Page 43 of The Tenth Circle

Like clockwork, my monster enters, but this time it’s not in my head. He’s in the room, lurking in the darkness of every corner like a venomous snake hissing threats until it’s ready to strike.

Paint…them…red…

His voice is hushed, but no less vicious.

Vicious.

Vicious.

Vicious.

The name given to my monster by all those who fear him.

Including those who I never wanted to see him.

“Get out of my fucking head!”

Vicious lets out a callous laugh.

Saint Matthias Lavell…when will you learn?

I cover my ears and rock violently back and forth, shooting out a frenzied, “Learn what?!”

My monster emerges before me as a shadow, shaped like the very snake he heard me call him.

That you are never getting rid of me.

I swing, but Vicious poofs into thin air right before I can make contact.

My voice is desperate, unrecognizable, as I demand the motherfucker show himself again. He does moments after, shadow-shaped as the Royals’ mascot lion. I swing again, stumbling through him.

The dance goes on as each JV watches in horror through one good eye, astounded at the sight of a Royal Heathen being reduced to fighting off hallucinations.

When I come face to face with Vicious again, there’s not a shadow, snake, or a lion to be found.

Only a man.

With clear blue eyes, a blurry face, and wearing a Letterman.

He watches me intently from across the room, sitting on the edge of the table spinning Halo around a finger.

I shove a hand inside my pocket, finding nothing but lint and my pills.

With my eyes squeezed shut I pull them out, popping open the Motrin bottle I use as a disguise and tossing another one in my mouth. Second of the evening since it’s obvious I can’t will him away. I swallow that shit down like sand, but I know it won’t work.

We’re both too far from where we should be.

My eyelids spring open and there’s Vicious, face clear as day and sporting a devilish grin.

Mydevilish grin.

Filled with as much mockery as my hatred toward him.

Toward me.

Toward my fucked up head.

The room spins as I pace side to side with Vicious in my peripheral inspecting my knuckles.