Page 8 of The Tides of March (Moon Murder Mysteries)

Seven

D espite feeling like a square peg that had been jammed into a round hole, Tony had settled into a comfortable routine at Nox’s place. He was still having strange, vivid dreams about Ronan and woke up throughout the night in excruciating pain. But it was nice being able to sleep in since Nox lived within walking distance of the university. And something was always happening at the townhouse. Merlin was often popping in with a reply from one of his contacts or Fletcher Bixby would drive up from Roanoke with a report or a similar case.

The twins, Arawn and Bryn, were regular visitors. Tony had been thoroughly stunned when he was told that they were hellhounds from the Wild Hunt, and that Bryn’s beloved Everly was a changeling. The unlikely pair was engaged and their upcoming wedding was another frequent topic of conversation at the townhouse. But Tony was warded and warned to be on guard around the incredibly beautiful and curiously small young man.

“Everly’s a muse. You don’t want to risk becoming obsessed,” Nox had explained.

He was being a lot more open, but Nox whispered that it might be best if Tony stepped out when Nelson arrived with another file.

“The Coast Guard sent this an hour ago,” he had informed them before Nox flashed Tony a sheepish wince and tried to shoo him off.

“I’ve been back and helping for over a month but you’re still treating me like a child,” Tony muttered as he snatched his backpack from the sofa.

“Alright. You two: out,” Nox said to Nelson and Merlin, pointing at the door. He waited until it shut behind them to pass Tony a crime scene photo. “Here,” he said quietly. His voice trembled like the photo as he waited for Tony to take it. “I can’t help but shield you from the darkness, T. I’d hide it all from you to save as much of your beautiful light as I can.”

“I’m not a child,” he repeated and Nox shook his head quickly.

“I know. I don’t do it because I think you’re a child, but because I love you. Exposure to this much pain and evil can be corrosive,” he explained tenderly but Tony didn’t see much of a difference.

“I can take it.”

“Of course, you can.” Nox’s head tilted and his eyes were soft and shimmered as he studied Tony, adding salt to an already bitter wound. “But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t spare you as much pain as possible. I’d do the same for Nelson.”

“Sure you would,” Tony said with a dry snicker but it faded when his eyes dropped to the picture. “Christ,” he whispered at the twisted, lifeless body of a young man. Like the others, he was naked and covered in round welts and bruises. “Another one.”

“Another one,” Nox confirmed sadly. “Wouldn’t it have been enough if I had just told you? Did you need to see him too?” he asked and Tony nodded jerkily. “But I can see more of that magick light dimming,” Nox said, his voice cracking as he watched Tony.

He raised a shoulder, mesmerized by the horror on the page. “Not as much as his. He was a light too and it was completely snuffed out.”

“It was,” Nox agreed, his tone slightly patronizing. “But darkening your soul won’t bring him back. And it wouldn’t have saved any of those girls or stopped Walt,” he added, cutting right to the heart of Tony’s grief and his deepest regrets.

“How do you know?” he snapped loudly. “You made all those decisions for me but how do you know I couldn’t have helped you find them sooner or realized it was him before more people died?” he shouted, then covered his mouth, stunned and shaking. Before then, Tony hadn’t been able to put his finger on why it had hurt so much that he’d been left out. “What if I could have helped you find them or what if I could have stopped Walt myself?”

Nox made a knowing sound as he put an arm around Tony and kissed his temple. “You would have found a way to blame yourself, more than you already do.”

Tears spilled from Tony’s eyes as a wave of anger and disgust swelled within him. For so many months, Tony hadn’t been able to understand why he was so bitter or who he truly blamed. He was suddenly so sick with himself as he realized how weak and easily manipulated he had been. “How could I have missed it? About both of you?” he cried, but Nox shushed Tony as he pulled him close and rocked them.

“You cannot possibly begin to fathom all the ways you were misled. By Walt and by me. He needed you to buy his lies so he could use you and I lied because I was scared.”

“Scared? Of what?” Tony challenged. “You’re…a demigod!” he said, laughing incredulously and putting a little space between them.

