Page 20
Story: The Tenth Muse
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Misha vibrated with energy, samples of wedding dress fabric, ribbons, and other shit I didn’t even know the name of surrounding her.
It felt like I’d been in this room with her for at least four hours, but it had only been …
I turned to check the clock on the wall, fifteen minutes.
I was at my wits end with this wedding preparation fuckery; I thought I made it clear that I didn’t care what she did, but apparently, not well enough.
“I think we’re going to get really close,” Misha said, the poor thing terribly unaware of what was really happening here.
“There’s so much to do! So we’ll be spending a lot of time together. First, we can go over the wedding dress samples, there are about 25 of those, and then we can go over the flowers. I think that’s probably all we’ll get to today. Tomorrow, we can reconvene about the ribbons that will be draped over the aisles, the cutlery?—”
I jumped from my seat, my chair scraping the marble floor loudly.
“I don’t give a flying fuck about any of this!”
Misha shrank back, tears already welling in her eyes as her hands shook with one of the fabric samples.
“But the wedding …”
“Misha.” I dragged my hand down my face.
“When I said I didn’t care about any of the details, it wasn’t because I was so love-stricken that none of it mattered. It’s because I don’t care. At all. I would get married naked and then feast alone in my room if it were up to me.”
Not totally alone …
with Zuri.
Fuck, that was still so complicated.
Ever since our moment in the bar, our first kiss, I’d grown even more irritated with this wedding.
The union to Sanjry and Kaizer was needed, the brujas were dwindling, from the war and the lack of men to create witchlings, but it was getting more difficult to care about any of that.
As the daughter of our coven’s leader, I knew I had a duty to my people.
I wanted nothing else than for us to thrive, but I hated that this was the only way.
We’d lost too many great brujas, and while my gut instinct was to kill Kaizer, there was something else at play here.
Certain things felt …
bigger than me.
More significant than my mother.
I just didn’t know what yet.
Regardless, this was the last place I wanted to be.
“Okay, okay,” she stuttered as she looked to be gathering her thoughts.
“I can do it. I just don’t understand. Why don’t you care?”
She wasn’t just confused, she was perplexed by the idea that a woman didn’t care about the frivolity of a wedding ceremony.
Surprised that I hadn’t been thinking about this moment since I had conscious thoughts like many of the women here.
Brujas didn’t do these kinds of ceremonies.
If we loved someone, we didn’t need to show the entire world how much through our choices in cutlery and flower arrangements .
We tied our souls, never left that person’s side, and died with them.
That was, if they even chose to do that, we lived our lives so much more casually in Caldera—the kingdom of air.
Many of us enjoyed the freedom of being unattached.
Part of me felt like marriage was used as a ploy to control the women here, keep them busy and eager to settle for the mediocre vampire men.
“All of this.” I motioned to the room covered in frills and lace.
“It doesn’t mean anything to me, witches don’t do this. I’ll be there for the ceremony, but that’s it. If you need help, tell Kaizer, and he’ll give you someone to bounce ideas off in my stead.”
The king himself would have more opinions than I did.
If the agreement didn’t magically bind me, I wouldn’t have even shown up to the ceremony.
Misha shook her head.
“I’ve done this hundreds of times. I don’t need anyone. I just thought you’d want to be part of it. It’s so special.”
“I don’t,” I said as plainly as I could.
“Well.” She tucked her hair behind her ear as she got herself together, and a smile stretched across her face.
“It’ll be like a surprise! I’ve never done one of those! OH, this is exciting, actually.”
“Sure, if that makes you feel better about it.” I turned and left, the room vibrating once again with her over-the-top energy before I got into the hallway.
A crash and then manic laughter boomed at my back, and I picked up my speed before Misha tried to pull me back in.
We were meeting in my wing of rooms, pretty far away from my fiancé’s wing of the castle, and he didn’t come this way often.
But apparently, he was over here for something; I knew his footsteps, knew the unique beating of his heart.
Kaizer was heading my way, and from what I could hear, he sounded eager.
The time in which he intrigued me was long gone.
We’d shared a few heated moments, mostly ones where I was taking what I wanted.
After all, an orgasm was an orgasm.
But he wanted me to be someone I wasn’t, and there wasn’t a soul in this world who I’d let dilute me.
He didn’t think his kingdom would respect someone who behaved as I did.
Someone who showed skin, who fought and cursed.
A woman who did as she pleased.
I was certain he didn’t know what he was getting into when agreeing to marry me.
Or getting my mother to trick me into agreeing more so.
Contrary to the fire they wielded, the women here were soft and meek, and that was what he wanted from me.
