Page 29 of The Tycoon (The Douglas Brothers #1)

dolly

I am completely numb. Devoid of any and all emotion. Is this what shock feels like? Sutton keeps telling me it is, so this must be normal. It’s just so strange. I think I should be feeling something. But I just feel…empty.

I don’t know how long we’ve been lying in bed, but it’s now dark outside. The Dallas skyline is beautiful at night, almost as gorgeous as San Diego’s. It normally fills me with a sense of awe, but I couldn’t care less right now. Apathy, thy name is Dolly.

Sutton has been holding me since coming home from my apartment, tenderly rocking me in his arms and sweetly playing with my hair.

Humming lullabies with his deep voice and telling me humorous stories about his childhood.

At least I think he has. I’m not really sure, I honestly haven’t been paying attention.

Apparently, I keep dozing off. I don’t even realize that I’m asleep until Sam’s beastly face flashes before mine. I wake up screaming and continue until Sutton calms me down. It takes me a moment or two, then I revert back to nothingness.

I do wonder if this will happen every time I fall asleep? Will I always see his cold, demonic eyes? Will I always feel his gluttonous, unwanted touch? I hope not. God, please don’t let that happen.

Sighing softly, I focus on the steady beat of Sutton’s heart as it thrums against the shell of my ear.

Cuddling against his chest, I stare at the downtown buildings just outside the window.

I stay like this for what seems like forever, trying to muster up the courage to talk to him about what has been filtering into my nearly flatlined brain.

While most of my thoughts are fuzzy, two things are crystal clear.

One, he has killed Sam.

Two, he has cheated on me.

When I think about Sutton killing Sam, my mind and body fills with detached static.

No, wait. That’s not entirely true. I think I do feel a sense of…

relief? Yes, it’s definitely a sense of relief.

Is that wrong of me? Does that make me a bad person?

Will I be going to hell because I don’t hate Sutton for killing him?

Maybe. But then again, I prayed for help and God heard me.

He sent Sutton to save me. He acted as my guardian angel.

Although God protected me, I should still be worried about the ramifications.

Right? I mean, we did leave the scene of a crime.

Not just a crime, a murder. I should be freaking out, but Sutton said not to worry.

He swears he has everything under control.

I don’t know what that means, but Mama’s voice echoes in my head about the family's appetites. Do they have the money to get away with something like this? Have they gotten away with something like this before? Probably, but I don’t have the energy to dwell on that right now.

If the authorities do come knocking, I’m positive they will side with his actions.

It was in the heat of the moment; he was protecting me.

At the very least, Sam was going to rape me.

At the most? I shudder to think. As gross and twisted as it sounds, I can make peace with what he has done.

While Sam was like a brother to me, I am grateful that Sutton saved me.

God, that’s sick. How can I be thankful for my future husband killing my best friend? Even if God ordained it, I am a twisted, wicked woman for feeling grateful. I am a vile, hideous creature. I will surely be going to hell.

In my moment of self-hatred, I realize that after being numb for hours, I’m starting to feel again.

My shock must be wearing off, I’m no longer a paralyzed doll.

As if I’ve flipped a light switch, my mental awareness causes my body to respond violently.

Unable to regulate myself, I tremble from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

I grow clammy and feverish, sweat beads along my hairline.

My heart races as if I’m running a marathon, panic takes up root in my queasy stomach.

Spurned by my violent physical reactions, my raw emotions follow suit.

What starts as a trickle, soon turns into a massive flood.

Everything hits me all at once, leaving me gasping for air.

While I feel a myriad of conflicting emotions, there’s one that fills me completely.

Anger. There is so much molten anger bubbling beneath my skin.

It reminds me of the second undeniable fact.

Sutton has cheated on me.

I repeat this phrase over and over in my mind. Each time, it becomes louder and louder until I can no longer keep it contained. Before I can measure myself, it comes tumbling from my mouth in a seething hiss.

“You cheated on me!”

Sutton stiffens beneath me.

“What?” he asks, his voice encased in confusion.

Gritting my teeth, I repeat myself, enunciating each word.

“You. Cheated. On. Me!”

Pulling himself into a seated position, he looks at me like I have grown a third eye. Huffing an odd laugh, he shakes his head.

