Page 70
A nother night and then a day, alone in his cave. Jai craved to do something, anything, to make progress, but he knew forcing it would not do. So he ignored the pull of his responsibilities, even as his tribe drew ever further away, and the Sabine legion neared.
He stilled the hunger of his ambition, and rather let the curiosity of his soul interwind with that of its twin.
That first night, it had been hard. Dark hours, when the temperature dropped and icicles formed from the condensation of his breath upon the ceiling. It was all he could do to stave off the cold and hunger that would otherwise have wracked his body, let alone focus on Winter.
But this place was strange. In forcing the extremes, it taught him to perfect every aspect of soulbreathing, scaling up what he could manage as he became more adept. Even his body became attuned, the highway from lungs to core growing stronger with every breath, such that Jai could almost do it in his sleep.
For as morning came, he’d left his mind empty, riding the gale that was Winter’s consciousness. He soared the skies he could not see. Wrestled with the wind itself, beating against its challenge, before turning to ride those same billowing buffs.
Winter had hunted wild goats upon the mountain, letting her instinct take hold as she gorged upon their steaming flesh. Jai had tasted every morsel, listened to every crunch.
It irked him at how slow he was to figure this out. Such that now, with the sun set and the frost spreading, he once more released his umbilical, coming back to his own reality like surfacing from a deep dive.
He almost instinctively gasped for air, before groaning at his stiff body and discomfort of only smoothed rock for his bedding. Sleep seemed the next logical step, and he hoped he had accumulated enough mana that he would wake up to an empty core and a warm body.
But sleep eluded him now.
Perhaps Erica had come, and chosen not to disturb him. Or would she be offended he had not come to see her? Was it his turn?
Jai cursed his long years of solitude. Arjun would have known what to do. He had always been so jovial, so at ease with himself. Jai had always been jealous of that confidence, so natural it never strayed to arrogance.
Now he fretted. And knew sleep would elude him until he’d settled it. And the longer he waited, the more likely she’d be abed.
Jai emerged into the cold, hissing through his teeth as his feet crunched through the snow, its top layer frozen into an icy sheen. He ducked his head to look into alcoves, seeing some empty, their devotees beginning their next attempt to survive the night, in the hopes of becoming acolytes in the morning.
Others held men and women alone. Some had lit their spaces with glintlights, others had small balls of flame providing the dual purpose of light and warmth. Some lucky few had blankets, or had strung curtains to give them privacy.
So Jai was relieved when he spied Erica through one of these curtained entrances, reading upon her back by glintlight.
‘Erica,’ Jai whispered.
She turned, surprised, and Jai felt relief surge as she smiled at the sight of him.
‘Come in,’ she said. ‘Get out of the cold.’
Jai ducked inside, closing the curtains behind him. It was tight in there, such that they had no choice but to squeeze opposite each other, their thighs pressed close, their heads near enough that he could make out the rare freckles beneath her eyes.
For once, he didn’t mind their accommodation so much.
‘You’ve been at it a while,’ Erica said, her voice hushed after a quick glance at the curtains. ‘I heard the Speaker. You’ve never soulwalked before?’
Jai rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.
‘It’s not that unusual,’ Erica said, anticipating his answer. ‘It takes a while. Most manage it after a year or two, but you had to ascend so quickly, with the hemlock and the soulgem and all... well. You picked a hell of a place to learn to do it.’
Jai nodded and allowed her a sheepish smile.
‘That’s why I’m here.’
Her face fell just a little and he immediately regretted his choice of words.
‘I mean, I wanted to talk more. But I also...’
He trailed off.
‘I can’t see it, you know?’ he said, keeping his voice down. ‘I can hear it. Smell it. Taste it, even when I don’t want to. But I can’t see.’
He gave a grimace, and Erica’s frown became a chuckle.
‘Yeah, mountain goat takes some getting used to. Regin can’t get enough of it.’
She tapped the side of her head.
‘You need to... It’s impossible to describe, you know?’ she said.
‘Can you try?’
‘It’s like... listening with your eyes.’
Jai chuckled, shaking his head. He might have given it more thought, but it was hard to concentrate with her so close, the warmth of her soft thigh pressed to his, her hair grazing his shoulder. Her presence had always weighed heavy for Jai, but she had always been closed. Hiding herself. As if she were ashamed to be seen, in the throes of her grief for her father and her dragon.
Now he saw the woman behind the mask. A joy, and a passion for what she held dear, and a love for her people that he wished he could match. It made her radiant, even within this dim nook on the far crest of the world.
She ran her fingers along the roof of the cave, rubbing them along her lips where they had become chapped by the cold. They were pink, like petals in cardamon milk.
He had the urge to lean in and kiss them, but a fearful twist in his belly made him avert his gaze.
Even now, as she chewed her lip, thinking on soulwalking, Jai saw a spark behind those eyes that he had only seen a dim shadow of in their journey across the empire’s expanse.
