Page 50 of The Tempo of Truth (The Monsters Duet #3)

After all, he was the direct tie to the fire, and he was the one who kept dropping bodies at my feet.

I was impatient watching Winnie’s moves twist the rest of the enterprise into knots, while the face of the destruction seemed to get off scot-free.

Whenever I questioned her about her plans, she told me that there was nothing worse for a man like Oliver than standing in the ashes of everything he’d lost and realizing he was the one holding the match.

The man scrambled to make amends and pull his company out of the flames, but nothing he did could stop the momentum of the freefall.

I accepted that his suffering wouldn’t look the same as mine because of the difference in our lifestyles and the huge disparity in what we considered to be important.

But little did I know that at the same time I was laying Lev to rest, the Byrd headquarters, located in a landmark building in the city, mysteriously burned to the ground.

The incident was blamed on faulty wiring and a lack of proper maintenance.

What was left of the company was lost in the blink of an eye, and Winnie swooped in to acquire the legacy chain for mere pennies on the dollar.

The merger wasn’t necessary anymore because the purchase price was so low; she bought the other business outright and stopped the ship she put holes in from sinking.

Winnie proved she wasn’t just the captain of the massive Halliday fleet; she had a bit of pirate in her and had no qualms about pillaging those who tried to overturn her vessel on the stormy seas of big business.

Lev’s funeral was flooded with burly men trying not to cry.

They wore ill-fitting suits and talked about the hard-ass Russian who pushed them beyond their physical and mental limits.

They filled the space with their big bodies and bigger attitudes, which contrasted strongly with the refined, sedate show of support from Winnie’s family.

Win and Channing, Alistair and Bellamy, as well as Winnie’s assistant and most of her security staff, filled the rows of chairs at the funeral home.

It was an unexpected blend of high and low class; all gathered for the same reason.

I held Lowe on one side and let my mother hold my hand on the other.

Winnie stood next to me, unwavering in her strength and support.

She’d already offered to rebuild the gym in Lev’s memory.

I declined because it felt like rebuilding with no effort would make the fact that Lev was gone too pointless.

It shouldn’t be so easy to replace something that meant so much to those who had nowhere else to go.

I wasn’t sure what was next, but whatever it was, I had no plans to let Winnie pave the way.

She’d proven herself, and then some. She couldn’t be the only person in this unbalanced relationship trying to make progress.

If she kept moving forward and I stayed stuck in the same spot because I feared an even greater failure, I could never catch up to her.

And more than that, Lowe would be staring at me over his shoulder because there was no way I could hold my little boy back.

I handed Lowe to Winnie when I went up to give the eulogy. My mom squeezed my hand, and I could hear her trying to hold back a sob.

It was hard to speak with a lump in my throat. I could barely see the notes I’d jotted down, knowing I was going to have to get up and talk about someone so significant in my life.

“Lev was my last refuge when the world turned against me. He took me in without question, kicked my ass into shape, and forced me to stop feeling sorry for myself. He never promised me my life would get back to the point I dreamed it would, but he did his best to show me that a life with less was still worth something. As long as you’re living, there is always a chance to find a way to turn things around.

I know that he offered most of us in this room the second chance we desperately needed.

And while he never passed up an opportunity to make a quick buck, he was one of the most generous and giving people I’ve ever met.

I know I’m a better man for having had him in my life.

” I had to clear my throat several times before I kept going.

I saw Lowe watching me with a sad expression as Winnie whispered something into his ear.

I blew out a breath and stumbled through the rest of my words, trying to keep my emotions under control.

“I don’t know what’s next for Lev’s legacy, but I’d like to think it’ll keep in line with helping other losers like me find a different path.

I hope there’s a way to make sure that, through Lev, those of us who feel like we have no more hope can still see a way out of the darkness that surrounds us. I’ve got a little boy of my own now…”

I met Winnie’s eyes and watched as Lowe wiped a tear from her cheek.

“And I know I wouldn’t have the first clue how to be a father if Lev hadn’t knocked me upside the head a time or two and reminded me how simple it’s been for him to take me in even though we don’t share an ounce of blood.

” I got choked up and struggled to breathe.

Tears burned hotly in my eyes, and the crowd blurred together.

“Sometimes all it takes is a little effort to save someone from the worst of themselves. I know that none of us in this room knows much about what Lev’s life was like as a young man, but I think it’s clear he overcame great suffering in order to understand compassion the way he did.

” I shook my head and tried to pull myself together.

I heard, “Daddy, don’t cry,” shouted throughout the room, and a moment later, I was hit at the knees with a soft body. I bent down to pick Lowe up and held him against me, tight enough that he started to squirm.

“Lev would hate having us all sitting around morose and racking our brains trying to list all the good things he’s done when we all know good and well he was a master manipulator.

He would want us to open a cheap bottle of vodka and do a few shots in his name and then figure out the best way for us to scam a few dollars from the clergy who are giving him his final send-off. ”

A round of soft chuckles filled the tense space. I left the podium for anyone else who wanted to say a few words and took my place next to Winnie.

Lowe kept whispering in my ear that everything would be okay and shifted in my hold like he wanted to get down. He’d done great for his first funeral, but every little kid had a limit to what they could bear.

Winnie took him from me and promised our son she would find him a snack. As they walked away, my mother turned to me and grabbed my hand in a life-or-death grip.

Under her breath, she urgently told me, “You need to hold on to her this time, Kyser. If you let her and that little boy go, that’s the real loss you’ll never be able to overcome.” I looked at the woman who raised me and also ruined me, unsure how to respond.

“I always regretted taking the money Win Halliday offered us,” she said.

“It seemed like our way out. It felt like a lifesaver at the time, but it ended up being a trap. It gave us things that didn’t belong to us, so they were impossible to hold on to.