That got a loud cackle out of Nox. “Come on, T! You can’t tell me you wouldn’t think that was terrifying. I lied to myself about it and I ran like hell from the truth for as long as I could.”

“Bet you told Clancy,” Tony said, crossing his arms over his chest. Nox may have hid the truth from a goofy minion like Tony, but Nox revered his mentor, Professor Darach Clancy, much in the same way he loved and respected Merlin. “How did he take it?”

Nox drew back, blinking as his eyes watered. “How did Clancy take it?” he echoed hoarsely and Tony nodded.

“Did you worry if he’d believe you and about dimming his light?”

“No…” Nox shook his head, sniffing hard as he advanced on Tony. “Would you like to see what you’ve missed and how Clancy took the news?” he asked.

Tony nodded faintly. “Yeah. I think…”

“I can show you now,” Nox said as he raised his hands and reached for Tony’s face. “I can revisit any moment I want and I can take you with me,” he said, his hands hovering around Tony’s face as he waited for permission.

“Yes!” Tony whispered, too enthralled and ravenously curious to say anything else.

“Close your eyes and breathe with me,” Nox commanded gently. He closed his eyes and slowly drew in a deep breath, then exhaled gradually.

“Okay.” Tony pushed out a steady breath, focusing as he shut his eyes. He felt Nox’s hands close around his face and gasped as they spun. The temperature plummeted, making Tony’s toes feel cold and damp in his sneakers. He hugged his arms, shivering as he opened his eyes. He gasped again as he turned, taking in the forest and the drizzling, overcast night around them. “How did you—?” he started but forgot his question and the words melted on Tony’s tongue when he saw an empty, antler altar nailed to a large oak tree. “Are we…?” he asked as he approached it on shaking legs.

“This is New Castle,” Nox confirmed, standing next to Tony. “This is when I first began to suspect,” he said softly, raising his right hand. Torches lit around them and Tony could smell juniper and meadowsweet.

“You didn’t know before? You said your dad told you the secret when you were a kid,” Tony said distantly, slowly scanning all the hanging antlers and the torches around them. He could hear drums beating and women crying as he turned back to the altar. A young woman’s body was tied to the trunk, her bowels spilling into a cauldron. Her eyes had been gouged out and her tongueless mouth was stretched into a silent scream. “Shit!” Tony fell back, onto the grass, and scrambled away from the tree.

“This is how I first met Elsa Hansen.”

“Jesus! Elsa!” Tony swallowed hard, thinking of Elsa’s sister, Heidi. He’d befriended Heidi while helping out at Bippity Boppity Books and Tony reeled, he was so heartbroken and furious at the senselessness.

“I was told a story I could barely believe and then I was told to forget about it,” Nox said as he stared at Elsa, his voice sad and fragile. “But none of that could have prepared me for this.” He was hurting as he stood before her, offended and devastated.

Tony could practically feel the pain and anger rolling from Nox as he rose and went to join him. “You were afraid,” he said and Nox nodded, unable to pull his eyes away from Elsa.

“Somehow, I knew this was for me.”

“For you?” Tony said but shook his head wildly. “You would never want this!”

“No!” Nox covered his mouth, crying as he finally turned away from the altar on the tree. “But this was when I first began to fear that the curse that had skipped all the other MacIlwraiths —and had merely killed them—had finally caught up with me. Here was where I started to suspect that I had ‘won’ the cosmic lottery.”

“What did you do?”

A soft chuckle answered. “I plugged my ears and shut my eyes as tight as I could. I fought like hell and denied it was happening whenever Merlin or Clancy tried to talk to me about it. And I immersed myself in the investigation, determined to solve the human riddle before the metaphysical one caught up with me.”

Tony’s cheeks puffed out as he nodded. “I remember how driven you were to find those girls, I just couldn’t understand why you were taking it so personally.”

“It was very personal,” Nox replied, holding up his hands. “Close your eyes,” he said but Tony drew back.

“What else are you going to show me?” he asked, suddenly afraid.