And Jai too knew he had changed since last they’d met. He had overcome so much, even since he had last seen her. Sometimes, he had felt an imposter. But today, he stood the victor of two battles, and was now leader of one of the greatest armies of the Great Steppe.
Now he felt her... equal. It gave him the right to risk that kiss, when the moment came. He dared see a world where a woman of her bearing would consider him a suitor.
‘Let me try something,’ she said. ‘Let’s soulbreathe together. Like you do with Winter. It should help with your mind’s eye.’
Jai heard her, but the words did not register.
‘Go on,’ Erica said, and Jai realised he’d been staring. ‘Close your eyes.’
Jai did so hurriedly, glad his complexion hid the heat of his cheeks. Erica placed a hand upon his sternum, mimicking the rise and fall of his chest.
‘Together,’ she said.
Jai settled into a steady rhythm, the cool of the wall unyielding until it numbed his back.
‘I see you,’ Erica said.
He felt her hand take his own, and Jai’s fingers were pressed to the soft rise of her chest.
‘Relax,’ she said. ‘Match my breath. My heartbeat.’
Jai could hear it. The dull boom of her pulse alongside his own. Slowly, his racing heart began to ease, as he focused on the sounds. The joining of their lungs, their hearts, in unison. It was unconscious, hard to do if he tried directly. He let his body adapt at its own accord, focusing on the breathing and letting his heart follow.
A stray subconscious thought flitted, Jai thought to do this with another person... it felt strangely intimate. But he pushed the thought away.
For a while, they stayed that way, and Jai sank deeper into the trance, the beat slowing, the breathing growing longer, softer. He could see his core’s chamber, deep within himself. The first motes of mana dripped through its crystalline shell, a fierce glow in a dark cavern. With these in sight, he knew he had entered the full trance.
‘Listen for the light,’ Erica whispered.
Jai was too relaxed to try. He simply... allowed it. For his mind’s eye to seek. And this time, he knew where to look. For the pulse, the music of Erica’s life and soul, was coming from somewhere. At his front, he could see Winter’s melded braid stretched from his core into the far darkness to her own, pulsing merrily with light.
He had seen it many times, but never so clearly.
But behind him... it was like his mind unfolding, slipping into another state. He could see the distant prick of light. Erica’s soul. Glowing like a boreal star.
‘Do you see me?’ Erica asked.
‘Yes,’ Jai breathed.
‘Come closer.’
Jai followed the instruction instinctively, his mind responding without knowing how. They were there. His core, and hers. Hanging like miniature suns.
But hers... it was strange. For while his own shard of core was a mass of jagged opaque crystal, her own core was pale and round as a white marble, with swirling, geometric patterns cut along its surface. It was glowing a near pure white, such that Jai could hardly make out the ornate beauty of its exterior – it was clearly filled to bursting with mana.
His own jagged lump looked drab and dull in comparison, filled with only a few drips of mana as it was. The sphere drifted closer, and Jai was compelled to match it, drifting his core closer.
‘Jai, wait,’ Erica said.
It was too late. His core brushed hers.
For a brief second, Jai saw his own face, eyes closed, brows furrowed. He almost looked... handsome.
A jolt slammed him back against the wall. He coughed, and rubbed the back of his head, dizzied by the crack he’d received.
He looked at Erica, who gave him an apologetic wince. She seemed none the worse for it.
‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘You weren’t supposed to touch.’
‘What happened?’ Jai mumbled.
He could feel his core had been emptied, for his body was beginning to chill.
‘Forget it,’ Erica said quickly. ‘It seems you’re pretty good with that mind’s eye of yours. You just looked in the wrong place.’
Jai stared.
Realisation hit Jai. He’d spent so much time tugging and feeling at the cord that had bonded him to Winter, he’d not thought to follow its path, to seek out the source. No wonder he could only pick up a hint of what Winter was sharing with him.
‘Long day tomorrow,’ Erica said.
Jai was quick to take the hint.
‘Thank you for the lesson,’ Jai said. ‘Sorry for... you know.’
She nodded hurriedly, and Jai ducked out into the cold before the awkwardness could draw on any longer. Still, as he hurried back to his own little hermitage, there was a bounce in his step, despite the prospect of a long night of soulbreathing to build up a reserve lest he freeze in his sleep.
For his mind was dwelling on other things. Because just for a moment, Jai had seen more than just Erica’s gaze. He’d felt her soul .
It had been a brutal, intrusive thing, and he was glad it had only been for a moment. But he’d beheld himself in her eyes for the briefest flash of time. Felt the tug of care for him, of worry and even... something else. Of wanting to brush his own hair from his cheek.
A strange double feeling that had left him befuddled, and glad. Jai trudged frozen beneath a sea of stars, careless of the wind that burned him, a smile upon his lips. Tomorrow was another day.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70 (Reading here)
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96