Page 23

“I grew up in a palace,” she said. “When I married Armand, I went to live in his fine palace with an army of servants at my disposal. I do not mean to sound stupid, but I have never cooked a meal in my life. I know recipes and how to manage kitchens and stores, but there were servants who were trained as cooks and I supervised them. I might burn the house down if I try to prepare a meal.”

He knew she came from nobility and wasn’t accustomed to menial tasks or chores, so he took some pity on her. “I can probably find ye a servant tae help with daily tasks,” he said. “And some of the trainers have wives who would be happy tae teach ye what they know. Would ye be willing tae learn?”

“Do you expect me to be a beer wife?”

He chuckled. “Nay, but I expect ye tae understand I live simply,” he said. “That means ye’ll have tae learn how tae manage a home yerself.”

“I’ve never lived simply in my life.”

“Ye lived pretty simply as a captive over the past few months.”

“That’s different,” she said. “That is survival.”

“True,” he said. “But what if I told ye that it would mean something tae me if ye were tae try tae make a nice home for the two of us? I’ve never had one, ye know. I always thought my wife would make a nice, warm home for me.”

She shrugged. “I can try,” she said. “I cannot promise I’ll be any good at it, but I will try.”

“I’m sure ye’ll be perfect.”

Astria wasn’t used to praise or anyone having confidence in her. It made her feel uncomfortable, but also giddy. She couldn’t remember ever having been commended in her life—not by her nurse or tutor or even her parents. No one ever had.

But Payne had and he didn’t even know her.

They entered the collection of cottages, noting the children playing up ahead on the grassy area that comprised the village center.

There was a well there, protected with an iron cage from nosy children or clumsy people.

Some young boys were running around and watching them were two women, one with a baby in her arms. As Payne and Astria drew closer, two of the little boys spied Payne and ran at him.

There was a lot of screaming going on as they crashed into the man’s legs. Payne groaned loudly, making sure to hand the satchel over to Astria before he plunged to his knees. That only seemed to feed the boys’ bloodlust, because they began jumping on him, trying to knock him over.

He went down in a heap.

Gleefully, the children climbed on him, thrilled that they had managed to bring down a grown man.

There were two other children playing about, and when they saw Payne lying on the ground, they joined the fun.

Payne soon had four boys crawling over him and he lay there, stone-still, until one hit him in the nose.

After that, he was forced to sit up.

“You’d do better to remain down, Payne,” one of the women said as she walked over with the other lady. “You know they’ll try to choke you now.”

As predicted, one of the lads threw his arms around Payne’s neck and squeezed. Payne had to move the arms so they wouldn’t hit his Adam’s apple.

“Ye’re raising a pack of wild animals, both of ye,” he said. “These ruffians are going tae burn Blackchurch down someday and ye’ll be blamed for it.”

The women snickered. “I’ll only be blamed for two of them,” a tall, beautiful woman with dark hair said. “The other two are de Merest children. Gigi and Fox can take credit for their own bad parenting.”

“And I only have the baby,” the shorter woman with a lovely face and accented speech added. “I will ensure my son does not grow up like a wild animal.”

Payne grinned. “’Tis probably true,” he said. “Sinclair is an elegant man. Yer son will reflect his father.”

“And Tay is not elegant?” the tall woman said, cocking a dark eyebrow. “Be careful of your answer, Payne. Unless you wish to provoke me.”

Payne grabbed the nearest boy, who happened to be a son of Fox de Merest. “Tay Munro is a beast of a man, but I’d not have him any other way,” he said. “Now, if ye wish tae strike me, go ahead, but ye’ll have tae go through my human shield first.”

He held the boy out at arm’s length in between him and the tall woman, who broke down into soft giggles.

That prompted Payne to set the boy on his feet and stand up, but as he did so, he noticed that the women were now focusing on Astria, who was gazing at them somewhat nervously.

Dislodging the lad from around his neck, he lifted an arm in Astria’s direction.

“I’m sure ye’re wondering who this lovely lass is,” he said. “Ye’ll not believe me when I tell ye.”

The women were looking at Astria openly now. “Who, Payne?” the one with the baby in her arms asked.

“My wife.”

That brought gasps of shock. “ Wife ?” the same woman said. “When did you take a wife?”

“This morning,” Payne said, standing up as the child with his arms around his neck still clung to him.

“This is Astria, Lady Matheson. Astria, this is Lady Athdara Munro, wife of The Leviathan, and Lady Elisiana de Reyne, married tae one of my dearest friends, Sinclair. Just the ladies I wished tae see, in fact.”

He specifically didn’t mention his new title, or any of Astria’s titles, because he hadn’t told any of his friends yet and he didn’t want them to hear it from their wives.

Elisiana was the first one to approach Astria.

“Welcome, Lady Lismore,” she said, smiling.

“We had no idea Payne had taken a wife or we would have welcomed you with more fanfare.”

Astria smiled in return, though it was hesitant. “It is a pleasure, my lady,” she said. “And I am a gift from his mother.”

Elisiana’s smile faded and she looked for an explanation at Payne, who shook his head.

“A tale for later,” he said. “For now, Lady Matheson requires yer assistance. I realize ye have children tae tend, but mayhap one of ye could help my wife clean my cottage and mayhap prepare a meal. I’ve duties tae attend tae this morning, a class that is already waiting for me, so I was hoping tae leave Astria in yer good care. ”

Elisiana didn’t hesitate. “Of course,” she said, holding out a hand to Astria. “Come with me, Lady Matheson. I’ll put the baby down to sleep and we will go and see how much work Payne’s cottage needs.”

There was genuine warmth in her eyes. Astria could see it.

But she’d just spent five months in captivity with a woman who held her life in her hands, so she was reluctant to follow Elisiana.

