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Mason started our tour of the sound with the inspiration behind his boat’s name, Kingfish. It was named after his memories with Holden, who not only helped him fix it up, but became his boyfriend shortly after his seventeenth birthday. Jorge’s and Haven’s secretive nudges had finally paid off and both of them stopped playing games.

I was trying to do something similar this summer.

I thought of one thing only while Mason tried to steer Holden off his tube. One thing while Haven and I danced in the wind. One thing the entire seafood dinner, even as the water outside changed from blue to white to orange with the setting sun.

Everett.

I perched myself on a cushion on the bow, legs folded under me, hyper-aware of how I looked. I imagined myself how Everett would. Was my tank top billowy enough when I was dancing? Did summer bring my light brown freckles back to life? Was my wind-spun ponytail casually cute or just a mess? Did I look mysterious behind my sunglasses?

Everett and Kelsie had broken up last Christmas, so we were back in this game we loved to play.

Haven called me as soon as she found out. It was easy to feel relieved, but even easier to feel guilty for considering someone else’s heartbreak a Christmas present. I fought the urge to text him my condolences. I didn’t want to open that can of worms so far from summer. I didn’t want to be a tease.

I tried not to be a tease now, or a rebound, even if it had been six months. I didn’t know why they’d broken up, or who broke up with who, but I couldn’t assume it had anything to do with me. Why the hell would it? Still, I couldn’t help how my heart hummed. I sat next to him and tried to put my best foot forward, like I was a movie he was about to review.

I swished my pony tail behind my back, pretending it was because I didn’t like how it stuck to my warm neck. Look how carefree I am!

Boat name backstories were enthralling. The life jacket buckles were mesmerizing. The orange soda was astonishing. Look how relaxed I am!

I wore a subtle smile, pretending my resting face actually looked this sweet. Look how happy I am!

I loved how the spotlight felt, even if I was only glowing in my head.

Finally, Everett’s eyes found mine. I didn’t immediately turn my head, but I couldn’t help it after a couple more glances at the cotton candy clouds.

I’d never forget his smile, the golden fractals of sunset on his cheeks. I was stuck inside the visions of a sound sunset I never wanted to be rescued from.