“No, never. I would never chea–”

“I SAW IT, SUTTON!” I scream.

Sitting up, I toss the comforter from our bodies and boldly climb onto him.

Straddling his lap, I bring my face to within an inch of his.

His strong hands settle on my waist, worry flashes across his handsome face.

I know he’s trying to deescalate the situation by staying as calm as possible, but it’s not going to work.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt such rage.

“Sam showed me the video!” I yell.

“What video?” he asks.

“SHH! LET ME SPEAK!” I scream.

Pushing out a shaky breath, he reluctantly nods.

I pause for a moment to make sure he won’t interrupt me again. His fingertips press into my skin, encouraging me to continue. I hate that his touch calms me just enough to stop me from screaming.

“Sam was down at River Walk last night and saw you.”

Sutton’s dark blue eyes widen, his mouth falls open in shock. He is terrified, the guilty bastard knows he’s been caught.

“He took a video, you know. And imagine my surprise when I saw fucking Savannah slink on up to you! She bent down, licked your neck…which, by the way, you sure as hell looked like you loved that! Anyways, you stood up, took her arm, and walked out of the restaurant. Like hell you were in meetings all night, Sutton! You were fucking your assistant all night! That’s what you were doing!

I mean, hell! Look at your face! The sex must have been wild for her to claw you like that! ”

Shaking his head, he closes his eyes. I watch as he clenches and relaxes his jaw. When he opens his eyes again, I’m taken aback when I notice them start to well with tears.

“Oh, Dolly that…no, you’ve got it all wrong,” he says, his voice filled with pain.

Not wanting to be swayed by his poor little ole’ me act, I roll my eyes. Fully sitting down on his lap, I fold my arms over my chest.

“Do I? Do I really?” I retort, my tone thick with annoyance.

Nodding his head, his chin trembles as two tears roll down his face.

“You do. That…that woman wasn’t Savannah,” he whispers.

Pulling back slightly, my head leans as I survey his guilt-ridden expression.

I am both disgusted and confused. Disgusted because he copped up to being out on a date with another woman.

Confused as to why he’s denying that the brunette is his assistant.

I have met the woman, I think I know what she looks like.

“It wasn’t Savannah?! Then who the hell was it? Huh? Who did you fuck, Sutton?”

“I didn’t fuck anyone, Dolly! These claw marks weren’t given to me during sex!

I swear to God! Yes, I took this woman out to dinner BUT, but!

It’s not what you think…I swear! Please…

please…just let me explain!” he begs, his southern accent ramping with every word.

“Please, allow me to tell you the whole ugly truth!”

Blinking at him, I scan for any hint of a lie.

I have never seen him look like this, he’s desperate and coming undone.

All the color has drained from his face, his eyes are wild and glassy with unshed tears.

His hands shake as they continue to hold my waist. It’s such a departure from the cool and collected man he portrays to be.

Nodding my head, I agree to hear him out. I’m genuinely curious as to what he has to say.

“Fine. Talk.”

Swallowing hard, he tries to regain his composure. Taking a handful of regulated breaths, more tears tumble down his newly paled cheeks as he speaks.

“Before…before I begin. I have to let you know that when you learn everything… when you know what I am…you’ll have to make a very important decision, Dolly,” he says, hardening his features. “There will be no going back.”

Goosebumps dance along my exposed skin, his ominous words cause my heart to jump into my throat. I’m not sure I like the sound of this.

“What kind of decision, Sutton?” I ask.

Lifting his right hand from my waist, he moves to cup my cheek. The pad of his thumb swipes tenderly over my skin, adoration flashes behind his crying eyes.

“I can’t lose you. I can’t…but when you know who I am, what I have done, you will have to decide on our fate, Dolly.

Accept me and we will live happily ever after.

I will make sure you never want for anything.

I will worship you in every way, shape, and form.

I will spend every single second of every single day making sure that you know that you are loved and cherished beyond measure.

For the rest of our lives, you will have me wrapped around your little pinky finger.

I will relinquish my power to you if you choose me. ”

“And if I don’t?” I ask.

“If you don’t,” he says, his deep voice wavering as he drops his hand from my face. “Then you will break both of our hearts.”