“It’s time to meet Ma MacCrory,” Nox said as his hands cradled Tony’s face. “Unless you’d like to go back,” he offered, sounding hopeful. “You can just take my word for it and accept that I couldn’t explain, when I barely understood what was happening myself. There are still parts that baffle me,” Nox admitted.

“Then, show me,” Tony said, closing his eyes. “Maybe we can make sense of this together.”

“Maybe,” Nox replied but sounded skeptical.

They were in the cramped, filthy kitchen of a trailer when Tony opened his eyes. He was momentarily disgusted by all the dirty dishes and rotting trash heaped on the counter and filling the sink, but jumped and swore when he noticed the bent and shriveled corpse of an elderly woman on the floor. Her tattered blue housecoat was smeared with various food stains and coffee grounds and she’d kicked off one of her pink house slippers.

“This is her?” Tony asked weakly, raising a fist to his nose to block some of the smell. He didn’t know how it was possible, but the odors were so real and so intense, they made Tony’s stomach churn and he swallowed acid as it tickled his throat.

“This is her,” Nox said as he lowered to a knee next to the elderly woman’s corpse. “This was our first sign that the mastermind was tying up loose ends and this is when I first heard Him. ”

“ Him ?” Tony asked as he lowered next to Nox and studied the woman’s face. He remembered that she had died from yew poisoning and noted the paleness of her skin and how gray her lips looked.

“The Dagda,” Nox said and Tony’s eyes swung to his face, the body forgotten.

“You heard Him ?” He didn’t hide his awe and leaned in as Nox nodded.

“I had started slipping, saying things in Gaelic. But this was the first time I heard Him and when I really started checking out. I can’t say how quickly it happened or how often, but there were days when it seemed like He was behind the wheel more than I was.”

“Oh, God!” Tony gasped but Nox smirked.

“Oh Dagda, actually,” he said, making Tony pull a face. Nox grinned wryly and shrugged. “At that point, I was just a pawn and the Dagda was more interested in getting even with an identity thief.”

“Walt,” Tony said and Nox nodded.

“This was Walt’s opening move, when he was ready to draw me out.”

“What did he do?”

Nox’s eyes narrowed as he stood, gesturing for Tony to follow as he headed around the wall and sidestepped through the waist-high mess in the trailer’s living room. “He cursed me. Or, at least he tried to,” Nox said, his lip curling as he made his way to a weakly-lit room at the end of the short hallway. He used the toe of his boot to push open the door and fanned in front of his face when they were hit by another blast of putrid odors.

Flies buzzed loudly and swarmed around a shrine in the closet, drawing Tony’s attention and making the hairs on the back of his neck and arms stand. “What’s that?” he asked, his voice wavering as his nerves fizzed.

“Take a look,” Nox insisted and waved at it, but wouldn’t look. His eyes were fixed on a point in the hallway.

“Okay…” Tony edged closer, noting an old cast-iron cauldron buried beneath mounds of melted candles. In it, he found chunks of molded, maggot-infested, half-charred bits of animal bones and meat, but he also spotted an open locket and the remnants of a photo. A child’s face beamed at Tony through the soot and debris and he was furious when he recognized it. “That’s you! I’ve seen that picture at your place!”

Nox nodded quickly, his tears making soft pattering sounds as they hit the matted carpet. “Those were both sacred and Walt stole them from me in broad daylight. He used a demon’s spell so he could walk right in and then, he made me forget.”

“That son of a bitch!” Tony spat, making Nox chuckle as he headed down the hall.

He gestured for Tony to follow. “She was, but we’ll save Sheila Forsythe for another day,” he said as he got the front door for Tony.

“Thanks!” he said, relieved to get out of the MacCrorys’ disgusting trailer. He leaped out and took a deep breath, then jumped when he saw a giant, faded skull and triskelion painted over the door of a sagging barn.

“There’s an even bigger one on the side,” Nox said as he joined Tony on the porch. “I’ll save you the trouble of asking, the barn’s full of antlers. It’s like a thicket and you can’t move in there without getting stuck. That’s where Elsa Hansen spent her last days and she died in that field, running for her life,” he said as he pointed at an open field and the forest behind it.

