Page 36

Xander, March 8th

I bite my tongue to not cringe. Nate still hasn’t told him. The realization turns my stomach.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

Trying to salvage the mood and divert the topic, I roll over Nicko, making sure to catch my weight on my elbows as I lean down to nose over his cheeks. I press my lips against the shell of his ear so I can keep my voice to a low murmur.

“In any case: The Rebels are idiots.”

Nicko looks up at me with those green eyes, still red and frustrated.

My heart skips into my throat. “I bet every time you score, someone is getting yelled at for not sending you that contract already.”

Nicko snorts, tilting his head, but he doesn’t pull away. “Shouldn’t you worry more about winning the trophy, Xanxan?”

“Nope,” I grin, “but I’ll let you touch it when I do.”

“Ass!” Nicko pushes against my chest, but still tips his chin up to meet me halfway when I lean in to kiss him.

“I'll let you touch that too,” I laugh when he groans at the pun. “Although, to get even, you should let me touch yours first.”

“What?”

“I mean, you’ve already been in mine.”

“Oh God, you’re terrible!” Nicko laughs, despite his groan and glowing cheeks.

“Unless you already know you don’t like that?”

“What?”

I shrug. “I don’t think you were honest with me at Christmas. It’s cool if you don’t want to bottom, I just want you to tell me and not make me guess.” I’m glad I followed my instincts that night. Otherwise, we might have very well checked it off right then and there. And while I want to imagine I'm not a terrible partner in bed, I don't think anyone should figure out whether or not they like something by just doing it. At least not without communicating first.

“I– that! Hmpf.” Nicko is back to hiding, but at least this time it's only behind one hand, so that I can still see the blush that's spreading over his cheeks. I chuckle and nose along under his jaw.

“Don't worry about it, it’s everyone’s first time at some point. And some people don’t like to bottom at all, which is also totally fine.”

“It’s not that I don't want...I just…” he grimaces behind his hand, then sighs and slowly pulls it away to gesture. His eyes are fixed on a point on the ceiling rather than looking at me. “I didn't want you to make it into a whole thing. That I am…”

“A virgin?”

“I'm not a virgin! ” He swats at my shoulder.

I catch his hand, pressing a kiss into his palm, then link our fingers together. “Okay, okay! You're not, but you haven't had anal sex before.”

“Uhm, what about Christmas?”

“I mean you haven't bottomed before.”

Nicko grimaces at my direct words, but nods slowly.

“Would you like to?” I ask, carefully, though not without some curiosity.

“Ugh, after all this incredible pillow talk I’m not sure I do.” Nicko narrows his eyes at me. His cheeks are still flushed pink, so I don’t let it deter me.

“Suuure,” I play along, running my hand down his side to pull one of his legs up over my hip. My hand slides up his thigh to his ass. Our hips rub together, letting me feel his interest pressing against my own. “You aren’t curious at all.”

“You did make it look kind of fun, so…” Nicko huffs and cups the back of my head, pulling me down into a kiss. I let him turn us over, chuckling when he smirks triumphantly.

“Mhm, it is,” I say, working my abs to pull myself up to sitting, curling my arms around Nicko to keep our balance. He scoots backward until I can lean against the headboard and he sits over my legs.

We keep going in for short kisses, running our hands over each other's arms, legs and chests, sneaking under t-shirts and teasingly plucking waistlines away. It's not rushed, just feeling the others' skin.

Eventually, I make the first move and take my shirt off, letting it drop to the side. Then I slide my hands under Nicko's, pulling it over his head. He grumbles, but sighs into my mouth when I lean in as soon as he's free.

By the time we've both shucked our sweatpants, Nicko is rocking against me, arousal plain in the bulge he presses into my lower stomach. I let him while I slide my hands up over his thighs, fingers pushing under his boxers. I reach around to cup his ass, making him rise up to his knees with a short huff. My hands move on to settle on his hips.

“We don't have to...today, I mean.”

“Again with the outs, Xanxan? Shut up,” Nicko groans and pulls me into another kiss, then pushes my head back. Obediently, I tip my chin up as his lips slide down to my throat. His teeth scrape over my skin and I groan. My hands tense, groping at his skin, before I move them further up to brush along the curve of Nicko’s spine and the dips to the right and left of it.

He shudders when I slide my fingers down, pushing under his boxers, teasing at the top of his crack.

“Nervous?”

“...yes,” Nicko admits after a moment, tilting his head. “But that’s not a bad thing,” he adds and I nod, leaning up to nudge him under his chin with my nose.

“No, it isn't.” I move my fingers deliberately slowly to get him used to the motions. “And if you want me to stop, just say so and I will.”

“Always great to talk about stopping before we’ve even started,” Nicko jokes again, but his shoulders relax just a fraction.

I chuckle and playfully swat his ass with my other hand. “Alright, I’ll shut up if you take these off.”

Nicko growls, holding on to my shoulders as he wiggles out of his underwear. He wants to throw them in my face—I can see it in his eyes, but in the end he throws his boxers off to the side. When his hands reach for mine, I catch his wrists.