To ask a witch to be docile was a crime.
We were born to be free, to be daring and dangerous.
There was an old saying that every time a bruja was born, the world shook in terror.
The wind stilled, and the heartbeat deep within the core of our land paused to recognize the power brought to life.
That was who I was.
My very name, Dayanara, meant forceful, and nothing could stop that.
Above everything, I did care about my people—my coven.
It was why I was here.
But something about this place wasn’t right.
I just needed to figure out what it was first.
There were ways to …
free myself later.
What I did know was I had no interest in sticking around for whatever Kaizer wanted from me.
Before I could think about it, I opened a portal and entered a hall on the other side of the palace.
I should be grateful I still had the ability to portal at all.
Since the agreement didn’t allow me to leave this stupid fucking place without permission.
I was reminded that vampires weren’t too familiar with portals as my smoke cleared, and I smacked into one.
There was always the potential to open one directly in front of someone.
Witches were pretty well-versed in portal travel and stayed on high alert.
We developed quick reflexes because of it.
As I caught a whiff of just who I ran into, the irritation waned immediately.
My beautiful handmaiden turned friend turned …
something else.
Zuri gasped and tried to turn around to face me, but I held her, pretending to need her body to keep me stabilized.
My hair fell over her shoulder, and she gave up the fight of trying to figure out who had run into her.
I gave enough leeway for her to spin in my arms and smirked as I let her go.
I’d portalled to a stretch of halls I normally didn’t see too many people, but Zuri looked to have been carrying big reams of fabric that were now unraveled on the ground.
Which was definitely my fault.
Oops.
I bent down to help her pick them up.
“What’s this for?”
“Your wedding,” Zuri teased.
“Yeah … about that.” I looked around to see if anyone was nearby.
Zuri stepped closer to me before asking in a hushed tone, “What did you do? Are you running?”
“Oh, he’s alive. Unfortunately. I may have told Misha to fuck off in regards to everything wedding.”
I couldn’t be sure, but I was fairly certain Zuri’s shoulders sank with disappointment.
Shit, I was disappointed the fucker was still alive and eager to be wed.
Alas, the tattoo marking our magical agreement on my skin remained—the shimmering, burning tree of Sanjry forever mocking me.
We were getting closer to fulfilling the arrangement, it would all be over soon.
Then I’d have more freedom.
Or I could fake his death.
Whichever felt better in the moment.
Nobody knew if it was the creator goddesses that overlooked magic-binding agreements.
Seeing as all four of them weren’t around anymore, I assumed it was some other ethereal power.
Regardless, breaking an agreement came with unimaginable consequences.
I wasn’t interested in dying, or losing a leg, or anything else that would happen should I not marry Kaizer.
“I’m not sure if an unsupervised Misha is better or worse,” Zuri said as we cleaned up the last bit of fabric.
“She said there were twenty-five samples to look at for wedding dresses alone. I don’t understand. They all look the same to me. White can only be done in so many different ways. Where were you taking these?”
“To Misha,” Zuri laughed.
I snapped open a portal, seeing the wedding coordinator crouched on the ground with various lace samples around her.
Not waiting for her to see the portal, I threw the reams in.
Her head turned as they thudded against the table, but I closed the portal before she saw me.
There was no way I was being pulled back into that mess.
“How much time do you have before you’re needed?” I asked.
“Well, I was supposed to help Misha with whatever she needed after I dropped those off. I guess I have some time now before she comes looking,” she responded.
“You sure as fuck do.” I rubbed my hands together, thinking of where we could go for a little privacy.
“Got it.”
My courtyard was shrouded in high shrubs, keeping us away from any watchful eyes.
The sky was starting to shift into night, that time of day when the stars were winking awake, but there was still a bit of orange mixed in with the dark blue.
The moon wasn’t shining yet, but it would be soon.
The faint curve of it peaked behind sporadic wispy clouds.
Some of the flowers were puckering shut for the evening, appearing like stunted buds.
But I’d been out here enough to know they’d be awake and unfurled by the morning.
The others were still open wide, bringing bright color into the mostly green space.
Zuri let out a sigh as she dropped onto the chair, her limbs hanging loose at her sides.
She hadn’t been sleeping much, being worked from the moment she woke to the moment she slept.
The other night, she fell asleep sitting straight up—in the middle of a sentence.
I had to take her to her bed and cover her with blankets.
Zuri was stubborn, not wanting to let me get her out of these duties.
Maybe I could convince her now that I wasn’t even involved in the wedding anymore.
Why would my handmaiden be needed if I wasn’t needed?