My mind reels with the implications of his heavy words. I know what he’s about to tell me isn’t going to be good. I hope I’m strong enough to make the right choice.

“Alright. Tell me who you are.”

Taking a deep breath, he frees his last set of tears with a calculated blink.

“I murder people and sell their organs on the black market. The woman in the video…I don’t even know her name. I was tasked with killing her so that our great Senator Paul Murphy’s niece could have her liver.”

Laughing in disbelief, I wait for him to tell me he’s joking. He stares at me, giving me a knowing look.

“I’m not kidding, Princess.”

An ice-cold shiver runs down the length of my spine.

This was the last thing I expected him to say.

Mama’s words echo in my mind; things start to click into place.

These are the disturbing appetites and family secrets she was speaking of.

The ones I will have to uphold if I am to be brought into the Douglas family.

Holy shit. I think I’m going to be sick.

“You killed that woman for her liver?”

He lets out a defeated sigh.

“Yes.”

“You sell organs on the black market?” I ask, my voice breaking.

Nodding his head, his tongue darts out nervously to lick his lips.

“Yes. Well, for the most part. Sometimes, like with this woman, I’m tasked with killing someone for a specific organ with a recipient in mind.

Politicians, actors, musicians, professional athletes, businessmen…

our clientele run the gamut of who’s who in America.

My family, we’re involved in a lot of dark things, Dolly.

This is just one of them. For generations we’ve skirted morality.

This is who we are, this is who we will always be. ”

Swallowing back the bile rising in my throat, I try my best to absorb his words. This is why the Douglas family is so rich and powerful. They are part of the machine that most of our society doesn’t want to believe exists. I am at a complete and total loss; how can I move forward from this?

“Can you stop?” I ask, my tone wrought with desperation.

Leaning his head, he gives me the tiniest of grins. Not because he’s pleased, but because he knows that I probably won’t love his answer.

“I wish I could, Princess…since you have come into my life, my desire to kill has grown cold. Please believe me when I tell you that I didn’t want to kill that woman.

I was forced to. But I can’t quit this. If I tried to, my family would become a liability.

My entire family, Dolly. Do you get what I’m saying?

So as much as I would love to right now, it isn’t an option for me.

I am tied to this darkness until my last breath…

just as I am tied to your love,” he says, once again lifting his hand to touch my face.

My breath hitches, my shoulders sag as I meet his conflicted eyes. He’s going to ask me to make an impossible choice.

“This isn’t an either or situation, Dolly. This darkness and our love can go hand in hand. I promise they can.”

Leaning in, he brings his handsome face close to mine. Keeping my gaze, his lips curl into the little smirk that even now, after everything that has happened and everything I’ve learned, turns me to jelly.

“I love you Dolly. Please…stay with me? Be with me? Let me worship you?” he begs. Closing the space between us, his lips brush over mine as he continues to speak. “Accept my darkness, accept my family. We can make this work. We can. I promise.”

Whimpering softly, I allow him to kiss me.

His lips are hesitant, moving over mine with the lightest touch.

My stomach ties into sharp knots as I melt into him.

What he’s asking of me is evil, it goes against everything I’ve been taught is right and good.

I should tell him no, I should push him away and curse him to hell.

But I can’t bring myself to. Despite what I know, I love him.

Fiercely. Uncontrollably. Undeniably. I am his until my last breath.

“Choose, Princess,” he husks, pulling me flush against him.

Deepening the kiss, I feel his desperation and need as he slips his tongue into my mouth.

Sliding it over mine, he coaxes me into returning his affection.

Every second that passes, he becomes a little more insistent.

Demanding my love, demanding my obedience.

I do so gladly, losing my mind and my morals within his passion.

Without warning, Sutton breaks our hungry kiss with a masculine groan.

Abruptly pulling away, he leaves me wanting and breathless.

His deep blue eyes lock onto mine as he lifts his hand to trace my lips with the tip of his index finger.

This is one of the most surreal and intense moments of my life, I don’t know if I can agree to what he desires.

“Now it's time to make your choice, my beautiful Dolly,” he says, his voice warm and deep. “Be a good girl and choose correctly.”