“What’s—?” Tony started to ask, squinting at the shimmering coils in the knee-high weeds, but stopped when he realized what he was seeing. Hundreds of yards of concertina wire and claymore mines crisscrossed the field, creating a no man’s land between the MacCrorys’ property and the woods. “These people were monsters,” he said shakily.

“Almost as evil as the creature that attacked you. Time to close your eyes,” Nox said and Tony happily snapped them shut.

“I never want to see this place again.”

“Awful, isn’t it?” Nox murmured. “I return to these places often in my nightmares.” His hands were cold and shaking as they cupped Tony’s cheeks. “Breathe with me,” he reminded Tony.

He obeyed, nodding faintly as he inhaled with Nox and slowly let it out. “Whoa!” Tony whispered when the wind stilled and he felt hard linoleum beneath his feet. He was warmer—indoors, obviously—and the place smelled strongly of disinfectant.

“You can open your eyes,” Nox said, releasing Tony and stepping aside.

Tony opened his eyes and his shoulders immediately drew in as he smothered a squeal. There were covered corpses on metal autopsy tables on either side of him. “Oh, fuck!” he whimpered and bit into a knuckle to keep from screaming. “You could have warned me that there would be more bodies. You know how freaked out I get about morgues and cemeteries!”

“You wanted to learn and help me make sense of this,” Nox pointed out. “I’m too scared to take you back to Julian Sherwood’s basement and I didn’t think you wanted to watch him die in prison.”

Tony shook his head. “No! Is he…?” His finger shook as he pointed at each of the corpses.

“Here,” Nox said as he went to the smaller one and drew back the sheet, revealing Julian’s face. “He came to his senses and he regretted everything at the end,” he whispered, his voice a sorrowful rasp as he traced Julian’s cheek with his knuckle. “Your father has forgiven you and he still loves you.”

“Do you think Julian can hear you or see us?” Tony asked.

Nox shrugged. “We’ve found our way back here. Or to some version of the Hoover Building’s basement. It seems possible that Julian could as well. To me, at least,” he said and canted toward Tony. “I’ve heard rumors that the basement was haunted. What if we’re haunting it right now?”

“No way!” Tony spun and searched around them for witnesses but they were alone. Except for the other corpse. “Who’s that?”

“Ol’ Colin MacCrory. But he’s not the one who haunts me,” Nox said as he eased the sheet back over Julian’s head. “Like you, he had been manipulated by Walt. But Julian was nursing a broken heart and Walt had twisted his love for Elsa into something so dark and vicious, Julian turned on his own father.”

“Poor Howard,” Tony said, making Nox sigh.

“A sweeter or more generous soul doesn’t exist,” he stated sadly.

“No. Howard’s the best. I’m glad you asked me to help out at the bookstore. He’s like the dad I never had.”

Nox’s smile was sincere as he turned, giving Tony’s arm an affectionate squeeze. “I’m glad. You’re a lot like the son he lost, from what Howard tells me. I didn’t know Julian before Walt got his hooks into him, but Howard says he was a gentle, sensitive soul.”

“Love can really do a number on you,” Tony said with a wince. “Especially when you give one-hundred percent of yourself and it still isn’t enough.”

“I’m really sorry about Aubrey,” Nox said, giving Tony’s arm another tender knead.

“Aubrey? Right!” Tony nodded. “I’m pretty much over that,” he said with a dismissive wave. Because he was. Thanks to Ronan.

“Are you sure? You’ve seemed…more down about her since you came back from Pooles Island.”

“Have I?” Tony asked cluelessly, then wrinkled his nose. “Could we…not discuss this…here?” he requested and Nox hissed apologetically.

“I might be stalling. This next part is the hardest and still hurts the worst.”

“We could skip it,” Tony suggested but Nox clicked his teeth.

“I can’t chicken out now. Not when you’ve been so brave.” He drew Tony to him and kissed his forehead. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

Tony pushed out a steadying breath and shut his eyes. “Okay.” When he opened them, they were in Nox’s foyer. “We’re back? Is it over?” he asked Nox, then spun when he saw another Nox out of the corner of his eye in the study with Nelson.