There was only a slim chance she’d agree, but maybe I’d try.
Her head hung off the back of the wrought iron chair, and I moved behind her.
Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, I watched her eyelashes flutter with a hint of a smile.
Even exhausted, she was a work of art.
Her light brown curls were still in perfect spirals, even with all the running around she’d done.
She still hadn’t moved, so I bent down further and kissed both of her eyelids.
I felt her pupils move before I descended to her nose, then her mouth.
Her lips moved against mine, and I nipped at her as I smiled.
“I can help you relax,” I said without breaking contact.
“Hm, how do you propose you do that?”
“I’m more of a show, don’t tell kinda girl,” I responded.
Before she could respond, I swept her up with my air magic, leaving the chair behind and bringing her to the thick padded grass.
The fact she didn’t try to figure out what I was doing, didn’t even try to open her eyes, made my chest warm.
She fully trusted me, and I couldn’t ask for too much more.
The first thing to go was these dreadful clothes.
Heavy, boring fabric that I’d never put on my body, let alone Zuri’s perfect form.
She sighed as each piece came off, leaving her in just her underwear and a camisole.
The urge to slide them down and taste her almost overcame me, but it wasn’t the time.
I must have spent too much time lingering with the thought because Zuri peered down her body at me.
I smiled coyly and lifted her bare leg, working my thumbs into her calves.
She groaned, and I thought maybe I had hurt her for just a moment before the pure bliss spread over her face.
Opening a small portal to my bathroom, I grabbed a jar of cream and set it down beside me.
The smell of it was divine—crisp and minty—but it also was supposed to help with soreness.
I scooped up a bit of it and warmed it in my palms before I rubbed it into her skin.
The muscles in her thighs were tighter than her calves, and I kept going until I didn’t feel any more knots.
I kissed from her ankle up to her hip, and somehow I had even relaxed myself in the process.
The arch of her back had me pausing, but she had been rubbing her neck and shoulders earlier, so I sighed as I flipped her over.
The curve of her ass was definitely worth it.
I straddled her back as I kept rubbing, using the base of my palm to really get into the problem areas.
Her skin glistened as the moon finally showed her face, and while I was definitely doing this so Zuri felt better, I couldn’t help but enjoy myself.
I studied the length of her neck and the freckles across her shoulders that were a perfect match to the ones on her face.
They looked so much like stars, and I wanted to learn every constellation.
I swept her hair to the side to make sure I didn’t accidentally pull it …
definitely not the time for pulling on hair.
Even if the thought had me biting my lip.
I’d thought that the way vampires got their blood was vicious, but part of me understood the impulse as I rubbed my fingers up and down her neck.
I scooted back to sit atop her ass and made sure her lower back got just as much love.
When Zuri was basically a puddle on the ground, I hopped off her back and watched as she stretched with ease.
“You don’t know how bad I needed that,” she sighed.
Judging from the amount of knots I’d just released …
I did know.
The moon was full, a spotlight directly on the courtyard.
I laid down beside her and put my head in the crook of her neck.
The smell of the cream still wafted in the air, and we both let out a sigh at the same time.
This was something I hadn’t done in quite some time, lying in the grass and simply staring up at the night sky.
Zuri’s fingers tangled with mine, her middle finger tracing the lines of my hand without her looking.
“What do you see when you look at the stars?” I asked.
She didn’t respond right away, and I tilted my chin up to look at her.
Zuri watched with intent, as if she had to remind herself of what she saw.
I watched the stars glimmer in her irises, the moonbeams grazing over her brown skin.
She closed her eyes, and I thought she wasn’t going to respond until her lips parted.
“I remember looking up at the sky as a child and wondering what the stars were. I thought they were glowing bugs, then I thought they were precious gems. Of course, I was educated on the reality, but I still like thinking of them as gems. My brother leaned into my beliefs and said that when we died, our essence was turned into a jewel and launched into the sky.”
She rarely said anything about her childhood other than the fact that it hurt too much to talk about it.
I didn’t want to scare her off or make her feel like she needed to retreat and hide again so I stayed quiet.
“That one.” Zuri pointed to a bright cluster with whims of blue and green bracketing it.
“That’s him.”
I pulled her closer to my chest, pushing her curls out of my face and tucking them behind her ear.
She hummed against me, a song I didn’t recognize, but it evoked emotions within me.
It was hard to determine if it was sad, or bittersweet.
I felt each note ring through my body, even thought I felt a warm tear through my shirt, but I didn’t ask any further questions.
