Page 55 of The Sun & Her Burn (Impossible Universe Trilogy #2)

“It doesn’t have to,” she insisted, leaning forward earnestly.

“If you’re brave enough to believe in them, they can come true.

Miranda told me all my life I wasn’t good enough to act, and today, the Oscar-winning director Georges Gallegos called me to offer me a part in his next project.

For years, I’ve fantasized about being bent into shape with rough hands and cool words by a man powerful enough to take care of my needs in the bedroom and the real world.

When I needed your help with Miranda, you called in the cavalry and rode in like a white knight.

Today, when I needed to be broken apart by pleasure to get out of my own head, you dismantled every thought until all I could hear was your voice and all I could see was you. ”

She sucked in a deep breath. “Wanting something so badly it hurts doesn’t mean it will end in more pain. Especially when what you want—who you want—feels the very same way about you.”

“We’ve known each other for six weeks,” I countered. “You do not know me well enough to say that.”

She shrugged slightly, but her gaze was narrow with intensity as she pinned me in place with it. “I might not know the details, but I know the shape of your heart, Adam Meyers. People have fallen in love with less.”

“Don’t speak of love,” I hissed. “You swore to me when we started this, you would not fall in love with me.”

She cocked her head, completely unruffled. “Funny, I don’t remember you promising to do the same.”

“I’m going out,” I declared as alarm bells trilled in my head. “Don’t wait up.”

“Where are you going?” she asked, and I could hear her get off the chair as I turned around to head back into the house.

“Out,” I bit off the words. “Just because we live together doesn’t mean I have to report all my doings to you, Linnea.”

“You’re mean when you’re scared,” she singsonged like the brat she was. Always pushing me, always prodding for weakness so she could wrench it open and kiss it better.

Well, not this time.

If she touched me again, I’d come apart.

Want pushed against my skin like an infection, bloating and ugly, just waiting to split the fragile flesh and ooze into the open.

I kept forgetting why I couldn’t have her, him, them.

And then, something would remind me by kicking me in the bloody teeth.

“Stay,” Linnea asked as she followed me through the kitchen to the foyer where she watched me tug on a jacket and toe into a pair of loafers without bothering with socks. “You can’t be going anywhere good looking like that.”

“You want to know where I’m going?” I growled through my teeth, spinning toward her and taking the three large steps between us so I could wrap my hand around her throat again. “I’m going to a club so I can slack some of this relentless thirst you and Sebastian have cursed me with.”

“You don’t need to leave the house for that,” she said calmly, but her eyes were bright with daring, and she leaned hard into my grip around her neck.

“I do,” I gritted out. “This situation is rapidly devolving into something without rules and boundaries. Something that could hurt us all.”

“I don’t think you can stop it now,” she said quietly. “You and Sebastian, Sebastian and me, maybe even the path that brought us here to the three of us now, it all started a long time ago.”

“Do you know why Oscar Hampton is coming after me now?” I demanded as poison bubbled up my throat and over my tongue.

“Because I was lonely after Sebastian and Savannah left, and I ran into Oscar at a club in London whilst I was visiting. He knew about my bisexuality, about how Savannah and I used to be.”

I closed my eyes as memories swept through me like ghosts, leaving nausea and goose bumps in their wake.

“I just wanted a friend.” I forced the words through my tight throat but didn’t look at her. “I just wanted to be seen for a moment after feeling invisible for so long even in front of masses.”

“And he took advantage?”

I nodded slightly. “It was a mistake. I was deep into my drinking stage, and he took advantage of that. I hardly remember the evening, but I woke up naked in a hotel room with Oscar smiling beside me. I told him once was more than enough, after I was sick in the toilet. He seemed fine with it. Only, a few weeks later, he called asking for a favor.”

Linnea made a humming noise of realization. “He started blackmailing you.”

“Yes.” It felt good to talk about it with someone other than my publicist, agent, and manager.

“I didn’t even realize at first.” My laugh was rough enough to hurt my throat.

“Only when he asked to be production designer on my latest Jonathon Cross film and I told him it wasn’t possible did he start threatening me. ”

“How long?” she whispered.

I opened my eyes to see her beautiful face suffused, not with pity as I’d feared, but rage.

“Seven years,” I told her. “Ten months ago, when I was signed on to play Anton Daventry in the spy films, I drew a hard line and told him no more.”

“And he told you he had a sex tape,” she filled in the blanks. “So all this started.”

“All this started,” I agreed, realizing my hand on her throat had softened, my thumb pressing lightly against her pulse to feel it pound steadily against my skin.

It was wildly soothing. “Everything I’ve ever wanted, Linnea, has ended brutally.

Perhaps, if I keep myself from loving you, from loving him, I can keep that taint for you both. ”

“Adam.” She exhaled my name and reached up to touch my jaw with her fingertips so gently, I wondered if she thought I might break. “That’s not how life works, honey.”

“It’s how my life works,” I said unequivocally. “I’ve had thirty-nine years to test its effects, and I won’t risk it now. Not with you.”

“What if I want to take the risk?” Linnea said, stepping closer so she could palm my own throat, brush a thumb over my rabbiting pulse point.

“I may be younger than you, Adam, but I know how hard life can be. I’ve had blood on my teeth for a long time, and I’m not afraid to take one on the chin for you when I have to.

A little hardship isn’t enough to drive me from your side.

Not now, and especially not if you give me your trust.”

“If I had known how lovely you were when Sebastian suggested this arrangement, I wouldn’t have brought you into my mess,” I told her honestly, ignoring her plea.

Instead, I reeled her in by the neck and pressed a kiss on her forehead before releasing her and turning toward the door.

“Don’t wait for me,” I said.

And I meant don’t wait up, but I also meant don’t wait for an old, broken man to change his mind.

Linnea didn’t say a word, so maybe she finally understood me.

It should have made me happy, probably, but as I closed the door without looking back, I felt sick enough to lose the contents of my stomach in the bushes beside the garage.