I’ll never forget the way you looked at me when I told you how much money I lost and that if your team didn’t lose that playoff match, I was going to be in serious trouble with my bookie.

It was like I stabbed you in the heart. That look showed me just how much I failed at being a mother.

I ruined you, Ky. Everyone in your life has, except for Winnie.

She has always been your biggest supporter.

She will never put herself before what’s best for you.

If I hadn’t taken that money and taken you abroad, I strongly believe you and she would have found a way to be together without all the interruptions.

” My mom grabbed my face between her hands and stared at me seriously and pointedly.

“That little boy is a manifestation of how much Winnie Halliday has always loved you. She didn’t have to share Lowe with you.

She didn’t have to make space for you in her extravagant world.

She didn’t have to wait for you to get back on your feet.

She’s doing all of that because she believes in you more than anybody.

No one in this world will love you as well as that young woman does. I’m embarrassed to admit it.”

I once again found myself choked up and overcome with emotion.

I sighed and dragged a hand down my face.

“I don’t think I know what it’s like to love someone as deeply as Winnie loves me, Mom.

I’ve loved and been passionate about things, but never another person.

” Maybe because I knew deep down, I was always likely to let the other person down.

I didn’t have the same examples of love and solidarity that Winnie did.

My mom squashed my cheeks together like I was a little kid and gave me a sad smile.

“Fine. If you don’t think you know how to love as big and grand as you’re being loved, then you fight.

We both know you can do that in your sleep.

Fight for Winnie and fight for your son.

And don’t ever stop. Don’t let anything get in your way. Okay?”

I grabbed her wrists and reached out to wipe away her tears the same way Lowe did for Winnie moments ago.

I forced a shaky grin, thinking to myself that Lev would have liked this moment between my mom and me quite a bit.

In another lifetime, I think he would have wanted to fight for her.

And since he couldn’t do that in this life, not once did he ever stop fighting for me.

“I’ll do my best to prove she made the right choice when she picked me.

” She had a lot of options but never wavered.

I was always the only one in her heart. As for me, since I decided to pry open the door of my rusty cage and step back into the world, the next step was to free her from the much fancier and harder-to-escape cage she’d always been locked in.

That was the best way for me to prove to her that I cared about her and understood what she needed better than anyone else.

Several weeks later, I put the theory that I was worthy of being Winnie’s best choice to the test.

I was running an innocuous errand, stopping by Halliday headquarters to make sure Winnie ate something and to check that she wasn’t rotting away at her desk.

She worked too much lately. Since I knew she was putting in extra hours to properly punish the people who hurt Lev, the least I could do was make sure she was well fed and had the occasional treat.

My mother was still in town. I’d had my hands full with her and taking care of Lowe, so there wasn’t much time to allow me to worry about the people who harmed Lev getting their just desserts.

My heart wasn’t as consumed with hatred as I thought it would be.

Instead, it felt like it was balanced on a precarious precipice, ready to tip over into something new and exciting with the slightest push.

I was torn about opening myself up to feelings I never thought were possible, but I knew I had to take the leap if I was going to commit myself to Winnie and our son.

All of that nearly came crashing down when the elevator doors at Winnie’s office opened, and I caught sight of the man who treated the lives of those he considered less than as a commodity he could toss in the garbage once they served their usefulness.

I froze for a moment, then rushed into the small space and cornered him against the back of the enclosure.

In one hand was a bakery bag filled with sweetness; in the other was Oliver Byrd’s throat.

I dug my fingers into the fragile column so hard I nearly crushed his windpipe.

The elevator doors started to close, and I seriously considered whether I could choke the life out of him before we reached the floor where Winnie’s office was.

All I could see was red and the small urn that held a larger-than-life Lev. This guy might be worth a fortune monetarily, but he couldn’t touch how valuable Lev had been to a bunch of guys who were just like me.

For a couple of seconds, I thought it would be worth it to shove my fist down his throat and my foot up his ass.

The satisfaction of making him bleed seemed like it would be much more gratifying than watching him squirm on the hook Winnie impaled through his chest. In my head, I kept hearing everyone telling me that I was a fighter and reminding me to fight for what mattered most. And somewhere between the scent of fried dough and the expensive air freshener that filled Halliday Inc.

, I realized I wasn’t a fighter or a football player.

I was a dad.

And I was Winnie Halliday’s first and forever love. Nobody else could ever claim that honorable distinction.

If I tore Oliver Byrd apart, all it would prove was that I was physically stronger than him and not nearly as in control as I wanted to be.

If I fought him now, all it would do is show Winnie that my impulses and pain were more important to me than being there for her and Lowe.

I’d end up in a real cage, not a metaphorical one.

And maybe most importantly, my actions would show Winnie I didn’t trust her enough to handle this man, who was honestly just the first in a long line of the exact same type she was going to face off against as the head of the company.

I didn’t understand the rules of her world, but I knew if I was the one to break them, she would ultimately suffer.

Once I released his throat, he scurried out of the elevator without so much as a backward glance.

I knew the short scuffle left him injured, but he didn’t seem like he was fleeing from me and my wrath in terror.

More like he couldn’t get away fast enough from the kingdom and the queen he’d so thoughtlessly offended.

I’d never thought of Winnie as a woman who was intimidating or fierce, but I looked forward to uncovering those sides of her.

Choosing her and Lowe over knocking out Oliver Byrd’s teeth really made me wonder if I’d been in love with her since the start and was too stupid to realize it.

My love sure as fuck looked different from everyone else’s, but you’d think I would recognize it at some point.

Winnie had always seen things between us more clearly than I did. I silently hoped she could always see what my love looked like because it was crafted in her vision and her vision alone.