“When I was little, my mom told me they were pockets of power. Similar to what you said, but the opposite. She told me that power waited up there to be reincarnated, that every time a witch was born, a star fell from the sky and into the soul of the baby. The Amapolas came from the brightest stars. It always felt like there were more and more stars each year as we struggled to keep our numbers up through the war.”
The coterie room was my favorite place to look up at the night sky.
With the domed ceiling and the openings between the beams, it was something like an observatory.
I’d sit at the top row of the room, and I’d map them.
There was even a time I talked to the stars.
Of course, I didn’t expect a response, but sometimes, it felt like they were the best listeners because of that.
With not many people I could turn to for help, it was nice to get things off my chest.
So I’d sit out there and talk to my ancestors, to the souls who would be born again.
“Let’s say we’re both right.” Zuri rubbed her cheek into my side.
“Let’s say.”
We stayed beneath the twinkling sky, watching as a few of them shot across the wide, dark expanse while keeping each other close.
I was the calmest I’d been since being sent to Sanjry.
The most in tune and …
the happiest.
Zuri’s friendship, and whatever else it was we were, made me truly happy.
The fact I couldn’t stay here with her forever beneath the sky hurt.
Not only was it something that needed to be kept from my fiancé, but it needed to be kept from my mother.
If she found out, it wouldn’t end well for any of us.
There were no limits to what that woman would do to keep her power.
Absolutely none.
“What are we going to do,” I whispered.
“I don’t know,” she answered, the words seeming to bubble up around us.
Neither of us knew.
It could all be taken away in a moment.
“I don’t even want to have to do anything with him. Let alone marry and …”
“You might have to.” Zuri’s hand snaked up my side and to my jaw.
“Where else can we go? I know what you’ll have to do. I’ve made peace with it. I just want to be right now. Just be in this moment.”
“Okay,” I said, even though I really wanted an answer.
But she was right, there weren’t many other choices.
We could run, but only so far.
Just being here in the moment would have to do.
There was probably only so much more time before someone noticed she was gone.
Misha kept them so busy, and for someone spread pretty thin, she kept a great eye on what was going on when it came to the wedding.
I was just glad that planning wasn’t my responsibility anymore.
But we were still here, and there weren’t very many moments Zuri and I were this alone, so I took advantage.
“Did you have dreams of where you wanted to be by now?” I asked.
“Like at this age?”
“Yeah.”
Zuri pulled through the ends of my hair.
“If you’re asking whether my dream was to be a handmaiden, it was not.”
“That’s not exactly what I meant,” I said.
“I know.” Zuri laughed into my chest.
“I don’t know. There was a path set out for me, but I didn’t want it. I never really thought about what I wanted. I just thought about what I didn’t. Until it was too late.”
“I don’t know what I’d be other than this either,” I admitted.
“What? No other skills outside of stabbing and maiming?” She teased.
“I am rather good at beheading. I think that might fall into the category of maiming, though.”
She bopped me on the nose.
“I think it does.”
“I’ve never thought about it either,” I said, and the truth of my existence was painfully clear.
What would I be if I wasn’t the creature my mother made me?
There was no room for interest or fun.
“You’re a young century and a half; there’s a lot of time to figure it out,” Zuri said as she ran her hand over the grass at our side.
I watched each blade bend and snap back up.
“Would you help me?”
Zuri had this effect on me.
Where I was vulnerable without even fully meaning to be.
Like all of those soft and fragile parts of me knew they were safe with her.
It didn’t make it any less scary as silence stretched between us.
“Figure out who you are?” She glanced at me with a crease between her brows.
As if it was something she never thought I’d ask for.
Which was likely, asking for help wasn’t my strong suit, but for this, I couldn’t think of anyone better to ask.
“See what makes me happy, outside of you, of course.” I smiled.
Zuri rolled atop my body, tossing a leg over my hips and straddling me.
She picked up my hand and rubbed her fingers into my palm.
“You could give professional massages.”
I smirked.
“Think I’d rather keep those for you.”
She plucked a flower near my head and tucked it into my hair.
“You could be a gardener. You love flowers.”
“Maybe.” I picked another one of the flowers and placed it behind her ear.
“You know what I think you’d be exceptionally good at?”
Zuri leaned closer, her chest lined up with mine, and the tips of our noses rubbed.
Her fingers ran up my sides, over my arms, and up my neck before she cupped my face.
Those dark gray eyes and the impossibly thick and curly lashes had me stunned.
With her scent enveloping me and her lips so close, I’d nearly forgotten she’d asked me a question.
“What would I be exceptionally good at?” I breathed out, the movement of my lips grazing hers.
“A handmaiden. You know that’s serious coming from a professional one.”
I laughed and trapped her body against mine as she tried to escape.
