational in Boston. We’d play one game tonight and another one tomorrow.

With the program still open in her lap, Bella scribbled on the legal pad, occasionally crossing something out and grumbling.

“What are you doing, anyway?” I asked.

“Hotel room assignments. It’s like planning the seating at a wedding.”

That got my attention. “What are you going to do with me? You’ll be my roommate, right?”

“I can’t,” she said, making a note on her page. “The athletic department woman has to be with me. We’re the only chicks.”

Well, fuck. “How about Hartley?”

“He asked me to put him with Frenchie, so he can keep an eye on him. Apparently the kid doesn’t like to leave his bong at home. And Hartley doesn’t want anyone to get arrested.”

“Who then?”

“I’m working on it.” Under her breath, she counted all the names on the page. As I watched, she crossed off a name and switched it with another one. “Okay, I think I’m going to put you in with Graham.”

“Whoa,” I said, my heart dropping into my stomach. “You can’t do that.”

She looked up, and her expression was full of genuine surprise. “Why not?”

I swallowed, trying to keep the panic off my face. “That dudeseriouslydoes not like me. I’m not kidding. Big-D would probably be happier to see me than Graham.”

Bella’s eyes narrowed. “You didnotjust compare Graham to Big-D.”

I blinked back at her, having no idea what to say. It didn’t matter that I knew the difference between Big-D, who was just an all-around bigot and total asshole, and Graham, who hated me for a very special reason. We could not share a room.

“Graham is just a big teddy bear,” Bella went on. “I wish everyone would just get off his case.” Two pink spots appeared on her cheekbones.

If ever there was a moment for treading lightly, I had found it. Because I realized then that there were a couple of details that I’d missed. Though she claimed to be a free agent, Bella obviously carried some kind of a torch for Graham. The flush on her face suggested that he was herfavoriteteddy bear. (Though she’d probably be shocked to learn that I’d snuggled him first.) And also, she was concerned about him. Probably because he had been sucking wind at practice lately.

What to do?

“I’m not on Graham’s case, Bella,” I said softly. “But if you want him relaxed and ready to play, I’m telling you that you should give him a different roommate.”

Bella stuck her nose back into her work. “I’ll take it under advisement. But rooms are tight. And you’re wrong about him.”