“Later.”

Nicko pouts, which is so unlike him that I laugh.

“I want to focus on you,” I admit, breathing the words against his lips.

“Pff, I think I’m starting to understand why Olli calls you So–”

“Absolutely no mention of Yardley while we’re in bed together,” I growl darkly. My fingers cut off his teasing by inching further down so that the next noise he makes is a surprised gasp. It does wonders to appease me, and I trace along the sensitive skin down to his entrance.

Nicko’s nails dig into my flesh, but I keep going. My movements are slow and gentle. I only pull away to briefly suck the first two fingers of my right hand into my mouth.

When I return the wet digits to brush over his skin, Nicko lets out a shuddering breath against the side of my neck. I hum and turn my head to nose into his blond hair. I repeat the motion a few times, until his breathing is back to normal.

With my free hand, I reach over to the nightstand, blindly pulling open the drawer. I’m expecting it there, so I’m not surprised to find a bottle of lube. I shift my legs apart to spread Nicko’s as well. He hisses, but I ignore him, focused on reaching around him to drizzle lube over my fingers.

Hearing the click of the cap, he tenses briefly. I nudge him again while rubbing the gel between my fingers.

“I promise I’ll make you feel so good,” I lean up to mutter the words into his ear. They elicit another shiver.

“Don’t just pro-ohh–”

The warm feeling of smug satisfaction spreads through me, when I once more cut off his words by rubbing my slicked-up fingers over his hole.

His thighs tense where they’re bracketing my own.

I drop the lube onto the bed to have my hand free, running it up over his leg and grabbing his ass cheek. I pry him further apart to have more room for my fingers. The tip of my index pushes against the muscle, massaging gently. My thumb traces down to the spot just behind Nicko’s balls, pressing carefully.

Nicko jumps, powerful thighs working to push him up onto his knees. He moans out, then gasps for air.

“What...what the fuck?” he says breathily after a moment, making me chuckle. I tip my head back to look up at him, leaning in to lick over one of his nipples.

“Intense, hm?”

“Ye-yeah.” He blinks, twisting at the waist as if he could see what's going on. He then thinks better of it and slides down into my lap. His erection brushes my stomach, marking a warm trail down to my groin.

I groan as I roll my hips up to meet him. His hands cup my head, and I close my eyes, readily parting my lips when Nicko's mouth captures mine.

His tongue pushes inside, insistent and demanding. The urgency sends heat down my spine. I give in to the need and buck up against him. Gasping for breath I break away, groaning when he only reluctantly sets my mouth free. He then moves his own up along my jaw, until his teeth tug on my earlobe.

“Fuck, Nicko…”

It feels too good to stop, but there's another point to this after all. When Nicko next takes over my mouth, I once more push the tip of my finger against his entrance.

After a moment of resistance, it slides inside.

Nicko jolts, but he doesn't move away. I bite my and accidentally Nicko's lip too when I feel his hole flutter around my finger. I hold still, letting him feel the slight stretch. He shifts on my lap, rucking forward to rub his erection against my own, then backward toward my hands.

“Ohh,” he breathes when my finger slips another inch deeper.

“That's it,” I hum, twisting my wrist. My other hand wanders to his front, giving his erection a slow stroke to take his focus off of what I'm doing to his ass. Nicko instantly strains forward into the contact, huffing when I keep my palm loose around him. I rub my thumb over the tip, start to slowly move my other fingers back and forth.

He moans, quietly at first, louder when I crook my finger, then I push in past the first joint. Bracing one hand against the headboard behind me, Nicko pushes himself back.

I watch as his eyes go wide—their lively green framed perfectly by long lashes. My eyes flick down to his mouth, lips parted and shiny, but there's no sound coming out.

Nicko lets himself fall forward, burying his face in my neck. His back curves and he juts out his ass, just a fraction but enough for me to feel.

I pick up the lube with my free hand, but don't bother to pull my fingers out; I simply drizzle the gel at the top of Nicko's crack.

He hisses and bites my neck at the cold wetness. I grin and rub it into his skin, let it run over my fingers and spread it over his entrance. I spend a few moments soothing him, then bring up my middle finger to push into him alongside my index.

“Oh, shit,” Nicko gasps, rocking against me with shallow thrusts. I slowly pick up his rhythm and start fucking him with my fingers.

He writhes in my lap until I spread my legs even wider, curling my other hand over his hip to guide him. Every now and then, I hold him still to push my fingers further inside, spreading them slowly. Nicko's erection is leaking against my stomach. I can feel a wet spot developing at the front of my boxers, but right now his pleasure takes priority.

His broken moans and frantic panting are the only thing I pay attention to. Curling my fingers I listen closely to pinpoint the moment when I find that sweet spot. It only takes a few thrusts until Nicko pushes up so suddenly that he almost knocks his head against my chin. His back arches, mouth opening with a shout. I pull my fingers away, just a fraction before pushing in again.

“Oh, fuck, fuck! ”

Nicko's entire body shudders, his legs squeezing around mine as his hole does the same around my fingers. My erection pulses with regret at not being inside of him. But this is enough for now.