We both knew I would not make a good handmaiden.
She wiggled, her laughter stretching my smile wider.
A cool breeze pushed through the courtyard, and Zuri’s nipples hardened against mine.
The laughter tapered off, and Zuri became more intentional with the push of her body against me.
The pressure of her hips and her lips brushing against my cheek had my heart skipping.
I had the power to manipulate air, but at that moment, I couldn’t even control enough of it to take a breath.
There weren’t a lot of times I was on this side of intimacy; I typically took what I wanted and left it there, but this felt so much better.
There wasn’t a sole blaze burning in my core like usual, ready to be put out.
This time a million tiny fires sparked under my skin, burning from my head to my toes and back again.
The desire for her was everywhere, no space in me untouched by it.
An insatiable need to bring her as close as possible, to make sure she felt just how much I yearned for her.
That was a feeling I didn’t know what to do with, but it wasn’t something I ever wanted to give up.
Her lips finally found mine, and just like the first time, I wanted to commit her taste to memory.
To bottle the flavor and do with it as I pleased.
Those tiny fires I felt all over swelled into a conflagration, destroying me and making me new again.
We’d spent all that time staring at the stars burning in the sky, and one kiss from Zuri had me feeling like I was up in the atmosphere, shining and twinkling.
A kiss.
That’s all it was, not even sex, a simple press of her lips to mine, and I came undone.
People talked about how when you died, you remembered your favorite memories.
This one would be sure to flash across my mind in my last moments.
The moonlight bathed Zuri, the glow behind her illuminating her curls.
The sheen of her skin made her appear ethereal, like the moon was shining from within her.
I’d told her before how connected I felt to the moon.
That I always felt like I’d been there, that I’d run through her craters and danced in her glow.
Like the moon was just another ethereal being, and that she watched over me, and I her.
As if an invisible string connected us forever.
Right now, at this moment, I feel that for Zuri.
It was overwhelming but beautiful.
My mind had a hard time determining if this was a good thing.
The analytical part of me yelled that this would end badly.
That letting someone close would end in pain …
like the last time.
It was hard not to listen.
But the parts of me that knew I wanted her—needed her.
The warm feelings and the overall positivity she brought snuffed out that noise.
She tilted her head, her gaze bouncing between my eyes and my lips.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” She blushed and tried to tuck her head into her shoulder.
I lifted my fingers to her chin, turning her back to face me.
“Because you’re perfect.”
Zuri tried to look away again, but I didn’t let her.
Sitting up, I brought her into my lap.
With her legs on either side of me and my arm wrapping around her back and into her hair, I kissed her again.
Words weren’t my specialty, but I hoped she felt the truth in how I felt then.
She slipped her tongue into my mouth, and I returned the gesture.
Zuri’s head fell to my neck, her fangs grazing over my skin, and I thought for a moment she was going to bite me.
She didn’t, only sucked down on the flesh, which had my mouth falling open again.
I slipped her dress off her shoulder and kissed across her clavicle to the other shoulder.
There was something about her skin; I couldn’t get enough, no matter how much contact I had with it.
Zuri’s head fell back, and the tips of her hair tickled my arm across her back.
I took the opportunity to trail more kisses up her neck, hitting a ticklish spot that had her giggling.
She smiled at me again, and I kept my gaze on her as she studied my face.
I loved the way she seemed to find every piece of me pleasing, the grin only growing with every passing second.
The selfish desire to run, to abandon my coven and find a life where both of these smiles were permanent fixtures burned through me.
But I couldn’t.
The wind picked up, and I was partially convinced I was the one making the gusts without thinking of it.
Petals floated down around us, and we watched together as they settled down onto the ground.
There wasn’t a lot of time left, both in the evening and before she was going to be too busy again for moments like this.
With the wedding close, Misha was going to have every staff member busy from morning to night.
Zuri would need to check back in with the head of staff for the evening like she did every night.
I knew the clock would be ringing at the top of the hour any minute now, but I didn’t want to let her go.
She pressed her forehead to mine, and our hair tangled together in the wind.
There were so many words left unsaid, things we both knew would need to be spoken.
The pressure from reality was constantly pressing down on us, but I tried to let it go.
With Zuri’s legs and arms wrapped around my body and the night sky our only company, I focused only on her.
On what we could be if we only had the chance.
I concentrated all of my thoughts on what I’d found in her.
Safety.
A home.
Happiness.
Comfort and fulfillment.
I ran my hands down her arms and wrapped my fingers around hers.
“We’re going to figure this out, I promise.”
Table of Contents
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- Page 20 (Reading here)
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