She was reluctant to deal with any woman right now, no matter how kind.

In fact, she didn’t really want to be separated from Payne because she was coming to equate him with safety.

That was something she very much needed, but she hadn’t even realized it until now.

She’d spent months pretending she wasn’t scared and that her situation didn’t matter, but the truth was that she was and it did.

Now, she faced separation from the man who’d essentially saved her and was trying to pretend as if that didn’t matter, either.

But it was a struggle.

The women must have sensed that. As Elisiana gently took her hand, Athdara came alongside her and smiled encouragingly.

“Come, my lady,” she said. “You look as if you could use some sustenance. I have fresh bread and butter and porridge for my children, but if you like porridge, you are welcome to have some as well.”

They were trying to lead her away, however kindly, but Astria balked. “Please,” she said. “I must speak with my… my husband. Please grant me a moment.”

With that, she quickly moved away, but she was motioning for Payne to follow her. He did, lowering his head so he’d be closer to her when she began to speak.

“I cannot go with them,” she whispered.

He put a gentle hand on her cheek, a gesture meant to comfort. “I promise they are good and kind ladies,” he said. “Please dunna fret. I wouldna leave ye with anyone I thought might not be trustworthy.”

The touch on her face startled her. Astria had never had anyone touch her so sweetly or gently.

It only served to emphasize the cold and unfeeling home she’d grown up in and the cold and unfeeling world she lived in.

No comfort, no kindness, no love. She’d told Payne that her captivity with Maude had been about survival.

So had her entire life.

And survival could be a cold mother, indeed.

“I… I simply meant that we have a duty to… to consummate the marriage,” she said, stammering over her words. “I was married once. I know how important it is. Should we not get it over with?”

Get it over with.

Payne wasn’t sure he liked the way she said that, but he understood why.

She was looking at the situation pragmatically, but pragmatism with a hint of fear.

He could hear it in her voice. Frankly, that had crossed his mind also, but he didn’t think this was a good moment for such a thing because he really did have an entire class waiting for him and he didn’t want to do something quick and businesslike and then leave her alone afterward.

There was that weakness again in him, the man with empathy who wanted to be kind and gentle to a woman he was increasingly coming to realize hadn’t known much of it in her life.

Everything over the past eight months had been hell for her, and he didn’t want to add to it with a lusty and quick consummation.

He wanted it to mean something.

He was to be married to this woman, this beautiful woman, for the rest of his life, and he didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot with her.

He’d always hoped his marriage would be a pleasant one and was willing to do what he needed to do to make that happen.

This may have been an unexpected union, but he accepted it. He had to.

It would do no good to make either of them miserable.

“We will,” he said after a moment. “But I dunna think this is the right time for it. My cottage is not appropriately clean for a woman and I am not so eager tae bed ye that I would do it just anywhere. I want it tae be a moment of discovery and hopefully even pleasure for both of us. Now, if ye disagree, then I’ll take ye over tae my cottage at this very moment and get it over with, as ye’ve said.

If it means nothing more tae ye than that, then we’ll go ahead with it. ”

She gazed at him, her expression full of confusion. “But… it is not meant for discovery or pleasure,” she said. “Is it? I’ve been married before and, I assure you, there was no discovery and certainly no pleasure. It was uncomfortable and painful and… What more is there to it?”

He could see the bewilderment, and given she’d married an old man who had more than likely not taken any time with her, no tenderness or joy, she knew nothing else. She knew a duty and nothing more.

It was his job to show her the possibilities.

“There is a good deal more,” he muttered.

“I am sorry yer husband never showed ye that, but ye have a new husband now and, God willing, yer last. I will show ye what more there is tae it and I promise ye’ll like it.

And we start by giving the duty the respect it deserves—in a clean bed in our home.

But if that’s not something that appeals tae ye, just say so.

I dunna have tae be kind or gentle about it. I can treat it like a duty if ye wish.”

There was something hard in his voice as he spoke. Astria could hear it. His expression suggested that he wanted to be kind and considerate, but something in his eyes was… defensive. As if the man didn’t want to be hurt. Truth be told, she didn’t want to be hurt, either.

Her guard went down, just a little.

“That is all I know of it,” she murmured. “I was not trying to be harsh about it, but truthfully, that is all I know of it. If there is something more to it… I would like to know.”

“Are ye at least willing tae trust me?”

“Without question.”

She said it with no hesitation at all, which made him feel better about the situation as a whole. Perhaps all wasn’t lost. Perhaps she wasn’t lost.

Perhaps he could change her opinion after all.

“Then let Athdara and Lisi help ye with the cottage,” he said. “I have a class waiting for me, but I’ll return tae ye, I promise.”

The warmth was back in his tone and it somehow did her heart good to hear it. She hardly knew the man, but she was quickly coming to know him, and she was most definitely learning how he made her feel.

Good.

“As you wish,” she said. “I will do all I can to ensure you have a pleasant home to return to.”

He gave her lopsided smile. Then he bent over and kissed her on the cheek before turning to Athdara and Elisiana.

“I leave her in yer care, ladies,” he said. “I’ll return later.”

With that, he headed off toward the end of the village, where there was another road and big stables in the distance. Astria watched him go, still feeling that kiss, not even realizing that Athdara and Elisiana had crept up on either side of her, watching him go too.

“Come along, Lady Matheson,” Elisiana said, reaching out to take her hand. “We have a big day ahead of us.”

Astria let the woman pull her along. Athdara was calling to the boys, who were still running around, falling down and then piling on each other like puppies.

But Astria wasn’t paying any attention to the children.

Her focus, her thoughts, were on the big Scotsman she’d just married, intrigued that he should be so concerned about the consummation of their marriage.

Perhaps that was a good thing.

She was about to have a baptism by fire at the Blackchurch Guild.