“Welcome to my worst nightmare,” the Nox beside him said and gestured at the study.

“This?” Tony frowned as he noted that Nox was talking—yelling—at Merlin and Clancy while Nelson’s head hung. The study doors were open but Tony couldn’t hear what Nox was saying. “What happened? What did they do?”

“Go see,” Nox insisted. “I’ll wait over here.” He went to the stairs and sat, resting his forearms on his knees. “They won’t see you or hear you.”

“Okay.” But Tony didn’t feel okay as he approached the quarrel in the study and stepped over the threshold.

“Tell me again!” Nox roared, one hand twisting in his hair and the other clutching his robe as he rocked. “I need you to explain this so I understand because I can’t! ” Tears spilled down his face and his eyes burned, bright red and huge as he stared at Nelson.

“Alright…” Nelson nodded and forced out a long, hard breath. “It was their job to protect your family—but mostly the heir—and they’ve been trying to prepare you to meet the Dagda,” he began and Tony let out a loud, horrified gasp but no one in the room noticed as he clapped his hands over his mouth and shook his head, sickened and scared of what was coming next. Nelson shot Nox a pained, pleading look but continued. “Clancy allowed the cult to happen because he thought it would awaken the god in you and Merlin thought that if he…designed you to channel the Dagda and be strong enough, that you might have a chance of beating this. They’ve been working together in their shitty, dysfunctional way and agreed that my return and our attraction to each other was a sign. They’ve been pushing us together with the investigation and drugging my tea because I’m your connection to the Dagda and it’s my duty to bind you to him and protect that bond.”

Tony’s legs became too weak and he dropped to his knees, crying. He was stunned by Merlin and Clancy’s betrayal and heartbroken as he witnessed Nox’s utter devastation.

“How could you?” Nox bellowed as he pointed at Clancy. The walls shook as wind filled the room, swirling and sending pages and pens flying. “How could you? Those girls!” His voice thundered as Clancy was hurled back, into the bookshelves behind him.

That was more than Tony’s heart could take. He got to his feet and backed out of the study, grateful for the peace of the foyer once he’d cleared the threshold.

“I would have incinerated the whole house and everyone in it, if Nelson hadn’t stopped me,” Nox murmured from the stairs, his head in his hands as he studied his feet.

“How could they do it?” Tony whispered, utterly lost as he went to Nox and joined him on the steps.

“I don’t know. Love?” Nox guessed but held up his hands, his eyes were puddled with tears as he offered Tony a wobbly smile. “They sacrificed my dad to save me and set that whole awful chain of events in motion. We were able to save the other girls and Walt will know nothing but blinding light and bees for the rest of his days. I won and survived the transition but I still can’t make sense of it and the abiding emotion is still… grief .” He pressed a hand against his sternum, considering, then nodded. “Yup. All I feel is grief and so much confusion when I think about all that has happened. How do I put that into words and explain what’s been lost when I can barely face it?”

“I understand now,” Tony said shakily, ashamed at himself for being so selfish when Nox had faced unimaginable horrors and had been betrayed by the people he loved most in the world. “I’m sorry I made it about me, when you were dealing with all of that.”

“Don’t be!” Nox cupped Tony’s cheek and pinned his gaze. “ I’m sorry if I made you feel like you didn’t matter or couldn’t be trusted. Sometimes, you were all that mattered and there were days when you and Nelson were the only people I trusted. I thought I could protect you and keep things between us from changing, but I put you in danger. Twice. I’m sorry for that too,” he said and pulled Tony into a tight hug. “But from now on, no more secrets.”

“It’s cool!” Tony laughed as they held onto each other. He thought about telling Nox about all that had happened between him and Ronan. But that wasn’t as much as a secret, just over, so he didn’t see the point. And Tony really didn’t want more of Nox’s sympathy after his remark about Aubrey. They had better things to do than dwell on his pathetic love life. “No more secrets. I’m ready to move on and I’d like to help you find whatever it is that’s killing these kids and kick its ass.”

That chased the haunted look from Nox’s eyes and brought a smile to his face. “Now, you’re talking!”