“Come on, Nicko,” I urge him on, rubbing my cheeks over his chest, his throat, anywhere I can reach while also holding him.

I peg his prostate again and again, growling softly. I'm hungry to see him come, see him fall apart. I want it almost as much as I want to come myself.

“I–! Xa- ah! Le– Lexi!” he cries out—whines, almost. I stretch my neck to mouth down his throat, scraping my teeth along the straining tendons.

“Come for me,” I rumble against his neck as I push my fingers into him once more.

He shudders in my arms, head tipping back. His brows furrow for a moment as his muscles pull tight—and then relax all at once.

His release spurts over my chest and stomach, trickling down my abs, but I'm focused on Nicko, watching his chest rise and fall, slower and slower, until he's breathing normally. The blush that's glowing on his cheeks fades into a soft pink. His lashes flutter and open to his gorgeous green eyes, that are clouded with the aftermath of his orgasm.

“Fuck,” he breathes, and I can't help but chuckle.

It's like I'm given permission to move again, though I wait until Nicko has his legs under himself once more. Then I slowly pull my hand back, wincing when I catch the grimace on his face.

“Sorry.” I know it's unpleasant; I should have warned him.

“We're definitely doing that again,” he says lightly, eyes straying downward. They widen, darting up and then down once more.

I take a look down as well, taking in my stomach and chest covered in Nicko’s cum, some of it staining my tented boxers. I clear my throat, rolling one shoulder.

“It's...don't worry,” I say, but Nicko just raises his brows then pushes his hand into my underwear.

His touch alone is enough to make me groan. I wrap both my arms around him, burying my face against his chest. He barely has room to move his hand between us, but I crave the warmth of his skin. This close I can smell his sweat, the scent of his release, and a hint of the sandalwood aftershave he uses.

It takes only a few strokes and Nicko’s fingers squeezing around me before I come all over his hand.

“Fuck, Nicko,” I gasp when he doesn't pull away, but wrings every last drop of pleasure out of me. His fingers trace the tip of my cock before he eventually lets go. He raises his hand to his mouth, looking at me as he licks it clean. My dick gives a weak twitch.

“Don’t copy my moves,” I accuse him as I let myself sink back against his headboard.

Nicko snickers, leaning across to the nightstand to grab a few tissues. He wipes us both clean before I curl one arm around him and turn my head to bury my nose in his hair. I allow myself to close my eyes, listening to Nicko’s quiet breathing.

Thankfully, the headboard is too uncomfortable to fall asleep. It digs into my shoulder so that I only manage to hold out a few minutes.

Nicko makes an unhappy noise when I nudge him, turning to bury his face against my collarbone.

I chuckle, but do it again. “Come on, let’s clean up, and then we can sleep.”

Another few unwilling grunts, but then Nicko slides off the bed, moving to stand. He winces and then looks at me.

“Yeah, you’ll feel it for a bit,” I admit, offering my hand to him.

He grimaces, but curls his fingers around mine. “Feels weird,” he adds after a few steps.

“Bad weird?” I ask as I open the door to check the hallway. It’s quiet enough that I think taking the risk to walk half-naked to the bathroom is worth it. Nicko seems to agree because he hurries ahead, holding the door open for me. I snort as I squeeze in next to him.

I grab the toothbrush I left here last time I was over and hold it out so Nicko can squeezes paste onto it.

“No, feels...empty,” he says after a moment, still standing there with his toothbrush in hand.

“It’ll pass. If you have some, you can use aloe as a salve. It helps.” I look up from where I’ve spat out the toothpaste. Nicko’s eyes dart up from where they'd been trailing over me. I tilt my head, but he just starts brushing his teeth with a quick nod.

Once we’re back in his room, Nicko flops down face-first on his bed, then rolls over onto his side with a sigh. I chuckle, but make sure to close the bedroom door and turn off the light before I get in next to him.

“You’re not hurting, right?” I mutter lowly, pulling the blanket out from under him to cover both of us.

“Mh-mh,” Nicko mutters vaguely, already half asleep.

“Sure?”

“Ugh, stop worrying!” His eyes glitter up at me in the near darkness before he turns on his side again. “I hurt worse after training.”

With a placating hum I change the topic.

“Finally found a polka-dot-worthy nickname, huh?”

Nicko just sighs, barely turning his head, but his lips quirk up after a moment. “I guess so,” he yawns, curling up a little tighter. “Night, Lexi.”

“Good night, Nicko,” I murmur. My heart squeezes in my chest. I've been fighting the realization, but I can't deny it any longer: There's no getting Nicko out of my system.

I want him far beyond what I can have and what he's willing to offer me. I want to show him new things. I want to be the reason for his surprised looks and thrilled laughs. And although it riles me up like nothing else, I want him to tell me I have a weak-ass backhand. I want to chase him across the ice just to hear him tell me to try better next time.

I settle for sliding my hand over his hip, letting it rest there carefully. I’ve never dreaded the end of a season more than this one.